Chapter Thirteen - Part Two

But stubbornly, I gazed out of the window a while longer, to the dark buildings and the peaceful street beyond. The serenity of the scene was such a sharp, awkward contrast to the emotions that dwelled within me. It was calming, pacific, and exactly what I needed.

"I like it here, on this street." I said finally, a few minutes later, while still gazing, dreamily from the window. Shoppers would pass by every so often, but not enough to support any sort of traffic, which kept this certain patch of Harbor Village quiet. Beautiful, deep green trees dotted every street corner of the shops, swaying gently in the pleasant breeze. And if I closed my eyes and sucked in deep enough, I could smell them enough to imagine their leaves, cold, in my hands. And then there was the salt air of the sea, coming in from the little cove out by the Piney Bluffs. You could smell the sea best, from here.

"Adelle and I pass by this street sometimes, when we go shopping. And something about this place is always so..."

"Relaxing." Ethan replied. "It's relaxing."

"Yeah." I said with a nod, looking at the grey-blue skies of Harbor. As usual, there was barely a hint of the sun. He was tucked away somewhere, hidden behind the clouds, lonely.

"I screwed up again, I know." Ethan was saying. "I try to help you, and somehow I just mess things up... I don't know why."

I said nothing, but I did look at him, wondering why these things couldn't have been different.

"Mimi, why didn't you tell me earlier about the note or how your grandfather is spying on you?"

He was hurt, I knew, but what I would say next would only make it worse.

"After what you did to me? To us? Why would I?"

"Guess you're right." Ethan said in a small voice, looking down at his hands in his lap. "But I swear, I wasn't trying to hurt you. I was being stupid and selfish. All I cared about was securing my future..."

"And making your dad happy, right? This is about him too."

Ethan said nothing this time, but in his silence was his answer. And once again, instead of feeling angry with him and cutting him off for good, I was feeling the tremendous weight of his guilt. In his troubles, I was forgetting my own and losing myself. And in the moment, all I could think of, was how Ethan must have worked his entire life to try and please a father that had constantly lacked in time and affection.

"But you have guilt about something too, Mimi." Ethan said. "I can tell. And I think I know what it's about..."

Eve I thought, panicking just a little as I felt my heart beat quicken. Somehow he knows about Eve...

"This is about you and Tidus." Ethan said.

Slowly, I nodded, feeling immense relief. After all, it was partly true.

"Something happened between you two in New York, didn't it? Something other than just finding that amulet..."

Quickly, I decided to throw Ethan a bone. The guilt of his apology, coupled with the burden of knowing about Eve's secret proposition, prompted me to decide on telling him the truth.

Well, parts of it anyway.

"Yeah, something did happen, but not what you think. Tidus asked me if I could convince the Leadership to collaborate with the Council. He wants to strengthen Vampire-Werewolf relations, just like I do."

"Seriously?" Ethan said, looking doubtful. "And why would a Romaine ever want that?"

"Because that's what the Council wants,"

Ethan shook his head with a chuckle as the light bulb licked.

"I knew there was a better reason why Johl Romaine showed up looking for you. That guy's a prick, by the way. But... I'm in. I wanna help."

"You do? Really?"

"Sure. Just take me with you to his party."

"Unbelievable." I said with a sigh. "There's always a catch with you, isn't there? You just hand me some shiny, sparkly object that distracts me so you can hide the knife behind your back. Smooth."

"I'm your Champion, Mimi. I'm your protector – I have a right to be there. Besides, if you take me it'll make a bigger impression than if you don't. Of course Johl doesn't want you to bring anyone else from the Leadership – he thinks he's the one in charge. But you bring me, and you'll show him that he's not."

"Whatever," I said, crossing my arms and looking away. "You just wanna go so you can feel like you're charge too."

"Hey," Ethan reached out and gently turned my face from the window, forcing me to look at him. "Even though I'm selfish, everything I do is for the benefit of us both. But do you think Tidus could say the same thing? Or his brother? Do you think they care for you the same way that I do?"

He was reading me – cover to cover, neatly, every single page.

"And please don't answer if you know it's just gonna be a lie." he said.

So I kept my mouth shut.

*  *  *

I thought that Ethan would be discouraged by my revelations and insist on taking me home. But, surprisingly, he was of a much more calm and receptive disposition. So while the day was still relatively young, we decided a visit to the hospital's morgue was in order.

"So," Ethan said, regarding the quiet parking lot of Saint Cyprian Hospital after we had both exited the car. "How do we do this?"

"Uh, well," I said, thinking as I jammed my hands into my back pockets. "Find the nearest elevator and push the button that says 'morgue'?"

Ethan considered this for a moment.

"Sounds good to me."

And away we went.

In the interim, I was growing more and more apprehensive. I didn't like hospitals and never had. As a younger teenager, I was always afraid of hurting myself and winding up in the ER. And then it would just be a matter of time before they drew blood and figured me out. The human doctors would have me locked up and padded down, to poke around at my insides and scramble my brains around. But as it turned out, I was rarely ever sick and never broke a single bone. Being a foster kid had made me tough, but being a Supernatural made me resilient.

The moment we stepped through Saint Cyprian's large, sliding glass doors, the smells of death and disinfectant were thick upon the air. Patients trudged along in their baggy, paper-thin, blue gowns, with their bags of fluid as they were pushed along in wheel chairs. Most of them were human, non-Supernatural, sick and/or dying. Their relatives, or other hospital attendants, walked with them, speaking to the sick in low, soothing voices. But the effect was anything but comforting for me. In fact, the whole scene made me feel rather glum and... nauseous.

I felt Ethan's arm knock into my shoulder, and turned to him with eyebrows raised. Beside me, he swayed, his face turning green.

