Chapter Thirteen

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Sinking

So sick of thinking

Of all the things you need from me

Who you think that I should be

Itching

To feel you with me

But I can't do that to myself

Touch so soft but where's the kill?

Chapter Thirteen – Blue the Bird

Nephele's POV

It had been two days since I last spoke to Lucifer. Two days too short in my opinion but that did not matter since I was still locked up in the room, not that I had tried to get out by opening the door. Lucifer had not been by in those two days, not that I personally cared about his presence. After he was throwing a toddler tantrum about the door being un-openable to him, he had not tried to open it again.

That did not stop him from passing my door a couple of times every few hours. I could feel him waiting there; his eyes on the door as though he could see straight through it and look at me. He would sometimes talk, but I never answered his calls. I never responded to anyone, they were not going to help me and therefore I did not care about who they are and what they are doing here.

But I did not mind; it meant I could just relax for once in my life. I was using this time to read books and get to know the little blue bird who had also grown remarkably over the last two days. I named her Blue after her colour dumbly but she was still named Blue. She didn't seem to mind regardless. And to what gender I specified her as, she seemed to like female the best which was strange, why would you want to be a female? If I could be another sex, anything but female I would; it means I wouldn't have to deal with the monthly friend most females get.

However, that was up for my little Blue to decide.

I lie on my back, the black sheets crumpled behind me as my stomach grumbles. Unfortunately, I only receive food four times a day in meals, four being better than three but not enough when you are incredibly bored and have to feed a two-legged growing bird. I had access to Netflix and HBO through the television that sits on the wall opposite the bed, something I found out two days ago. To be honest, I had not even read half a book since I was here. There were two books on the bed-side-table that I was given; surprisingly they were both of the genre I do enjoy reading, but I just couldn't read. I found myself blindly reading the pages instead of investing myself into the story line and the world the characters live in.

Therefore, I had finished all the TV shows on Netflix and HBO I was, before I got here, I mean, watching. There was a good few but then I went out of my comfort zone and watched another TV series which had left me in tears, but we don't speak of that anymore.

As I stare at the roof in boredom, I feel the soft feathers of Blue ruffle against my arm. Then I feel the nip of her beak snap against the flesh of my arm. I yelp and jump up, bringing my arm to my chest as the watermelon sized bird sits up and stares at me with beady eyes. I glare at her and softly rub my arm, looking to make sure I am not bleeding from the attack.

"That was just rude Blue, but we are hungry, aren't we?" I ask, as if the bird was going to answer my question. The bird looks at me, without moving her head so I take that as a yes, mainly because I am hungry and she just bite me.

I sigh, feeling extremely lazy as I sit up and stretch my arms out in front of me, waiting until I hear my shoulders pop. I push myself to the edge of the bed and as soon as my feet touch the floor I am up and standing. I hum as I stretch my legs, standing on my tippy toes as my muscles burn with the effort of movement. I smile as I see Blue jumping like the mad bird she is. Reaching down towards her, I scoop her up in my palms and place her in my arms, similar to how a parent or family member would hold a baby.

I look down as she makes herself comfortable for the trip out of the room, that is if we can even get out. The room in the past couple of days hasn't been cold like it was when Lucifer and I were 'talking', which was strange.

I walk over to the door timidly, afraid as though it will fall off its hinges like Lucifer was threatening it to do two days ago. I reach for the brass knob as I juggle Blue in my arms, the cool brass turning in my palm. I almost gasp in shock as the door actually opens, it swinging past my body as I dodged it.

I was thinking it wasn't going to open, like it didn't the other day. I was thinking Lucifer had locked me in my room, like a toddler, but it appears I had just been refined to his 'quarters'. Although I haven't tested that theory as of currently, so therefore maybe I was able to escape his area of the castle and move.

I smile to myself and do a little dance on my feet before sticking my head through the door, looking down the hall both ways. Once I double check that it is clear, with Blue letting out a small 'squawk' as well, I make my way down the hall to the right, somehow remembering the way into the kitchen. Right then left, and I should be alright.

I hope.

I tippy-toe down the hall making sure to not make too much sound so I can hear if someone is approaching. I had made it around ten metres before I found the corner to which I was meant to turn into to enter the kitchen. I smile too myself, a big smile as I was about to successfully make it into the kitchen without being detected by Lucifer super demony-senses.

I hear a small squawk from my shoulder and I turn my head, squinting my eyes at the bird that sits on my shoulder. I mutter a 'be quiet' under my breath because if she was to squawk again but louder, we would be caught for sure, and I want ice-cream so that was not an option. I screw up my nose at Blue when she looks at me funnily, before I continue on my path into the kitchen. I rush through the open archway which was where a couple of nights ago, Lucifer and I had eaten together. It felt weird being here now. I remember the memory of us doing the mundane act of washing and drying the dishes together, something which had caused me to have a panic attack because my mind got the better of me again. It was something so simple, yet the thought of doing such a mundane thing in a situation like this was enough to push me over the edge; it made me feel stuck and helpless.

