CH 2.4

Anyway, the two loaded into the Legacy 500 to go to Italy on Saturday morning. One of Ryan’s lofty hobbies was collecting private jets, one of them was given to John as a gift for his last birthday. Because John didn’t want it, Ryan was in charge of the management of the private jet.

Thanks to a dawn departure, the two were able to arrive at Florence Peretola Airport around lunch time. The intense sunshine of Italy poured down on their shoulders.

“A car will come to the airport in half an hour.”

Valentine was wearing sunglasses, with his hair naturally hanging down on his forehead. The dazzling blonde hair and white skin stood out against the black sweatshirt, pants, and gray jacket.

“Grace won’t be able to meet us until dinner, right?”

“Yeah, let’s hang out until then.”

“Grace is so busy, as always.”

John responded with a laugh. With a bright knitwear, white T-shirts and jeans, John looked more British than Valentine did. His brown hair, which was thin and easily tangled even in the lightest wind, was shining brightly in the sunlight; his eyes almost turned from green to yellow.

Both John and Valentine stood out, so the passers-by repeatedly glanced at the two. However, neither of the two seemed to care, as they were already familiar with that situation. Feeling better after a long trip, John smiled with his cheeks flushed, and Valentine smiled quietly while staring at him with one eye.

Soon after, the driver came to pick them up. After a long drive along the winding hillside, he saw an antique hotel standing on the hill.

“Wow… Valentine, come and see this. The scenery is amazing.”

John, who entered the room, ran to the balcony with a burst of excitement. From the luxury villa-type hotel on the top of Fiesole, you could see the beautiful view of Florence at a glance. As the hotel boasts a long history, the interior was spacious and pleasant, the relaxed atmosphere was very gentle.

John stretched his upper body forward while leaning on the railing. The soft and refreshing spring breeze brushed past him, gently caressing his cheek. Feeling better, it was time for him to open his eyes and enjoy the sun. Valentine reached out to touch John’s hair. Soft hair floated between his fingers and became messy.

“John, when the sunlights hits your hair, it turns a little red. Did you know that?”

“Really? I didn’t know.”

“It’s pretty much shining. If only we had the same hair color, wouldn’t we look a bit more alike on the outside?”

John’s expression became awkward when Valentine smiled sweetly and whispered. It was because of a silly idea.

‘Being like that with your brother… He’ll probably be a lot more sweet to his lover.’

At the same time, Julian appeared in his mind, and the scene where the two faces were overlapping in one kept playing.

“You look good with your blonde hair.”

Feeling uneasy, John turned his head away from Valentine’s hand. It was when John, who roughly sorted out his messy hair with his fingers, lowered his eyes.

“What’s wrong?”

Perhaps he noticed a sudden change, so Valentine grabbed John’s chin with his large hand. John turned his head suddenly and looked up at Valentine with his eyes wide open. Valentine furrowed his brows, an irritating look on his face. John rolled his eyes away from his stare.

“What?”

“You keep avoiding eye contact.”

“I didn’t avoid it.”

“Liar.”

Valentine was understanding about everything when it came to John. But he wasn’t as tolerant when John hid or kept something from him. John knew Valentine’s character well, but that didn’t mean he would say that he imagined Valentine and Julian kissing. Hesitating, John chose to play dumb. Having Valentine’s hand around his chin, John awkwardly spoke.

“No. By the way, aren’t you hungry? I’m hungry.”

Valentine still didn’t like him acting oddly, but he took out his cell phone without delay anyway when John said he was hungry.

“What do you want to eat?”

“Uhm… meat?”

At John’s words, Valentine called the driver with a smile, as if he knew he would say that. Along the way, the two went to a famous local restaurant by the Arno River and ate a huge amount of steak. After that, they wandered around until the sun went down.

The fact that they were out of school made them laugh more often than usual and they enjoyed their time more. They took pictures that were out of focus, bought bracelets they wouldn’t usually, shopped at vintage shops on the side of the road, eating sweet and chewy ice cream with their tongues. Meanwhile, the brightly shining sun fell to the ground.

“Oh, wait. Grace.”

At a private designer shop, it was time for Valentine to put a ridiculous-looking leather fedora hat over John’s head. John’s face brightened up when he took his cell phone out of his pocket. He pressed the call button, holding Valentine’s hand. Their fingers were intertwined. While Valentine tilted his head and stared at his hand with an expressionless face, John spoke to Grace.

