Chapter 8: The First Time

The thing about feelings is that they don't always give you a heads up. They just show up when you least expect it, and next thing you know, you're in too deep.

I wasn't ready for what happened that night.

Isaiah had invited me over to his place again. It was just the two of us, no distractions. We were sitting in his room, playing video games, not really talking, just laughing and being stupid. But the whole time, I kept feeling his presence. It was like the room was too small for the both of us, and every time he got close, every time our legs brushed or our fingers accidentally touched, I could feel something shift in me.

The tension was building, and I could feel it in my bones.

At one point, Isaiah paused the game and turned to me, his face serious. "Amir, what's going on with you? I feel like you're holding back. Like you're trying to keep me at a distance."

I froze, my heart racing in my chest. This was it. The moment I'd been avoiding. The moment where I had to admit that I was scared shitless to let him in. To let anyone in.

"I just don't know how to do this," I whispered, my voice barely a breath. "I don't know how to let you be close without... worrying you're gonna leave."

Isaiah was quiet for a second, just looking at me like he was trying to figure me out. Then he did something I wasn't expecting.

He leaned in. Slowly. And I couldn't breathe. His face was so close now, I could feel the heat of his skin, smell the faint scent of cologne. His eyes were locked on mine, and I could see the way he was waiting, waiting for me to make the move. Waiting for me to decide.

"Amir..." he said softly, his voice a whisper against the space between us, "you don't have to be scared of me."

I didn't trust myself. I didn't trust what I was feeling. But something in me—something I couldn't control—leaned in, just enough that our lips were a breath apart.

And then he kissed me.

It wasn't like the movies. It wasn't this big, dramatic thing. It was slow, careful, like he was testing the waters, making sure I was okay. And I was. I was more than okay.

The moment his lips touched mine, all that fear I had, all that doubt, it melted away. I didn't know how to explain it. But for the first time in a long time, I wasn't thinking about how things could go wrong. I wasn't thinking about all the reasons this could fall apart. I was just thinking about him. About the way he made me feel like I wasn't alone in the world.

We pulled back, both of us breathing a little heavier, but neither of us said anything. We didn't need to. The air between us was charged with something new, something real.

"I think I'm falling for you," Isaiah whispered.

And for the first time in my life, I didn't pull away. I didn't shut down. I didn't run. I just smiled, because I knew I was already falling too.