Chapter 11: The Storm Before the Calm

It was getting harder to pretend like I didn't feel anything for Isaiah. Every time we hung out, every time he touched me, my heart skipped a beat. I was trying so hard to keep my guard up, but it was like trying to stop a flood with a paper towel.

We were getting closer. I could feel it. And I wanted to pull back. I wanted to shut it all down, but something inside me kept pushing me forward. I didn't know if it was because I really liked him, or if it was just that I couldn't remember the last time someone made me feel... alive.

But there was still that voice in my head. The one telling me it was too good to be true. The one reminding me that people always leave. Always.

So when we were sitting at the park, and I could feel his arm brushing against mine, I felt that knot tightening in my chest. I didn't want to admit it to him, but I knew I couldn't keep pretending like everything was fine.

"Isaiah," I started, trying to keep my voice steady, "there's something I've gotta say."

He looked at me, those dark eyes of his serious now. "What is it?"

"I can't do this," I whispered. "I can't keep letting you in. I can't keep feeling like this and pretending it's okay. People don't stick around. They never do."

He didn't get upset. He didn't get mad. He just reached out, gently placing his hand on mine. "I'm not going anywhere, Amir. But I need you to be real with me. If you need time, I'll give you time. But you can't keep pushing me away, alright? I'm not going anywhere."

I wanted to scream. I wanted to tell him that he didn't understand, that he didn't know what it felt like to be left behind over and over again. But instead, I squeezed his hand, my voice breaking as I whispered, "I'm scared, Isaiah. Scared of losing you. Scared of... this."

And he smiled. A real smile. The kind that made me feel like I could breathe again. "You're not going to lose me. Not if I can help it."