Chapter 84 - Let Them Suffer From Regret
I Won't Go Back to My Family Who Abandoned Me
Chapter 84. Let Them Suffer From Regret
Marquis Leroy thought sheâd return right away if he asked her to. However, Leticia hid behind Enoch even more, to the point where she couldnât be seen.
The Emperor had arranged the situation so that she could avoid seeing him if she wished. Marquis Leroy tried to ask for a little time, but it was after the order was already issued.
He had no choice but to back down for now.
***
âIâll tell you up front. Do you know how worried I was that you might say you were leaving?â
As soon as they exited the room, Elle scolded her as if she was waiting. Leticia tilted her head in confusion.
âI thought you already knew.â
She thought it was a given. It was so obvious that Leticia didnât feel the need to say anything.
âI feel better than I thought.â
Leticia lowered her gaze with a more relaxed look.
She was worried that it would be more difficult. This time, she was letting go of her family, and not the other way around.
However, it was unexpectedly painless. Rather, her heart felt lighter now that sheâd completely cut the connection between herself and her family.
But her family didnât seem to think so.
âWeâre your real family! So what? You donât love your family now?â
Enoch, who first discovered the Marquis approaching with a ferocious look in his eyes, blocked his way. Leticia stood next to Enoch with a look that said it was okay, as she faced her family properly.
âI know that we made you sad.â
ââ¦.â
âBut weâre still family.â
ââ¦.â
âAfter you left, we worried a lot.â
Thinking that it was going wrong, Marquess Leroy pushed the Marquis out of the way, and approached Leticia instead.
However, she only stared at them without saying a word.
While Marquess Leroy never openly ignored and shamed her like the Marquis and her younger siblings did. However, she never took her side or said anything nice.
She quietly turned a blind eye to it.
With mixed feelings, Leticia smiled bitterly and grabbed Enochâs sleeve.
At first glance, it seemed like she really regretted what happened and was sincerely apologizing,? but there was no way Leticia could be unaware of the fact that this was not the case.
âI know that itâs an insincere apology that doesnât mean anything.â
âLeticia.â
âI know you need me, and youâre just trying to pacify me.â
She couldnât help, but feel disappointed in her family for apologizing just for their immediate gain and greed.
âI wonât accept your apology.â
âLeticia!â
She thought it was rather strange that they looked so shocked.
Their confused expressions that said they could let her go, but never thought that Leticia would let them go.
âNo matter how shy and pathetic I was, I never thought I would be kicked out.â
âLeticia, weâ¦â
âAs the Marquis said, we were family.â
ââ¦.â
âWhen I was abandoned, it was so hard.â
Everyone was ashamed of her, so she thought it was all her fault. She kept trying to find the reason for them abandoning her.
The despair she felt when she found out that it wasnât her fault was indescribable.
If it wasnât her fault, then why was she abandoned?
Where did it go wrong?
From the beginning, there was no reason for her to be thrown away.
However, she was able to quickly sort out the emotions that had piled up heavier than sheâd expected. Even if they suffered, nothing would change anyways.
âI hope you live well.â
It sounded funny even after she said it, so Leticia corrected herself right away.
âActually, I hope you donât live well.â
If theyâre thoroughly unhappy.
âThat you suffer as much as I had.â
In fact, several times more than that.
âI hope you regret it and suffer.â
Leticia smiled brighter than ever.
Now it was her turn to abandon her family.
***
Correspondence poured in for several days after that, all of them were from her family. She didnât want to know what it was about, nor did she care to find out, so Leticia didnât bother opening them.
âI think we can use it as kindling.â
At Ianâs sarcastic remark, Leticia burst into laughter.
âWhy do they keep sending them?â
She leaned back in her chair as she threw the letter that had arrived today on the table. Elle asked cautiously as she offered her a piece of strawberry cake.
âDo you really think of us as family?â
âOf course.â
âBut weâre not really a family, right?â
At the heart of it, even though she said they were family, there was no official basis to say this. She didnât understand Elleâs intention when she pointed it out, so Leticia just blinked in confusion.
âI guess thatâs correct?â
âThen isnât there a good way for us to become a real family?â
ââ¦.â
Leticia finally realized what Elle was trying to say.
