Chapter 10. Nightmare

🎶 Dance of the Wild Faeries

Published on 20.05.2022

| AUTHOR'S POV |

"This is Inaaya clown era and we're living in it!"

She screeches pacing to and fro as her friends continue to sit on the bench outside the garden and look at her stifling their laughter.

"I delivered a pretty good speech today and I wanted it to be an effective piece, not a defective one." She mimics what she had said just a day before and groans looking at her friends defeatedly who were being entertained with her misery.

Nikita tries to speak something to comfort Inaaya but a chuckle leaves past her lips and Inaaya whines. "Okay sorry," she says holding her hands. "Inu, take a deep breath. It's not as bad as you think." She tries to mollify her but Alisha giggles.

Inaaya glares at her and she raises her hand in surrender.

"You've already embarrassed yourself, I won't deny it." Alisha says and Inaaya sighs. "But you're really cute. I've never seen this side of yours." She pouts and blows a flying kiss, grinning.

Inaaya looks at Nikita, befuddled. "Kya pagal bandi hai ye!" She exclaims in horror to Nikita while pointing at Alisha who just shrugs smilingly. (What a crazy girl she is!)

"Don't you say that you don't care what people think of you then why are you fussing over it so much?" Nikita inquires. "Let it go."

"Because this is different." Inaaya says desperately. "I don't say such stupid stuffs Niki. I was there to confront him not make a fool of myself. I really, really don't understand how did I end up apologising, blabbering and then the final nail in the coffin was the effective, defective line." She emphasizes. "Horrendous."

"You're getting too worked up about this." Alisha states solemnly. "Just sit with us and chill."

Ignoring her words, Inaaya adds, "Not to forget, he didn't even respond to me. Not a single word. No, nope, nada." She shakes her head.

Alisha laughs and Nikita clicks her tongue.

"Isn't that good?" Alisha starts, catching Inaaya's attention. "He isn't going to tease you or anything. He seems like an introvert. He'll be too worried about himself to even think about it."

"I really don't get what are you fretting over? What's done is done, you can't change it. And if you're worried about the consequences then please enlighten me what are you actually worried about?" Nikita tilts her head and raises her brows.

Inaaya stares with a frown as she wonders about the consequences only to conclude that there's indeed no serious consequences. He isn't going to make fun of her. Too shy to do that. He won't look down at her or something. He just doesn't pass that vibe. Moreover, even if he does, she knows how to give him back and she definitely isn't someone who gets bothered by views of people who don't even matter to her.

"I- I actually don't know." She mumbles finally, her gaze falling to the ground below.

Inaaya looks up when someone throws an arm around her shoulders.

"Hello! What's up girls!?" Abhishek greets them enthusiastically which kind of throws Inaaya off-guard.

She looks at Nikita who's staring at Abhishek as she stares back at her. She grits her teeth. Not trying to be polite or subtle, she holds his arm and removes it from her shoulders and takes a step back. "Maintain distance." She tells the guy sternly.

"Woah... relax." Abhishek says, amusement dancing in his eyes. "I was just trying to be friendly."

"Don't try with me." She responds bluntly and wipes away the amusement he felt earlier.

Nikita hisses at Inaaya.

"Good morning Abhishek." Alisha greets him to dissolve the tension.

"Morning." He replies without any excitement. "Have a good day."

"Will meet you later." Nikita tells him as he passes her and he turns to look at her.

He stares at her for a couple of seconds and then replies. "Great then." He winks at her and leaves.

Nikita sighs in relief.

"Inaaya, that was seriously not needed." Nikita says disappointedly. "You literally spoiled his mood."

"And you know I don't like such behaviour. Being clingy and all. Neither am I interested in being friends with him just because now he's connected to you. I'm fine with having two friends." She huffs, picking up her bag from the bench. "Let's go to the class."

"Anyways," Alisha looks at Nikita with mischief. "So you and Abhishek?" She waggles her eyebrows.

"I don't know." She breathes. "I'm just going with the flow." Nikita replies as they walk through the corridor.

Inaaya removes her phone to check it after the second lecture when it was informed to the students that the professor will arrive 15 minutes late. She frowns when she sees the notification of a deleted message from Ayansh. She inquires about the same and her text is seen after few seconds but he doesn't reply. He simply goes offline, leaving her on seen.

Inaaya has a mind to call and ask him, pester him that what exactly is wrong with him, why does he keep leaving her on edge, what is it that he wants to say and isn't able to but she decides against it. She has already tried enough, isn't it? He has somebody managed to take up a lot of space in her mind, in her thoughts against her conscious will and she suddenly seems too aware of it. Aware that he doesn't deserve it so she ignores. Ignores his deleted message, ignores him.