“Grace, are you done? Oh, you’re already at the hotel? We’re downtown. It’s not too far, so we’ll be right there. Okay, fine.”

“Is she there?”

“Yeah, she’s at the hotel. She wants to have dinner right away. Shall we go back?”

“Okay. I’ll call the driver.”

Arriving at the hotel, they immediately headed for the outdoor restaurant. It was not that big, but the restaurant with a panoramic view of Florence, was romantic and luxurious. And in the innermost part, a beauty in a tight Hervé Léger dress was sipping a pre-dinner drink at the table with the best view of the restaurant.

“Mother, we’re here.”

“Guys!”

Grace, who saw John and Valentine, jumped up and opened her arms. Her sons quietly bowed to her as they became too big to be held in her slender arms.

“How long has it been?”

“How have you been?”

“Yeah, you’re growing up every time I see you.”

“The more I see you Grace, the prettier you get.”

“Oh my, John. How sweet.”

Grace ruffled John’s hair with a cheerful smile on her face. Grace was still looking young and beautiful, even at the age of forty. Otherwise there was no reason for the uniformed waiters to constantly glance at her.

“Let’s sit down. Are you hungry?”

“We’re fine”

“But shouldn’t we eat seafood since we’re in Italy? A glass of wine will be fine, even if you’re minors.”

Grace, who squinted at the two, immediately ordered salad, seafood, and white wine. Neither John nor Valentine had a chance to open the menu. Her reckless but never detestable personality, was something that Valentine inherited.

Grace raised her glass of wine and shouted.

“You don’t know how happy I’m with you here. I’m probably the happiest woman in the world right now.”

The sky, where the sun had completely disappeared, had a clear blue color. Round lights hanging in the air lit up one by one, and the city under the hill also began to sparkle like an island of fireflies. From some point on, romantic melodies echoed in the wind.

Beautiful scenery, delicious meals, pleasing wine, and even couples were around them. Everything that could make a night perfect.

Indeed, it would have been a perfect night if Grace hadn’t gotten drunk too soon.

“I’ll take the President first.”

“…Take your time.”

“You haven’t been able to sleep well due to a heavy workload, and I think you already felt better after meeting your sons after a long time apart.”

“Please take care of her for me.”

A secretary and a group of bodyguards watching them from afar approached before lifting Grace from her seat. Within an hour of sitting down, Grace, who was constantly sipping wine, began to doze off.

The secretary, who was just watching at first, asked for their understanding and disappeared with her when Grace almost hit her head on the table. The two, who were left alone at the table, smiled as they stared at each other. Valentine mumbled, pressing his eyes hard with his hand.

“She called us all the way to Florence and left without spending a single hour with us. Can you believe it?”

“Well, maybe we can have breakfast together tomorrow. Let’s pray.”

“I hope so.”

Valentine, who didn’t seem to have any expectation, slightly raised his hand and called the waiter. Then he ordered an extra bottle of wine. John asked Valentine with a surprised face.

“What? Are you going to drink more?”

“We haven’t been out of school for a long time. Grace will turn a blind eye too. You’re not drunk, are you?”

John shook his head. Not only would he not get drunk with a glass or two of wine, but he also felt sorry to let the evening end like this.

The waiter, who brought the new glass, poured the wine with great dexterity. Valentine smiled and took the glass to his mouth. Sitting against a picturesque background, the gorgeous handsome man was certainly an eye-catching type. John swallowed the wine, slowly staring at the blue darkness falling over the shiny blonde. Heavy and soft acidity soaked his tongue.

“Today was really… nice.”

As he drank glasses of wine one after another, his mind and body became relaxed. John threw away his manners and put his arms on the table, resting against his cheek: unfocused eyes, eyes that were redder than usual, flush on his pale cheeks and red lips. He had a dreamful drunken face. John, who stared blankly at the sky for a while, took a deep breath and closed his eyes. The long, tightly-filled eyelashes trembled in the light.

“I feel refreshed. As if… I was in the clouds.”

John, who had been feeling the breeze caressing his cheek for a while, slowly opened his eyes. And the first thing that came into his sight, was the blue eyes colored like the sea. Valentine was staring at him. John raised his lips and laughed mischievously.

