14

Farren looked over at the digital clock on his right, it's red numbers shining in the darkness.

4:16

He rolled back on to his back, staring up at the ceiling. While his sleeping had somewhat improved in the past week, probably something to do with getting everything off his chest and telling Kaden, tonight it just wasn't happening for him.

It was technically Friday morning at this stage. In a few hours he'd have to get up for school, then he would only have to get through seven hours until he was free for the weekend.

He sat up in bed, the covers gathering around his midsection as he did so.

The only sound to be heard in the room was Kaden's soft, deep breaths in a regular pattern.

He looked at the boy lying at the other end of the bed.

No matter how much he tried, he could not deny that Kaden was fucking hot.

He lay there, the light from the moon seeping in from a crack in the window and illuminating his features. The soft white light highlighted and shadowed the intricate sharp lines of his carved face, his blond hair catching the light and ever so slightly shining where it hit.

A dog barked outside, snapping him out of his reverie.

God, what was he doing? Why was he being such a creep, staring at Kaden's sleeping form and thinking about how beautiful he was.

He didn't know what was happening to him lately. In the last week or so, he'd caught himself staring at Kaden a lot more than he should have been.

Kaden was still being so hot and cold with him, making him confused as to where he stood with him. Take Wednesday for example. In the car as he took him home from football practice, Kaden had been talking and joking with him normally. Then, fast forward the car journey to when they arrived home. It was like a switch had literally flicked in Kaden's mind. He had trudged upstairs and had made no effort to talk to him for the rest of the night.

When Farren tried to talk to him all he got in reply were one word answers and grunts of acknowledgement. Then, Kaden was back to normal the next morning!

But Kaden's confusing moods, he could deal with that.

However, he could not deal with his own confusing feelings. Every time Kaden made a flirtatious joke, he felt his stomach drop. Even though he knew that was just Kaden's nature.

Every time he accidentally brushed up against Kaden, he felt himself blush beetroot red.

What the fuck was actually happening to him?

Deciding that he needed a drink of water, Farren kneeled up in preparation to leave. He slept on the side closest to the wall, so in order to get out of the bed he would have to climb over Kaden's sleeping self.

He crouched down, his weight on the balls of his feet. He made to move over Kaden, when his foot caught in the duvet cover and he slipped.

Oh fuck.

He landed on top of Kaden, jolting him awake.

"Jesus Christ, what the fuck is happening?" Kaden said as he woke with a start, groaning with pain at the impact of Farren's knee hitting his side.

"Sorry, I slipped." Farren replied, nursing his own leg which had twisted into some awkward position.

"You slipped? Well done Farren you fucking goon." Kaden snapped in agitation.

"Oh shut up Kaden, it's not like I did it on purpose." He snapped back.

"Farren?"

"What Kaden?" He huffed back, not in the mood for another one of Kaden's moody comments as he was nursing a sharp pain in his knee.

"You might want to move?"

It was only then that Farren realised how compromising their position looked. The fall had left him with one leg on either side of Kaden's knees, straddling him. His left arm was planted on the bed next to Kaden's chest, his right arm by his side.

Their bare chests were very close and Farren could feel Kaden's breaths on his forehead.

He looked up to make eye contact with him, and a that moment everything froze.

Farren suddenly became extremely conscientious of the fact that they were both hardly dressed, each of them just clad in boxer shorts.

The two stayed in that position for what felt like years. Neither of them dare to spoke. Farren's breath was hitched in his throats and he could feel Kaden's breath growing quicker.

This was not supposed to happen.

He couldn't help his eyes from moving down Kaden's face, until they came to rest at his lips.

Oh lord have mercy.

Subconsciously, he felt himself kick his own lips, and if possible Kaden's breathing seemed to be becoming more laboured.

"Farren," Kaden breathed, breaking both the silence and Farren out of his trance.

He pushed himself off Kaden as fast as lightning​ and back to his own end.

Neither of the boys said anything for a moment, and Farren waited with bated breath for Kaden to snap at him. But he didn't.

He realised he was looking too much into it. While it felt like it could have been a week, their little.. moment.. was actually probably only three seconds long.

Kaden probably thought nothing of it. And why would he, to an outside observer it would have just looked like a slip.

"What fucking time is it anyway?" Kaden grumbled, succeeding once again in breaking the silence. Kaden also confirmed what Farren was thinking, he hadn't thought anything of the moment.

"Almost half four."

"Why the fuck were you on top of me at half four in the fucking morning?" Kaden asked in disbelief. God, this boy sure was fond of his curse words.

"I told you, I slipped." Farren responded, grateful for the darkness for concealing his blush.

At this stage the boys were both sat up facing each other, Farren leaning between the headboard and the wall, and Kaden leaning against the footboard.

It took Farren a lot of will to stop his eyes from drifting to Kaden's bare chest.

"I know you slipped, but why? What were you doing?"

