Savage Little Lies: Chapter 36

Sloane

Dorian took me on a few dates after that, and they were ones I actually agreed to. These, as it seemed, appeared to be legitimate gestures by him, so I was game. He took me to the museum and even to the park for a picnic on the swings.

He even packed the lunch.

My favorite date, by far, was the art gallery, and Maywood Heights had several. I recalled Ares saying his dad owned a few of them, and Dorian confirmed the one we went to was established by Mallick Enterprises. We didn’t run into Ares’s dad or anything, but Dorian said the gallery was his. It was huge, and I loved it. I also liked that I got to show Dorian a part of myself and my interests. He asked about them a lot, and though I told him things, I found myself guarded.

It was still hard for me after everything that had happened, and I wasn’t so sure I was ready for all this. I cared about Dorian, sure.

I mean, I really fucking cared.

I found him in my thoughts during my very first breaths in the morning, and hell, he appeared at the last breaths too. He circulated my thoughts constantly, and if that wasn’t more than care, I didn’t know what was. It wasn’t a question of whether I had feelings for him or not. It was if I was ready to have them. He’d screwed with my heart something crazy, and the last time I’d been vulnerable with him had kicked me in the ass. I was still sore from our last fall together.

Fear was something else, wasn’t it?

If Dorian had picked up on my reservations, he never mentioned them. He simply took me on dates, and not once did things get physical. I mean, he touched me. He held my hand, and we kissed (a lot) in his car both before and after school.

Sometimes even during.

Yes, there was a lot of kissing, but no fucking. He surprisingly hadn’t pushed for that, and I found myself wondering every day if he really had changed. I wondered if he was truly putting himself out there and not rushing things. Maybe he actually was serious about this, about us.

Maybe he won’t hurt me again.

This thought was also a constant in my mind and something I thought about before meeting him at his locker that day. Sometimes he met me at mine, but today, he’d said he wanted to take me on another date after school.

I found myself rushing just to get to him after last period, and I knew right away how that sounded. Again, I pushed myself past the thoughts. I had to in order to remain sane.

He wasn’t by himself at his locker, his back to me. Ares had a shoulder lounged against the lockers with him, and I barely saw the two at all in the crowded hallway. People were rushing around to get out of school.

“It’s time, don’t you think?” I heard Ares say as I strode up, and I hadn’t been seeing a lot of him these days. At least, not as much as we had been. Since our project had wrapped up, I typically only saw him and the rest of Legacy at lunch. I’d recently started eating there with them and Bow, and my brother joined us too when he wasn’t trying to catch up on school work in the library. Ares sighed. “We need to rope her in. It’s time.”

Dorian braced his big arms, his head shaking. He still had his back to me when I stopped behind him. I frowned. “Rope who in?”

Dorian swung around, an easy smile gracing his lips. He’d started doing that, smiling whenever he saw me. It was as if the lazy grin was instinctual, and its presence gave me more butterflies than I’d readily admit.

“Snooping on me, little fighter?” Framing my face, he angled my mouth in his direction. “Why you always so bad?”

He growled before sealing our lips and biting mine. His teeth embedded in my flesh tingled down to my toes and had Ares rolling his eyes by the time the dark prince let go of me.

“She’s always good for that,” Ares announced. He hooked one of his long arms over his open locker. I recalled he had caught me snooping before, so I let him get away with that. He tipped his chin. “Sup, little?”

As well as that. I shook my head. “Nothing, Wolf,” I countered. This made him chuckle, so I obviously got away with that. I smiled. “And what are you guys talking about? Bring who in?”

The pair exchanged a glance before Ares closed his locker.

Ares bunched his jacket sleeves up. “Imma see you two around, then,” he said, but then pointed at Dorian. “I’m assuming you’re still ditching practice today.”

Dorian’s brawny arm hooked around my waist, which apparently gave Wolf his answer. I didn’t know he was ditching practice for whatever we were going to do today.

Wolf nodded. “Have fun, then.”

His statement accompanied a look in Dorian’s direction. Ares started to pass us, but stopped. He frowned. “Your hair always like that?”

It took me a second to realize he was talking to me and another to figure out what the fuck he was talking about.

I supposed I had worn my hair differently today, curly. Thick and frizzy curls hadn’t held up today, and I shrugged. “I’m naturally curly. I just usually straighten it.”

I’d been running late this morning, which was the only reason I hadn’t. I guessed the only reason he hadn’t seen it in all its frizzy glory was because I’d worn a messy bun at lunch. I’d tugged my hair free toward the end of the day.