“Why are you looking at me like that?”

“What do you mean?”

“You just keep looking at me.”

“Me?”

“Yes, you do. Sometimes, no, often. Didn’t you notice?”

When John was drunk, what he wouldn’t usually say, came out of his mouth without him wanting to. Valentine placed his chin on his hand, with a look on his face that said that he didn’t know he would hear such a thing. But very soon, he was interested. Valentine crossed his arms, leaned forward and responded with a sigh.

“I thought you were slow-witted, but I guess not.”

“What did you say?”

“Nothing. Moreover, John.”

“Yeah, Valentine?”

“I have a question. Can you answer me?”

Valentine lowered his head and vaguely asked, as if he was hesitating. Stretching across the table, the hand held John’s elbow lightly. John’s shoulder trembled slightly at the slow touch over the thin shirt. He was so drunk, that his body became hot with just a little contact.

“What is it?”

“Are you going to answer me?”

“Yes, I will. What’s the matter?”

“Have you ever kissed anyone?”

John’s body flinched because of Valentine’s words. It was because it was a question he never thought that someone would ask him. However, unlike the embarrassed John, Valentine was just peaceful.

“…But why?”

John asked back to Valentine instead of answering. His voice became sharp as a defense mechanism. However, Valentine responded confidently with a face that stated that he didn’t care, as if he were claiming his rights.

“You said you’d answer.”

“Why are you asking me that in the first place?”

“If I tell you the reason, will you be honest with me?”

“I don’t know. I’ll decide after I hear it.”

Valentine, who was staring at John, spat out in an insincere voice.

“I kissed Julian.”

Boom.

And then a rock that had been inside John’s heart, fell down from Valentine’s words. He had expected enough, but when he confirmed it through Valentine. He suddenly felt sober.

…Why am I like this?

Embarrassed, John pressed his lips with the back of his hand. The lips touching the skin were burning, as if they were excited by the heat. Valentine held his arm tightly, as if asking for an answer. And fortunately, John’s voice, which flowed a beat late, was not much different from usual.

“Really?”

“Yes.”

“Oh… what should I say. Congrats…”

“I was a little surprised because he put his tongue in. Is that how it is?”

In outspoken remarks, John’s expression collapsed once again, overshadowing his efforts. But what he was thinking was, was it Valentine’s first time, too? If Valentine had been as he had imagined, he wouldn’t have asked such a question in the first place.

John was even more confused because he felt strangely relieved when he went crazy thinking about it. He was shocked by Valentine’s words and was relieved by his unexpected inexperience at the same time, but when he imagined the two making out, he started being impatient again.

What’s wrong with me? John bit his lips to death. His head became a little clearer, due to the stinging pain of the soft tissue being crushed. It was time for John to somehow try to wrap up his inner conflict. He gently pulled his arm that Valentine was holding and he avoided answering the question.

“John, I asked you. Have you ever done it?”

“…”

“You did?”

After hesitating for a moment, John nodded slowly. In fact, he never kissed and never thought he wanted to do it, but to be honest, somehow his pride was hurt.

Come to think of it, when Gregory was twelve, he stopped being a virgin and Dominic when he was fifteen. And during his eighteen years, he still felt pity for himself. In fact, John was always confident, but he felt an unexpected shame in revealing to Valentine that he had never kissed, as he was older than the other, and he didn’t want to fall behind him.

“Yeah… I did”

Because of that feeling, John lied, and Valentine’s eyes flashed an icy blue for a moment. Cold silence hung over the table, as if ice were pouring down from an imaginary ice bucket.

Valentine, who was staring at John with a stare, asked in an expressionless voice.

“Did you?”

“…”

“When?”

“…”

“With who.”

“I can’t tell you that.”

He couldn’t answer that because there was no one else in the first place. When the speechless John vaguely replied, Valentine tapped the table with a constant rhythm as if he was thinking about something. After a moment of silence, Valentine raised his head again, and John was stabbed by his gaze, so John avoided his gaze again.

Seeing John, who was shaking, Valentine mumbled to himself in a low voice.

“I thought I knew everything about you, but I guess I didn’t.”

“What are you talking about?”

“I just can’t imagine who you did it with.”

“…”

“Well, I’ll listen to that later.”

