Chapter 19

I trembled in his strong hold, his warm breath hitting the back of my neck causing chills to appear, as I stood frozen. The wolf had awoken and I had done exactly what Alaricus warned me not to, I ran.

His hands travelled down to my waist slowly, turning me in his hold so that I faced him. I looked up into his golden eyes, absolutely mesmerized by their wild beauty. His hands went up to my face, and he cupped it in his warm calloused hands, eyes running over the lengths of my face as he came impossibly closer to me.

"Beautiful." He spoke softly into the silence, his voice deeper then normal. I bit down into my lip to keep it from trembling as I stared up into his golden adoring eyes, not knowing what to expect from the wolf.

"A-Alaricus?" I stuttered out, wanting him to speak to say anything instead of simply stare at me.

"Eros, not Alaricus." He said, his trance still not completely broken as he reached down wrapping an arm around my knees and one around my waist. He hoisted me up into the air pulling my small form into his broad chest. I stayed still in his hold not wanting to irritate him more than I already had. He gazed down at me reverently as he walked back to the bed, careful not to jostle me as I stared back at him with my eyes slightly widened at his gentle behaviour. This definitely wasn't what I had expected.

My muscles tensed as I was lain on a soft surface, the very bed that I had run from. I sat up as he sat in front of me, staring at me with those wild golden eyes of his. I gulped nervously, why did he insist on staring at me in that way. It made me nervous reminding me of the way a predator would observe the prey before they attacked. I shuffled under his intense gaze, trying my best to hold in my instinct to cringe away, but my slight flinch did not go unnoticed by him. He reached out grabbing  my hand from my lap he brought it upto his chest, holding my hand atop his heart so I could feel the strong beating of it.

"Eros loves mate, but mate doesn't love Eros." He says softly the wild shine in his eyes turning to a dim sadness. I turn away from him, wondering how to respond how does one tell the most powerful wolf that they didn't love them, that they couldn't.

"Does mate love Eros?" He asked softly, pulling me in closer. I bit into my lip nervously, he was too close, his proximity set off all my survival instincts telling me to get away from him. This man was more dangerous and more combustible than anything I had ever been near. This could simply be the calm before the storm, and one wrong word from me could bring the clouds rolling in.

"Mate doesn't." He said softly, almost as if to himself. He opened up my fingers gently pressing my open palm to his heartbeat he shuffled even closer. If he got any closer I would be settled in his lap.

"Eros' heart beats only for mate, Eros loves mate." He speaks softly trailing his fingers over my cheek slowly as he gazes into my eyes sincerely.

Eros stares at me, his wild eyes holding a lively hope, one that I couldn't live up to, but one I didn't have the heart to diminish. He looks down at his lap sadly when I don't respond, and my heart clenches, this was almost worse than what I expected. Aggressive was easier to handle than hopeful and sweet.

I looked down not knowing what to say, almost letting out a squeal when strong arms wrapped around my waist, yanking me into Eros' lap. He pressed me into him, holding me so close that every curve of my body was pressed against every line of his.

"Not close enough." He growled under his breath, he let me go for a moment resting me on the bed gently. He pulled his shirt off revealing his broad muscled torso covered in smooth tan skin, gathering me in his arms again he set me down into his lap, tucking me under his chin so that he could rest it on top of my head. He was so much larger than me his body completely enveloped mine so that if someone were to glance at us sitting here from behind I doubted they would be able to tell he held me in his lap.

My face was pressed against the smooth skin of his chest, his intoxicating scent filling my senses, Eros smelled like the forest after rain, with a hint of spice, perhaps cinnamon, and something that was indescribable but so incredibly intoxicating that it had me burying my face into his skin inhaling deeply, making him growl deeply in approval.

His arms wrapped tighter around my waist as he nuzzled his face into my hair, purring deep in his chest. He adjusted me in his lap so that he could look into my eyes as he held me close.His eyes trailed over my form as I fiddled with my hands nervously, his eyes glinting in approval and he sighed deeply in content.

"Mate's so beautiful, Eros is so lucky." He said nuzzling my cheek with his nose. I bit my lip, sitting there silently as he spoke.

"Mate likes reading?" He asked and I nodded my head, looking up at him, biting into my lip subconsciously as I wondered as to why he had asked.

"Eros doesn't like reading, but Eros likes watching mate read." He told me softly and I glanced up at him to see him staring down at my lip so I slowly release it from where I had bitten it, his dilated pupils constricting at the sight.

I had always wondered why I would often catch Alaricus staring at me while we sat in the library instead of reading his own book, I guess this would explain it.

"Mate always looks beautiful. Mate makes cute faces while reading and mate is kind she treats everyone well even the help." Eros said, gently brushing my hair away from my face as he coddled me in his arms, pulling me even closer as if I couldn't get close enough. He nudged the top of my head with his cheek before resting his cheek there, letting out a low sigh. I glanced up at him to try to figure out what had upset him suddenly, he had seemed content enough.

