Chapter 22

(Chapter song ‘Numb' by Linkin Park)

SOPHIE “Let me get this straight. Just so we’re absolutely clear.” Jax says as he paces back and forth in front of me. I’m curled on the couch, hugging a pillow and chewing my thumb.

I had to. It hurt so much, I needed my brother and I know I couldn’t keep the reason for this pain a secret.

“Marc and Claudia are a thing, but it’s fake. You and Marc were a thing, but it was real. Now, he broke up with you and turn his fake relationship, real?” He stops and crosses his arms.

“I know it’s fucked up and at first I didn’t want to go along with it, but Marcus insisted nothing would ever happen.” Tears well in my eyes. “Then the kisses happened…”

He holds up his hand. “The kiss…at the restaurant…the night of the crash. He was with you?” He points to me.

I nod my head and lay my cheek on the pillow.

Jax wraps an arm around his waist, rubs his mouth and hair with his other hand then shakes his head. “I’m gonna kill him. He’s fucking dead!” He growls as he strides to the hall where his jacket is.

“No! JAX!” I rush to him and grab his arm. “No. It’s not his fault!”

He spins around and glares at me as he stuffs his arms into the sleeves. “He cheated on you, Sophie! Best friend or not. His life ends now!” He growls as he points to the floor.

I pull on him more. “Yes, he did, but I drove him to it. Jax. He broke up with me because of my shit and now I made it worse.” I whine as I turn around and walk back to the couch. I flop down and cover mu head with my pillow.

“What? What did you do?” He narrows his eyes and crosses his arms.

I place the pillow in my lap. “I shifted and crashed through his pack house.” I cringe.

He drops to the couch beside me. “You what?”

I shake my head. “When Claudia told me, my wolf was so angry. I lost control. I’ve never done that before. She tore through.” I glance at him. “It was weird. She was royally pissed off, but she didn’t want to hurt Claudia. She just needed to let out her anger, if that makes sense. I think she was protecting me, but somehow it didn’t feel like that. She felt betrayed, but not the way I expected to feel.”

“Kid, you got it in your head that Marcus is yours. You’re wolf is confused by your feelings, that’s all and it’s lashing out because of them.” He says.

“Hmm…Maybe.” I mumble.

“So, what I’m going to do is talk to Marc.”

I start to protest, but he puts up his hand. “I won’t hurt him. Well, I won’t kill him. I just want to hear his side of it, ok.”

“Promise?” I eye him. I know the Dupree temper all too well.

He drops a kiss on my hair. “I promise, kid. I know how to be an adult. Now, just stay here, I’m going to find Marc.”

I shake my head. “No. He’s in New York. I think his dad had something to do with bombing in Vegas. I don’t know how Marc was wrapped up in it.

Jax looks puzzled. “You don’t think…”

Like I could read his mind, my eyes turn to shock. “His dad tried to kill him.”

“Or Claudia.” Jax adds.

My wolf does a riled spin in my chest as the thought of Marcus and Claudia in danger from his father.

He scrubs a hand down his face and pulls out his phone. He dials and holds it to his ear. The wait is excruciating. “He’s not answering.” Then he gets up. “Marc. Jax. Call me as soon as you get this. You better be alive.”

He hangs up and walks to the door.

“Where are you going?” I stand and meet him at the door.

“The Hub. I’m going to see what I can find out about that bombing. If I link it to Lucco, the hunt is on.” He snarls, throws open the door and leaves.

I turn back into the apartment. I feel horrible. I can’t say it’s about the sex, more about Marc’s house and how I treated Claudia.

I can’t be mad. I fucked us up. This is the consequence. I can’t blame Claudia for it and using my wolf against her…

“Fuck.” I stride to the door, grab my coat and leave.

I drove all the way to Parkdale with Claudia’s fear on her face in my mind.

I need to apologize for that, at least.

I pull into the pack house driveway and Aster is assessing the house with another pack member. Claudia is leaning on the truck with her phone out.

I turn off the engine and get off.

“Sophie, no!” Aster rushes me.

I put my hands in my pockets and lower my head. Claudia pushes off the truck and walks my way.