Somehow the atmosphere was strange. Under a strange pressure, John’s head turned toward the floor. Valentine leaned hard against his hand. His eyes were still cooling down.

“So did you feel good?”

“Huh?”

“Did you feel good when you kissed that person?”

“I think so…”

“Not for me.”

John raised his head in response to an unexpected answer. John, who was silent for a while because he didn’t know what to say, reluctantly nodded. He was unable to overcome Valentine’s urge to answer.

“I see.”

“You said Julian was pretty, but the tongue he pushed into my mouth and what was stuck to my thighs were all unpleasant.”

John couldn’t hide his surprise at the outspoken words that hit him. John, who unknowingly hit Valentine’s arm, rolled his eyes. He wasn’t close to Julian, but it was a moment when Julian became pitiful.

“Well, I don’t know what to say. Julian must have been shocked. He seemed to like you quite a bit.”

“John, why did you suddenly care about Julian?”

“What? Why are you suddenly talking like that?”

“You’ve been talking about him since the last time.”

Valentine snapped up John’s wrist again with a disgruntled look on his face. John closed his mouth with a troubled look on his face. He knew Valentine was misunderstanding something, but he couldn’t figure out how to explain it.

He didn’t care about Julian. Not about him…

What kind of expression would Valentine have, if he said that just because he was with Julian, he felt anxious that he would become an adult first? Unable to be completely honest, John agonized over how to get out of this awkward situation.

“John. I asked you.”

Valentine rubbed the tender flesh on John’s inner wrist, asking for an answer. It was a viscous touch. John’s finger bent on its own due to the unexpected itching. Trying to shake off the subtle feeling, he shook his head.

“It was just… nothing. No, rather, weren’t you dating Julian?”

“Me? Why did you think that?”

The giggling face contained obvious derision. At that moment, an unknown discomfort provoked John. At that point, he heard a warning that it would be better to turn the conversation around, but his mouth moved by itself.

“If not, why did you kiss him?”

“That’s not what I wanted.”

John burst into tears for no reason for an irresponsible answer. He answered quickly.

“Then why did you let him? You don’t even like him so why…”

“I know.”

“…”

“Why don’t you guess?”

It was a question that made him feel playful. Today’s Valentine was more difficult to understand, although he was like that sometimes. At a loss for words, John shut his mouth like a mute person. The melody of the violin mixed over the ice-cold silence between the two.

“Kissing someone, I feel weird because you said you liked it.”

How much time has passed? Valentine mumbled to himself with a somber look on his face. His beautiful face showed signs of depression, and as his head headed down, a loose blonde strand of hair fluttered against his forehead. The moment he saw that face, John unwittingly offered words of consolation.

“Strange… That’s not it.”

“Why?”

“…”

“You said you liked it. Why?”

“Uhm… I don’t know.”

Valentine, you chose the wrong one for advice. Thinking about it, John racked his brain hard.

“Maybe it’s because you didn’t like Julian that much? I think it’d be different if it’s someone you really like.”

“Do you think so?”

“… Maybe?”

I haven’t tried it, but it seems like it. John swallowed and nodded. Valentine, who was staring at John, smiled slightly. Then he turned his head back and furrowed his eyebrows as if he was thinking about something.

“If that’s the case, John.”

“Yes?”

“Can I do it with you?”

And what came out of his mouth, was something John had never imagined. John, who blinked for a few seconds, belatedly recognized what Valentine had said. Despite that, he was still unable to accept the meaning immediately, so he asked blankly.

“What?”

“Do it with me.”

“Do what…?”

“A kiss.”

It was strange. Obviously, he had heard it, but he couldn’t at all understand what Valentine was talking about. A corner of his heart, which reacted faster than the head, tightened as if it had burned.

“What are you talking about?”

The atmosphere was suddenly heavy. John laughed at the strange joke, but Valentine just stared at him without any change of expression. Therefore, the unnatural smile on John’s lips was soon scattered like sand.

“You don’t want to?”

“…That, of course not.”

“I just imagined it, and I think you’ll be fine.”

“…”

“Anything would be fine with you, so John, let’s kiss.”

Valentine asked me to kiss him.

John’s face quickly turned red, as he could no longer escape from reality. John couldn’t tell whether the unbearable heat was caused by alcohol or for other reasons.

