Chapter 8

NUNEW'S POV

The whole ride in the elevator was all silent. I heard him sigh many times and still holding my hands tight but not in a way that I would get hurt.

We both went out of the elevator as he continue to drag me to his condo. He put the passcode and when the door open he drag me in and push me to the couch.

He was breathing hard trying not to burst out his anger towards me.

"God why are you making my life so complicated." He suddenly sxhouted that makes me startled.

"What did I do wrong to you Nunu. Tell me?" He shouted once again. But I look down on my feet as I couldn't look at him any longer.

Then he suddenly knelt down in front of me. He holds my thigh and look at me but I look away at him holding my emotions in.

"Do you regret what we did that night?" He asks, that makes me look at him immediately, and the look he's giving me makes the tears I was holding fall rapidly on my face.

"Why are you crying? Does that mean you did regret it?" and I look away again. God, how can I talk to him in this situation. I don't want to end things with us badly, but that's were we are getting at.

"I never regret wanting you Hia." as I found my voice and talked to him for the first time while shaking my head. "What I regret is wanting someone I can't..have" as I bawl in hurt I am feeling.

Zee looks at me unbelievably.

"Wanting someone you can't have?" He repeat what I said with his brow furrowed.

"Nunu if you want me this much. You can have me as much as you want." He said but I shake my head.

Then he hold my face and make me look at him in the eyes.

"I can't Hia.. I. I can't" I said

"I love you Nunew." He said that makes me speechless.

"Not just a friend. I love you more than just a friend could, more than anything in this world." he confess, I cried even harder with his confession. I never imagined him confessing this way. God why is he doing this to me.

"No..no. Hia please don't do this.. " I beg him to stop his confession while I'm covering my ears.

He hold my hands and try to take it out my ears.

"Don't you feel the same Nunu" as tears stream on his eyes.

Then slowly he closed the gap between us and kiss me, and I felt like melting on his kisses as I slowly responded to him.

"I love you" he whispered between kisses that's making me want to throw all my inhibition again, but suddenly I remember my grandfather and what he wanted before he died.

Without anything I push Zee, making him stop.

"Stop Hia.." but Zee didn't as he continued to kiss me.

"You have to stop this now." As I find the strength to push him harder.

"Why are you resisting on me Nunu" he said looking at me confused.

"Don't you love me. Just say it. Just say that you love me and we can stop this." He said, but I can't say. I'll be hurting him even more. I can't tell the words as I know he would be heartbroken in the end and i can't hurt him even more.

"I'm getting married in ten day and that would never change. Everything is set. So please stop doing this."I said wiping my tears away

"Please Nunu, baby I beg you. Cancel the wedding. Don't marry Max. If this is all about making your grandfather happy. This is not right. There's another way" He try to beg but my decision is final. I'll marry Max and that won't change.

"My grandfather's happiness is the most important to me, Hia. So don't beg for something I don't plan on changing" and I hold back not to look at him as I might cry and change my mind.

"What about mine. Is my happiness not important to you Nunew?" He asked but I didn't talk anymore.

"What about what happened to us?" He asked again, and I bit my lip.

"What we did. Forget about it all." As I instantly stand up.

"What do you mean. I won't forget it." He said.

Then I made the decision and say the things that I know would end between us.

"What we did that night.. it was all because I needed someone to satisfied me and unfortunately you are the one who's there to satisfy my needs" i said in a cold voice. Zee went speechless looking at me unbelievably. I know I'm hurting him but I need this to stop. I need to make a lie to make him stop.

I sigh and gather all my strength and walk out of the door immediately leaving without looking back at him again.

**************

ZEE'S POV

I was with my fourth bottle of bear when I heard my door open. I want to hope that it was Nunew who came back, but who am I kidding it's already been three hours since he left. He won't come back anymore. He already said what he wants to say.

That night was nothing to him than a night of satisfaction. He was just using me to satisfy his needs.

I continue drinking as I heard Tutor and Net calls me. I didn't respond and was only drinking to just forget the pain for once.

They both saw me sitting on the floor of the bar counter.

"Phi what happened. Are you okay?" Tutor says as he went down and checked on me.

"Zee, bro. What happened to you." Net ask too.

I only look at them as my tears started to fall again.

Tutor immediately hug me, as I bawl and cry even more.

"It's okay Phi I'm here." Tutor says trying to comfort me. Net went down and rub my back. Tutor pull from the hug and look at me.

"I told you bro, he doesn't love me." I said as I felt tipsy.

