My Dark Desire: Chapter 49

Romeo Costa:

So? Did you guys make up?

Ollie vB:

Was there makeup sex involved?

Ollie vB:

(Also: who are we talking about?)

Romeo Costa:

Housekeeper Hot Stuff showed up at my door last night, drenched like an abandoned kitty, asking for shelter.

Zach Sun:

We had a mild disagreement.

Zach Sun:

We figured it out.

Ollie vB:

Did you ask for your balls back?

Romeo Costa:

Don’t be ridiculous, Oliver.

Zach Sun:

Thank you, Rom.

Romeo Costa:

He doesn’t have the balls to make such a request.

Zach Sun:

You are both mentally five.

Ollie vB:

Lies. I am clearly at the height of my hormone-filled adolescence.

Ollie vB:

Probably somewhere between thirteen and nineteen.

Ollie vB:

I still cannot get over the fact that you are screwing the help.

Zach Sun:

I still cannot get over the fact that you gave a woman you literally do not know two of your five Amex cards.

Romeo Costa:

COME AGAIN?

Ollie vB:

I did.

Ollie vB:

Three times. Today alone. To Frankie’s IG pictures.

Ollie vB:

She’s in Costa Rica, basking in the sun, wearing tiny bikinis.

Ollie vB:

Best money I’ve ever spent.

Ollie vB:

Also, how’d you find out?

Zach Sun:

Farrow has a mouth.

Ollie vB:

She should use it to suck your dick more and talk about my business less.

Zach Sun:

Don’t you need a job to have a ‘business’?

Ollie vB:

How does Farrow know Frankie?

Romeo Costa:

Dallas and Frankie took Farrow out for a birthday celebration.

Ollie vB:

Wow. Okay.

Ollie vB:

Not going to pretend not to be hurt by the lack of requests for me to be the stripper jumping out of the cake.

Zach Sun:

The last thing your criminal record needs is you jumping out of places completely naked.

Ollie vB:

My probation is over, and that was completely consensual, thankyouverymuch.

Ollie vB:

I already told you. She was mad because I forgot her name.

Romeo Costa:

Pin this conversation for a second.

Ollie vB:

Why? You’ve got something important to tell us?

Romeo Costa:

No. I’m making some popcorn for this.

Ollie vB:

[Eye roll Emoji]

Ollie vB:

So… where is she now?

Romeo Costa:

Frankie? Probably Kindergarten, learning letters and colors.

Ollie vB:

Farrow, you swine.

Romeo Costa:

In my living room with Shortbread.

Romeo Costa:

They appear to be making voodoo dolls.

Romeo Costa:

My bad.

Romeo Costa:

I was just informed they’ve taken up crocheting.

Romeo Costa:

Shit, they’re really bad at it.

Romeo Costa:

Dallas just finished a beanie, and it looks like a cock warmer.

Zach Sun:

I sincerely hope by ‘cock’ you mean a rooster.

Romeo Costa:

Listen, Dallas likes skiing. This is a no-judgment zone.

Ollie vB:

Isn’t three o’clock a work hour for Farrow?

Romeo Costa:

Doubt her job description currently includes anything beyond taking Zach’s dick in every available hole in her body.

Zach Sun:

Objectify her one more time, and you will find yourself with a knife in your hand like Brett Junior.

Ollie vB:

Aw. Zachy Boy, you’re not supposed to get attached.

You’re ENGAGED.

Romeo Costa:

This engagement is going to be shorter than Vanilla Ice’s career.

Zach Sun:

Vanilla who?

Romeo Costa:

Exactly.

Ollie vB:

Can you stop saying the word vanilla?

Ollie vB:

It is very triggering to me.

Romeo Costa:

Why?

Ollie vB :

Reminds me of missionary sex.

Zach Sun:

I’m carrying through with the marriage.

Romeo Costa:

Didn’t you just put a 100k retainer down for Dan? For Farrow’s legal fees?

Zach Sun:

This is beside the point.

Ollie vB:

Okay, @RomeoCosta, who’s gonna tell him?

Romeo Costa:

Not me.

Romeo Costa:

Imagine how hilarious it’s going to be when he finds out.

Zach Sun:

@RomeoCosta, can you tell Farrow to come back home?

Romeo Costa:

Hold.

Romeo Costa:

She said she doesn’t have a home, that she lives in her employer’s guest room, and that she is having too much fun with my wife to come back today.

Romeo Costa:

Try again tomorrow.

Ollie vB:

This relationship is the best thing to happen to this world since sliced bread.

Zach Sun:

I don’t eat carbs.

Ollie vB:

You really should. You are moody AF.

Zach Sun:

I hate all of you.

Romeo Costa:

Not all.

Romeo Costa:

Not Farrow.