#045 – Time to noscope some kids

#045 – Time to noscope some kids

After a few minutes of not being accosted by a stupid tentacle as I swam out of this place, I found myself back outside of the tunnel.

I still didn’t quite want to drop my guard, so I first made sure to get back to the golden gate before dropping down on my butt with a mighty sigh.

I sat there for a few seconds with my eyes closed.

The sunlight felt nice. Even if it was fake.

“Alright… Let’s figure out what else I got!” I cheered and put my backpack on the ground.

First, I removed the piece of paper from it and placed it on the ground so it could dry out in the sun before pulling out the other item – the water gun.

Then I used Appraisal at the more interesting object first.

Ink water gun

A water gun capable of shooting high-speed projectiles made out of any liquid fed to it by using a moderate amount of Ether. Can also create its own water or ink without supplying them first by using  more Ether.

I blinked.

Well, I’d kinda subconsciously expected this when I’d first seen this thing, but…

“Chat, I got a gun,” I said in a flat tone.

The impression of this being a fantasy-ish world had been shaky since finding the spaceship, but for some reason, part of me still thought of it that way.

Well, now that mental image was truly and well shattered.

Okay, maybe I was exaggerating a bit. It was just a water gun, but still. If water guns existed in this world, there was no reason real guns couldn’t exist too.

GeorgeDoshington: fuck yeah

Jeofffff: niceeeee

Obviously, I needed to test it first to see just how high-speed these projectiles would be.

I grabbed the thing and scrutinized it for a second. It was small enough that I could hold it in one hand but big enough that I could also use both hands if I wanted to. It had a big bright yellow barrel on top of it, presumably meant for water, and the rest of it was bright orange. It looked like a regular water gun with nothing special about it.n/ô/vel/b//in dot c//om

I shrugged, fiddled with it and found a way to detach the barrel. When I looked into it, I saw a dark void similar to the wallet and my backpack.

I hummed in understanding.

Then I had an idea.

I grabbed the towel from my backpack – which was still completely dry despite absorbing a lake’s worth of water at this point – positioned it above the barrel, and began squeezing.

A huge stream of water splashed into my lap and I squeaked in surprise.

“...Okay, I guess it is full of water.”

More carefully this time, I squeezed more water out of it and tried to fill the barrel just to see how much it could hold.

I sat there for what felt like half an hour as the water streamed out of the towel and the barrel chugged it all up.

Well.

“Right, I guess it’s big enough.”

I didn’t think I would have to worry about constantly having to reload mid-fight, at least.

With that test out of the way, I attached the barrel back into the gun’s mechanism and finally decided to test its main function. I grabbed it in both hands, heaved it, aimed at a random building, and pulled the trigger.

I did not expect the wet bang and recoil strong enough to make me roll backwards.

“What the f–” I shouted as I held my head and tried to recover from bumping my head. “Okay, jeez. I expected a water gun, not a freaking sniper rifle.”

Jeofffff: holy shit

GeorgeDoshington: looooool

GeorgeDoshington: time to noscope some zombies

I shook my head and looked back down at the gun incredulously.

Well, it was a boss drop, so maybe I shouldn’t be that surprised. But still. Wasn’t this a D-rank dungeon? Just what kind of insane loot do more difficult dungeons give out?

I looked at the building I’d shot and as expected, besides the big splash of water, there was zero damage. Not like I’d expected to actually cause any damage to dungeon objects, but eh. I probably needed to test this thing on something real.

The recoil was very inconvenient though.

Jeofffff: fuse it with glove for grenade launcher

“...Oh god, you’re right, Jeoff. I can fuse this thing with stuff!”

As if this thing wasn’t crazy enough already.

I would have to unfuse the glove and shower head later to try this. Or maybe I could even do it the other way around and fuse the gun into the glove to shoot water bullets out of my palms like an esper? Or I could fuse it into one of my weapons to give them a long-range attack? Damn, now I wanted to go and try out all sorts of combos.

“Well, anyway. This thing is crazy. Confirmed. What about this thing?”

I glanced at the piece of paper, that had seemed to mostly dry in the meantime, and appraised it.

Keyfinder’s map

A map that leads to the final boss of this dungeon. May also lead to secret areas within this and other dungeons.

This object is a Key item.

“Oh, huh… Wait, it says final boss, chat!” I cheered with a grin. “Finally! We’re so close to clearing this dungeon!”

GeorgeDoshington: hyyyyype

KaiEbikoOfficial: I hope you don’t plan on going right away Nana

“Ehh… I’m gonna test the gun some more, recover a bit, and then go. Sounds good?”

There was a general agreement in chat, so I packed everything up again, got up, and left through the golden gate.

I couldn’t believe that I was finally about to clear this dungeon. It felt like I’ve been here for ages even if it had only been about a week. What would happen after I beat it? Would the entire thing remain dead since nothing respawned? Would the dungeon just disappear? Or would it reset once I cleared it?

Well, no point in wondering that right now. Rather, it was going to be the final boss

. Maybe I should feel concerned. The floor bosses had all given me quite a bit of trouble already and I couldn’t imagine this to be even harder, so… could I even do it? Was it reckless of me to try? What even would be the final boss?

