Volume 4 - CH 7

〇 Past

“I’m home-“

I said so when I got home, but there were no words in return. That’s no wonder My family had run away to the countryside. Now I live on support from relatives, advertising income, and part-time job money that will be gone soon. Well, I don’t think anything of it, because even if I had family, they wouldn’t have answered either.

“……Huh?”

I went to the living room where no one was supposed to be, and for some reason, dinner was placed there. I think….my relatives would call me if they were coming, and if it was Shinobu, she would tell me. That means, was it Hikari that made this place a shooting place? But she seems to have finished her part-time job later than me today…..well whatever.

“Hm……?”

No, it’s not good at all. I feel like I’m forgetting something,……or rather……something that’s being added into my memory….seems like something important…… Something being connected  in a convenient way….like that. Well, if you say it’s just a feeling, maybe it is. There’s no such thing as a goddess. It’s all in my mind.

“I’m home.”

“Eh? Hikari?

Just as I was about to eat dinner, Hikar came in. Did I give her the key to my house…..? My memory is a little hazy these days…..

“Did you make this, Hikari? Thank you.”

“Ah, …..right. It’s probably delicious. I put a lot of love into it.”

Hikari’s reply was vague…….

“Why did you come to my house? Are you about to shoot?”

“Even though you can go home any time you want, you haven’t come home yet, so there must be some circumstances. Isn’t it better to deal with the irregularities?”

“Go home……? You’re talking about my family……?”

“I’m just talking to myself. Besides, it’s valuable for me to see Senpai right now.”

I really don’t know what she meant, but I lost the timing to pursue it because she  sat down in front of me normally and started eating her convenience store lunch box.

“Mmm, yummy ! Hikari, you sure are a good cook. You’ve only been in the kitchen for about a month, right?”

“More importantly…Senpai, you’re too excited. Or rather….well, you’ve grown calmer when you’re an adult….”

“I’m just being normal. Hikari, you seem to be a little tense these days.”

“That’s just the way it is. It’s nice to be young.”

And then she started spouting old people’s lines. It was as if I had entered a different world.

“How are things really going? Daiki kun. You never seem to win.”

“Why are you so obsessed with Daiki?”

“Because Senpai told me……?　Well, that’s right,….. I’m just a little curious.”

“Well, it’s nothing……. Of course, it’s frustrating not to win…..but there’s a part of me that’s given up on it thinking that it can’t be helped…no matter what. I think it would be nice if I could go back 10 years ago and start all over again from elementary school.”

“Haha, that’s funny. Well, that’s true……If you can’t win now, just go back in time. It’s a story that everyone fantasizes about.”

“The truth is time is a powerful thing. It’s all about accumulation. If you can start over from the same starting line,……you can go back in time, but if you don’t change, there’s nothing you can do.

For example……if I could go back to 10 years ago, would I be able to beat Daiki? Will I be able to try my best? I think so. But…I think that I can’t win anyway.

“But I’m a little surprised. I thought you were more obsessed with Daiki kun.”

“But I think he is. But, you know….”

“I understand what you mean. This kind of thing accumulates. The more time passes, the more the gap opens up, the more feelings accumulate. 10 years from now, it will be more. 50 years from now, it will be……unimaginable.”

“Fifty years from now…..I’ll be able to settle down after my sixty.”

“I wonder. In fact, adults and children don’t change that much. The more you grow up, the more you lose control of yourself. There are people like that out there, right? People who think that once they grow up, they will get married on their own. But in the end, if you don’t want to change, you can’t change no matter how long it takes.”

“That’s kind of deep….did you get yourself a boyfriend?”

I was honestly impressed by her talk as if she had been drinking. Suddenly, the sound of a door being unlocked reached the living room.

“……Senpai, stay back.”

“No, it’s not like he’s a thief or anything. I’m sure it’s Daiki or my parents. I’ll explain to them about you, Hikari.”

“I wish that were the case,…….”

For some reason, Hikari stood up with a tense look on her face. Anyway, I stood up too, and about the same time, the living room door opened.

“Y….you’re…..!”

There was…..!