Alisha and Nikita leave in the evening after the college ends. Inaaya was called for an urgent discussion with her group so she stays back. Half an hour later when she leaves, she doesn't expect to see Ayansh leaning against a bike, arms crossed over his chest, eyes settled on the earth. As if on cue, he cranes his neck and finally sees her.

A small smile of hope and relief makes it's way on his lips.

Inaaya stays rooted at her place. Too shocked to move, too surprised to say anything while he jogs towards her.

"Hey!" He pants.

Up closely, she notices the wet patches on his sky blue shirt, his strands of hairs sticking together and some falling on his forehead as well, tiny miniscule droplets on his face. The ground hasn't dried completely indicating that it had drizzled a while before.

"You were waiting for me?" She voices out, surprise evident in her tone.

"Yeah." He replies nervously scratching his neck and she almost smiles at him. "I actually was about to leave. Thought that maybe you didn't attend college today. I saw your friends leave earlier."

"I had some work so had to wait." She explains in short and again they're blanketed in silence, an awkward one.

"Uh— " Ayansh breaks it, "I actually wanted to give you something." He shoves his hand in the pocket of his trousers and removes an envelope that he had carefully wrapped in plastic.

Inaaya looks at his forwarded hand holding the envelope in confusion.

"I don't need money."

"It's not money." Ayansh titters.

She squints her eyes at the envelope and a moment later, they widen and she snaps them to look at him. "Don't tell me you wrote some shitty love letter." There's a threat in her tone and she stares at him in warning.

His own eyes widen in horror. "No," he denies immediately. "I— " he closes his eyes and takes a deep breath as he feels all his confidence that he had so carefully treaded dissipating. "I wanted to say something. I thought to say through text but couldn't. I just didn't feel it would do justice to what I'd to say so I wrote a letter." He completes without fumbling.

Inaaya looks at him dumbfounded and nods. "Okay." She says as she takes the envelope from his hand. She forces herself to say bye because she just feels a little too stunned to form a coherent response. Her eyes again fall on the bike and it nudges her. She looks back at Ayansh who's already looking at her.

"Is this your bike?" She asks referring to the BMW.

Ayansh simply gives a small nod in agreement and then adds, "I like bikes more than cars."

Inaaya hums in response and leaves for her piano classes.

It's almost nine pm when Inaaya gets back home. Her mom opens the door for her and smiles.

"Welcome back." She greets her daughter and Inaaya chuckles and hugs her briefly before making her way inside.

She was about to climb upstairs when an unwanted voice stops her.

"Inaaya," her dad calls from behind and she clenches her fist. She hates the voice, she hates the man.

Reluctantly, she turns around to look at him. Her gaze unwavering, her feet rooted, she tries to act normal.

"I wanted to talk to you."

Inaaya nods at him to continue. God! She loathes this. Any form of conversation with him makes her angry. Looking at him, into his eyes is enough to make her blood boil and heart crack.

Her dad takes a step forward and she instinctively takes a step back. As if sensing that, he stops in his track and sighs.

"Your classes will start in a couple of months. You need to prepare for your exams so you'll have to leave your singing classes. I hope you're aware." He says in a concerned voice and Inaaya is sure that if not for her mom present here, she would've snapped at the man.

Ofcourse she's aware! She isn't going to piano and singing classes because she has some special interest in it or is passionate about it. She's just escaping, escaping from her thoughts, escaping from him, keeping herself occupied so she faces him as less as possible. Is he fucking dumb? Ofcourse he isn't! She knows that and he knows that too. He's just trying to make small conversations with her, trying to mend the broken between them and she wants to laugh bitterly at the irony, at the fact that he still till date doesn't understand it's depth, it's impact.

Inaaya doesn't reply anything. She simply stares at him with unadulterated hate and regret. "I know." She finally says, turns around and dashes to her room.

She skips her dinner, lies that she had junk food on her way. Her mother and brother aren't convinced but she somehow manages to make them believe. Switching off the lights, setting the air conditioner at 24°C, covering herself with the duvet, she drifts off to sleep. No thoughts, no wandering, just escaping.

🥀

"I'm sorry— "

"No— "

"But you've to do it." The man pleads to the young girl.

"I- I can't." The girl whimpers. "Please no."

"I'm sorry." The man himself looks in pain. "But we don't have any other choice." He stares helplessly.

The girl shakes her head vigorously, stepping behind till her back hits the wall. Unstoppable tears flowing and tracing their path through her cheeks, begging for mercy.