Ares opened his mouth, as if to say something, but in the end, he didn’t. He simply told Dorian he’d catch him later, and after I texted Bru he could go on home without me, I joined Dorian in his car. My brother and I had been driving to school together since he didn’t have his football obligation anymore.

“So, uh, you going to keep pretending like I didn’t ask you guys a question?”

We were driving by the time I asked, and the question caused the dark prince to cock his head at me.

“You’re relentless as fuck, you know that?” he stated, his fingers tapping on my knee. His meaty hand had found a permanent place on my thigh, and I let him since I fucking liked it. Long fingers massaged through my jeans. “Wolf and I were just talking.”

“Talking about what?” I cocked my head, and he smiled.

“Wolf wants to bring you into our crew.” He adjusted in his seat, his eyes on the road. He glanced my way. “Be one of us, I guess.”

One of us.

I folded my arms. “You mean your little Court?” I laughed. “You guys must be on crack.”

I wasn’t interested in being in anything that had to do with that, whether they did hazes still or not.

Dorian grinned. “The Court isn’t a bad thing. Hasn’t been for a long time.”

“How do you explain what happened to Bru?”

“A mistake.” His expression was serious, his nod firm. “And something Wolf has owned up to. He knows he messed up.” He shrugged. “He thought he was looking out for me. The way he went about it was fucked, but he did. He was being a brother and supporting me, but stuff like that doesn’t usually happen. Not anymore.”

I recalled my own conversations with Ares. He had believed I was a threat.

He’d even said he was jealous.

We really had come a long way, our ease together in the hallway definitely saying that and not to mention all the stuff he’d done before for my brother.

“The Court is about brother and sisterhood.” Dorian raised a hand. “We’re a community.”

“A community?”

“Yeah.” He draped his arm around me, that chunky gorilla ring with the ruby eyes below his knuckle. “It’s about unity, and it’s not bad. Members look out for each other and do a lot of good for the city. We volunteer and stuff.”

“You volunteer?”

His grin was wiry. “Some of us more than others.”

I played with his fingers over my shoulder. “You want me to be a part of that?” I swung my gaze over. “Your community.”

He almost made it sound like another family.

Dorian’s stare felt weighted in my direction in that moment. He sat up, and when he did, he outlined his lips.

“I want you with me,” he said, glancing over. “I want you with us, yes.”

At this point, all I could tell him was that I’d think about it. I still didn’t know how I felt. All his talk about community came across really strong.

Especially with that last bit.

I knew he wanted to be with me, but whenever he kept saying things like that, it scared me. Hard not to with our history.

Maybe he picked up on that because he mentioned nothing more about the topic as we drove. I asked him where we were going a few times, but he kept the information tight-lipped.

I got an indicator when we pulled up to his gated community.

I sat up. “We’re going to your house?” I asked him this as we passed through the gate. At this point, the area looked way different. For starters, there were no creepy reporters, and Bow mentioned they were starting to lay off. I faced him. “Am I meeting your family?”

My swallow was hard, but his chuckle was jovial.

“Well, it’s a good fucking thing you’re not with the way you’re looking at me,” he stated, taking my head and mashing ticklish kisses and bites into my neck. I swear he was such a dude the way he manhandled me. He bumped a laugh. “And no. We’re just hanging out. My parents are still out of town.”

“They coming home soon?” His neighborhood was gorgeous, nothing but old-timey castles, and actually kind of reminded me of Bow’s neighborhood. Most of those properties in her neighborhood were more modern, though.

Dorian didn’t say anything, and I swung my gaze in his direction.

He rubbed the steering wheel, the rubies on his ring flickering the sun. “Yeah, soon.” He studied me. “So no pressure today, yeah?”

I was glad for that, nodding.

He took my hand again, pointing out some of the history of the homes. Some pretty famous people had settled down here in the past, and that surprised me. According to Dorian, his neighborhood had had a president or two come through it and loads of influential people.

This didn’t surprise me since Bow had mentioned stuff like this when I’d first come to the city. Dorian kept us moving, and surprise, surprise, he lived in probably the biggest castle in the neighborhood. It was old smoky brick, the spokes high. It had dark shutters too, which made it look like a spell had been placed on it, but kind of in a cool way.

The establishment appeared perfect for a dark prince, and Dorian waved his hand at a couple of women watering the hedges next door. The two were outside another old-timey property, their hands raised high.

“Old family friends,” he said, then later explained his dad grew up in the house Dorian lived in today. Anyway, the women next door happened to be the mothers of his dad’s best friend, Jax. Jax was both Dorian’s god dad and Wells’s real dad, which made the women next door Wells’s grandmothers.

