Chapter 66 - When You Realize How Precious It Is After Throwing It Away
I Won't Go Back to My Family Who Abandoned Me
Chapter 66. When You Realize How Precious It Is After Throwing It Away
He had a strong feeling that something good would happen today. The dream of becoming an Imperial civil servant, being envied and celebrated by other people. It was a reality that would come true today, and it was more enjoyable than heâd thought.
After such a long time, Emil had woken up in a refreshed mood this morning. He had a light breakfast and went to see the final list of successful candidates.
However, the way people looked at him as soon as he arrived was strange. At first, he thought the coughs and glances from his academy colleagues were jealousy. He wasnât particularly offended because he had received these glances once or twice in the past. Rather, he thought it was all just ridiculous.
And yet,
âWhat is this?â
He couldnât see his name, which should be at the top. Slightly frowning, Emil looked down the list slowly. In the middle, he felt annoyed when he saw the name âIan Achillesâ, but he continued to look for his name while trying to appear calm.
But his name was nowhere.
âHow is it possible that they forgot my name?â
It was clear that his name was missing.
It was so amazing that he couldnât help but laugh. He couldnât believe that theyâd made such a ridiculous mistake.
Emil put on his best face and went to the academy. He was about to talk to the professor who participated in the last interview.
However, Professor Warner Russel looked at Emil like he couldnât understand what he was going on about.
âThereâs no problem with the list of successful applicants.â
âI donât see my name on it.â
Fail? Me?
He couldnât even laugh at the unexpected answer. As soon as he tried to properly protest, Warner handed over the list of successful candidates to him.
âCheck it again then. If itâs not there, itâs not there.â
Emil was uncomfortable with the professorâs attitude, but he endured it and carefully went over the list that Warner handed him.
But, why?
âWhy is my name not here either?â
Thatâs absurd. No, it couldnât have happened.
The interview atmosphere was good and his results were the best. Why?
It was clear that something was wrong. Otherwise, he wouldnât have been rejected.
He crumbled the list of successful applicants that had unacceptable results. It was natural that Emilâs impression was horribly distorted.
âWhy?â
âEmil Leroy.â
âWhy was I rejected?â
As he asked this, he could feel his indignation rising.
No matter how much he thought about it, he couldnât understand. There was nothing wrong with his grades, the interviews, his personality test, or the evaluation given by the professors. Everything was perfect, but he still failed.
When Emil clenched his teeth and asked, Warner said with a more determined look than ever.
âThe Imperial civil servants are responsible for carrying out the business of the Empire on behalf of the people, and you are not qualified for that position.â
Warner continued before Emil could even ask why he wasnât qualified.
âYouâre spreading false rumors about your family. How can I trust you enough to pass you?â
Emil bit his lip to stop a sigh from escaping. He was apparently referring to the fact that he had spread a bad rumor about Leticia.
He needed to find out why Warner thought heâd done it, but that wasnât the main problem right now.
âIâve never done that.â
Emil answered, while keeping a straight face. There was no evidence anywhere, so he could confidently deny it. For now, the first thing to do was to explain that it was a misunderstanding, and get his name placed on the list of successful candidates.
But Warner had no intention of doing so.
âWell⦠Thatâs what your family member said directly to me.â
âWhat?â
âThey asked me if I thought you were qualified as an Imperial official even though youâd done such a thing.â
ââ¦.â
After saying that, Warner turned around as if he had no intention of continuing this conversation anymore. Eventually, Emil had no choice, but to leave the office with a gaunt look.
âWho was it?â
Who said that?
Unlike his pale face, his heart was boiling. He had the urge to find the instigator right now and tear them apart.
He couldnât breathe and his head burned hot. Emil once again looked at the list of successful candidates that was posted like this would be the last time.
ââ¦.â
As expected, nothing changed.
The moment he unconsciously clenched his fists, he felt a blatant stare. As he looked behind him, he made eye contact with Ian. He was leaning on Leticiaâs shoulder and staring at him. The corners of his mouth rose up smoothly.
Emilâs hands began to shake, then Ian mouthed something to him. Ian frowned with displeasure, and tried mouthing it again.
âFire, versus, day, la?â
At that moment, he could clearly hear something disconnecting in his head. The sound of people laughing at him kept lingering in his ears.
He couldnât afford to stay calm anymore. Emil approached Leticia without hesitation, his expression twisting fiercely.
âI have something to say to you, so please give me a moment.â
He barely calmed down enough to say this. By Emilâs appearance, it seems that heâd lost his composure and had rushed over here.
âDo it here.ân/ô/vel/b//in dot c//om
Elle, who was standing beside Leticia, wrapped her arm around Leticiaâs shoulder when she said this. Ian stood on the other side, perhaps thinking the same thing, he blocked Emil from approaching any closer.
âItâs okay, Iâll be right back.â
âButâ¦â
âPlease wait here.â
Leticia soothed Elle and Ian by gently stroking their heads. Emil, who was watching the scene, let out an annoyed sigh. He couldnât believe they were being affectionate like that when he was upset because heâd failed for a ridiculous reason. He just hoped that this problem could be resolved quickly and there would be no more problems.
Emil moved to a corner, once heâd confirmed that there was no one around them, he said.
âSay I didnât do it right now.â
âWhat?â
Emilâs voice got rougher at the sight of her confused expression.