"Going to get a drink of water." He answered truthfully.

"At four in the morning?" Kaden asked uneasily.

"Yes." He replied quietly.

"Farren?" Kaden asked with concern, this time speaking quite softly.

"Yes?"

"How long?"

"What?" Farren asked, playing dumb.

"You know what I mean Farren," Kaden sighed. "How long have you been awake?"

"All night." Farren admitted, knowing there was no point in lying.

"I thought you said things were improving?" Kaden asked, not seeming impressed.

"They are. Trust me. I've slept relatively well these past few days. This is probably the first completely sleepless night I've had so far this week."

Kaden looked at him with scepticism for a moment, before sighing in defeat. "And there's nothing you can do to help it?"

"Nothing that I haven't already tried."

Kaden gave him a piteous look. "I wish there was something I could do." He said sincerely.

Farren felt his stomach flip at how real Kaden was being. He had never seen him speak so sincerely since they met.

Farren gave Kaden a weak smile. "Me too." And with that the boys settled back down into the bed for the night, Farren turning on his side to face the wall where he stayed the rest of the night..

But had Farren looked over at Kaden any time during the night, he would have found that he wasn't the only one finding it particularly hard to sleep tonight.

XXXXX

The final bell of the day rang, signalling the end of the school week. Kaden slammed his locker shut, the loud noise slightly waking him up. He hadn't got much sleep the night before, for obvious reasons.

All he could say was that he was glad the weekend was upon him. He needed a break or his brain was going to implode.

"What time do you want me to pick you up for the party?"

Kaden looked up at the sound of Luke's voice.

"I don't care man, whatever time your going I suppose?"

"I'll drop you a text?" Luke suggested and Kaden nodded in reply. "Yah sure. Let me know when your on the way and I'll be ready."

Normally he would actually put some effort into how he looked, but tonight he just could not bring himself to actually give a shit.

After successfully dropping his books off into his locker, Kaden was finally ready to go. He followed Luke outside to the student car park and sat into the passenger seat.

"You know, I really should start charging you for this. I'm basically your own chauffeur," Luke commented as he sat into the driver's seat.

"Yeah, good luck with that," he retorted with a laugh. "I'm sure your mom would love to hear that you were charging me for lifts." He snorted, knowing full well Luke's mother would kill Luke for doing such a thing.

She always did have a soft spot for Kaden.

"True," Luke nodded in agreement. "I guess I'll have to suffer through these bills by myself." He sighed dramatically, earning him a laugh from Kaden.

He rested his life up on the dashboard, (much to Luke's protest). He closed his eyes, still exhausted from his late night.

God, how did Farren even function without sleep? One night without it and Kaden was fit to collapse.

He felt his face heat up when he thought about their little moment last night, but forced himself to push the thoughts out of his head. If he wanted to get over these stupid feelings, thinking about them was not the way to go.

So far this week he had been trying to distance himself from Farren, in the hopes of getting over his stupid little crush.

He sometimes found himself slipping, then forced himself to snap out of it.

Farren probably didn't even notice.

He forced himself to focus his thoughts on the party ahead, trying not to think of Farren.

But thinking about the party led his thoughts to the host, Clay. And thinking about Clay led his thoughts to Lee.

That was yet another problem he had to deal with at the moment.

Was he going to be there tonight? Kaden sort of hoped so, he needed to speak with him to clear things up.

Oh god, when did life get this complicated?

** A couple of hours later **

Kaden followed Luke into the grand looking house, not bothering to close the door behind him.

The party was in full swing, with drinks going everywhere, loud music playing, and a generally good time seen to be had.

He looked around the room, not realising that he was looking to see Farren until he spotted him. Leaning against the wall talking to a couple of guys and girls. He looked so fucking good, standing there all casual and shit.

God damnit.

Farren looked up, as if sensing his eyes. They made eye contact and Farren gave him a nod and a small smile, before turning his attention back to the conversation he was having.

Kaden left the foyer and entered the crowded sitting room alone. Jeez, they hadn't been here five minutes and Luke had already disappeared. Probably slutting it up with some girl.

He scanned the room for a moment looking for a place to sit, before ultimately deciding he would be better off in the garden, where the air didn't reek with horny teenagers and STDs waiting to happen.

He sat on a bench, pulling out his phone and scrolling through his Facebook feed.

"Is this seat taken?" A familiar voice asked from above.

He looked up to find Lee standing before him.

"Go ahead." He replied, motioning to the bench with his hand. He tried to keep a calm composure, though he was starting to freak out inside.

He put away his phone, turning his body slightly to face Lee, who mimicked his movements.

"Well.." Kaden began.

"Well." Lee replied.

"I presume you remember?" Kaden asked, hoping for an answer completely different to the one he knew he was going to get.

"Yeah.."

"Oh."