âEnoch and I will discuss marriage on our own.â
âNo, Iâm afraid youâll change your mind halfway.â
Elle glanced over at Ian, who quickly noticed that she was asking for help, and he moved to support her.
âDonât you think itâs better to get married as soon as possible?â
Now that Ian had joined in, Leticia shook her head and let out a small sigh.
âIf you keep doing this, Iâll tell Lord Achilles.â
âSister, we just want to become an official family as soon as possible.â
âThatâs right, sister. Itâs better for everyone if weâre family.â
Their eyes looked at her desperately, as if they wanted her to know how they felt.
Leticia didnât fall for it though.
âWhat if it doesnât end with just weeding and chopping firewood this time?â
ââ¦.â
ââ¦.â
It was really hard on them when they had to weed and chop firewood all day, so the two stiffened up at the same time, as if they were in sync.
She was smiling at the funny sight, when Mary approached with a troubled expression.
âUm, my ladyâ¦â
âHmm?â
âSomeone is here.â
She had a good idea of who it was, but she didnât voice it.
âWho is it?â
âItâs young master Emil.â
ââ¦.â
âActually, heâs been here since this morning. He refused to leave until he met with you.â
She had told him several times that Leticia couldnât meet with him, but it was useless.
He was stubbornly waiting outside to meet with Leticia. In the end, she couldnât just leave him standing out front of the mansion forever, so she had no choice but to let Leticia know.
âHaâ¦â
Leticia looked tired, and let out a sigh.
She didnât think her family would give up on her so easily, but it was uncomfortable and unpleasant when they kept trying.
âOkay, Iâll go and meet with him.â
âHey.â
âSister.â
When she got up from her seat, Elle and Ian stood up at the same time.
Leticia smiled as if she was okay, and told them they should sit again.
âIâll be right back, so wait here.â
âButâ¦â
âStillâ¦â
Elle and Ian looked at each other and frowned slightly in discomfort. Enoch was worried about Leticia and had asked them to take good care of her.
âItâs really okay.â
âThen Iâll be waiting nearby. If something happens to you, Iâll never be able to face my brother.â
âThatâs right. Please let us do that much.â
Leticia had no choice, but to nod her head since it seemed like they wouldnât back down.
She didnât want to talk to Emil at the Achilles mansion, so she didnât bother to invite him inside and just went outside. Emil was pacing in front of the gate, and looked up as soon as she felt her presence.
âHey, itâll only take a moment. Can I talk to you?â
Emil, whoâd disappeared so rudely last time, asked politely and carefully.
Leticia nodded silently. Emil was relieved and moved to the tea house heâd reserved.
Elle and Ian followed slowly behind the two.
âI want to hurry up and get this over with.â
Perhaps because of that idea, Leticiaâs steps accelerated. Then she heard a sound of pain behind her, and looked behind her.
âAhâ¦â
It was only when she saw Emil, who was being assisted by one of his servants, that she realized that one of his legs was injured.
In the past, she would have apologized for being inconsiderate, but now it just made her feel uncomfortable. It felt like he was trying to make her feel sorry for him by acting pitiful.
However, Leticia sat on a chair without saying anything.
âWhat should I do?â
âWhat?â
âHow can we⦠How can I convince you to come back?â
As soon as he sat down, Emil brought up the main topic.
For some reason, Leticia almost smiled at the way he was struggling to get her to return with him.
But it wasnât a pleasant smile.
âYou still donât know what your priorities are.â
âWhat does that mean?â
âYou arenât very smart in these matters.â
Leticia kindly told Emil, who still didnât understand what she was saying.
âWouldnât it be right to apologize first?â
âSisterâ¦â
Emil stopped talking for a while, then he apologized quickly.
âIâm sorry I ignored you because I thought you were useless.â
ââ¦.â
Leticia wasnât angry at his insincere apology, and just quietly looked at Emil.
âAnd.â
âWhat?â
âIsnât there something else?â
ââ¦.â
He sat with an expression that said he didnât know, no matter how much he thought about it. Leticia sighed and put down her teacup.
He still didnât seem to realize what his mistake was.
âYou spread false rumors about me.â
âI didnât do thatâ¦â
âEmil.â
She remained calm while she faced Emil, who looked straight at her as if he was innocent.