âDo you think this is funny? If youâre trying to provoke me, you should take responsibility!â
He wanted to grab Leticiaâs shoulder right away, drag her to the professorâs office and demand she explain to him. However, Emil wiped down his face with a desperate look, because he knew better than anyone else that nothing would change.
He couldnât help, but laugh at the way she stared at him in the midst of it all. He was about to sarcastically ask the root of her desire to take him down like this, and did she feel better after doing this?
âI donât know why youâre acting like this. Donât grab people that arenât involved and talk to them like that.â
âThen who else would tell the professor that I spread such rumors?â
Only then did Leticia vaguely realize what Emil was so angry about.
Soon, an annoyed sighed escaped Leticia.
âHow can I know that?â
Leticia seemed somewhat annoyed, and she turned her head as she didnât want to get involved anymore. It was an attitude that said she didnât care to clear up the misunderstanding.
âThen, who on earth?â
He didnât know if sheâd done it or not. Even though he had no idea, Leticia glanced back. She seemed to want to go back to Elle and Ian.
Emilâs eyes were darkened by the future that was coming for him. When he thought of how the Marquis would reprimand him mercilessly for the news that heâd failed, he couldnât breathe properly, as if I were immersed in water.
âSisterâ¦â
They will be so ashamed of him. They will not treat him like heâs a human being. They will criticize him for failing to become an Imperial official because of something that he lacked. It was a normal reaction, because he failed to meet their expectations.
However, he was not confident he could endure their condescending gazes.
âSister, sister, sisterâ¦â
The anger that had been rising inside him disappeared before he knew it. Emil called out to Leticia as if he was barely hanging on. However, Leticia only looked at him with a blank expression. Knowing that, Emil still shamelessly leaned on Leticiaâs shoulder.
âJust this once, just this onceâ¦â
Please tell me itâll be okay.
[I know youâve been working hard. Good job.]
[Even if itâs not this, there are many things you can do. So itâs okay.]
[You did a good job. Thank you for doing your best.]
What Leticia said on the day Ian failed his first test came to mind. He remembered her touching his cheek affectionately to soothe his pain.
âI didnât mean to be angry.â
ââ¦.â
âSo please⦠Please say itâs okay.â
He desperately wanted to hear that right now. He needed to hear those words to soothe him.
Emil grabbed Leticiaâs sleeve and laid his head on her shoulder. He bit his lip tightly because he was afraid heâd begin to sob.
[Iâm proud of you.]
He remembered the day the results of his first ever exam at the academy came out. He didnât know how to study, so his grades were disastrous. Naturally, Marquis and Marquess Leroy made a fuss and said they didnât want to see him.
At that time, Leticia was the only one who comforted him.
[I know you worked hard.]
The touch that gently patted him, who saw him with a face that wanted to cry at any moment. Her gaze looked warmer than sunlight and her gentle voice was like a spring breeze.
[You donât need to meet their expectations.]
She always whispered to him like this.
[You make your own value.]
Whenever he collapsed, Leticia was the only one who helped him get back up.
Good job. Thank you. Youâre fine.
That father, mother, and other family members wouldnât say it. He was so desperate for what only Leticia could say.
But,
âGo to someone else and complain.â
His hand was coldly pushed away.
Leticia shook Emil off of her shoulder with her hand, and faced him straight on with dispassionate blue eyes. This was the first time in his life that heâd seen Leticiaâs eyes so cold, and Emil felt like the ground beneath his feet was collapsing.
However, Leticiaâs words were not over yet.
âIf something bad happens, you blame me. The only person to blame for what is happening right now is you.â
ââ¦.â
âAnd you still want me to say itâll be okay?â
While talking, Leticia smiled and took a step closer to Emil.
âI guess you think itâs unfair, but donât think like that.â
âSisterâ¦â
âThis is all what you did coming back to you.â
[Get ready to get back everything youâve done to me.]
It was what Leticia had told him that one day. He never thought the words would come back like this.
Leticia stepped back as if she had finished what she had to say and turned away. He tried to quickly catch up to her, but before he knew it Elle and Ian blocked his way.
âHey, since Ian passed, can we eat something delicious today?â
âIâm the one who passed. Why are you the one deciding how we celebrate?â
The twins stood casually in the place where he was supposed to be standing. Watching them leave, Emil couldnât say anything as Leticia smiled and looked at them affectionately.
***
âBrother, what happened? You passed, right?â
Upon arriving at the Leroy mansion, he encountered Xavier, who had just returned from the training hall. As soon as he saw Emil, he smiled and asked about the results, but Emil didnât even look at him.
âI want to be alone, so get out of my way.â
Emil was troubled about how to tell his family that he didnât pass. Right now, he just wanted to lie down in his room and cool off.
As soon as he entered his room and was laying down in bed, he heard a knock. The door opened before he could tell them he was tired and to come back another time.
âGo back, Irene.â
âI have something to say.â
âIâm tired right now, so go back.â
âI have to say it now, or else youâll blame our eldest sister.â
Irene said this in a calm voice, while she slowly made her way to his bedside. Until then, Emil didnât understand what Irene was saying.
âWhat do you mean?â
âI did it.â
âWhat?â
ââ¦.â
Irene was staring at Emil without saying a word for a moment, then she slowly began to speak again.
âThe reason why you failed.â
âNo wayâ¦â
Emil had been laying on his bed and looking up at Irene when she said this. Emil quickly got up, he stared at her hoping that it wasnât true.
âI was the one who talked to the professor.â