Chapter 54 - How Can I Confess First? What Can’t I Do
I Won't Go Back to My Family Who Abandoned Me
Chapter 54. How Can I Confess First? What Canât I Do?
***
âSo the person who started the rumor isâ¦â
While listening, Leticia bit her lip in disbelief.
âYou mean Emil?â
The story that followed was quite shocking.
Youâll lose luck, you will become unlucky, youâll become unhappy. Leticia felt an indescribably? dismay at the fact that Emil was the one responsible for the malicious rumor.
Enoch was sitting beside Leticia and was gently holding her hand when he said.
âThereâs no clear evidence that he did it, but the circumstances are pretty d*mning.â
âI seeâ¦â
Leticia was trying to act like she was okay, but her hands were shaking.
The reality was, that she had vaguely realized.
Diana was the type to stomp others into the ground directly, and she often avoided mercy as if it was filthy. Irene never did anything unless she was directly affected.
Emil, on the other hand, always guided other people in the direction he wanted without getting his hands dirty and there was always a reason for what he did.
That didnât mean that what he did was justified.
âThis may hurt to hear, but I still want you to be careful.â
âI know youâre saying this because youâre thinking of me.â
How could she not see how worried he was while he was speaking?
It was hard to hide her complicated feelings, so she tried to shake her head weakly.
âSo, Leticia.â
As Leticia looked up in curiosity, Count Aster slowly began to broach the subject.
âWhy donât you let my wife and I adopt you?â
âWhatâ¦?â
Count Aster smiled, as surprise crossed Leticiaâs face.
He didnât say this lightly. Since heâd heard of Leticiaâs excommunication heâd been troubled and agonized over what to do.
He couldnât bring himself to ask her, and swallowed the words, because he was afraid that his proposal might be a burden to her.
However, after learning that the person behind the rumor was Leticiaâs younger brother Emil, he could no longer sit still. He didnât know how they might try to harm her in the future.
Although he didnât share blood with her, he was at least confident that he would be able to protect Leticia with his status and title.
âI didnât mean for you to answer right away. Youâll need to think, too.â
Leticia smiled softly as she realized this was something that theyâd been thinking about for a while.
âThank you. Iâm going to think about it, too.â
She couldnât get rid of her muddy feelings yet, but she was able to cheer up a little bit because their worry touched a corner of her injured heart.
***
âAre you all right?â
They were on their way back to the Achillesâ mansion after talking to the Count and Countess.
Sitting side by side, Enoch looked worried. Leticia smiled unconsciously at the sight.
âIâd be lying if I said I wasnât upset, but Iâm much better since Iâm with you.â
âWhat do you want to do?â
Leticia knew what he wanted to do without having to ask.
If she wanted him to, he would pay back Emil a hundred times for the false rumor he spread.
âIâm angry and upset. Butâ¦â
People who cared about Leticia surrounded her, so she could stand firm.
âI donât want to push my hurt onto that child. Iâm fine with how things are right now.â
Looking at Enoch, Leticia entwined her fingers with his large ones.
âItâs a waste of time, Iâd rather hold your hand.â
She didnât want to waste time on her family whoâd given up on her a long time ago. She just wanted to make good memories with the people she liked.
Even if it was slow, she wanted to keep moving forward without hesitating.
Enoch gently covered both of Leticiaâs cheeks with his hands as Leticia smiled broadly.
âIâm worried about how youâll live in this harsh world while being so kind.â
Leticia laced her hands through Enochâs, his eyes showed the sincerity he felt towards her.
âThen Lord Achilles will protect me.â
Right?
When asked with sparkling eyes, Enoch grinned and said reproachfully.
âYouâre not very cunning.â
âItâs because I like it.â
ââ¦.!â
ââ¦.?â
Leticia could only look up at Enoch with a shy expression as he opened his eyes wide in surprise.
As soon as she belatedly realized what she had said, Leticia sucked in a breath.
âMy, I just, uh, justâ¦â
She was so ashamed that she wanted to disappear into thin air.
