Chapter 46

Caturix was absent from his room, which didn’t surprise Shemika. She knew he had responsibilities to attend to, especially after spending the last few days with her. His room was unlocked, which made it easy for her to enter. She spent her time casually exploring his space. It was distinctly masculine, dark and alluring, much like Kisa’s room.

Kisa, the little white cat, followed her around like a shadow.

When Shemika finally settled on his couch, Kisa found a spot on her lap. The cat kneaded her thighs before settling down. Shemika couldn’t resist the urge to pet the fluffy creature. She’d always wanted a pet, a companion to keep her company. The life of a she-wolf was a solitary one. She’d always longed for a sibling, someone to confide in and share a deep bond with. Ylenia wasn’t really her friend.

No one ever had a sibling. It was a miracle if anyone conceived outside of a mated pair. Mother Luna wanted her children to reproduce with their destined mates.

This thought led her to Colette and Sorin. She wondered if they’d managed to conceive yet. They’d been trying before she’d left months ago. The thought filled her with sadness.

She’d been looking forward to seeing Colette pregnant, to be part of the birth, to hold the baby. What if she missed it all because she’d wandered into the wrong territory? She was angry at herself. She’d been imagining a little pup, a baby with dark curls and icy blue eyes, just like their mother.

Despite her better judgment, she found herself thinking about Caturix’s child. A baby with dark hair and golden eyes. A deep longing filled her, a desire for something she’d never wanted before. She didn’t want Caturix’s children. Or did she?

Her hand moved to her stomach, caressing the empty space within her. The organ that served no purpose.

“What are you doing here?” a voice suddenly asked.

Shemika would’ve jumped, had she not recognized the deep voice. She didn’t turn to face Caturix. “I just came for the pussy,” she said, lifting Kisa from her lap to nuzzle the cat’s nose.

If she’d turned around, she would’ve seen him smile. A warm grin spread across his face at her words. He closed the distance between them and took Kisa from Shemika, beginning to pet the cat.

“I thought I said I would return to yours tonight,” he said, trying to hide his happiness at finding her in his room. He’d thought he was imagining things when he’d detected her familiar apple crisp scent.

“Maybe, not sure. I wasn’t paying attention to you,” she replied nonchalantly, inspecting her nails.

He tried not to smirk at her words. She was a defiant little vixen. He’d never tolerated such disobedience in his past relationships. No, ~associations~.

“Have you eaten, Mika?” he asked, choosing to ignore her insubordination.

“Yep,” she replied.

“I need to speak with you about your pack mate,” he said, moving to sit beside her on the sofa.

“What pack mate?” She looked at him blankly.

“The man down in the cell,” he clarified.

Oh, shit. ~Simu~. She’d forgotten about him. She felt terrible.

“What about him?” she asked cautiously.

“He confessed why he’s here to me.”

“So?”

“If I tell Lyosha, he won’t bother to keep him around any longer,” he said carefully.

“What did he say?” she asked, already knowing the answer.

“Your former alpha wants you back. He wants you as his mate, Mika,” he said, his voice tense.

Did that upset him? Did ~he~ want her as his mate? “Yep, I know that.”

“Do you want to escape? With your pack member. So you can be with your Alpha,” he asked, his voice calm but his eyes dangerous.

When she didn’t respond, he continued. “I would help you, Mika. To escape. I helped you get to the human city,” he offered, though she could tell he wasn’t happy about it.

Great. Just great. He cared enough about her to risk his life for her happiness. He just wanted her to be happy. He must be in love with her. He had to be.

She took a moment to compose herself and her answer. “I’m going to go with…” She let her answer hang, watching his reaction. “No. I don’t like that guy.”

He visibly relaxed. “What do you want me to do with the pack member?”

“Is it possible ~not~ to tell Lyosha his reason, so you won’t have to get rid of him?” she asked.

He thought for a long moment. “You want me to lie to him? I’ve never lied to my alpha. Not once.”

Strange. She’d always lied to both the alphas she’d had. It was one of her greatest pleasures. “Yes.”

He sighed dramatically, setting Kisa onto the floor. “Fine. I will lie. For you.”

~For you~. Oh Goddess, he was dreamy. Stupid, perfect man.

“You, um, never told me about your picture,” she said, trying to break the silence. “The one you came back for.”

“No, I never did,” he agreed, leaning back on the sofa. He looked so relaxed. With her.

“Do you want to tell me?” she asked.

He shrugged. “It’s just my older sister, Calina. She died with my parents when I was young.”

“You have a sister?” she asked, louder than she intended. It was so rare for a lycan to have a sibling.

