Chapter 16

KOREA

"When would you learn James?" She started to scold him.

James who was sitting on the couch of his mother's office only stayed silent and listened to his mother who doesn't like what he had done to the woman she had set a date with for him.

If it wasn't that important he wouldn't ditch the woman and would stay even if the woman was too proud and loud of being an independent as she is. But because it's his brother who needs him he has to walk away just to make sure he is okay.

He's still worried about his brother's condition and he had to leave him there still not okay because of their mother. Why he didn't told her about Song Rin's condition just because. He doesn't want to worry their mother who had been through a lot.

"It's unacceptable James. You've been soo rude to Su Min." She angrily said again talking about his date.

"Are you just gonna stay silent and won't said anything." As she snorted looking too disappointed of her son.

"I'm so sorry Eomma. I'll send gifts to her for apologies." He then said. She sigh giving up to her sons attitude. She had known how his oldest would react to everything and she expected this.

"Fine, that would be better I guess, but you should apologize in person. Don't just send your secretary for that." She says and walks to her swivel chair.

Before she could sent away his son the door opens unexpectedly, as they both look at the one who intruded.

"Aren't you gonna say 'hi' to your grandfather, sonja (grandson)" the intruder said. James smiles seeing his grandfather walking with authority. A strong character the same as his mother.

"Good afternoon, Harabeoji (grandfather)." James said bowing down to the old man.

"How formal greetings you got there my sonja." His grandfather said walking towards him and embracing him as he do the same. Then he let go of James and look at his daughter.

"I'm just here to inform you that I already agreed to the investment for Wang's wine and liquor company." He said making her frown in confusion.

Seo hyung thought he wouldn't agree to invest to it as the other competitors told them about the cons on investing to that company.

"What made you change your mind Abeoji?" She ask while James was just listen.

"They came to me and offered something more great." He said.

"You should have told me. When did you meet with them?" She ask.

"A days ago. They came here in Korea. His sons are persistent just like him." He said. Seo hyung frown. Sons? That means Jiro Wang wasn't the one who talk to his father.

"So I agreed after I long persuasion they did." He said

"Abeoji, you could lost big on the company that's on the verge of bankruptcy." She stated.

"But I could turn that upside down Seo hyung." He said smirking. How can he be so sure? That's what she fear. His father would make an abrupt decision on his own.

"How could you be so sure?" She ask in a worry.

"Those kids are better than you Seo hyung. Did you know Zee Pruk Wang?" Soe hyung frown. Of course he knows that name. The youngest successful business man from Asia who was known for his luxury clothing brand all over Europe and USA.

"The moment I know who he is. I know I made the right decision to invest on his father's company." He said.

"His father's company? Zee Pruk Wang is Jiro Wang's son?" She was shock to hear it. She had known Jiro Wang who reigns in the wine and liquor business in Asia. If it wasn't for his nephews negligence his company wouldn't be on the verge of bankruptcy. So his son was now showing and trying to fix things for his father. So being that successful in the business world runs on their blood.

"Good thing I didn't listen to you." He said. Seo hyung sigh. Now he's starting. He would now blame her for almost losing away a very big opportunity.

"You know the rival company was the one who said something about the company Abeoji. That's why I told you about it. I didn't even know that Zee Pruk Wang is his son. They hide that to us."she said again

"That's what competitors would do, and you almost blow it. Tsk tsk tsk. So disappointing Seo hyung. You didn't even check on it carefully." He said making her look down on her desk.

Then he looked at James.

"You're getting thinner sonja(grandson). Did you even eat. Your skin and bones now." He immediately commented as he look at him from head to toe so worriedly.

James looks down on his feet embarrassed of his grandfathers comment. He sigh as he knows what would happen next.

"Can't you take good care of your son, Seo hyung?" He started to tell his daughter. 'there he goes' James thought worriedly.

"Abeoji (father) James has an eating disorder. You know that." She said.

"And you can't even fix that." He stated before he sat on the couch signaling James to sit beside him. James sighs deeply before he move and sat on the couch to.

"Why would I even bother to tell you on fixing your son when you can't even fix yourself, what more on fixing your son." He said bluntly embarrassing her in front of James.

"Harabeoji, it's not Eomma's fault." James try to interfere.

"But that's the truth my sonja." He said looking at James, as he shook his head in disappointment for his daughter.

She looks away, as he sighs holding back the anger she was feeling in the moment.

"It's disappointing how you tried to prove to me that you got it all in your hand when in fact you still couldn't get it, even at the tip of your finger Seo hyung." He continues now sounding like he's mocking her.

"When would you even stop with your madness Seo hyung? Couldn't you see how you failed to be a mother since you try to raise them. You even lost Song Rin years ago because you want to prove something. Your poor son, he stays with a toxic mother like you." He said as Seo hyung biting her lip trying to hold back not to talk back to him.

