My Dark Desire: Chapter 31

Ollie vB:

I’m going to kill Zach.

Ollie vB:

@ZachSun, I got kicked out of the country club because of you.

Romeo Costa:

I thought you got kicked out because you slept with the president’s wife?

Ollie vB:

They got divorced and moved to Hawaii and New York, respectively, since the affair.

Ollie vB:

I’ve been reinstated.

Ollie vB:

Until Dickbag McExhibitionistson over here decided to show his willy to strangers.

Romeo Costa:

You’re going to have to elaborate.

Romeo Costa:

[Michael Jackson Smiling and Eating Popcorn GIF]

Ollie vB:

Apparently, our boy decided to screw someone in the sauna.

Ollie vB:

McGrew’s son walked in. Watched the whole thing. He narc’d that it was one of us three.

Ollie vB:

They naturally pointed the finger at me.

Zach Sun:

How do you know it’s not Romeo?

Ollie vB:

The woman he fucked wasn’t heavily pregnant and hugging a bucket of KFC.

Zach Sun:

Maybe Romeo decided to sample a disposable mistress.

Romeo Costa:

@ZachSun, please, don’t make me help him kill you.

Romeo Costa:

I have enough on my fucking conscience.

Zach Sun:

I’ll get you your membership back.

Ollie vB:

You better.

Ollie vB:

The women’s tennis team is about to accept twenty new members.

Ollie vB:

This was going to be my pet project for the year.

Romeo Costa:

Jesus.

Ollie vB:

…died for my sins, so I might as well make them worth his while, right?

Romeo Costa:

What happened to senior bingo night?

Zach Sun:

Don’t tell me…

Ollie vB:

Gloria and I spent a lovely weekend together before she retired to Florida.

Ollie vB:

The woman invented Kegels. King Arthur wouldn’t be able to pull me out of her.

Zach Sun left the chat.

Ollie vB added Zach Sun to the chat.

Zach Sun:

There are prisons easier to escape than this group chat.

Ollie vB:

Anyway, who is the unlucky woman?

Romeo Costa:

Probably a thrice Nobel Prized STEM nerd.

Ollie vB:

You’re off.

Ollie vB:

My chips are on the new maid.

Romeo Costa:

The one who annihilated him at Go?

Zach Sun:

For the last time, she did not annihilate me at Go.

Zach Sun:

We’re still playing.

Ollie vB:

And a very fun game at that.

Ollie vB:

Why wasn’t I invited?

Zach Sun:

You don’t play Go.

Ollie vB:

TO THE SAUNA GAME.

Zach Sun:

Because I prefer my intercourse without a side of syphilis?

Romeo Costa:

Is this an official confirmation that you hooked up with her? [Smiling Face with Tear Emoji]

Ollie vB:

That’s the first time I’ve actually gotten concrete evidence that Zach’s not a virgin.

Romeo Costa:

Shut up, Ol.

Ollie vB:

And here I thought he was about to be engaged to that doctor chick.

Zach Sun:

I will be. Soon.

Romeo Costa:

Are you for real?

Ollie vB:

From having NO love life to becoming the Bella to Cinderella and Dr. Ulick’s Edward and Jacob.

Ollie vB:

Bravo, @ZachSun. Bravo.

Zach Sun:

Dr. Ulick?

Romeo Costa:

Eileen Ulick. [Unamused Face Emoji]

Ollie vB:

[Tongue Emoji]

Ollie vB:

Love triangle is my favorite trope, btw.

Romeo Costa:

You don’t read.

Ollie vB:

What does reading have to do with anything? I’m talking about porn.

Ollie vB:

Just Google two nurses one cop. Thank me later.

Ollie vB:

But make sure you do it through your iPhone to avoid viruses.

Romeo Costa:

For the millionth time, iPhones are not immune to viruses.

Ollie vB:

Aww, shucks.

Ollie vB:

That explains that $2M charge to Anita Hanjaab.

Zach Sun:

There’s no love involved with either of them.

Ollie vB:

Keep telling yourself that while you break every single rule you’ve ever had for Cinderella.