“Had,” he corrected her quietly.

“Right, you never said what happened to them.”

He took a deep breath and looked away before answering. “I’m not really sure. It happened when I was really young, just a couple seasons old. Alpha Lyosha says it was a freak accident but he never specifies. He was really close with my father, so it’s hard for him to talk about it. He was kind enough to take me in as his own.”

“Don’t you deserve to know? I understand that he might’ve been close with your dad, but you deserve to know. He just needs to tell you one time, Cat,” she said, angry on his behalf. It wasn’t fair.

“No, I wasn’t close with them or anything. I was just a pup. Lyosha was best friends with my father, talking about them just upsets him. He never gets emotional, but he gets choked up when I’ve brought them up,” he said, starting to undress. It was then that she noticed he was covered in blood. Gruesome.

It should’ve disgusted her, but she couldn’t help but fantasize about him coming home to her every night.

“So, you don’t remember any of your family? Do you have grandparents or anything?” she asked, following him.

Caturix pulled his shirt over his head, revealing the deep scars on his chest and his tattoos.

She’d never asked him about his scars. She decided to ask, knowing that if she didn’t, the distance between them would only grow. They needed to know each other.

“Where did you get all the scars?” she asked softly. Lycans didn’t scar unless they were seriously injured at a very young age.

He paused his undressing, his hands still on the buttons of his pants. “I was a disobedient child.”

“To Lyosha?” she asked.

He didn’t answer.

She knew she was right. “All children are disobedient, Cat. You didn’t deserve to be tortured.”

She heard him swallow before he quickly turned away to continue undressing. She was pushing him too hard, asking too much. She needed to give him something in return.

“My last alpha’s name is Dancescu,” she said slowly, waiting to see if he’d interrupt. He didn’t, he just continued undressing. “He wants to claim me because I don’t want him. If I disobeyed at all, he’d lock me in his room and use me like a sex toy.”

Caturix’s body tensed, but he said nothing.

“I’ve given myself to any man who wants me because I’m terrified of being taken against my will. But, if I’m being perfectly honest…I don’t think that just because I ‘put out’ means that I wanted it. I just convinced myself I did. I didn’t want them. I just wanted to feel…wanted.” As she finished, she felt the warm tears sliding down her cheeks.

Caturix turned around slowly, looking at her strangely, but he said nothing. As if he didn’t want her to stop.

“In our pack, there were only three of us. Three she-wolves of breeding age. One’s a half-wolf witch, too preoccupied to fool around. The other’s our temple priestess, saving herself for her fated one. Then there’s me. I took care of the men in our pack, giving the other she-wolves different choices. Allowing them to live without fear.” Tears streamed down her face as she confessed, “I never wanted to be a whore. I dreamed of escaping. Of living among humans, thinking I’d be safe. But when I tried, they attempted to harm me.”

Shemika collapsed onto his bed, her sobs punctuating her words.

Caturix crossed the room to sit beside her. “I never fantasized about a virgin woman in my bed, Mika. I don’t see you as a whore. You were defending yourself.” His words were meant to comfort, but it was obvious he was inexperienced in offering solace. He wrapped his arms around her, pulling her into a comforting embrace.

A silence fell between them, broken only by Shemika’s intermittent sniffles. Caturix finally broke the quiet, his voice soft. “Lyosha raised me to be his protector and punisher, but I was a rebellious child. He had to tear me down to mold me into what he needed.”

Shemika pulled back, noticing Caturix lost in his thoughts.

His hand absentmindedly traced the deep scars on the left side of his face. “He gave me medicine as a child, so I couldn’t shift to defend myself. I had to fend off shifted lycans, to become stronger.”

He had to fight off wolves in his human form as a ~child~? No wonder he was covered in scars. She felt a pang of sympathy for him.

“All the while, Nikandr watched, reveling in my pain and suffering.” His voice was filled with bitterness.

“Nikandr? Why was Nikandr watching?” Shemika questioned.

“Because…he’s Lyosha’s biological son.”

Shemika’s eyes widened in shock. Nikandr was Lyosha’s blood son?! ~No way!~ No wonder he was the heir to the alpha and Lyosha’s obvious favorite. She’d never noticed their resemblance before, but now she saw it. The sinister, malevolent look in their eyes.

That night, Shemika and Caturix didn’t make love, which was unusual for them. Instead, they spent the night sharing their secrets and pasts. Shemika couldn’t have asked for a better way to spend her night.

She cried harder than she ever had, but she also laughed just as heartily. Regrettably, she found herself falling even deeper in love with Caturix.