"Yeah." Replied Lee, "but don't worry, I'm not going to say anything to anyone. Your secret's safe with me." He smiled reassuringly.

Kaden could finally relax his shoulders. "Thanks." He smiled gratefully. "You too." He added in quickly as an afterthought.

"So it's safe to presume your still in the closet?" Lee asked him.

"I'm not even sure where I stand." He responded simply. "Are you on the closet?"

"I'm out to my family and a few close friends, but that's about it. Well, you too now I suppose." Lee shrugged in reply.

"Gay or bi or something different?"

"Gay. For sure. What about you?"

"I don't really know anymore."

"Can't figure it out?" Lee asked sympathetically.

"Something like that." Kaden replied with a sigh.

"Want me to help you?" Asked Lee.

Wait what.

He gave Lee a weirded out look, before realisation dawned on the other boy's face and he started blushing furiously. "No! I didn't mean it like that." He stuttered in embarrassment. "I just meant, do you want to talk about it. Maybe I can help you understand."

Oh. Kaden laughed. "Oh okay. I mean sure, why not. What have I got to lose at this stage."

Lee smiled weakly at him, the remnants of his blush still staining his face. "Go ahead." He said, with an encouraging smile.

Kaden cleared his throat before beginning. "So basically, growing up I always just presumed I was straight, I mean, so did most boys my age. But then, when I hit fourteen and fifteen, I started to question it. It's not that I was really into any of the guys I was friends with. I just wasn't into really into any of the girls, like my mates were." He began and Lee nodded encouragingly, urging him to continue.

"Then, when I was fifteen, I met this guy at my cousin's party and I thought he was the most attractive person I'd ever met before. I literally couldn't take my eyes off him all night." He recalled with a laugh, earning him a smile from Lee.

"So, fast forward to when in sixteen, seventeen. Looking back now, I realise that I knew I was into guys, but forced myself not to think it. I hooked up with a few girls, but it never really felt that good." He recalled, thinking this stuff all together for the first time himself.

"I pushed any possibility of me being gay out of my head, convinced myself that I just hadn't found the right girl, and carried on with my life. Until eventually, it just got to be too much, and I knew I had to go find out for myself. And I guess that's where you come into the story." He said, looking up at Lee with an awkward smile.

Lee smiled back. "I guess so."

"Anyways," Kaden continued. "So that night in the club, I pretty much came to terms with the fact that I like guys. But I presumed I was just slightly bisexual, because I had never actually had feelings for a boy. Until.."

He trailed off uncertainly. Was he sure he could trust Lee with the rest of this story.

It was almost as if Lee could read his mind. "You can trust me. I won't say anything to anyone, I promise." Lee assured him with a comforting smile.

Kaden nodded, taking a deep breath before continuing.

"Until I met Farren."

He could see surprise and realisation cross Lee's face, the finally sympathy. "He doesn't know?" He asked softly and Kaden shook his head no in reply.

"We live together at the moment. I'm sure you heard all about the football thing?" He asked Lee, who nodded to show he had.

"Anyways. I had never had feelings for a boy before this, so I presumed I was mostly straight, just turned on easily. But now.. now it's like I can't stop thinking about him. I really like him Lee, I really do. But he's straight, and I don't want to mess up this friendship we're building."

"And you've never had these feelings for a girl?" Lee asked.

"Never."

"Are you attracted to girls."

"I thought I was. Like, I find some of them good looking or whatever, but I've never been super into the whole boobs thing like the other guys. I always just presumed they were just extremely horny."

"I'm going to be honest Kaden. I think your gay.  But that's just my opinion, not the only answer. I know you say you can find girls good looking but anyone can find anyone good looking, regardless of sexual orientation."

"That's true." Kaden nodded in agreement.

"Yeah." Nodded Lee in agreement. "But that's not for me to decide, I'm just giving you my opinion."

Kaden nodded as Lee stood up to leave, giving Kaden some time to think that hinges through.

As he sat alone, he looked up at a small group of boys and girls standing next to the pool.

He looked at the two girls.

Did he find them attractive? Sure, they were both pretty.

Did the thought of hooking up with them turn him on? Not really.

He then looked at the boy who was talking with them.

Did he find him attractive? Yeah, for sure. He was hot as hell.

Would he have any interest in hooking up with him? He thought about it for a moment, but the answer seemed obvious. Yeah, if Farren wasn't in the picture then sure.

He sat back in the bench, groaning with his head on his hands.

Now that he had answered that question, he just had one thing left to solve.

How the fuck didn't he know it before?

How did he stop himself from realising it all those years?

He was undeniably, irrefutably, unquestionably, so fucking gay.

XXXXX

;) ;) ;)

He's finally after figuring it out!!

Two updates in the space of 10 hours? I'm on a roll!

Hope ye enjoyed!!

Qotc: Thoughts on Lee?

Aotc; I don't even know TBH and he's my own character lololol

Love ye all!!

-A