40. universe

CHAPTER FORTY

UNIVERSE

—

"D, put your back into it, lift those boxes! Lift, lift!"

Rolling his eyes in Eden's direction, Dmitri bent down to pick up another cardboard box, this one with the word CLOTHES etched onto it, as if the previous two boxes weren't clothes too.

"Maybe you could help?" he questioned, only jokingly because he was doing absolutely everything in his power not to cry, even though he knew that by the time they were done loading all the boxes into Trinh's car, he would definitely end up bawling.

Eden shrugged, taking a small sip of her coffee. "I'm sayin' my goodbyes to the house," she defended as her fingers stroked Juno, who was seated on her thighs. "Besides, my uterus hurts, you can do it yourself! Well, you and Trinh. And Tariq— wait, where the fuck is Tariq?"

"Here!" Tariq yelled out from Dmitri's room, poking his head out of it and grinning at the both of them, giving Dmitri a wider one. Fuck yeah! "It's wild how you have so much shit in a room that isn't even yours. Why the fuck do you have your whole ass skin care routine in here?"

"'Cause I like Dmitri's room, and he's a needy bitch who likes sleepin' with me in his bed," Eden muttered.

She wasn't entirely wrong, but Dmitri wasn't about to admit that, because he knew that if he did, he would end up thinking about the fact that Eden was actually leaving, and that the house was going to be so fucking empty without her, and that she was leaving.

Then, he would start crying, and he definitely didn't want that.

More than the sadness of Eden leaving, though, there was a strange sense of peace. Not because she was the most chaotic person he knew and not because the house would be quieter without her, but because he knew that she was happy.

He could tell, right from the blatant twinkle in her eyes to the way she was talking to Trinh every time they came into the house to take the boxes from Dmitri.

And seeing Eden happy always made him happy.

Seeing anyone he loved happy always made him happy, which was why when Tariq made his way over to Dmitri and planted a small peck square on his mouth, before letting out a laugh and pulling away, Dmitri was over the fucking moon.

"What the fuck was that for?" Dmitri asked, letting out a laugh of his own. "Not that I'm complaining. Definitely not complaining."

"Oh, y'all gay gay..." Eden mumbled, probably to herself but Dmitri heard it, her voice too loud for anyone to not catch it, including Juno who just purred and buried her face into Eden's stomach.

Tariq huffed, handing Dmitri a box, who in turn, handed it to Trinh. "Am I not allowed to kiss you?"

Technically, they weren't together. So, in theory, he wouldn't have been allowed to kiss him. But then again, they were never really people who dealt with technicalities, so all Dmitri said was, "You can kiss me whenever the fuck you want."

Before Tariq could even open his mouth to reply, Trinh was the next person to say, "Jesus Christ, y'all are so gay."

Dmitri just rolled his eyes, handing them the box in his hands and going to take a seat on the couch since they were mostly done with packing Eden's things, save for the few spare things that she said she would come back later to collect.

Without Eden's things, the house looked so bare. Empty.

Dmitri was never one for decorating the house and making it look like it was his living space too, considering he hadn't seen himself living past twenty three, so now, the house was completely void of any sort of personality that it once had.

So much had changed since the time he moved in. He actually wanted to live now, and after so, so long of being unhappy with himself, with the way he was living, with the fact that he was living, he was happy. With himself. With the people in his life, with his job, with his financial situation, his religion.

"Hey, Eden?"

Thick eyebrows furrowing together, Eden shifted her attention from Juno in front of her to Dmitri, before saying, "Yeah?"

Using each other's entire first names was always rare for them, so whenever they did use it, they knew that it meant that something serious was happening.

And apparently, Tariq knew too, and before Dmitri knew it, he was heading out of the house to go talk to Trinh, probably to help them load the boxes into the car.

"I..." he began, but he couldn't go further, words mixing with the choked up sobs at the back of his throat, ones that were threatening to rip from it. "I love you so much."

Eden frowned, the sadness evident in her eyes, in her voice when she said, "Yeah. I know. I love you, Dmitri."

Shaking his head, Dmitri looked into her eyes, blinking harshly like that would stop the tears from falling. Of course, it didn't, and soon enough, tears were streaming from his eyes.

Fuck. Oh god. "Didn't wanna cry," he mumbled, a weak laugh escaping from his mouth. "I'm gonna miss you so much, E. You have no idea. Like, I know that we're gonna see each other super often, but you've made my life so much better. Having you in my life has to be one of the best things to happen to me."