“But, what do you mean? That’s ridiculous.”

John responded hastily. His voice trembled with a weak echo, even weaker than normal for him. Valentine, who was watching John with a careful look, smiled lightly. As usual, the calm voice flowed slowly on the red lips.

“Remember?”

“What?”

“When I helped you with your assignment before, you said you would do whatever I wanted, right?”

“Wait, that’s…”

“I’m going to use that chance now.”

Just before the end of the talk, Valentine pulled on John’s arm. His arm knocked over a glass of wine, leaving a red stain on the white tablecloth. Valentine grabbed John. The fluttering blue eyes stared at him with joy.

“Let’s go.”

“Wait…!”

Valentine seemed completely deaf to John’s feeble refusal. While John, who was trapped, was trying to pull himself together, Valentine kept walking. He strode past the bodyguards, who couldn’t even imagine what was going on between them, Valentine pressed the elevator button for the suite without hesitation. John’s wrist was still being held tightly.

John tried to think as rationally as possible, even though he was out of his mind. But his brain stopped working. Badump. His heart pounded hard as if it were about to pop out of his ribs.

Dding-

As the elevator opened, the hotel room that had been unpacked during the day was there. Valentine led John to their bedroom in a big strides.

“W-ait… Valentine!”

John never thought he was physically behind, but it was far from enough to stop Valentine. His body helplessly moved to get away from Valentine, and within seconds, a wide bed was just around the corner.

“Valentine!”

Just before being thrown into the bed, John gathered his strength and pulled on Valentine. Valentine stood face to face with him. John opened his mouth in a hurry.

“D-don’t do this.”

“…”

“You can’t do this. You can’t, g-got it?”

His voice shook with a terrible echo. But Valentine just giggled, as if he had heard a very funny joke.

“What, John…”

Valentine lowered his voice, smiled and stretched himself straight in the dark. The usually large body became overwhelmingly bulky in the dark. When John’s shoulders shook under the unknown pressure, Valentine whispered in a voice that seemed to tempt a child with candy.

“Why? Because you’re my brother?”

“…”

“It’s not something we can define in such general terms.”

“Valentine, but I mean…”

“You’re just you. I’m me.”

“…”

“Now I just want to get my tongue inside you.”

It was a strange thing. There’s no way Beta could take on Alpha’s pheromones, but John’s heart jumped at the vulgarly outspoken words. The drunken brain eventually seemed to have gone crazy, and a corner of his head seemed to melt. Licking John’s stiff face, Valentine whispered in his ear in a low voice.

“On the pretext of blood preservation, you know what our ancestors have done.”

“…”

“I’m not asking you to have sex, so just let me kiss you.”

Who is the guy in front of me…? Is him the Valentine that I really know?

It was when John came up with an extremely common question in his head. Something soft and warm touched John’s lips in a surprise move. John’s body shook greatly the moment he realized that it was Valentine’s lips. Keenly aware of John’s signs of escape, Valentine pushed him hard against the wall.

“U-uhm…!”

John tried to push Valentine away, but his solid body remained as if nothing had happened. Rather, taking advantage of his embarrassment, a hot, damp tongue suddenly penetrated his mouth. That feeling was really… He felt like the wine he drank in the evening suddenly burst into a bubble inside his head. In an instant, the whole body fell out of strength..

The tongue, which went past the lips and came deep inside, was hot and slippery as if it were burning. It rubbed and swept the inside of John’s mouth like a living being. Every time Valentine’s tongue pressed down on his soft tissue, John’s brain lost its function. He pulled out two fists to push Valentine away, but unconsciously, he instead held him tightly.

“Uh…”

Valentine went into John’s mouth without mercy to satisfy himself. As John bent his legs, Valentine supported the body that collapsed with his thigh.

“…Ha”

John opened his mouth to breathe in insufficient oxygen. Valentine, who gave him a moment to breathe, covered John’s lips with his once again. The movement of licking his mouth like it was ice cream, made John feel like he had no idea what was going on.

“…Uf”

John, who was helplessly following Valentine’s move, couldn’t stand it anymore and pulled his head back. He gasped for air. John’s lips were also badly swollen. Valentine, who let John go, smiled and whispered in his ear.

“John, you can breathe while you’re kissing.”

“…”

“Didn’t any of your lovers tell you that?”