Much like I felt at the moment, except now I understood more and I knew to expect the unexpectable; which did include the Divine. I inhale a sharp breath as I pass under the archway, peaking my head around the corner to make sure no one else was in the open-planned living room slash dining area. It was for the best that we were alone, therefore Blue wouldn't get too scared.

I smile to myself again when I find it is empty and practically skip over to the kitchen in glee. I scoop the bird away from my shoulder with the palm of my hand and place her gently on the kitchen top, in the corner making sure she doesn't move as placing her on the bench was unhygienic and I don't want Mr. Devil to have a toddler tantrum because Blue had been on his precious stone top kitchen counter.

I turn away from Blue, giving her one last stern look as if to say 'stay' and face the freezer on the bottom of the double doored fridge. It was a considerably large fridge, compared to others I have seen. Angie and I had never had anything extravagant other than her car, but that was her parents' gift and we had, or I had persistently asked for the apartment to be normal for people our age. Meaning I didn't want anything over the top or too pricey, just nice. I did not want the seven-thousand-dollar fridge when we could have a perfect conditioned one that was just smaller at two-thousand dollars.

I did love those luxuries in life, I wanted to be financially stable enough to afford that when I was older, but having it at such a young age was just, wrong. I wanted to get these things through my hard work and only my work, I wanted it to be for myself; by myself.

I shake my head away from the thought and open the freezer, searching roughly through the cold icy area in search for the holy grail. Or Nephele's holy grail; cookie dough ice cream.

Except I didn't find it, however instead I found the second-best thing; Mint Choc-Chip. I smile a cashmere smile as I pull the icy tub of goodness from the freezer, closing the door and plopping the tub on the bench as fast as I can.

I did prefer the cold undoubtedly; I hated too much heat. Don't get me wrong, I'd loved going to Tahiti or the Maldives, although I have never been, that weather I would not mind. However, I found myself more comfortable when it was cold outside and the weather was grey, or white. Regardless, I found the cold easier to survive in, and I was also a cold-blooded person, meaning I was always cold.

Always. Or well apart from when it was too hot outside.

Despite my wondering mine, I continued to eat the ice cream greedily. I did give a little spoonful to Blue as she nudged me when I started eating but I did not want to give her too much as I knew junk food was not good for birds, or at least it was not good for dogs so it could not be healthy for birds either. I did however cut up some fruit for little Blue.

I finely chopped up a whole apple and placed it on a white tissue in front of Blue's feet. She looked at it cautiously for a few seconds, cocking her head to the side before, what I would describe as nipping, at the fruit. This all happened whilst I ate the tub of ice-cream sitting cross legged on the kitchen top. All while knowing if I was found in here sitting like this I would most likely be told off because it was 'inappropriate' and 'un-ladylike'. I can only imagine Lucifer's face if he did find us here.

I sigh solemnly and stab the slab of ice-cream with the spoon, placing the tub on the bench next to my sock covered feet and turn my head towards the windows. The scenery here was the same as the last time I came here; the pale green grass and rolling hills showing fields upon fields. An almost clear blue sky with the sun shining brightly above. This had me questioning a lot of things once more. Like how there was a sun here yet over by my room, the sky was either a deep red or dark orange, it being light enough to see but not as light as when the sun was out. However over in this area of the castle, the sun was out and there were clouds, which should not be possible as clouds are formed by water particles and in Hell there should be no water.

This amount of loop-holes in this place was giving me a headache. I just could not comprehend any of this, no matter what I thought about this deep down.

I close my eyes, taking a deep breath through my nose. I open my eyes again, noticing Blue looking at me funnily before going back and picking at her food. I smile softly at the bird, longing for myself to be free once again but I know that isn't an option anymore.

The last time I left I felt as though I nearly died, these people are after me and there is nothing my mundane self can do about that. I now apparently had to stay here because Lucifer was 'trying to keep me safe', as though it was my fault, I was in trouble to begin with. It may have been when I tried to escape, I admit that but if I was not taken here, if I was not kidnapped then I would not be in this situation.

Regardless of these otherworldly beings that are after me, I have no answer to why I am here. I have not been given a valid explanation by anyone. I only got some vague answers from the Devil himself, but those are not useful.

I bite my lip as I brought back to the present by insistent yelling. Blue flies into my lap in a quick jump and I jump in surprise. She buries her face into my arm and furrows her feathers, making herself seem bigger than she is. In my turn, I furrow my eyebrows at the little bird, wondering what she was doing.