“I’m not here to start shit. I just wanna say…”

“Say what?” Claudia eyes me suspiciously.

I glance to Aster then meet her eyes. “Can we talk…privately.”

They exchange glances and Claudia nods to him.

Aster gives a reluctant nod back and he turns back to the house.

I walk to the rear of the house and sit on the back porch steps. I look out to the trees as she sits beside me. The wind blows her scent my way and I don’t want it, but I can’t help but take it in.

I lean on my knees and play with my fingers.

“Sophie…” She starts.

I shake my head. “I’m sorry.” I roll an eye to her and squint in the sun.

“You’re sorry?” She questions as she places her palms on the edge of the step. I watch her cross her legs and bounce her wedge sandal.

I sit up and lean my hands back. “Yeah. I don’t know…I was pissed, but I realize it’s not fair.”

“Not fair? What are you saying?” She arches a brow.

I get up, walk down the steps and turn on the cement pathway in front of her. “Claudia. I’m sure Marc told you. I’m a mess.” I shake my head and shrug. “I’m trying to fix it and be what everyone wants, but…”

“You can’t…can you?” She leans on her thigh.

I shake my head no. “Every time I try, shit like this happens.” I motion to the house. “I didn’t mean to attack you. I know I messed up with Marcus. You guys didn’t do anything wrong. I did. I only came back to say that.”

She stands and slowly walks down the steps. I suck in my bottom lip as she stands in front of me. “I won’t say you’re wrong. Thank ya, for coming back.” She looks down at the ground. “I want to say sorry, too. I didn’t need to throw it in your face like that. I wasn’t even supposed to tell ya. Marc wanted to do it, but when ya came at me…I just wanted to knock little miss perfect off her pedestal.”

I chuckle and look around the yard. “You think I’m perfect?”

“Well, yeah. Look at ya. Perfect hair. Perfect skin. Perfect nails and clothes. I bet you even have a perfect job too.” She smiles.

I laugh. “If you can call unemployed and living off your brother, perfect, then yeah. It’s a great career choice.”

She shrugs with a tiny smirk. “Better than living off your fake boyfriend.”

My mouth drops and humble myself. “I just want to say. The best woman won. You may have your faults, but obviously Marc is good for them. He can’t fix me. I’m glad he can fix you.”

I sit beside her. “And thank you for saving him. You’re a hero.”

She watches herself play with her fingers. “I guess ya could say that.” She glances at me with a soft smile that I actually enjoy seeing.

I hold out my hand to her. “This is my olive branch. No more snide comments. No more insults. Definitely no more wolf attacks.”

She takes it and I’m surprised how warm and alive her skin feels. It makes me smile as she shakes my hand then pulls away.

“Agreed.”

I give her a second smile then stand. I start to walk to the front of the house, but spin around. “I forgot to ask, how are you handling all this.”

She stands. “Oh. Ya know. It’ll take more than a little explosion to shake me up.” She chuckles as she slowly approaches me. I watch her walk and my wolf spins.

I lock her eyes and study her. “You’re lying.” I whisper.

She lowers her head, sucks in a breath and smiles with tears in her eyes. “You’re right. I’m a mess.”

I feel her pain and although I don’t know it, seeing her hurting had me doing something I never thought I would.

I press my lips together, shake my head and grab her in a hug. She wraps her arms around me and I bury my nose in her hair. “I’m so sorry.” I say as truly as I can.

She softly cries out whatever’s going on with her and I feel it it’s because no one has even bothered to ask her how she’s dealing with almost losing her life. I know how that feels. It fucking hurts.

I’ve been told my whole life to grin and bear it. To suck it up. Eat the pain and use it. Not even Audrey stopped to ask me how I was inside. Mostly because her emotional bottle was as jammed packed as mine and neither of us had the time or the space to empty them.

I felt like breaking down with Claudia.

It almost felt like a connection growing between us. Like maybe we could actually be friends.

I hugged her a little longer then she pulled away. She wiped her cheeks with a little laugh. “Look at me, huh? Cry baby all over your gorgeous jacket.” She flicks my coat and I laugh.