"Now I know he was only using me to satisfy himself." as I look at Net.

"What are you talking about Zee." Net furrowed his brows and looked at me confused.

"I thought just because something happened to us, he might have feelings for me too. I mistook it and thought he loved me." I said as I chugged my beer. They couldn't believe what they heard as they were listening to me.

"But no he don't love me. He was only using me."I continue.

"Now that he gets what he wants from me he doesn't want me anymore" as I look at them both.

"Bro, something happened to both of you?" Net asked very confused. I nodded in confirmation.

"Now he doesn't want me anymore." I said as tears stream down. Net look at me feeling sorry.

"I shouldn't have come back Net. I wouldn't be this hurt if I didn't go to him."

Tutor and Net look at each other as Tutor continue to rubs my back trying to comfort me once again.

They know they can't do anything to make me feel better.

I continue to drink my beer as they both let me be.

************

NUNEW'S POV

I went back directly to the house after I came from Zee's condo.

My eyes are swollen from crying. Aunty Ja who saw me try to approach me but I ran immediately to my art room.

I walk to the left side where there is a big curtain, and draw out the curtains and another door was there. I opened the door and went inside and locked myself in there.

I cried as I saw my paintings of Zee. All painting are Zee's portrait. This is the only place I find solace when he wasn't there. Now I think that Zee wouldn't be here with me anymore this place would be forever solace for me. I cried as I remembered how he confessed to me.

How he said he loves me so much. I would have told him I love him too. If it wasn't for the promise that I'll make my grandfather happy before he dies. I would have love him freely. I would have told him what I felt for him for the longest. But that's of no used. There is no other important now than to make my grandfather's last day of his life be happy, even if my happiness would be at stake.

"What about mine. Is my happiness not important to you Nunew?" Zee's questions ringing in my ears. But I don't have any answers to that. How am I supposed to choose between the man I love and my grandfather who's going to die any soon.

I don't want to be selfish and choose the happiness we want, while my grandfather last day in the world would bring him sadness.

'How I wish to choose you Hia. Please forgive me for not choosing you.' as I thought while crying even more

"I would never ever forget you and your love my Hia." As I promise to myself looking at all of his image that I've been painting secretly.

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7 days before the wedding

Today is Nunew's graduation day. Everyone in their family came in the university giving Nunew their support to him.

But one person Nunew expected not to come, but at the same time hoping to see had never really came.

Nunew was one of the honor students along with Keng.

Max was there with their family for Keng too. Nunew knows Max doesn't just came for them, but he also came to see his lover who he expected to see.

Max been pleading Nunew to change his mind but he was too hard to talk about it as he would still said no to him no matter what. They had already talk about it and they can't just cancel it because Max found someone he loves.

Everything ended and everyone went to the party the both Kornthas and Keerati family had prepared for Nunew and Keng.

Nunew don't want to hope anymore as he knows it's already over for both of them, even their friendship.

Even if he smiles it never reached Nunew's eyes. He's not been good but what can he do. He had to endure everything, cuz this is what he chooses for himself.

"Congratulations again my grandson." His grandfather said as they were eating on a big table where everyone was enjoying eating and having their own conversations.

"Thank you grandpa." Nunew said smiling at him.

"I didn't see Zee today. Did he have other engagement?" His grandpa ask curiously but he stay quiet.

When his grandfather noticed that something was off he ask again. "Did you fight or something?" Nunew immediately look at him.

"No, grandpa he might be busy right now." He said as he was thinking Zee has maybe comeback to Europe again.

"He was never busy when it comes to you Nunew. There's something wrong right." He asked again and Nunew bit his lip trying not to share the conflict situation they both have with Zee.

But before Nunew could answer the door of the restaurant opened and the man they're talking about came in holding a bouquet of pink roses.

Everyone look at Nunew as they know Zee came to congratulate Nunew.

"Ohh this young man never fails to impressed me" Nunew heard his grandfather said, but Nunew didn't say anything and only look at Zee in shock, while Zeebwas then looking at him too. Nunew can see the loneliness on Zee's eyes.

After everything he said to him he thought Zee would never came.

Zee slowly came to Nunew while his mom that's on his other side say something.

"This man has never forget you." She said in low voice not wanting to be heard by others.

When Zee arrive on his side he instantly give the flowers to Nunew.

"Congratulations Nunu." Zee said smiling at him as it never reached in his eyes.

"Thank you H- Hia." Nunew stand and get the flower while he look at Zee in the eyes.

"Join us here Zee." My grandfather suddenly interrupted their gaze that lasted for minutes.

