Chapter 4- Our day.

Edited 05-06-2020.

Thank you for reading guys.

Love,

IBeWhoIBe

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Chapter 4-

Today was Saturday, and as I said before I love Saturdays. It was always a fun Paige & daddy day.

I was lying in bed waiting for Paige to run in and jump on my bed like she always did on Saturday mornings. Usually she woke me up but today I had gotten up early. Since Tuesday I hadn't gotten a whole ton of sleep. Stupid napkin. Which was now hidden in my nightstand, I could not seem to throw it away.

I wanted to, but I couldn't.

I laid there for 10 more minutes before I heard little feet charging towards my room. A second later Paige ran through the doorway, hair flying behind her, and catapulted herself onto my bed.

"Why are you awake daddy? I'm supposed to wake you up." she pouted.

I laughed at her cute little face while she crawled across the bed and got under the covers next to me, snuggling into my side and making me smile. I put my arm around her shoulders "Sorry munchkin, I guess I just woke up early."

She snuggled under my arm even more and sighed "Okay, but next times don't do that."

I chuckled "I'll try my best."

"So, what are we doing today daddy? Except for getting ice cream." She tried to add slyly.

I raised my brow at her with a mock glare "Who said were getting ice cream?"

Her jaw dropped, and her eyes got wide "But we hafta get ice cream."

"Oh, we do?"

She nodded her head adamantly and I couldn't help it, I laughed, and she grinned at me.

"I guess...if we hafta get some." And I rolled my eyes playfully.

She nodded, satisfied with both my answer, and knowing she would always get her way on Saturdays.

"Well we could go to the museum today, and the park, and then get ice cream before coming home. Sound good?"

She nodded "Could we go see mommy today?" I paused in surprise.

I had been telling Paige about Tillie since she was able to talk, and we visited Tillie's grave every holiday. But Paige hadn't started asking more questions about her yet, and she rarely asked to see Tillie's grave except on holidays. In fact, this was the only the second time. The first time she had asked, it had been after a kid on the playground had teased her about having no mommy. I think she had talked to Tillie that day, but I hadn't pried. She was 4, but she was very smart and mostly mature for her age.

I looked over at her and furrowed my brow "Why do you ask sweetie?"

She shrugged "I don't know. Sometimes...I get upset that Owen has a mommy and so I think I need to visit her." I searched her face for a second and sighed. I knew this was hard for her, even though Tillie had never been around.

"Of course, we can. We can go there first. Okay?"

She smiled and nodded "Okay." She crawled out of my bed and ran down the hall to her room.

"Get dressed daddy!" and she slammed her door to get dressed.

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I stopped the car and turned the ignition off. The cemetery always made me a little sad, always made me think what if. I looked at Paige in the rearview mirror before getting out and opening her door to unbuckle her.

"Ready?" I asked and grabbed her hand.

She nodded and we started walking. We soon reached Tillie's grave and I stopped before it.

Natalie Grayson

1988-2007

Beloved Mother, Daughter, and Friend

The words on the grey granite made me smile slightly. She always hated Natalie. Said it did not fit her at all. But she was beloved. No doubt about that.

I turned to Paige "Want a minute alone Munchkin?"

She nodded and I walked a way away before stopping and turning around to watch her. She was sitting with her legs crossed, while talking and plucking grass. She had a sad look on her face, and I hated it, she should never have that look in her eyes. But I know I am not superman and I cannot always protect her, or make her hurt disappear, no matter how much I want to. I stood there for 5 minutes while Paige talked and when she stood up, I started walking over to her.

When I reached her, I grabbed her hand and we started walking to the car "Okay, munchkin?"

She shrugged "Yeaa. Can we go to the museum now?"

I smiled and nodded before buckling her in and starting the car. Part of me always wanted to ask what she wanted to talk with Tillie about, but I knew it was none of my business. I think knowing Tillie was here helped her in a way. We got to the museum and I watched Paige run around like a crazy child while oohing and ahhing, sad mood forgotten. Talking to Tillie must have helped her.