“What? This old thing?” I hold it out and she laughs more.

I reach into my pocket, pull out a pen and grab her hand.

“What are ya doing?” Her eyes flick from mine to her hand.

“My number.” I say as I write on her skin. “Anything. Talk, rant. Complain about Marc…call me.” I push her fingers closed and give her hand back.

She blinks at me. “Thanks.”

I lean to her. “Eh! Don’t mention it?” I say with my New York accent impression and I back hand her stomach lightly.

She shakes her head and laughs. “That’s good. You'd fit right in.”

“You’re lying.” I smirk.

“Yeah, I am. It was horrible.” She smiles. “But I appreciate the laugh. Thank you.”

My gaze softens. “You’re welcome.” I step and pause. “Have a good night. Sorry about the house.”

I walk up the path to the front of the house.

I get on and put on my black helmet. I flick up the visor and turn to Claudia holding herself on the front porch. I hold up two fingers and she waves. I rev the engine and drive off feeling a lot better.

I feel like even though I didn’t unload a lot, the weight I had on my chest was gone. I handed Marcus to her and I feel like I have some sort of closure.

I admitted to someone other than my doctors and myself, how messed up I was and somehow that felt better than any therapy or group meeting.

Claudia felt easy to talk to. I considered spilling everything, but decided against it. She needed to hear that I’m messed. She doesn’t need to know by how much. Maybe, in time, if we get to that level, but right now, I just needed an explanation and I got one.

I wasn’t mad at her, I was mad at myself. My wolf attacked me. Marcus and Claudia are just collateral damage.

By offering my blessing and accepting we are over, I can move on from Marc. I can’t forget him, but whenever I do think about him, the sting won’t be as bad.

My head is swimming with my next steps when I walk in the door at home.

Jax is on the phone in the entranceway. He turns and looks at me.

“No. She’s out…what’s this about?...OK. Ok I’ll tell her.”

“Who’s was that?” I ask as Jax hangs up his phone. I shrug off my coat and hang it up.

“That was Marc. He’s back from New York and on his way over. He wants to talk.” Jax says.

“Oh.” I mumble and enter the living room. “I guess I should face all the music.” I sink into the couch.

“What do you mean?” He asks as he sits down beside me.

I told him the conversation I had with Claudia and how I intend to have the same one with Marcus.

He grabs my hand and pulls it into his lap. He leans to me. “You don’t know how proud I am of you. This is a major break, kid. Admitting fault? I mean, yeah, it’s shitty, but it’s something solid. Something you stand behind. Claudia or not, Sophie, you opened yourself. Made yourself vulnerable. That’s all we want. It’s the only way we can help you. This woman, I don’t know what she did, but if she makes you feel like you can heal, hang onto to her. As much as I hate that she’s a Vinelli, she sounds like she could be a really good friend for you.”

By the time Marcus showed up, I was in my room…packing. As much as I want to heed Jax' advice, I think if I put as much distance between me and Marc, I’ll be a hell of a lot better.

“What are you doing?”

I turn my head and my heart stops. My breath stutters and have to look away as I feel my eyes heat.

He looks so damn sexy in his muscle shirt and shorts. I have to remind myself he doesn’t want me. I have to control my emotions. My wolf isn’t helping as she claws and spins behind my ribs. I push her down and clear my throat.

“I’m leaving.” I shoot him a smile. “I’m…uh…I’m sorry about your pack house. I have a couple grand in my savings. I’ll forward it to you for the repairs.”

I grab my pack and throw the strap over my shoulder. I walk to the door and he stops me.

“Keep your money.” He growls and rips my pack from my arm. “You’re not leaving.”

“Give it back! What the…Marcus?!!” I scowl and swipe my hand at my bag. He pulls it back behind him.

“You don’t get to leave me like this.” He points to my nose as he keeps my bag out of reach.

“Excuse me? Why the hell not?” My brow furrows even more as I try to figure out what he's playing at.

He leans close and his eyes flare a tiny bit as his head tilts to me. “Because I love you, damn it!” His eyes lock with mine. “You aren’t going anywhere.”

My eyes well as I stare at him.

“What did you just say?”