"You sit here son" his grandfather moves as he give his chair to Zee. Zee thank him and before he sitted he greeted everyone in the room who greet him enthusiastically.

One of the waiters came and give Zee another plate and utensils.

Zee stares at Nunew as Nunew stares at all at him. He felt happy that Zee came in this great day of his life.

Then Zee started eating while Nunew's grandfather and his father Chai who was sitting on his grandfather side as he ask Zee about the business he was being busy with in Europe and Zee answer happily.

When everyone finishes their dinner suddenly Max grandpa talks.

"The wedding of Max and Nunew would be in 7 days. I hope everyone is prepared then, right Pen" as he talks to Nunew's grandfather.

"Yes, it's already been prepared. I of you wouldn't be coming. Cuz I don't want" Pen jokes around but they all smile, except Nunew's parents, Nunew, Zee and Max and Keng who stayed silent as usual.

The conversation continues as they talk about the wedding preparation and what they prepared to wear on the day, while Zee just trying to hold back not walk out of the place as he can't take hearing everything about the coming wedding.

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NUNEW'S POV

Minutes after I was listening to the conversation I stand and excuse myself to the comfort room.

I get inside and wash my hands.

I felt wronged on everything I did right now. Hearing about the wedding felt like it's suffocating me. I am now thinking of my decision. I know this is wrong but what can I do?

The door opens and I look away as I see Zee came in. Zee walks to the sink and wash his hand while looking at me in the mirror.

"This is it.. You're going to get married." Zee said. I look at him immediately. This time he was grinning at me and I was confused about what he was thinking.

He walked towards me slowly as I stepped back he instantly wrapped his arms around my waist as I tried to push him away but he was too strong.

"What are you doing Hia. Someone might come inside" I said as I panicked looking at the door if someone would come and see us in this kind of position.

"Who would you be scared to see us Nunu, is it Max?" He said putting his face close to mine.

"Why don't we tell him about what we did?" My eyes went wide in shock. Is he seriously gonna do it?

"Let's tell him how you moan everytime I came in and out of you as I fill you up to the bream." I feel shiver running on my spine as he talk dirty about the night we spent together.

"Don't you dare do this Hia." As I'm trying to resist the desire that started to errupt in me.

"What Nunu. Didn't you say I satisfy you that night." He said again grinning widely as he saw my face getting all red.

"Don't you want it again. I can give you what you want" he said that make me hitch my breath feeling the sensation it builded inside of me.

"Stop doing this please, Hia. They might see us and my grandpa would know -" I tried to stop but he interrupted me.

"If he would know, then that would be good so he would be the one to cancel the wedding " he said.

All I felt and my anger and fear came rushing to me as I immediately push him hard.

"Are you crazy!" I shouted. I realized I was shouting and we might be heard outside.

"Don't you dare do it. Have you forgotten that my grandpa is sick, he might not take the humiliation and die early." I said in anger.

"Humiliation? You think what happened to us that night is humiliation?" He looked at me as if hurt was written on his face. Then suddenly I felt wrong with what I said. God that was not what I mean.

He came close and hold my arms tightly.

"Are you ashamed of what we did Nunew?" He ask angrily.

"You're hurting me Hia" as I pulled my hand that his been holding tightly.

"You're hurting me more" he said as his face was filled with anger and hurt. This is the first time I saw him this angry at me. See

"You're the one who wanted it first Nu, you're the one who pushed yourself to me. So why am I the one that needs to suffer on this.

I wanted to move on but you push yourself on me using me to satisfy that needs you have and then now you would say it's humiliation." And he immediately let my arms go.

"Fine you wanted this to stop. I'll stop now. But bear this in mind. What we did is not humiliating to me Nunew. I wanted as much as you do so I will never forget it. Even if you said you're only using me that night.I will never forget it." He said as he walk, but then he look back again.

"Even if you don't love me the way I do, at least I've gotten the chance to tell you before I let this all go." I was stunned and couldn't talk as he walked out of the comfort room leaving me there. I cry in pain as I what he said a while keep playing in my ears.

This is what I wanted. For him to let go and move on so why does it feel so hurt.

The door opens again and my dad came in. He saw me crying and immediately walked towards me and hugged me tightly.

Even if my dad doesn't really know what's been going on he can see that I am hurting. I want to be thankful that my parents were always there to comfort me when I needed, even if I'm not gonna be okay again.

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2 days before the wedding

ZEE'S POV

"Are you really going to leave Thailand Phi?" Tutor ask for many times. He really wants to make sure my decision is final.