John’s face exploded with Valentine’s words. John realized it intuitively. Valentine knew that his experience of bragging was false, and that he had seen through it from the beginning. The shame filled the chest with the momentum to burst.

“S-stop… move aside now.”

John scrambled to push away Valentine’s chest and twisted his head. Still lacking in breath, his chest was sharply heaving up and down. John closed his eyes tightly and tried to get out of Valentine’s arms. Somehow, he didn’t have the courage to confirm what type of gaze Valentine was using to look at him. But sadly, the steady body didn’t seem to back down a bit.

“No, it’s not enough yet.”

“…”

“Strangely good. If this is what it feels like, John…”

Bowing his head, Valentine placed his wet lips near John’s ear. The sensation of the lips touching him, which were hotter than usual, rubbing his earlobe, made his shoulder tremble. Valentine said, while holding John’s wrists tightly.

“You’re my first.”

…So I want more.

Just before he finished, Valentine’s lips overlapped his lips once again. The bumping temperature was hot enough to drive John to another world. Again, feeling one side of the brain melting, John closed his eyes unconsciously.

Something I don’t know for sure, I’m so anxious that I’m burning…

Led by Valentine’s hand, John sat on the bed, and soon a cool sheet touched his back. The huge body created a dark shadow over John. The cheek trapped in the big palm was burning. Sucking lips, covering the tongue from the bottom of the mouth, and tickling the roof of the mouth was so stimulating.

This is crazy. We’re both crazy.

John thought with a dizzy head. The unconscious warning that this should not happen flashed like a light in his head. But did I drink too much? John wondered. Right now, the feel of Valentine’s lips against his was so good that John couldn’t think reasonably.

I can’t do this.

But whatever signal his reasoning sent, the important fact was that the dice of fate had already been mercilessly thrown. After this night, John, who was afraid to think about what day would be waiting for them, closed his eyes.

In the end, all he could do was swallow his panting breath and bury his head in a big hand covering his cheek.

* * *

John, who opened his eyes in the morning, couldn’t even tell that he had woken up. It was because he didn’t have the courage to face Valentine. Fortunately, the room was empty when John, who pretended to sleep for a while, opened his eyes without being able to stand it anymore.

“Phew…”

Maybe Valentine went out to eat with Grace. As he drank a lot, an unpleasant hangover bubbled up in his stomach. He fell asleep without washing properly yesterday, so he felt uncomfortable. John went straight to the bathroom.

John rushed into the bathroom as Valentine could return while he was there. He agonized under the running hot water. With what face should I face Valentine? John, who kepting thinking dozens of times but eventually failed to find an answer, had to leave the bathroom without much progress.

John roughly put on his bathrobe. The room was still empty. John breathed a sigh of relief and quickly dressed. It was just when he came out of the bedroom with his shirt and pants on, the elevator inside the reception room opened wide, as if it had been waiting for him. It was such a damn bad timing.

“Oh, you woke up?”

It was Valentine who appeared as expected. It felt like a young CEO wearing a white shirt, long slacks, blonde hair, and with a magazine in his hands. Valentine approached John, who was frozen, and smiled.

“I didn’t want to wake you up. I asked for room service instead, so make sure to eat something. You probably drank too much yesterday. Are you feeling better?”

“…Oh, I’m okay.”

Valentine walked to the kitchen, placing the magazine on the marble table. He was so indifferent, while John had been worried all this time. John followed his movements blankly, blinking his eyes. Walking to the refrigerator, Valentine took out a bottle of water and poured it into a glass. He passed it to John and asked him in a caring voice.

“Are you thirsty?”

“Thank you…”

It was John who was rather confused by the nonchalant attitude, as if last night was only a dream. John received the glass and mechanically gulped down the water. Not only that, but he felt sure he was not in a dream when his thirsty throat was soaked with moisture. With an empty glass in his hand, John glanced at Valentine.

‘Is he really being indifferent…?’

Unlike Valentine, he had no idea if he could just act as if nothing had happened or what kind of attitude he should show. It was time for John to worry about narrowing the gap. Valentine, who took the empty glass from his hand, put his head closer.

“…!”

And his tongue broke through the careless lips and popped right in. As soon as the hot tongue swept across the soft tissue of his bottom lip, John’s heart fell to the floor. The tongue that lightly scanned the inside of his mouth soon came out, but the shock remained and made John startled.