Just then, the carriage stopped and a voice told them that they had arrived at the Achillesâ mansion. As if she had been waiting for this, Letisha sprang up quickly.
âLeticia.â
She could hear Enoch calling to her, but Leticia quickly took the coachmanâs hand and alighted from the carriage. She practically jumped down.
She fled to her room and flopped onto her bed. She buried her face in her pillow, and screamed.
âCrazy, crazy, crazy!â
Why did she use the word?like?in that situation?
In the meantime, Leticia remembered a face that seemed to smile happily at what he said, and her chest felt suffocated because her heart was beating fast.
âDid it show too much?â
Leticia had managed to calm her excitement to some extent and stood in front of her mirror with gloomy thoughts. As soon as she saw her cheeks were still flushed, she felt unbearably embarrassed again.
She leaned her forehead against the mirror and murmured.
âItâs so obviousâ¦â
Elle, you liar.
***
After that, Leticia wasnât sure she could face Enoch, so she only went out at times when he wasnât around, and only on roads he didnât frequent. She avoided him so much that she didnât even notice when Enochâs gaze on her became unusual.
Apparently he had noticed that she was running away.
She went to the square this time because she knew that she couldnât keep avoiding him.
âHaâ¦â
She couldnât do this forever.
Leticia sighed to herself and wondered what she should do.
âIs it better to just confess? How do you confess first?â
Thereâs nothing she canât do, but shouldnât the person she loves approach her first.
Mad at the thought, Letisha took a long, deep breath and walked down the street. First, she had to figure out how to confess.
Suddenly she realized that it was crowded today.
âRight, the tournament.â
She forgot for a moment about the Swordsmanship Tournament and the festivities around it.
âHow do I confess?â
It was very embarrassing, but sheâd never confessed or been confessed to.
As she touched her fingertips with a troubled expression, she heard a nervous voice right next to her.
âIâve liked only you for a long time!â
Even those who passed by were surprised and looked back. A man held out a bouquet of flowers that were too big to hold in one hand towards the woman in front of him.
âWill you accept them?â
She could see his hands shaking.
âFlowersâ¦â
Leticia paused and imagined a picture of her confessing to Enoch, while giving him a bouquet of flowers.
âHmâ¦â
No matter how hard she thought about it, something about it was weird. As she walked away again, Leticia glanced back to watch the confession.
âDo I have to be in public like that?â
Thatâs a bit uncomfortable.
The more Leticia thought about what to do, the more she couldnât come up with an answer, and all she could do was sigh.
âI want someone to teach me how to confessâ¦â
As she mumbled to herself, an excessively flashy store caught her eye. Enchanted, Leticia approached it and the shopkeeper said with a broad smile on her face.
âIf you share the same ring, your love will come true. Miss, come and see what I have.â
âReallyâ¦?â
It was a plain-looking silver ring on the outside, but it had an unusual blue sheen to it.
Leticia picked up one of the silver rings, and looked at it closely. The owner said with a proud look.
âIf there is a shape or letter you want, I can engrave it very beautifully for you.â
âDoes it take a long time?â
âNot long at all. Iâll do it super quick.â
As she tapped her chest with confidence. Leticia frowned in thought, but her worry didnât last long.
âIâll face this head-on.â
Having come to a decision with a grim determination, she quickly fell into another dilemma.
âCome to think of it⦠What shape or letter should I use?â
She couldnât think of anything in particular, so Leticia stood in front of the store for a while, trying to come up with something.
Then she suddenly remembered that Enoch had cherished the handkerchief sheâd given him.
âAh! a four-clover.â
âDo you want a four-leaf clover on both of them?
âUh⦠Wellâ¦â
Leticia hadnât yet thought that far ahead, and clammed up again.
The owner, who was quietly watching her, carefully suggested.
âHow about a three-leaf clover?â
âA three-leaf clover?â
âYes, it has the meaning of âhappinessâ. The person who just visited had one engraved on his ring.â
âReally?â
âYes, yes. Iâm going to scold him this time if he doesnât confess! Haha!â
The shopkeeper laughed aloud, as if it was funny to remember that figure.