"Harabeoji, please. It's too much." James try to stop his grandfather once again.

"No, James, sonja. She had to know what's right or wrong. But I guess I failed to remind her that, all the time." He again continues fuming with anger.

"I thought you would have enough when Song Rin tried to take his life because of your stupidity." He shouted making his voice echoes the whole room.

"Aren't you gonna pity your son for once, huh Seo hyung? Song Rin suffers enough, and you still don't get it."

"Harabeoji." James try to talk.

"Do you want to see your son die again or you want another one to die too so you could realize what you did was all wrong from the beginning." Seo hyung this time couldn't take it anymore.

"Stop, please." As she mumbled. She doesn't want to hear those words again. She covered her ears doesn't want to hear him said something anymore. Shaking her head doesn't want to hear more.

"You're a failure to your own family Seo hyung." He shouted wanting his daughter to wake up from her madness.

"ENOUGH!" James stand shouting making his grandfather stop.

His grandfather look at James unbelievably. This is the first time he raise his voice on him. His the kind of kid that would ready to listen to anyone when he was young. Now he's old he's ready to shoot back to, when he knows someone is being too much.

"Harabeoji, you've stated what you want. Please, you should go back." James said in a calm way now.

"Are you chasing me away sonja?" His grandfather ask with a hint of sadness but he understands. His grandson couldn't bear to hear someone mocking his own mother that's why he act that way.

"I'll go visit you on your Villa in some time now Harabeoji. Please understand." He said bowing to him.

His grandfather sigh deeply before he stand slowly. He looks at his daughter back again before he looks at his grandson who's still bowing.

"Be sure to visit me some time okay." As he holds his grandson's shoulder. James raised his head and nodded. "Don't forget to bring Song Rin. You know I missed that little brother of yours." James nodded again.

"I'll be going now." He said and walk to the door. He look back again and saw his daughter still covering her ears like she was afraid of something.

He sighs deeply before he walks out of the room.

James immediately run to his mother and hug her.

"Eomma, it's alright. Don't listen to what harabeoji had said." As he hug her even tighter. Seo hyung couldn't hold back and cry in his son's arms sobbing painfully. She again reminded about the failure she had made. And for years she was still blaming herself for it.

If it wasn't for what she did Song Rin wouldn't do that to himself. Song Rin would not suffer and would not think of killing himself.

"It's all my fault adeul. He's right. Song Rin wouldn't have killed himself if it wasn't for me. James, my aduel you promise me. We wouldn't lost him to, right. You would make sure Song Rin would stay with us forever." As she held his arms pleading his son to do what he had promise to their family.

"You know I would do that eomma. Song Rin will never leave us ever again." As he hug her tighter.

For this families sake he would make it intact again just like it used to be back then. He can't let something crumble down the family his mother had tried everything to put back together.

***************

Thailand

"Pat, hon. Stop watering your flower and have your snacks and refreshment first." Chai called his wife Pat who was busy watering her new planted seed of flowers.

"Coming hon." As Pat put down the pot that she just examined and take off her gloves before she walk to her husband smiling.

"Thank you honey." Pat said kissing her husband on his head for a thank you before she sat beside him.

"This place is so peaceful." Chai said looking at the whole place that they had both five years ago.

They both had decide years ago to sell they're house villa in Bangkok and retire on the province of Phuket. Their company, they had also sold it and all their assets. Everything they sold it to the Wang as they know that they would take care of it more than anyone, and they know Zee would.

As for the past seven years they would visit Nunew every six to eight times a month and they also know that Zee would always visit their son. They were happy but sad that the most perfect man had never got a happy ending with their son.

"This two months we didn't see Zee's pink flowers." Pat said.

"Yes, I notice that too. Do you think he had found someone now?" Chai looking at his wife who's drinking her grape juice.

"If he does. I think it would be good for him." Pat says But Chai notice the sadness in her eyes.

"Pat.. He deserve to be happy. We can't be selfish and make him stay with our dead son forever. That's unfair." Chai says.

"I know Chai. You can't blame me for being sad. They should have been the one to be together. Sadly our Nunew is gone now and can't be with him just like I always wish to happen back then." Pat says putting down his drink.

"But you're right. Zee deserve to be happy and be with someone who he would love." She smile

"Yes, hon. He had suffered along with us too. Now all we need is to support Zee if time would come he can find someone he can be with forever." Chai sigh in a relief thinking life would be better for everyone if they would all live happily.

"I will support him hon. He's like a son to us to. and I can't be selfish. That man deserves the happiness in this world, to someone who is meant for him in this lifetime." Pat smile at his husband who was looking at his wife proudly.

He was proud she had become stronger after their son died, and that's where he was getting his strength to. To move forward together with her in this life.