“Alright chat, place your bets on what the final boss will be.” My brows furrowed as I pulled the map out of my backpack at it and stared at it. “Or even where it will be. What even is this a map of?”

GeorgeDoshington: laser shark

GeorgeDoshington: im calling it now

Jeofffff: probably the tunnels under the slides

Jeofffff: the third one I’m thinking

KaiEbikoOfficial: it could be the second floor actually

I hummed and then remembered something.

“...Right. I never went on the third slide, did I? I should go there first just to see what’s inside. Maybe there’s a chest.” I hummed again and turned the map, trying to figure it out. “You think this is the map of the second floor, Ebi? Hmm… I mean, the second floor made me go back to the first floor, so it wouldn’t be that strange, I guess…”

As I talked to and theorized with chat, I made it out of the dungeon again and sat down on the grass to relax for a bit.

It was still early morning since I’d rushed straight to the octopus, so I had plenty of time to prepare and take out the final boss, whatever it might be.

A few minutes of lazing around later, I grabbed the water gun again in order to test just how strong it was.

I spread my legs, dug my heels in, hunched forward, aimed the gun at a nearby tree, and placed my finger on the trigger, feeling it ready to eat my Ether.

I breathed in, tensed my muscles, and pressed the trigger.

The squelchy bang rang in my ears again and I nearly fell over despite all my precautions this time, but I managed to keep standing.

To my complete shock, the water bullet drilled a fist-sized hole straight through the tree’s trunk, leaving it swaying, and making a cloud of orange smoke burst out of it. The tree then toppled to the side completely, releasing even more orange smoke.

“Hoooly sssh…sheep, chat! What the heck?! This isn’t a gun, it’s a freaking cannon!”

GeorgeDoshington: jesus fuck

Jeofffff: aww yiss ur op now

KaiEbikoOfficial: holy cow!

Unfortunately, there were some downsides to the thing though. Namely, I could really feel my Ether dwindling now. And considering I hadn’t used that much Ether against the octopus, this water gun ate a lot.

Speaking of eating…

I put the gun down for the time being and pulled out my pizza and my trusty bucket to recover a bit.

Jeofffff: try the other setting

“Other setting?” I said between bites of the pizza. “Oh, right. It can create ink to shoot too. Almost forgot about that.”

Probably because the boss had been an octopus right? Even though the octopus had never used ink… Hmm. The boss drops felt like they were only vaguely based on the bosses. Wallet from the coins, an ink gun and a wholeass tentacle from the octopus, a glove and a bottle of juice from the giant weirdo…

Uhh…

I felt like there was some kind of backstory for that one. I hadn’t really thought about it, but if things from the dungeons were based on the civilization that used to be here – which I still didn’t know for sure – then what in the heck was the second floor’s boss based on?

The coin bosses were weird, but I could accept that they represented having to pay to enter the water park. The octopus was also eyebrow-raising, but I could see it as some kind of mascot for the park and whatnot. But what in god's name was the sauna guy supposed to be? The water park’s CEO? The resident creep? It felt like it was based on something specific.

Or maybe I was just overthinking it all. I should probably stop doing that.

Once I felt like I’d recovered enough Ether with the ooze, I grabbed the gun again, stood in the same stance as last time, aimed at the downed tree trunk, tried to mentally prod the trigger mechanism with my Ether to figure out how to switch settings, and once I found it, I pressed the trigger.

The moment I did, I felt a ton more Ether drain from me, my knees buckled and my arms went weak, and a split second later, the projectile burst from the gun’s muzzle with a bang, and I was sent flying back.

“Guh! Gah…” I groaned as I tried to get back up from where I’d landed. “Shhhovel, chat. Making ammo out of thin air costs a lot more Ether… Who would have thought?”

When I looked up, my eyes went wide and I had to blink a few times to make sure I was seeing right.

The entire area where I’d been aiming was pitch black. Covered in ink, presumably. I barely noticed the hole in the tree trunk I’d shot. It was hard to see when everything was black.

“Huh…” I grabbed the water gun that had fallen off my hands and pulled myself to my feet again. “I guess I have a way to blind my enemies now…?” I mumbled.

It was like shooting sand into someone’s eyes at the speed of sound. It would technically blind them, but… well.

GeorgeDoshington: what if you feed it the goop

Jeofffff: that could be useful for big monsters

“Big monsters…?” I raised an eyebrow. “I’m not gonna shoot things with the healing goop, George…”

Jeofffff: yeah like kaiju

Jeofffff: the shots won’t kill them but can blind them

I rolled my eyes.

“Why do you automatically assume that I’m gonna be fighting building-sized monsters, Jeoff? Are you trying to set up flags on purpose?” I grumbled in annoyance.

Jeofffff: just theorizing

Jeofffff: it would be cool if you did tho

“Right…”

It would be ‘cool’. But it would also be freaking terrifying. I didn’t want to fight giant monsters anytime soon. Meeting one giant killer robot was enough for a lifetime, thank you very much.

…

That was already a flag in and of itself, wasn’t it?

…Oh no. What was the final boss going to be?