âThen what size would you like?â
âI think this ring size will do for me.â
Leticia paused.
Come to think of it.
âI donât know Enochâs ring size.â
Leticia looked down at her hand with a troubled look. Sheâd held his hand many times, so maybe it was possible to guess to some extent.
âUmm⦠I think this is close.â
She had no choice but to choose a moderately larger size than her own.
The owner asked her to wait a little while, since the engraving wouldnât take long.
Leticia was left alone and sighed melancholically.
âI didnât know buying a ring would be this hard.â
The next time they held hands, she would check the size of his fingers.
âHuh? I think this would look good on Elle.â
Leticia had been waiting for the store owner when a ribbon caught her eye. She reached out to see how it would feel when she touched it.n/ô/vel/b//in dot c//om
ââ¦.â
A hand overlapped over her own.
As soon as she raised her head to see who it was, Leticiaâs face turned cold.
âHaâ¦â
She didnât hold back her sigh, as she took two steps back. Levion frowned at her behaviour, wondering what heâd done that she didnât like.
âWhy canât you control your expression better? It puts me in a bad mood.â
âDo I have to take care of your feelings?â
Being face to face with him made her feel exhausted. She just wanted the owner of the store to come out quickly.
Leticia turned away with a loud huff, as if she no longer had anything to say. Levion stared down at the ribbon that Leticia had tried to pick up.
âDo you want me to buy this for you?â
âWhat?â
âYou were upset last time when your other ribbon broke.â
âWhat do you mean⦠Donât tell meâ¦â
It reminded him of the broken ribbon sheâd lost before she was expelled from the Leroy family.
The ribbon was still meaningful to her, she could only guess that Levion couldnât understand why sheâd been so angry.
âThatâs enough.â
It would hurt her if she had to explain it to him.
Levion was not done talking though.
âI want you to come to the Knightâs Swordsmanship tournament.â
ââ¦.â
âCanât you?â
He seems to have become used to Leticia ignoring him, so he kept talking to himself without any sign of discomfort.
âI wonât make you feel frustrated or upset anymore, I promise.â
âYes, I suppose.â
She replied insincerely, as she was waiting for the shop owner to come out. Finally, the shopkeeper returned with a happy smile and handed Leticia the rings with the engraved pattern she had requested.
âIâve made it especially pretty for you.â
âThank you for your help.â
Leticia immediately turned away after thanking the shopkeeper, but it wasnât long before Levion caught up to her.
âLeticia.â
The voice calling out to her sounded aggrieved, but the sound of his voice infuriated Leticia.
Leticia suddenly stopped walking and firmly shook off Levionâs touch. She looked straight at him and said.
âYou said youâd buy me as many ribbons as I wanted last time, right?â
Leticia continued on, not expecting an answer.
âCan you buy what I like, what would you buy for me, what would suit me?â
âWhat?â
âWhat I wanted wasnât a new ribbon.â
She was annoyed that she had to explain to him what sheâd been thinking so long ago.
âYou still donât understand? I wanted you to think of my feelings.â
ââ¦.â
âYouâre the one who treated my heart as insignificant.â
The more she spoke, the more she couldnât stand her twisted emotions. Leticia turned her head away.
âI didnât expect you to understand.â
âLeticiaâ¦â
âIâll just take it, I donât know if Iâll give it away.â
Leticia said this in a dry, emotionless voice and brushed past Livion. Fortunately, Levion was no longer following her.
However, her depressed thoughts did not calm down so easily.
As she was walking endlessly through the city, someone reached out their hand from an alleyway.
Caught by surprise before she could avoid it, Leticia looked up with a pale expression.
âI think I said it last time, Iâm narrow-minded and I hold a grudge.â
âLord Achilles!â
As she was about to greet him, she saw a ring on Enochâs finger that had never seen before. She knew that he didnât usually wear trinkets, or accessories, very often.
Leticiaâs expression hardened as soon as she noticed that the ring Enoch was wearing was silver with a bluish tint, like the rings she had seen in the store.
âYouâve already received one from someone else.â
That was the moment that her excited heart sank to the pit of her stomach.