I watched her for 45 minutes before she started slowing down and I took that opportunity to take her to the park. I put her into her seat and made the 10-minute drive, listening to her chatter about the cool toys in the children's museum. We got out of the car and she grabbed my hand as we walked.

"I think today is a swings day, daddy."

"Oh, you think so?" I chuckled.

"Yep. So that means you must push me." She nodded.

"Oh okay, if you say so princess."

"I am a queen, not a princess." And she giggled while I threw my head back and laughed.

When we reached the swings, I plucked her down into the seat and started pushing.

"Higher, higher!"

"But you might fly into the sky." I teased.

She giggled "Then higher! I'll see the moon."

I laughed and after a few minutes she jumped off to play on the jungle gym while I sat on a bench.

I pulled my cell phone out while watching her and noticed I had a voicemail.

I tapped the button to press play and realized it was from Elise.

--"Hey Erik, mister I think I can run away and avoid sound advice from Elise. Anyway, Grant and I and the little monster are going for a picnic tomorrow and you and Paige need to come. No arguments. I know where you live. We'll be there at 12:30. Byyeeee."--

I shook my head at her, but I knew she meant it. She would be there at 12:30 and drag me out of the house whether I wanted it to happen or not. Paige would have fun with Owen though, so I guess it could be worth it. When Paige was too tired to move, we walked across the street to get ice cream before heading home. She ordered cookies n cream of course, and I got Rocky Road. Best ice cream flavor in the world.

End of discussion.

We licked and walked and finished by the time we reached the car. I always parked a little way away so that Paige wouldn't end up eating ice cream in it. She could be a tad messy. When we got home, I turned on a Disney movie and we both soon fell asleep on the couch.

God, I loved Saturdays.

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The next day I made pancakes for Paige and told her we were going on a picnic with Elise and Grant and Owen. She screamed in joy and shoveled her pancakes into her mouth. My daughter was a little pig sometimes. I grinned at her and shook my head. Unfortunately, she probably got that from me.

Although, Tillie wasn't the cleanest eater id ever seen. Pretty soon it was time to get ready and I packed everything we would need, and the doorbell rang at exactly 12:30.

I opened the door to a smiling Elise.

"Ready to go? Hi Paige!"

"Ready as we'll ever be."

We walked down the walkway and we all got into Grants SUV; I would take my own car but the park wasn't far from us, so it wasn't too bad.

We got to the park and got out to lay a blanket down. The kids ran off to the swings as fast as possible and we sat there for a few to watch them.

"So, have you thought about what I said?"

I looked over at Elise when she voiced her question and shrugged. "I just don't think I want to date, Elise. I have Paige..."

She shook her head "You're just using her as an excuse Erik, and you know it."

"What?" I glared. "I care about Paige and her welfare is more important than me getting laid."

She glared back "I know that, you jackass. But you're using Paige as an excuse to not date." And then her gaze softened "You know I love you guys. But...Tillie is gone, Erik. And you deserve to be happy. I look at Grant and Owen and I feel so happy and complete its ridiculous. I just want you to have that."

I look at her and part of me hates her for being right. Maybe part of me was waiting for Tillie to show up, which is stupid. It's been 4 years. And maybe I am hiding behind the fact that I have a daughter, not that I'll say that out loud. But the fact of the matter is that I do have Paige and it's just...I don't know.

I finally answer with "I'll think about it Elise."

She sighed and nodded. We stayed at the park for an hour and I barely said anything. I was too busy thinking. We got home and Paige went to her room to take a nap, playing with Owen had exhausted her. I smiled at her sprawled figure and propped the door open a crack. I set my stuff down and went to my room to plug my phone in and lay down for a while.

I stared at my ceiling and thought about the tiny chance that Elise could be somewhat right.

Hell, I looked at her family and I will admit- I wanted that sometimes. But I was so used to it just being Paige and I, I did not know how to put myself out there. I looked over to my nightstand drawer and slowly sat up while opening it. I grabbed the napkin and stared at it. I grabbed my cell phone before sitting down again. I took a breath and dialed the number.

Ring.

Ring.

Ring.

"Hello?"

"Uhm. Its Erik. Does the offer still stand?"

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