"Yes, Nong I'm gonna be leaving and that's final. I'll just visit here from time to time" I said and put some clothes in my suitcase. He stayed silent and just sat on my bed while Net was leaning on the door looking at me.

I pull other clothes and stop when I see a red shirt that's in my cabinet. It's from Nunew. He left it a long time ago and I totally forgot to give it back to him.

"Are you really sure you're going to leave without saying goodbye to him" Net said.

"I don't think that would be a good idea Net." I said and pull the clothes out and take an empty box at the top of my cabinet.

"Maybe you can change his mind. Maybe there's a chance for him to love you. Don't give up so easily bro." Net said again.

"Nothing can change his mind Net, and I'm not giving up easily it's just that, there's nothing to fight on in the first place. There's never a chance on us. Even the friendship we had for a long time is over."I said sadly.

"But what if you're wrong. What it he loves you too. He just can't back out from the wedding because he's afraid to disappoint his grandfather." I don't want to be hopeful again and be hurt after.

"But I was right Net. He doesn't love me and that's one thing too. He doesn't want to disappoint and hurt his grandfather until his dying days." I said and crouch down to get something under my bed and saw Nunew's shoes.

God now I even remember the unforgettable night we had. I sigh deeply and pull the shoes out of the bed.

"I will be going back to you in Europe Net. That is final." I said in convection.

They both look at each other and sigh deeply.

"Then I take you both to the airport Phi." Tutor said.

"Sure Nong." I said and nodded.

I put Nunew's shoes on the empty box I get and I put in the clothes as well and cover it then I put it in the bedside table.

I'll be giving it back to him the day I fly back to Europe.

**************

1 day before the wedding

MAX'S POV

I'm here in my office trying to make my self busy. Tomorrow is the wedding day and every hour passes felt like I was slowly taken out an air to breathe.

I felt so stupid for everything happens but what can I do. Nunew won't back out. He doesn't want to cancel the wedding. I promise Nat but I am hurting him cuz I can't do anything.

I remember how I met my Nat. It was one year ago. He was a student who was working to provide for himself as he was an orphan who doesn't have anything in life.

He lives independently.

It was a usual busy day for me as I was invited by my ex college friend on the football team who was celebrating his birthday.

I came in a bar where they held the party and then I met him. The bartender of that night.

He was this cute boy who was only allowed to serve but not gonna serve you with another services in mind. He was to pure for himself.

I've known my fiance as a pretty handsome and cute one. But Nat was different for me. I never felt so comfortable like home when I started talking to him. He is someone I didn't know would be a constant part of me.

I find myself coming every night just to see him and talk to him. I felt happy everytime I got the chance to talk to him for the night as all my worries and tiredness I felt would fade away with just a smile from him.

Then one night I got drunk and something happened to us. It doesn't end there as we continue to see each other and everytime it happens all over again. Every night with each other's arms felt surreal to me.

Until one day I found myself realizing I've already fallen in love with him longer than I thought.

I confess to him thinking he would be forever mine but I was wrong he found out about Nunew being my fiance as he heard about it at school.

He got angry at me for keeping it from him. I feel awful for being a bastard and not thinking about what he felt. He didn't talk to me for months.

When I came to Nunew to fetch him as I promised to take him on a date that day. I saw Nat I tried to talk to him about my feelings but he got angry and slap me. Before I could talk to him more to explain further Nunew came and introduce himself to Nat as my fiance.

I thought it would end for both of us. So I thought of a way for him to come back to me. We talk things out when I came to him after Nunew's birthday. I promise to him that I'll cancel the wedding, but I failed. Nunew wouldn't change his mind. Now here I am can't do anything as I'm waiting for the one I love now ready to let go of me.

I was disturbed by my deep thoughts when my secretary knocked on the door.

"Sir. Mr. Wang is here" she said and I told her to let him in.

It's been 7 days since we last saw each other. It's like our friendship we're starting to drift apart since I don't know when. Maybe it's when he decided to further his other business in Europe.

Or maybe because the wedding had come closer.

Maybe he doesn't know, but everyone else can see him. He's to transparent with his love for Nunew and all of us who's close to them can see how he looked at him. He maybe didn't realize it.

It's just he's too coward to admit it. If he would just be brave to admit his feelings Nunew would have a changed of heart and decided to cancel the wedding.

This could have been better for all of us.

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That's it for today's update. See you on other days everyone.

I'll give you an update in no time..

And stay tuned for the most emotional chapter that's coming on your way..