15 | gravity

WYATT FELT THE beginnings of what would be a full-on breakdown, something he hadn’t experienced since the first months of his parents’ divorce, and steadied himself by looking up to notice that somewhere in Wesley’s story; the sky had transitioned from its dusky hue to a blanket of darkness dotted with pinpricks of light.

New York’s night life had not even begun and yet the streets outside  rang with noise: cars honking as loud music played from stereos somewhere far-off, but in their little corner of the world things remained silent, and he thought about gravity.

It kept the earth in constant orbit of the sun, pulled objects with mass towards each other, kept things rooted to the ground, and he wondered if, against all odds, someone discovered the mathematical formula for love, it would in some way be derived from those of gravity, mass, and maybe even probability.

Because he had felt a pull he couldn’t explain, and now pieces of himself dragged to the ground in ways that left him gutted.

Wyatt wasn’t sad or angry, but he knew he had to leave because it was only a matter of time before his emotional kick started and he said something he couldn’t take back, like he had with Tobi―who had been right all along.

“Thanks for your, um, honesty,” he said, nodding dazedly as he turned towards the entrance into the restaurant’s kitchen, which would lead into the customers area, and then outside. Freedom.

“You’re welcome,” Wesley murmured, watching his departure through heavy-lidded eyes but making no attempt to stop him.

His eyes pricked with unshed tears as he ignored the curious stares the kitchen staff threw his way and walked until he stood at the entrance. He stopped; mind turning into a reel that tortured him with memories of late nights spent texting, which led to snippy mornings and sometimes having to nap in the school infirmary.

It struck him that he wanted to cry but there would be time for that, and letting Wesley get away with treating him the way he had―feeding him his tortured life story, then saying he’d never felt the same way about him and had no intentions of falling in love with him―was out of the question.

What had he done? Said Thank you, and left with his tail tucked between his legs to head home and cry into his pillow, eat popcorn, FaceTime his sister  to rant about a guy he hadn’t even told her about for fear that putting words to what they were would jinx things, while he proclaimed that men were scum. How stupid could he get?

Well, things were broken and they would never go back to what they were. He would just make sure of that.

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Wesley was pulled from his thoughts by the sound of approaching footsteps and looked up, venomous words ready as he anticipated Destiny’s arrival but was struck dumb when he was greeted by the sight of Wyatt, whose face was now an unreadable mask.

He opened his mouth―to apologize or tell him he needed space―but was interrupted by the cruel frown which slowly made its way across the other boy’s face, an unfamiliar expression. He felt dread course through him.

“I guess this is it then,” he began, eyes shining with tears that threatened to roll down his face. Wesley felt physical pain at the idea of being the one who'd caused it, and fought against an impulse to say he was sorry and hadn’t meant what he said.

“And I understand,” Wyatt continued heedlessly. “But let me just get this off my chest, and I’ll be on my way. I’ve been through this before―seven times including you, actually. I’ve had guys toss me, and hit me, and hurt me because I was stupid enough to let them. But you’re out of luck man, because with you I’m biting back.

I feel sorry for you, I swear I do. I feel sorry that you had to go through all those things so young, and I feel terrible about your ear. Worst because you never told me and I never noticed, but even more so because barely twenty-four hours ago we were kissing and I really thought things were changing. But I read the signals wrong. And maybe we’re made for each other, maybe I’m just not enough, maybe I wanted too much and we both fucked shit up. But this is not about me. Oh no, it’s about you.”

Wesley felt his jaw drop open as Wyatt hurled criticism after criticism at him which all hit their intended marks as they stuck true, and he watched the other boy break him down into smaller bits until he couldn’t take it anymore.

“Stop,” he murmured quietly, but Wyatt was too far gone to notice that he had begun to shake.

“I said stop, please,” he added this time, loudly.

“And I know it’s my fault I let you think things were a certain way when they weren’t―”

“I said STOP!” he roared, getting up and watching Wyatt jerk away from him violently. “I swear to God, say another fucking word and I’ll mess you up bad.”

Wesley felt like something in him had been set on fire and ached to punch something, draw blood even, and as for Wyatt, his self-control finally gave out and the tears came down in earnest even as he tried to hold them down.

There were many ways to return a love you didn’t want back and end a budding-romance. Quiet ways, loud ones too. If you looked closely though, you would find that tears featured greatly in most of them.

“Is everything alright?” A deep voice said and both boys turned to find the manager, who looked between them skeptically. Somehow Wesley knew his job would not survive this onslaught, and it was this realization that had him come to his senses.

He had just threatened to hurt Wyatt.

“Hey, Carter,” he began, but the other boy had turned away.

“Yeah everything’s alright,” he said breezily, wiping at his face to clear away the tears. “I was just leaving, actually.”

He shouldered his backpack and started to move, and Wesley caught him by the elbow but he shrugged him off violently and tilted his head back so their eyes met.

“I’m really sorry about the way your life’s gone Wesley, and you taught me things that I’m grateful for. But you’ve ruined things for yourself, and I hope you decide to stop punishing yourself one day.”

Wesley watched him walk away but remained motionless, even when the manager announced that he was fired.

A wheezing sound had begun from the ear he couldn’t hear out of and the night sky had begun to close up on him.

He flinched.