"Are you ok?" I asked with concern.

"No," he said faintly, shaking his head and giving a nasty burp. "Not at all. Not even a little."

"Grope me even once, and you will forever miss your left hand, got it?" I said, pausing to throw one of his heavy arms across my shoulders before heading in the direction of the elevators.

But Ethan gave me a look of utter virtuousness. And after rolling my eyes, we proceeded to find our way to the end of the main hall. I pressed the elevator button to go down, and we stood, waiting patiently for our ride.

"You know what?" Ethan said, "Maybe you should just go in the morgue without me." Ethan said, sagging against the wall. "I don't think I can go in there with all those bodies. Just the thought of them in there, all... dead – makes me wanna hurl!"

And with violent gagging noises, Ethan threw himself upon the mercy of an abandoned mop bucket and promptly hurled into the receptacle. The elevator came and I held it open with a single hand, waiting patiently as he coughed a few more times and then spit.

"Feeling better?" I asked after he re-approached.

"I think I need a mint," he said, miserable, with an accompanying burp.

"And maybe some gum too," I replied, waving my hand before my face.

We entered the elevator and as the doors closed with a small thud behind us, I turned around to see Ethan doubled over, clutching his stomach. He looked up at me, with his face still sweaty and pale. Inspiration struck, and quickly I pressed the elevator's stop button.

"Uh, Naomi, if you're coming onto me right now, I have to say this really isn't the way I imagined it. But hey, I'm down if you are..."

"Oh shut up." I said, rolling my eyes. "I figured out this trick a couple of weeks ago, and I think maybe it can help you too. Now be quiet and close your eyes."

Ethan gave me a mistrustful look, but shut his eyes and dropped his hands. Biting my lip in concentration, I put a gentle hand on either side of his face and closed my eyes as well.

"Just relax." I said. "It won't hurt."

I wasn't feeling sick, so I gave him some of that peace. I imagined the tranquility and stillness that dwelled within myself being transferred from my mind into his. Ethan sucked in a deep breath through his teeth, and I felt his entire body relax in my hands, like a rope that had recently been taught and was now loose.

Out of nowhere, Ethan grabbed my hands by the wrists, yanking them away from his face.

"Mimi, what just happened?" he whispered. "How did you do that?"

"I don't know," I said roughly, pulling my hands free of his grip. I stepped away from him and that hungry look in his eyes. "When we aren't around each other, I still get glimpses of your feelings. And if I want, I can let those feelings take over mine. So I figured that if I could take your feelings, then maybe I could give you some of mine too. And obviously it worked, so you're welcome."

Ethan said nothing. Instead, he reached out and grabbed me by the arm, pulling me close again.

"What are you –" I began, but was interrupted by the soft pressure of his lips on mine. It was the kind of kiss that made you forget absolutely everything – time, space, troubles, worries. I fell into it and him, kissing him back, hard...

Suddenly, I broke the kiss and slapped his face.

"Ugh, you perv!" But the slap was half-hearted, and even if hadn't been, nothing could break the success of Ethan's small victory. "You just kissed me with your puke-breath." I said, fervently wiping my mouth across the back of my hand.

"I know. Sorry." he said, and not looking it one bit as a large, unabashed smile spread across his face. "I was just so caught in the moment..."

And I could practically see the stars in his eyes as he stared, dreamily, into the shiny, reflective, surface of the bronze-colored elevator doors.

With another curse, I released the elevator's stop button.

"What the hell?" I said, when I realized that in order to make the button for the morgue work, you had to first insert a key into the slot beside it. Understanding that I was keyless, I allowed defeat and despair to puncture the balloon of my enthusiasm, and I deflated on the spot.

"What? What's wrong?" Ethan asked, snapping to again. "What is it?"

"The button won't work without a key." I sighed. "We can't get in."

We were both quiet for several seconds, but Ethan was the only one brainstorming. I was still too busy fuming.

"Wait. I have an idea." Ethan said. "There was a girl running the information desk back in the main hall – she had a key ring. We can try those."

I pressed the open button and we left the elevator. I followed Ethan back down the hall and took a seat on a wooden bench next to a tall, leafy, potted plant. If I peeked between the ferns, I had a nice, open view of the front desk where the hospital attendant sat. She was a dumpy blonde with an energetic smile, and her Daffy Duck scrubs hung loose about her, creased and wrinkled from lack of ironing.

"Watch and learn." Ethan said, tweaking my nose before saunter up to the counter and immediately catching the attention of the blonde.

"Um, hi..." Ethan leaned towards the girl and closed his fingers around her nametag, pretending to inspect it closely. "Amanda. I was wondering if maybe you could help me out? See, I'm lost, and my Maymay is having extensive back surgery in an hour – bless her shriveled heart. But unfortunately, I can't find the waiting room..."

You didn't need intuition to see that she was captivated by Ethan. With his pretty eyes, and dazzling smile, the poor girl was putty in his hands. Like a snake charmer he began to weave his spell around her, and I found myself wondering if Ethan saw me this way too. Or Tidus for that matter. Like the attendant, was I this susceptible in their eyes? Was I this easily influenced?

"Well, all major surgical procedures are performed on the fourth floor." Amanda said with a dopey grin, caught in the trap of Ethan's eyes. "But I can double check... for you..."

"Please," Ethan replied, ever so sweet.

There was the short clacking of her keys, and the slight creases of a frown, as she deeply inspected the screen of her monitor.

"Um, yup! I just pulled up the map. You just take the elevators that are all the way at the end of the hall, up to the fourth floor. There's a waiting room, like, two doors down. You can't miss it."

"Yeah, about that... I'm really more of a visual learner. It would really help a lot if I could actually see the map, Amanda."