"You two are being dramatic again." They heard Pen talk. Who was now on his wheelchair while a private nurse pushing him.

Pen's health have been deteriorating by the pass years making the half of his body died. Now Pen was just waiting for the time that he'd be leaving in this world and be with his grandson.

"You should rest in your room than be outside dad." Chai says.

"I have been resting the whole day if you didn't notice that Chai." Pen says looking at the flower of Pat that's blooming all over the place.

"If he was here. He would be happy seeing this beautiful place that you both created." Pen said sadly.

"He is seeing this for sure Pa." Pat says smiling. The trace of sadness was there but the happiness was more evident. Pen pause and smile thinking his daughter in-law was right.

They all stayed there watching as the flower shined brightly by the sunlight.

********************

ZEE'S POV

It's been two months since we came back from Korea and it has also been two months that i still haven't visited Nunew on his grave. Since we came back I couldn't bear to visit him.

Yes it's been months and for each passing days my guilt is eating me up even more. How could I think of visiting him if my mind was still on Korea.

To the person that look exactly like him. To that guy named Song Rin who's been running on my mind for the passed months. That is why I couldn't have the courage to visit him and talk to him just like the usual when my mind is full of someone.

I can't, I just can't take it. I'm just going to hurt myself and be a disappointment to him. I don't really know what is happening to me. I'm so confused.

The first time I saw that Song Rin I really thought I see a ghost. They may have different hair color but their face was the same so the same that I really thought it was Nunew that I'm seeing.

The way he looks was too similar.

But why would I be so foolish on thinking that he was Nunew when I know better where my Nunew really is.

My Nunew had already gone 7 years ago, and dead people won't come back to life.

Slowly the thought of him and the pain that I thought had gone already was now coming back to me. The painful and anguish reality that I have been fighting for many years.

But what really makes me so muffled and confused so much is the missing feeling I had for that person. That guy who look like Nunew. The stranger named Park Song Rin, and that is making me guilty even more on facing Nunew on his resting place.

I can't possibly be missing someone I didn't know, even if it looks similar to the one I love that is now dead. I can't possibly feel this way.

I sigh deeply drinking the beer in my hand.

"What is wrong with you Phi." Tutor angrily said as soon as he barged inside my house or should I say the Keerati's house.

"What is it Nong?" I ask lazily drinking some beer again.

"You're asking me? Really Phi?" He looks at me unbelievably. Yeah I know what he was talking about.

"Nong I'm tired let's talk next time." As I stand from sitting on the high chair of the bar counter.

"Are you just gonna run with your problems Phi.?" He said as I walk back to the spacious living room and continue to walk upstairs as he follows me.

"We've already make Mr. Park signed with the investment and everything is settled with dad's company." I said

"You're fixing dad companies bankruptcy, but you're abandoning your own company. Do you want to ruin it and be the same as dad's, facing bankruptcy." He said. I sigh and stop walking at the middle of the stairs. I look back at him.

"I don't know where this is leading us Nong. Even if I won't be working for months the company would go on and would not be bankrupt as what you try to imply, cuz we both know there are people I had trusted the most to run it smoothly and you're one of them Tur." I said making him pause.

I know he is just making reasons here and overly exaggerated.

"Tur if you're just worried about me. I'm telling you I'm fine." I said making him understand that I'm still fine. Am I?

"No you're not. If you are fine, I will not be here." He said. I turn around and walk back up again, as I ignore what he said

"See, you're ignoring me Phi." He said still following me to Nunew's room that is now I made mine.

"I know where you would want this conversation to lead us Nong. Stop it. I am okay here." I said walking inside my room.

"Okay? Is this what you called okay?" As he pointed an empty bottle of wine and glass on my bedside table, and also pointed on my messy bed.

"You are a clean freak guy. But here you are having a messy bed and all. Nothing of this is okay." He said to

"Can't I be messy sometimes Nong." I tried to reason out.

"Don't make an excuse. This is Nunew's bed and you're making it messed up." Tutor said again looking so helpless.

"No I'm not, and it's not that messy nong. I just didn't fold all the blankets."I said again.

"Then why haven't you visited Nunew since we came back." I stop and look away.

"This started happening when we came back from Korea. When you saw that guy who looks exactly like Nunew." There it is. Him slapping me again with the truth.

I sigh looking down on my feet. I can't just make an excuse about this. Whether I like it or not I should face this problem now. I can't just be guilty and never come back to him again. I'm drained by every pass months that I am not visiting him because of this.

I need to face this guilt and say my sorry to Nunew.

"You don't understand nong. I'm too ashamed and guilty of my self. He's dead and I know I accepted that. But when I saw that guy that looks exactly the same as Nunew. That guy named Song Rin. I can't explain what I was feeling that time nong." I said trying to explain myself.