I found it hard to keep up with all the family Dorian had and all the ways in which the Legacy boys and Bow were connected. It took a second to sink in that we were really at the dark prince’s house, but once we were in his garage, reality hit something good.

He was sharing himself with me again, a big something. He came around and opened the door for me, and after he helped me out, he pinched my chin.

“Try not to look completely scared shitless.” His eyebrow arched slow. “I told you my parents are out of town, and even if they weren’t, they aren’t those parents. They’re cool, and they wouldn’t grill you. They’re not like that.”

The way he spoke of them, with so much admiration and even adoration… I’d never thought that about them anyway. My reservations came from internal pressures I’d manifested.

If he was doing all this, what did he want? But one better…

Was I ready to give it?

“I’m not scared.” I nudged him away, but he caught up easy.

He threw that heavy arm on me again, and though I nearly fell to the floor every time, I’d be lying if I said I hated the possessive nature of it. He kept me close, and I didn’t know what that said about me since I was enjoying the possession.

“I find that hard to believe.” He opened the door. “I mean, my mom still remembers that pregnancy test.”

I’d forgotten about that. I swallowed. “Is she still upset about that?”

His shrug was passive. “She’s over it, but she hasn’t forgotten about it.” He frowned. “Actually, my ass got handled for it. I don’t think you ever came up. They were more pissed at me for doing something to you that made you do it in the first place.”

Okay, so I really liked his parents. I grinned. “Well, that makes me feel better.”

“I’m sure it does.”

He said the words as he got assaulted from the front, a large brown Labrador racing into the entryway. The dog was all over him, and he immediately dropped to the floor with it.

“This is Chestnut,” he said, the dog leaping at him. “She’s my mom’s dog, but since I came home early, I brought her back. Didn’t I, girl?”

Um, so he was being super cute with this dog, and I’d never seen him so, well, normal. He was grinning and laughing with her, and I felt like had I not been standing here, the two would be on the floor rolling around together.

“This is Sloane,” he said to her, holding her by the collar. He eyed me. “You okay with dogs?”

It was nice that he asked, and since I was, he let her go. She, of course, attacked me, and though I fell on my back, I laughed too. She was really friendly.

Dorian continued to smile as he watched us, letting us play for a bit before he patted Chestnut away. He helped me up and asked me if I wanted his butler to make something for us.

“Ronald’s an excellent cook,” he said, and I had to roll my eyes. Of course, this boy had a butler. I declined the offer since I wasn’t hungry at the moment. I actually wanted to see the rest of this balling-ass house, but Dorian said we had to tour the garden first.

“It’s my favorite place,” he stated, opening the door to something out of a film. It was like another world out there, huge hedges and cobblestone walks. Dorian smiled. “It was my grandmother’s before she passed.”

This house had obviously been with his family for a little while, and Chestnut came with us as we headed outside. Dorian tossed a ball into the sea of flowers and tall trees, and Chestnut raced after it every time.

“Charlie and I used to play explorers out here,” he said at one point, Chestnut coming back to him. He threw the ball again, and the pair of us took a seat on a concrete bench. A large koi pond surrounded it, and I watched the fish weave about it with their long tails. Dorian put his hands together. “Seems like so long ago.”

It seemed easier for him to talk about his uncle here, but only in the natural sense. He tossed the ball to Chestnut between sentences as if to distract himself.

“We all played, the guys, Charlie, and me.” He drew the ball back, following through with a long toss. “Had a blast back then.”

“Sounds like it.” I didn’t know what to really say.

And he was doing it again.

He was letting me in, and when Chestnut came back this time, he didn’t toss the ball.

“I’m really trying, Noa.” His fingers ghosted along my leg, his smile slow. “I don’t know how to do this, and I don’t want to fuck it up.”

He didn’t elaborate, but I wasn’t sure he needed to, and he was wrong. He was good at this, trying.

At least way better than me.

“I want to talk to you. I want to…” He touched my fingers. “It’s just hard, you know? I wish I was better at this.”

Seeing him struggle tightened something in my chest. “We don’t have to talk about anything you don’t want to talk about.”

“But I do want to.” His lips pulled tight. “It’s important, and Wolf’s right. I…”

“Master Prinze, I took the liberty of making you and your guest buffalo wings. Yours are vegan, of course. I made two options.”

Dorian angled around, his butler Ronald standing at the hedges leading into the garden. I hadn’t met him yet, but I assumed this was him. Dude wore a suit, white gloves, and everything.