“You, what did you just do?”

John came to his senses belatedly and stuttered in a trembling voice. Then Valentine asked back with a curious face.

“Why?”

“…”

“I can’t?”

“Of course…!”

John’s words did not continue until the end. It was because he felt Valentine’s lips again. John tried to reflexively push him away, but both of his wrists were easily held back. Valentine’s tongue popped into his mouth to protest. This time, unlike a while ago, was a quite sticky kiss.

“…Uhm!”

There was an intermittent murmur. Both of them were not closing their eyes, so each other’s appearance was disturbed by their distorted vision. It was John who couldn’t overcome the straight gaze and closed his eyes first.

“Go… away…”

By the time Valentine put his lips to the tip of John’s jaw, John pushed Valentine with all his might, and Valentine, who opened his mouth satisfactorily, obediently stepped back. Valentine’s and John’s lips were soaked in saliva and were red as they were swollen. Pressing his lips against the back of his hand, John stared at Valentine. The tip of the ear exposed under the brown hair was bright red.

“Are you crazy?”

“I’m not.”

“Are you still sober?”

“John, why are you angry?”

“Ha, I don’t get angry…”

“What’s the difference between the hugs and kisses we’ve had so far?”

“What?”

“I want to kiss you, and I will. Don’t get me wrong.”

John was rather speechless by Valentine’s confident response. Does Valentine really think there’s nothing wrong with this? John scoured his face for clues, but found nothing in the end.

“John.”

After a moment of silence, Valentine gave a long sigh. He was fiddling with the collar of his shirt as if he was frustrated and spat it out.

“How long have you been wary of others?”

“What?”

“Since when did we care about other people’s standards? It seems strange to people that we sleep together every day.”

“…That’s”

“Think more simply. I liked kissing you… You didn’t like it?”

One step closer, Valentine held on to John’s arm. His big hands were as hot as a fire.

Did I hate it?

He already knew the answer. Unfortunately, he didn’t hate it. If he didn’t like it, he wouldn’t have been so engrossed thinking about it last night. So he thought it was more of a problem. Normal brothers don’t check each other’s brothership by kissing.

But the reason why he couldn’t say that is…

“Didn’t you like it, John?”

Valentine blinked slowly as if he really didn’t know. Looking at him, who looked at himself with a little impatience, John closed his lips in a straight line. He felt as if he were possessed by something. He knew he had to be firm, but no words of rejection were uttered. Hesitation covered his helpless rationality.

If I say no, Valentine won’t force anything anymore but he will be disappointed.

Will that make us awkward?

I wonder if we can’t spend the time we’ve spent so far…. from now on.

With that assumption, John was suddenly afraid. He knew that they wouldn’t be together like now. But he wasn’t confident to give up his daily life right now. A wisp of bleak wind passed through his heart. John looked at Valentine blankly. When his eyes met with the blue eyes, the hardened lips moved on their own.

“I didn’t… hate it.”

Valentine’s eyes deepened at John’s answer after silence. At the same time, the curved lips drew a loose and elegant arc. Valentine reached out his hand, feeling satisfaction and joy. A large hand covered the faintly swollen cheek, and the finger traced over the red lips with irritation.

“Then that’s all that matters.”

“…”

“If you don’t mind, that’s all that matters.”

Is it?

He knew it wasn’t such a simple matter, but John remained silent, intentionally turning a blind eye to it. From the beginning, his relationship with Valentine was far from normal. Then this much… Can’t we just ignore it and move on?

He found an arbitrary response for self-justification. However, John turned a blind eye to the loud voice inside. Rather than the anxiety of entering the wrong path, the uncomfortable tension between Valentine and himself weighed down on him more heavily.

What on earth… is this feeling?

John tried to understand the complicated feelings that were like tangled threads, but soon after, even the slightest awareness of the approaching lips scattered like smoke.

Heya! Here just to say that a lot of you asked if this novel was dropped. I won’t drop any novel unless I say so in the foxaholic discord server (like Dear Benjamin). Some other comments said I was too slow, I just tl for fun and I don’t want this to be my work. Also, my mother language is Spanish so I’m slower in English. I don’t feel like I need to talk about this, but sometimes it hurts to read those things, so please don’t!^^