"Mate is Eros' miraculum, our only chance at love, Eros loves mate but mate doesn't love Eros." He spoke sadly, his eyes growing glossy with unshed tears as he spoke, his pink plump bottom lip jutting out in a pout. My heart felt like it was constricting at the sad look on his face, it felt like I had accidentally stepped on the tale of a puppy.

"I-I'll try." I offered, willing to do anything to console him.

"Mate will try." He repeated, nodding to himself he pressed a deep kiss to my cheek, looking satisfied as he stared into the night seeming to be content with me in his arms. But soon his face dropped again making my eyes widen in panic since I had thought the crisis had been averted. He looked down at me with his gleaming golden eyes framed in thick black lashes looking more like a kicked puppy than the feared creature he was should be allowed to.

"Why doesn't mate love Eros? Or even Alaricus? We love mate so much, Eros loves mate so much but Alaricus always pushes Eros back, refuses to let Eros be near mate. Doesn't let Eros mark mate, kiss mate, love mate. Mate would love us if we marked mate, mate would never leave us." Eros said, his voice growing softer as he spoke of what he desired to do, making a shiver go down my spine.

Hearing Eros speak his mind inspried a newfound appreciation for Alaricus in me. If Eros was always like this then Alaricus had to constantly suppress him and his urges, perhaps I was too harsh on Alaricus. He was probably always fighting back Eros so that I would be comfortable, so that he could give me time. Eros was so affectionate and Alaricus had to hold him back from doing what they both desired to do.

"Can Eros mark mate?" He asked softly and I stiffened in his hold, not knowing what to say. I softly put my hand on his arms trying to disconnect them from my waist and he growled deeply, pulling me even closer, his chest rumbling as he released small growls.

"Why does mate always run away?" He asked gruffly and I looked to him hesitantly but what I saw makes my heart clench painfully. A lone tear trailed down his beautiful face, his luscious lips in a pout as he looked at me in utter despair, eyes shiny with tears, pain clearly displayed in them. My hands twitched in my lap, the instinct to reach out and comfort him almost overwhelming but I didn't know how to.

I sat nervously chewing on my bottom lip as I pondered over what to do before hesitantly reaching out for him I settled my hands on either side of his face. I leant up so that I was at eye level with him, gently wiping under his eyes as he stared at me with wide eydes.

"I'm sorry." I apologize pressing a kiss to his forehead. His growls quietened as he stared into my eyes before completely subsiding. The slight pout on his lips had yet to disappear and made him look almost childish, a complete contradiction to his broad chest, muscles, and his dangerous aura.

I buried my face into his neck, wrapping my arms around his waist so that I was hugging him close to me. Slowly his arms found their way around me as he tugged me closer into his chest, burying his face into my hair seeming like he had calmed down a bit from the even breathing.

"Eros needs another kiss." He stated as I pulled away from him, making me let out a giggle as he stared at me, his eyes holding a childish wonder. I pressed a kiss to his cheek quickly and a small smile graced his beautiful face. He nuzzled me fondly for a moment before his face contorted again into the sad pout but the mischief I could clearly see shining in his eyes had me sceptical.

"J-just one kiss?" He asked, and I laughed loudly throwing my head back as I do at the dangerous wolf that pretended to be sad only to earn a kiss from me. He watched me in wonder as I laughed, gold eyes shining with an adoration worthy of being addressed as worship.

My laughter became subdued at the way he was looking at me until only a small smile lingered on my face as I looked back at him, and shake my head in denial.

"Only one for Eros." I said, and he pouted as he looked down at his lap hiding his eyes from me so that I could only see the soot black lashes that nearly brushed his cheek, looking more like a petulant child than a dangerous beast as he sulks.

"That's what Alaricus says, Eros can't have kisses but Eros wants kisses." He mumbled under his breath as if to himself and I couldn't help it. I pressed another kiss to his cheek making his face brighten up immediately from the pout, his eyes seeming to glow with happiness as he glanced back up at me.

"One more?" He asked hopefully and I had to fight back the smile on my face as I obliged him by giving him another kiss on the cheek.

"Now no more." I said making his shoulders slump slightly but he nodded obediently nonetheless.

"Getting to hold mate like this is enough for Eros." He conceded, nuzzling my cheek with his affectionately, pulling back suddenly as I yawned, the adrenaline from earlier in the night completely drained and making me exhausted.

"Mate is tired, mate must sleep." He said grabbing me gently from his lap and laying me down onto the bed. He lay down beside me wrapping his arm around my waist tugging me so that I was laying nearly completely on his chest.

He pressed a kiss to my temple, inhaling deeply as my eyes began to droop and his arms tightened around me. I fell asleep in his warm hold, hearing him whisper softly into my hair before I surrender myself completely to the darkness

"Meum miraculum."