"Hey, D, come on, it's—"

"Like, I know that you're really iffy about the God thing, but I just know that you're a literal blessing from God, because you're such a gem," he rambled, hastily wiping at his eyes, but the tears weren't stopping.

Still, he needed to say this, so he just continued. "I was at a really weak point in my life when you let me be your roommate, and you didn't have to deal with a lot of my shit, but you did and I love you so much for it. I'm gonna— fuck, I can't stop crying— I'm gonna miss you so much. So, so much, you have no idea. I don't know what I did to deserve you, but I must've done something fucking incredible, because you're so fucking great."

He wasn't done, wasn't even close to being done, but he decided to let Eden speak for a moment, since his throat was beginning to close up from the violence of his sobs.

And she did speak, by saying, "Fuck you," and choking out a small laugh as she placed Juno on the ground, resting her head on Dmitri's chest and squeezing his body tight.

"Fuck you, too," Dmitri mumbled in response, placing his lips on the top of her head, right at the point between her forehead and the start of her hair. "I love you so much. I'm gonna miss you more than you know."

"You're the best roommate that I've ever had, D." Taking her head off his chest for a moment, she glanced up at him through teary eyes. "I know that you don't think so, but you've helped me just as much as I've helped you. I love you."

If anyone else was watching, Dmitri knew that they would've thought that they were being dramatic or too sensitive, too emotional.

But Eden had gotten him through so much. She had spent whole nights awake just to talk to him and distract him from his own thoughts, she had cooked meals for days on end, even when it had been his turn to cook for the two of them, and not once had she gotten upset over any of it.

She was an absolute angel.

"Yeah," he mumbled, swiping off the rest of the tears that were threatening to leave his eyes. "We're good. We haven't been crying, nope, not us."

Eden just let out a weak laugh, pressing her head further into Dmitri's chest. "We'll call those two back inside in a little bit."

Huh? "Why?"

Smiling, she squeezed his body tighter, letting out a small hum. "Wanna sit with you for a moment. That's all."

So, that was what they did, for a whole twelve minutes, until Trinh re-entered the room, eyes instantly falling on the couch.

They were quiet for a second, when finally, they said, "She cried?"

Dmitri nodded as he placed his lips on top of her head again, letting it linger there for a second. "Mhm."

"And you cried too?"

Well. "Can you blame me?" he asked, pushing himself off the couch and pulling Eden up with him, her hiss in his direction letting him know that she was back to her normal self.

Trinh shrugged, picking up the last of the boxes and holding it in their hands. "Guess not." Then, they glanced at Eden. "You ready to leave?" they asked, voice softer, it always got softer around Eden, like the two of them were always in on a secret that no one else was aware of.

The two of them were so perfect for each other, and Dmitri couldn't have been happier that Eden was going to spend the rest of her life with Trinh.

"Yeah," she mumbled, but her eyes were happy, now. And Dmitri just knew that even though she was upset to leave, she was happy, more than anything.

Because she was about to spend the rest of her life living with the person she was in love with, and Dmitri would have given anything to be able to do the same.

As they made their way out of the house, Eden turned around, taking one last look at it before looking back at Dmitri and smiling, a real smile this time, not a weak one.

"I'll— we'll see you guys soon," she said, kissing Dmitri's right cheek, and then, his left one. Shooting Tariq a tiny smile, she gave the both of them a wave, stepping into the car.

And before Dmitri knew it, she was gone.

Fuck, did it ache.

"You can cry, you know."

Head snapping around to face Tariq, Dmitri pursed his lips and shook his head. "I already did. I don't wanna cry again, that's ridiculous."

Tariq laughed softly, shaking his head, dark hair falling in front of his equally dark eyes, both looking a lot more brown, a lot less black in the sunlight.

"I know. And you can cry some more, if you want," Tariq offered, giving Dmitri a smile. And Dmitri didn't know why, or maybe he did, but the weight in his chest lessened, his throat's airway clearing up. "I know that this shit is hard. I get it. And it's okay if you wanna spend the rest of the day at home, we can—"

"Can we hang out? Outside, if you're up for it?" Dmitri asked all at once, earning a small smile from Tariq. I'm so in love. "You're the only person who can— who feels like good things, and I want to feel good things right now."

Smile turning into a grin, Tariq snorted, and at once, Dmitri knew what was about to come out of his mouth.

"You want to feel me?"

Called it. "Shut the fuck up," he muttered, but he couldn't even stop the smile from spreading across his own lips.