"It's like Nunew was really alive. It's like he was there on front of me. It was like he was alive living in another place. If you didn't slap the reality on me. I won't be awake with the madness I have thought and done." As I sat on the edge of my messy bed.

"Now I'm too ashamed and guilty that I did this to Nunew. I can't face him nong. He's at peace now, but I'm here going back to the time that I can't accept his death. Can I be more stupid and fool nong." As tears escape in my eyes.

"If you feel sorry to him. Then go to him and tell him. Don't just hide here and be eaten up with guilt. You didn't do anything wrong. You just mistaken someone as him." He try to make a point.

"Even I, had mistaken him as Nunew, Phi. And maybe with anyone who knows Nunew would also mistook that Song Rin if they saw him too. And it's normal" Then I look at him.

But if I tell him about the missing feeling I have for that Song Rin would he still say it's normal?

"Face this Phi. Don't be like this. You said then that you won't dwell on sadness and guilt anymore. So stop dwelling on that guilt." Yeah he's right.

"It just happened that in this world there's someone who could look like the person we love and maybe the same like us to." He continues.

"Why would you always be the one who could talk some sense on me." I said.

"If not me. Who would want to be talking some sense to you then." He grinned and I smile back at him.

"And Phi, I'm very sure you won't see that guy again. So don't be guilty anymore." As he patted my back.

"Fix yourself Phi, it's still afternoon and still early. You should visit Nunew today." He said.

"I should." I said standing up, patted Tutors shoulder before I walk to my shower room.

"And you should report back to work starting tomorrow or I would take over on your company." He jokingly says. I laughed of what he said.

"You can't take it. I'm still alive." I shouted at him from the shower room.

"Are you challenging me?" He shouted back making me laugh so hard.

Now I'm thinking this is the first time I have laughed again since we came back from Korea.

What a tough month it is for me.

I begin to shower and prepare myself to go to Nunew.

+++

As soon as I got out from my car I immediately went to the backseat and got the bouquet of pink roses. It was exactly 69 pink roses as I've counted the days since the time I went to Korea tell the day that I didn't visit him.

I sigh and walk to his grave feeling nervous of how I should talk to him. I really feel ashamed of myself now. How can I be here when I just disrespected his death months ago. I'm being soo stupid really.

When I arrive at his grave I notice a flower that I have never seen before. It's a pink carnation flower.

I frown looking at the fresh flower. Seems like it's been put there just now.

I look around and see if there's someone I know that came, but there's no one there other than those who take good care of the graves.

I look at the flower again thinking who might give these flowers to Nunew. Who would visited him. Nunew's parents would either give him vibrant color of different kinds of tulips or roses and it all comes with a letter that I would always read for Nunew.

This pink carnation is a new one. Maybe it came from his friends.I sigh and shrug it off as I move it to the upper side of Nunew's grave.

Then I crouched down and put the flowers I buy on the side of his grave before I look up the sky.

"Sorry for coming here just now. I'm so late visiting you Nunu. Can you forgive me?" I started looking back at his grave.

"I don't have any excuses on why I only came now. Many things had happened in the past months Nunu baby, and I'm ashamed to even tell this to you." I got one flower from my bouquet and placed it on his grave.

I sigh deeply before I started. Even if he's now dead I'm still nervous to even tell this to him. He can't say anything but realizing that I'm being selfish and not being true to him.

"I wish I didn't see him that day baby Nu. This would have never happened to me now if I didn't go there." I said, talking about my encounter with Park Song Rin.

"But I already did see him. I saw how he looked and sounded exactly like you. If you saw him for sure you would never believe how you look exactly the same Nunu, except the hair." I said smiling as I imagined Song Rin's looking exactly the same as Nunew.

When I realize that I was smiling I instantly pause of what I'm doing. I sat on the grass feeling the guilt that started to build inside of me. Then I run my fingers into my hair and clutch it tightly. How am I so stupid and crazy right now?

"Nunu baby I'm so sorry. I don't know what is happening to me. I shouldn't have been thinking of him right now but that's what I'm unconsciously doing." I said now feeling so helpless.

I should only feel this missing feeling and happiness with my Nunew but why am I feeling with that stranger. No this can't be. I only saw him once but I'm missing him now like crazy.

Shit this is really not good.

How should I fix this?

"What should I do Nunu. I can't feel like this with anyone other than you." As I look down on his grave trying to find an answer.

Maybe I'm just feeling this cuz they look the same. I'm missing him cuz I'm picturing him in my mind as Nunew. Maybe that's it.

So I must stop thinking of him for once. I'll never gonna see that face again so I should be stopping this craziness.

That should I do.

_____________________________________________________________

There are many speculations on who really in Song Rin. But who is he really and what happened to him.

Soon everyone would figure out who he was.