I ignore the distant yelling and pick the ice-cream tub back up, balancing it in between my upper arm and lower arm, it resting on my elbow as I dig into the soft, heaven tasting food once more. I smile to myself.

It was only when I saw two people emerge from around the corner that leads to the exit of this area. I turn my head slowly, as if being caught in the act of doing something, although I know I haven't done anything wrong.

There, about three metres away, stands a petite looking Lilith who is looking at me with a surprised gaze, her eyes directly on the little blue bundle of feathers in my lap. The man, who I just noticed, standing next to her with his hand appearing to be on the small of her back. I furrow my eyebrows at where his hand sits but meet his eyes once more as he stares at me with intrigue. I purse my lips at both their actions, huffing as I take another spoonful of ice-cream.

"What do you guys want and who are you?" I ask after finishing my mouth full. I look over to them with an expectant arched brow, wondering why they are out somehow out of breath and looking at me as though I was dangerous.

"Lucifer, we've found it!" The man all but screams. I gasp and jump u from my position, rushing around the bench to put the distance of the whole bench between us. I totally ignore whatever the man said after he uttered the name, deciding in the moment it was not important at this moment in time.

"No, no, do not call him!" I whisper shout at the two who now both stare at me expectantly, so the Devil could not here. Blue is still in my arms but lets out a small squawk at my words to which the pair of people in front of me jump. I look at them strangely, wondering what was their problem with the little harmless bird but I do not bring it up.

I scowl when flurry of footsteps echoes through the hall, internally screaming in annoyance as Lucifer appears in a rush, now standing directly in front of Lilith and her fuck-buddy.

I watch intently as Lucifer looks at the bundle of feathers in my arms, his own scowl appearing on his lips as his eyes meet mine.

"Nephele, hand over that thing." His voice was soft when he said my name however changes when his eyes land on Blue once more. His arm was outstretched towards me but I hold Blue closer to me, shaking my head and staring down at the innocent bird.

"No, she is my friend." I say back, glaring at him and muttering an 'unlike you' under my breath, hoping he cannot hear.

"Fucking great, they've bonded." I hear him mutter under his breath, not doing a good job at containing it.

"My love, we can do this easy way or the hard way. Either way I get the phoenix." He says directly to me, his voice a deadly calm. My eyes widen as I look down at Blue in surprise. She was a phoenix?

All I knew about them was that they were red and had the power of fire and that they were very old. However, Blue wasn't red, fiery nor was looking very old. Her beady eyes look at me in expectation, as though she knew what she was. Her eyes shimmered under the kitchen light and I pursed my lips.

Lucifer and his friend were acting as though this bird was dangerous, but she had not hurt me as of yet. In fact, Lucifer had hurt me more in the past two days than she had. She was comforting and quiet, and loved the drama romance TV shows we had been watching together. I did not understand their concern.

"What do you mean? Blue is harmless." I answer his demand, but I knew what was going to happen. He was going to take another thing away from me.

"Little Cloud," he tries to bargain by adding another pet name to me, as though I was his lap dog. I screw my nose up at the thought, how dare he treat me as such. "She has killed thousands upon thousands of people, mundane and gods alike, she recks havoc upon those who cross her. She is dangerous." His voice grows deeper, as though he was angry at me but I knew better than to give into his manipulative words. I was not going to give Blue, my only friend so far up.

"No." I reply. "She has treated me better than any of you at the moment, save for Lilith. All you have done is hurt me and keep me locked up. So no, I will not give her up. Unlike you, she actually tries to help me." I angrily let out, frustrated at Lucifer.

He will not take her away this time.

I hear him sigh, Lucifer raising his hand up to his forehead as he pinches the bridge of his nose. I bit my lip, awaiting his next move.

"You asked for this, love." He mutters a few seconds later, turning two the two individuals behind him and nodding his head. I look Lilith dead in the eye, her eyes showing a sorrowful gaze as she nods back. I almost see her lips form an apology but I do not take that to mind.

Within a second, two arms are wrapped around one of mine on each side, the arms holding my own behind my back making it impossible for me to move. I scream as they touch me at first, their impact making my body ache as they moved with such speed to hold me in place. Blue drops from my arms and flutters to the floor elegantly, her little wings beating as if she is learning how to fly.

Lilith and the man hold me tightly, one of them hold each arm as though I would break through with any movement.

I struggle in their hold, my body moving so I am pushing forward in the opposite way from what they were holding me. I struggle effortlessly, as their hold tightens on me, so hard that I can feel my skin bruising. The pain was a lot, my arms being constricted giving a rather painful feeling as the blood stops flowing to my fingers.