The man put his hands together. “Would you like me to lay them out anywhere specific for you? If not, I can leave them in the kitchen.”

Dorian smiled. “I’ll take care of it, Ronald. Thank you.”

This world he lived in was so different from mine. This was old hat for him.

We were so different.

He said we were right, but how could we be? I mean, he was privilege and butlers, and though my brother and I had Callum, we really didn’t. Callum was temporary, and I could never be privileged.

Did I ever want to be?

Dorian faced me in that moment, taking my hand, and things felt really crowded despite us being outside.

“Actually, could we get the wings?” I shrugged. “I think I’m hungry now.”

This would take some of the pressure off him too.

Dorian didn’t get up right away, but eventually, he waved Chestnut in. She trotted on after us, and Dorian and I ended up taking the food to his room.

He had his own wing.

Apparently, he lived in the west, a real honest-to-goodness prince. He left Chestnut out to play in the house and started a movie on a flat-screen above the fireplace.

Once he got that going, the pair of us lay on a bed made fit for a king. He had draping around it, the bedding silk, and he even had his own mini library. The walls surrounding the fireplace were lined with books, and when I asked him about them, he said he’d read them all. Before this moment, I figured he might just be a dumb jock, but I didn’t know why I continued to assume things about him.

We lounged on his bed for nearly half the movie before he touched me, and like all those other times, I felt no pressure for sex. He merely took my hand, and it was me to initiate the kissing. His hand moved to my hip then, but even with it, he didn’t take things too far. Could I tell he wanted to? Sure. His kisses grew hot, hungry. His tongue delved into my mouth with delicious intent, but eventually, he growled and pulled back. He was physically restraining himself and so obviously for my benefit.

Reason #16: I have issues with anger and control.

He seemed to have corrected them both. I felt no danger with this boy. At least, not physical danger. I felt like the dangerous one at this point. I wanted to lose control, his chest hard, his body heated and solid above me.

“I want you,” I said, my lips pinching his. This was so hard for me to admit. I didn’t want to admit how much I wanted him.

Dorian’s nose brushed mine, his fingers ghosting across my neck. A devilish smirk pressed into his full lips. “You have me, little fighter. Always have.”

But I didn’t. Not always. I gripped his shirt. “Make love to me.”

And he needed to do it before I changed my mind. He had to before I pushed him away and got too in my head again.

He scanned my eyes, as if questioning the validity of what I said.

He didn’t question long.

On his knees, he caged me beneath him, his tongue probing and hot when it dove into my mouth.

“Tell me what you want.” His teeth lodged into my bottom lip, tugging. “Tell me so I know how far I can go.”

His kisses slowed, almost hesitant. He hovered above me, and when he touched my face, waiting, I knew he was serious about what he said. He didn’t want to push me, and I guessed I couldn’t blame him.

He was the first to admit how fucked up he was, but I was too. I was because I almost wanted him to be fucked up. If he was the screwed-up one, I wouldn’t have to think about myself.

He wasn’t the only one who had control issues.

I had a history of fighting and for a reason. I got people before they could get me. If I did that, they couldn’t hurt me, and that was how I always operated.

I needed Dorian’s dark and beautiful void. I needed it to mask my own issues. We both very much loved power.

Which made his darkness light for me.

We did work well together, almost too well.

“Tell me.” His thumb brushed over my lip. “Tell me what I can do. I’ll do anything, Noa.”

He covered my mouth with a hard kiss, and his dress shirt bunched in my fists.

“Fuck me,” I gritted, my back arching, my hips rising. “Get me out of my head.”

I wanted him to push me.

I wanted him.

Gripping my jaw, Dorian forced my mouth open, his kiss aggressive, carnal. His hand captured my neck, and I gasped for breath, the adrenaline charging my veins.

“I want it to hurt,” he announced, pinning me beneath him. His weight sunk me into the bed, his eyes wild, his tongue in my mouth untamed. “I want you raw. I want it painful until I can’t feel anything and you can’t think. I want you mine, Noa. All mine and no one else’s.”

My breathing labored, a fluttering inside my chest.

“What else?” I was stupid to ask the question, his lips pinching mine apart.

“I want it to be rough. Sweet.” His mouth pressed hard, his hold on my neck tighter. “Because that’s how you feel. That’s how you feel every fucking day.”

I gasped.

“I want to make love to you,” he rasped, his cock probing through his pants. “Because that’s what you deserve, but reason number whatever the fuck is I hate that I want it. I hate that I want your taste, and that I do want it to feel good too. I hate that I need you.”

“Why?”