âFather and mother may be fooled, but Iâm not.â
ââ¦.â
âYour lies donât work on me.â
She spent more time with her younger siblings than her parents did. She knew everything about their personalities, tastes, specialties and other trivial things.
To Leticia, her younger brotherâs lies were obvious.
Emil closed his mouth firmly as if he still didnât want to admit it. At that sight, Leticia stood up with a small sigh.
Emil paled as he realized she was getting up to leave, and shouted urgently.
âIâ¦!!! Thatâs right.â
ââ¦.â
âIt was all because of me. Iâm the one who spread those bad rumors about you.â
ââ¦.â
âItâs my fault, sisterâ¦â
Even before she could ask why, Emil honestly conceded that he was afraid the familyâs reputation would fall if it was revealed that Leticia had been kicked out even though she wasnât capable of causing misfortune.
Leticia couldnât hide her devastation when Emil said he had no choice, but to create rumors to save their familyâs honor.
âI may have been wrong about you.â
She was confident that she knew her younger brother better than anyone else.
Now she wanted to bite her tongue for even thinking that.
âIâm sick and tired of it.â
ââ¦.!â
Leticia smiled crookedly, with an expression that said sheâd run out of affection. Deep inside, Emil could hear something breaking.
It was already too late when he realized something was wrong.
âReputation? Honor?â
âSisterâ¦â
âI guess you didnât think about how I would suffer from those rumors.â
âIâm sorry about that too.â
âSorry?â
She felt her anger rise and her blood boiled.
She felt miserable when she was once again reminded that they never thought of her as family.
âYou think youâre a very logical and rational person, but youâre not.â
Leticia fiercely clenched her teeth and stared at Emil.
âYouâre just a dirty egoist.â
âSister!â
âItâs amazing that you can rationalize with yourself and make the excuse that it couldnât be helped.â
She never expected him to apologize properly, but his excuse was unexpected.
She didnât think it was worth being here anymore, so Leticia said with a dry voice.
âLive like that for the rest of your life.â
To eventually be unhappy with yourself.
After saying that, Leticia firmly turned away. Emil stood up quickly, with a strong feeling that he would never be able to see her again.
âSister, wait⦠Sister!â
He called out sadly, unable to follow her with his injured leg. Leticia walked away, even though she must have been able to hear him furiously yelling behind her.
âPlease wait a minute, Sister! Noâ¦â
He was in such a hurry that he fell down. He tried to get back up to chase after Leticia, but it was hard for him to get up right away because his leg was broken.
As soon as Emil tried to get up again with a curse, he could feel her gaze on him. Leticia had stopped walking and looked at him with an expressionless face.
Leticia couldâve helped him stand again, but she just looked down at him coldly. He couldnât let her go like this.
âIâll do what you tell me to do.â
ââ¦.â
âEven if you ignore me for the rest of my life, Iâll take it sweetly if you do it.â
ââ¦.â
âIf you come back, we can go back to normal.â
He could be happy again.
His fatherâs business would go well. His mother, who sometimes collapsed from fever, would be healthy again. Diana wouldnât be in trouble anymore, and Xavier could win first place at the next Swordsmanship tournament. Maybe Irene will return from their uncleâs territory.
In addition, he would be able to proudly pass the next Imperial Civil service examination, and become the pride of his family.
âIf we have you sister, thenâ¦â
Everything will be perfect again once they become a complete family.
Emil started to feel nervous when Leticia stayed quiet, and was about to open his mouth.
âI realized it after I was kicked out. I hadnât been considered family for quite some time.â
It was a one-sided love. So many days where she was alone, and hurt by that unrequited love that would never be rewarded.
Sadly, she believed that one day her heart would reach them, but all she got back was neglect.
âThereâs no way I would go back to a place like that.â
Now that sheâd awakened, their attitude towards her had significantly changed from before she was excommunicated. This fact made Leticia more miserable.
âIf I didnât have an ability, would you have asked me to return like you are now?â
âSisterâ¦â
It wasnât a question that needed an answer. She just told the truth as it was.
Their relationship was just that shallow.
âThereâs only one thing that I want.â
Even before Emil asked what it was, Leticia said the words first.
âDonât show up in front of me again.
âSisterâ¦â
âI donât want to see your face anymore.â
A calm, but firm voice.
Emil felt his heart shatter miserably at the sincere look in her eyes.