"Please." The man croaks, his own eyes welled up. It was selfish of him, so so selfish of him but this was the easier way and as hard as it was, it was definitely easier than letting himself go through another round of suffering. "You love your mom and your brother, don't you? Think about them atleast." He tries to emotionally manipulate her.

The girl slides to the ground still shaking her head. She pulls her knees to her chest. Tears don't stop, sobs keep breaking. "Don't do this please. No. Please. No." She begs, whimpering and sniveling. She doesn't know whom to blame here but the situation demands her to suffer and that makes her think, maybe even believe that it's her fault. It was her fault to come here. All her fault.

The man kneels down in front of her and she tries to push herself further back if that's possible but it isn't just like the current situation. She feels helpless, utterly completely helpless. "Do you want them to go through pain?" He questions, looking into her eyes through his own tear stained ones, accusing her, making her feel selfish and miserable. "Do you want your brother to give up everything? His dreams? And what about you? What about your ambitions? Everything will slip away in a moment right before us. But you," he says desperately, "only you can stop it. You can save us, save your family."

She continues shaking her head. This feels too harsh, too unfair, too cruel. She feels suffocated. She finds it hard to breathe yet somehow she manages to. She feels like she's drowning yet somehow manages to keep herself afloat. Tears have stopped flowing, stopped begging as if they've given up.

"Please Inaaya." He requests, trying to cave her in his choice. "Everything depends on you," his voice is a light whisper, the words being carried by the wind. "Think about your brother, his hardwork. He would be broken to lose everything after being so close. Think about your mother. She has already faced a lot for you, hasn't she? Do you want her to go through something similar again?" He pushes her, he knows he's close to break her resolve, close to block the way before everything slips away from his hand. "Please agree."

And she feels she's dying a little with every moment yet somehow she manages to stay alive. She feels her destiny being too vicious on her yet somehow she manages to accept the fate.

So she replies, "yes."

🥀

"NO!" Inaaya screams as she wakes up, her hands reaching out to stop the girl from making that stupid decision.

"NO," she shouts again breathlessly. "No, no, no." She repeats to no-one in particular. Her heart is pulsating, her head throbs and despite the cold, she's sweating.

"No," her voice mellows down to a whimper as her vision turns glassy. She feels herself trembling. Clumsily with disorganised movements she manages to turn the lamp on beside her bed.

"No." She whispers, her heartbeats slowing down when the light illuminates the room enough, her fear subsiding. There's no one here. It was a dream, she reminds herself. It was the past, she tells herself. She's in her safe haven, her room.

But it hurts. It aches.

Her eyes sting with fresh tears. She doesn't want to remember that dreadful horrifying incident. She feels helpless just like she felt at that moment. Uneasy when the young girl's face flashes before her eyes as she finally agrees. She wants to stop her. She wants to scold her, tell her what an awful decision she's making but she can't. She can't change the past no matter how hard she wishes to. Her throat feels parched. She pours water into the glass, some of the content managing to slip onto the table just how everything slipped away the moment the girl agreed. Inaaya holds the glass with both hands as she brings its rim to her quivering lips and takes few gulps. She keeps the glass back on the table. She's too scared to sleep, too scared to meet the young girl again and watch her helplessly go through the events that unfold.

It's strange. She hasn't had a nightmare since a long time now. She had been successfully dodging the wrecked past and not letting its pieces catch upto her. She looks around for some distraction, anything that would help her to make through this night. Her eyes fall on her bag on the couch.

"I wrote a letter."

His words, his voice echoes in her mind. She swiftly wipes away her tears and gets up to walk to the couch. She unzips her bag and removes the envelope. The envelope wasn't sealed so she doesn't have to make an extra effort to take the letter out.

She hated how Ayansh had been in her thoughts in recent days way more than she would like and that too without much trying, without forcing himself in. In his own way which although is infuriating to her, he has managed to slip through the cracks without her notice. It exasperates her. It doesn't sit right with her. But right now, she didn't care. It wasn't about what she wanted and what she didn't.

It was about what she needed.

And she needed him. She needed him to once again inhabit her thoughts, carry her to somewhere far where the past doesn't try to pull her and help her escape.

So she takes his letter to the study table and sits on the chair as she starts to read it.

***

No proofreading so feel free to correct me if there are errors. The letter was supposed to be in this chapter itself and the flashback was never supposed to be anywhere but change of plan *winks*. I actually completed writing this chapter in one go which rarely happens so if you find it underwhelming then I'm sorry. I'll update the next chapter day after tomorrow most probably. Hope y'all are doing good and don't forget to hit the star button on the bottom left corner if you're liking the story :)

Also, exams in May sucks!

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