chapter 19

Being busy with work, Fiza forgets to call Arif after returning from Goa. After a few days, she notices that Arif hasn't messaged or called her either, which is very unusual of Arif. Is Arif okay? (Pause) If anything had happened to Arif, Amma would have told me. Fiza thought.Fiza packs her tiffin for the office.'So, when will you call Arif?' Aman asks.'I think he is angry with me.''You have taken him for granted. I have always told you that someone who loves you, even if you don't love him, at least respect him. Moreover, he was always with you when everyone left you alone.''Maybe you're right. I will call Arif this weekend.''Why not today?''I will be busy throughout the day.''Again, a lame excuse. If you don't value your relationships, you will lose them.''Okay, I will call him today. Now, I have to go. Otherwise, I will be late.''Bye. Take care.''Bye.'On reaching the office, Fiza gets very busy with her work. The project deadline is ahead, and Fiza likes to finish her work on time. Fiza gets so busy with work that she forgets to have her lunch. Every day during lunch, Fiza talks to her mother, but today when she doesn't call her mother, she messages Fiza. "Beta, have you had your lunch?"After getting the message, Fiza checks her watch and finds that lunchtime is over. She replies to her mother, "Yes, I have eaten." Fiza doesn’t write the truth to her mother because she knows that if she reveals the truth to her mother, her mother will scold her.After shifting to her flat in Mumbai, Fiza cooks all easy-to-cook regular food for herself. These days she misses her mother a lot, but she doesn't want to call her to Mumbai because she wants to prove to her parents that she can survive alone with dignity. Fiza remembers that when she lived in Kolkata, her mother used to force-feed her, and she always tried to go without food on various pretexts. At that time, Fiza was fond of street foods, and one could easily find a variety of mouth-watering foods on the streets of Kolkata. Fiza misses her mother's cooking. So, these days, she tries to cook the dishes that her mother used to cook.Fiza takes her tiffin and goes to the canteen. As lunchtime is over the canteen is almost empty. Fiza takes her favorite corner seat, opens her tiffin box and calls Arif. After returning home, Fiza doesn't get time to talk. So while having her lunch, Fiza decides to speak with Arif.Arif picks up the call on the first ring and says, 'Hello! What can I do for you?' Fiza gets surprised by Arif's weird response. She checks the number she has dialed.'Am I talking to Arif?''Yes, it's Arif, always at your service.''You shocked me. What's wrong with you?''I'm fine. It's you who surprised me by calling. How did you remember me after so long?'Fiza wanted to say that Aman had asked her to call him. But she couldn't say it. She knows that Arif won't like it.'Please, don't talk like this. It doesn't suit you. And it's only been four-five days that we haven't talked.' Fiza says.You won't understand that even a moment without you seems like an era. Arif says inwardly.'If I haven't called you, you could have called me.' Fiza adds.'I thought you were busy with your new workplace and new friends.'Arif felt bad when Fiza didn't tell him that she was going on a trip to Goa. But he doesn't want to disclose his feelings to Fiza.'Even you haven't asked me about my trip.' Fiza says.'If it is necessary, you will tell yourself. Maybe it was very personal. So, I didn't think it was right to ask.''You have changed a lot.''You have also changed. Earlier, you used to call me for every little thing. Now you forget to call me for weeks. Maybe you don't need me anymore.'Fiza understands that she has unknowingly hurt Arif. But how to apologize to him, she couldn't understand. She knows it's hard to persuade Arif. So, she decides to talk to him later.'Arif, I have to go now. I will talk to you later.''As you wish.''I don't like this Arif. I want my Arif back. So, be a good boy when I call you later.''Bye. Take care.''Bye.'Moreover, Fiza doesn't like to talk over the phone for a long time while in the office. Fiza hangs up the call. When Fiza said I want my Arif back, Arif's heart leaps with joy. Arif knows it can't happen in reality, but still, he loves when Fiza says, "My Arif".Fiza goes to work again, but now, she can't focus on her work. Arif's words, "Maybe you don't need me anymore." echoed in her ears.On reaching home, Fiza takes a water bottle and her phone and sits on the balcony.'Get some rest first. What's the hurry?' Aman says and sits beside Fiza.'No, Arif is very angry with me. I can't rest until he forgives me.'Aman smiles. Even if you don't accept it, you are in love with Arif. Aman says inwardly.Fiza calls Arif and the phone rings, but Arif doesn't pick up the call. Once, twice, thrice.... Fiza calls Arif continuously, but Arif does not pick up the phone. Even Sirius is not visible in the sky today. Fiza stares blankly at the sky.Is Arif okay? Fiza thought.'Maybe he is busy.' Aman says.'Where is he so busy that he can't pick up my phone?' 'You should not expect priority from someone you do not give priority to in your life.'Fiza's mobile rings. Arif has called.'Why didn't you pick up my call?' Fiza says.'I was talking with my parents.''Is everything alright there?''Yes, my parents want me to get married soon. So, they were showing me photos of some girls.'Hearing about Arif's marriage, Fiza feels pain in her heart. But she says, 'I will finalize your bride.''Okay, I will mail you all the photos.'After some regular conversation, Fiza hangs up the call and sits with a heavy heart, gazing at the stars.Sirius is visible now.'If you don't love Arif, why are you sad?' Aman says.'I don't know. I am feeling like I'm losing something.' (Continued ...