Tariq just knew how to do that. It was one thing to make him smile when he was done, but it was something else to make him smile even wider when he was already smiling.

"Yes, Dmitri," Tariq laughed out, lacing their fingers together. "We can hang out. Outside, since I'm up for it."

That was when Dmitri's smile got even wider.

"I love you."

Tariq smiled, glancing up at him. "I love you," he said in response, not adding the too, because he knew exactly how Dmitri felt about that.

He knew that Dmitri always thought that adding the word too felt conditional, like the person was forced into saying it.

He knew everything there was to know about Dmitri, and typically, Dmitri would have been scared, but now, he was just happy.

I'm happy. Holy fuck, it feels so nice to be happy.

Stepping into the car with Tariq, Dmitri began to drive, and he didn't even know where he was driving, didn't know the end location, but he knew that he was so unbelievably in love with Tariq.

And that feeling was just intensified when Tariq said, "Hey, Dmitri, I painted this thing for you the other day, lemme show you," and proceeded to scroll through his phone, searching for the picture of the painting.

Somehow, Dmitri had ended up driving to the same restaurant that the two of them had gone to on the day that Tariq had accompanied him to therapy for the second time.

"Hey, this is—"

"Don't ask why I brought us here, I just like the vibes."

Tariq laughed a throaty chuckle, a genuine one as he stepped out of the car, making his way into the restaurant and taking a seat in the exact same place where they always sat.

Everything was so familiar. But so different. Because this time, the love felt different, and holy fuck, did it feel good. Different was good.

"Do you wanna meet my parents soon?" Tariq questioned once they were seated, not even bothering to flip through the menu. "Like, as my boyfriend."

Then, Dmitri paused.

Oh my god. Holy fuck. Oh my fucking—

"Ignore that, that was— okay, no, I shouldn't have said—"

"As your what?" Dmitri interrupted, voice coming out way more hoarse than he expected it to.

Boyfriend. Boyfriend. Tariq. As my boyfriend.

Frankly, he wasn't scared. He loved Tariq so much, and he knew just how much having a label on whatever they were doing right now meant to Tariq. And if 'boyfriends' was the label he wanted to go by, then Dmitri couldn't disagree. He didn't want to disagree.

Breathing out a slow sigh, Tariq's lips quirked upward into a tiny smile. "I want to spend the rest of my life with you, Dmitri."

"What?"

Holy fuck, his mind was overhwhelmed in the best way possible.

Tariq smiled, wider this time. "I love you so much. I want this to be it," he said softly, but his words couldn't have been any louder. "I want to be with you, and trust me when I say that I'm not going to be the easiest to date, especially because of my trust issues and everything, but I'm working on it. And I want to work on it with you. And I want to be with you, and I want to be able to love you, and call you my boyfriend, and introduce you to my parents as my boyfriend."

When Dmitri didn't say anything, couldn't say anything, Tariq took that as his opportunity to continue with a laugh and a small, "I want to try again. With you. I want to do everything right with you, and I know that we can, because holy fuck, Dmitri, I've never loved you more. So... Do you?"

"Do I what?" Dmitri asked, or whispered, more like. Holy shit.

"Do you want to try again?"

The universe drew in a breath, watching, waiting for Dmitri to make the next move.

He took one look at Tariq. Just one look at everything.

At his smile that was so lopsided but so unfairly attractive, at his eyes that were always a little red-rimmed from a cold, his lips, holy shit, his lips that did wonders, told stories that only sounded interesting when they were coming from him, lips that kissed him under quilted blankets until his only thought was Tariq, Tariq, Tariq, at his slightly too big for his body hands, at his jaw that was still marked with their kisses from the previous day, his everything.

Most importantly, at his familiarity. His warmth.

There was no question about it. He wanted to spend the rest of his life with Tariq.

"Yeah," Dmitri breathed, a smile breaking out onto his lips. "We'll try again."

Then, the universe exhaled.

—

fin.

+2705

AN: we're done !!

it's the 31st of december here, and it's so, so wild to me that this book is officially over. when i tell u i cried over this book LITERALLY every week,,,,,

easily one of the hardest books i've ever had to write, but i'm so glad i kept writing it <3 i 100% wouldn't have done it if y'all hadn't supported it as much as u did, so thank u so much. words can't even begin to explain how thankful i am💓

thank you ALL for reading, i appreciate u all so much❤️❤️

my playlist for this book is linked in my bio so go check it out if u haven't hehe😎

again, thank u all SO much💓 ily all💞

120,600+ words in total :")❤️