I was trembling now, and he stopped kissing me. His fingers bunched my curls, his thumb trailing down my cheek. It came away wet, and I knew why.

He always was so good at making me cry.

“Because hating you would be easier, smarter.” His jaw shifted. “I could let go of this, of you, and not give a fuck.”

He was being so honest.

His throat jumped. “Hating you is easier than loving you,” he said, his nostrils flaring. “And you loving me back…”

Back?

His thumb brushed my cheek, and the digit came away wet again.

“Is this,” he said before his mouth touched the tear’s trail on my check. He closed his eyes. “It might always be, but I don’t fucking care.” His tongue drew down my skin. “I can’t fucking care.”

He licked away tears before unbuckling his pants.

“I can’t care, Noa.” Leaving the pants open, he unbuttoned his shirt. “I won’t care.”

He tugged me to him by the thighs and didn’t even take my panties off before shoving my skirt up and burying his face between my legs.

“This is mine,” he ground out, the cry falling from my lips. I wriggled against his face, and he growled. “This is mine, and I don’t fucking care. I’m going to have it. You’re mine.”

His.

He nibbled my lower lips through my underwear, my chest hiking with hard pants. I wanted him to stop. This was starting to hurt, but not physically. My stupid goddamn heart was taking the brunt of this.

Especially when he slowed down.

He kissed me down there, light and feathery kisses across my sex. He hooked my panties over and his tongue did a sweep between my lower lips.

“Please,” I whimpered. “Please stop.”

It hurt, killed being this close to him, physically, emotionally. It did, and my chest tightened, his hair bunching in my hands.

“No,” he rasped, warm breath so gentle against my sensitive flesh. “No, Sloane. I can’t. I won’t.”

He continued to kiss me, making love to me between my legs. I’d told him to make love to me, but I hadn’t thought it was possible. He was too hard, too callous.

Too perfect.

My lids squeezed down more fucking tears, bucking when his kisses picked up. Dorian held me to his mouth, his fingers embedded in my thighs and his tongue fucking me.

“You’ll come for me,” he commanded, and I did so damn hard I thought I’d pass out, my back arching off his bed.

He funneled me down, lapping at my sex hungrily. He didn’t wait for me to finish before he tugged his shirt off and pressed that huge body on top of me. He pumped himself in his pants, grinding against my stomach.

“Taste what you fucking do to me.” He kissed me hard, solid. He swept my own juices across my tongue. “Taste it, Sloane.”

I did, trembling. I cradled his head, and he opened my blouse.

His kisses were even softer there, one by one softer. I didn’t think I could fucking take it. It was easier to do this, be with him, when he was fucking me and making it hurt. I didn’t know how to deal with anything different.

He wet my nipples through my bra, sucking and letting them pop out of his mouth. He didn’t stop until I had my legs hooked around his waist, and I was bucking against him again.

Only then did he strip me bare, only then did he push his pants down his muscled legs. In boxers and on his knees, he appeared godlike.

And almost sad.

He studied me, his hand sliding up to my neck. His fingers flicked my curls. “You’re so beautiful.”

I couldn’t breathe, my chest tight. “Shut up.”

His jaw shifted, his head shaking. “You’re beautiful.”

I swallowed, letting him lean over and claim my mouth.

“Beautiful,” he whispered, his eyes closed. “So goddamn beautiful.”

It sounded almost as sad as he spoke, his kisses rough and angry. Shoving his boxers down, he put a condom on.

“I love you.” He tongued my lips apart, arching hard inside me. “I fucking love you.”

The tightening in my chest constricted harder, the burn matching the one between my legs. I wanted to love him…

I wanted to not love him.

He consumed me way more than body or mind. We were ingrained together with no beginning or end.

I hugged him to me, gasping when his lips pinched kisses over my arms. We came about the same time, and he held my arms while he milked me into my high.

“Fucking fuck.” His teeth bit down on my flesh, my eyes rolling back. His hands braced me to him, his hold tight and unyielding. His nose buried into my neck. “Fuck.”

I said nothing, unable to say anything. The dark prince had said he loved me.

He’d said it twice.

I had no words, but when Dorian secured his big arms around me, it seemed he had enough for the both of us.

“Tell me a reason,” he said, his brow touching mine. “Just give me one. I… I need to feel not so fucking crazy.”

He hadn’t asked me to tell him I loved him back, but for some reason, what he was asking felt harder.

“You.” I hid my face in his arms. This was my biggest reason for being fucked up. “You are my reason.”

The air stayed silent between us, and as he held me, he gratefully didn’t make me say I loved him too.

I didn’t think he had to.