"Stop." I groan out in a half yell. I look Lucifer in the eye as he stands there, his eyes meeting my own in a sorrowful gaze. "Stop!" I scream in agony as the hold once again tightens as I move against their hold, push away with every ounce of force I can muster. I feel my arms bending at unnatural and harsh angles, making me almost scream out in pain as I bite my lip to keep it in. I feel tears well up in my eyes, a feeling of weakness and vulnerability making it a lot worse.

I felt so weak, so little in the moment.

I felt pathetic.

"Did I say hurt her?" His voice was harsh and cold, as if he was restraining himself. I look at him in disbelief as their holds loosen a little but not enough for me to escape.

Lucifer takes a step forward, towards me. He continues to do that before there is only Blue between us. I watch helplessly, my white tee shirt exposing my shoulder as my hair falls aimlessly out of the high messy pony tail I had put it in to keep it out of my food. A piece falls onto my right cheek as I continue to stare at him, pain clear in my eyes as I fell the world deepen around us so that all I can see is him.

I watch him as his hand comes up to my left cheek, almost sweetly. He cups my cheek in his right hand, the pad of his thumb gently stroking under my left eye as a tear that I didn't notice I had escapes. His eyes hold a lover's sadness, as though he could feel their pain, but I doubt he could. He leans forward almost instinctively as though he was meant to be doing this. His lips touch me for head delicately, his kiss landing upon the space between my eyebrows. His touch was warm and I almost instantly stop moving, as though he put me in a trance. For once, I did not protest against him, although now I could not feel the people holding me.

"It is the best mea amare, trust me." I look at him confused; drawn into the world he had just created for me. A world that was not reality.

I snap out of it as his hand leaves my cheek, my dazed self-starting to struggle again as with the move of his fingers, the bird is being contained within a thin, shimmering, see through box like void to which Blue cannot escape. Blue bounced against the walls of the box, the walls shimmering a rainbow-like pattern, as though they were a softer form of glass.

I struggle even more in Lilith and her toy's hold, needing to escape to help Blue. I push and shove around, moving so I can escape as Lucifer continues to hold my eyes as though he was trying to trance me into his world once more. Except this time, I shove as his grip on my mind, finally able to feel him inside my mind, this time I could feel him looking at what I was think; I could feel him there. And I didn't like.

I feel my body become cold, the icy blue aura surrounding me and washing over me in waves, as though it was emitting from me but that was impossible. I feel the hold on my arms tighten once more and I turn my head, glaring at Lilith as she gives me a look of sorrow. I don't need her pity.

I just need my freedom.

The pain in my arms grows unbearable once more, the pain in my head not helping either. I was fine when I was alone, with my ice cream and blue, but now my head aches intensely and it is hard to breathe.

This is what occurred last time, when I was back in my world. This is how it happened.

"Nephele." Lucifer's voice was soft, almost caring. I looked up at him in confusion, wondering what was happening to me.

"Wh-what is happening?" I freak out, my voice rising in panic as Blue's squawks grow louder and louder. I hear her rushing around in her cage, her body hitting the wall with every attempt to escape.

"Amare, calm down." Lucifer calls to me in a strained voice, as he starts making his way to me again. I was confused at his words. I was beginning to grow tired as well, my eyes fluttering shut as a demonic voice erupted from in front of me. "Let go of her now."

I look up dazed and startled at once by the new voice, only to find Lucifer standing there, alone; the same blackened eyes staring at me, as though he was staring into my soul. The way his eyes were trained on me made a shiver run down my spine. His eyes were cold and dark, a deep anger behind the swirling obsidian.

My arms are unrestrained suddenly, making me fall on my knees exhausted. On my knees, I look over to Blue, who was fluttering around her cage, except she didn't fit her cage anymore. She was growing with every moment as I looked at her which had me confused. But the confusion on my brain was because of my tiredness which was also sudden.

Lucifer was by my side within seconds which I found strange. I watch Lucifer exhaustedly, my body growing weak which only made me bewildered. Lucifer looked down at me a I crumpled into his side, myself with any physical strength I could muster, pushed away from him and tried to struggle away from him hold yet he was not letting me go. His hand was stroking my hair softly as the cold begun to seep into my skin.

The windows shattered, collapsing in on us as it rained glass.

Everybody but Lucifer and I ran for cover as he stood over my about to sleep form, his eyes changing to a deep stormy blue as he the world fades around us, morphing into a new one within milli-seconds.

And so that's how I feel into the darkness, myself in Lucifer's arms with Blue squawking like mad in her containment box, and chaos, utter chaos breaking out around us.

Hope you all enjoyed this chapter! Word count was over 4000 words which I am very proud of if I do say so myself.

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