Chapter 19 - In Order To Move Forward

***

‘It’s weird’

It was strange no matter how many times she thought about it.

The man who stood firm in front of her in a quiet hallway where only the faint trace of moonlight had crept in. The dark eyes that only contained Leticia, and her slightly disheveled hair, still came to mind clearly.

[Don’t put up with someone hurting you or taking you for granted.]

His eyes were cool, but his voice was so gentle that it brought tears to her eyes.

Leticia could feel that he meant it as he spoke, and she couldn’t look Enoch in the eyes.

[No one deserves to be hurt.]

Enoch was always like that.

He would say the words she wanted to hear the most as if it were the most natural thing.

‘What kind of expression did I have on my face at that moment…’

Leticia thought she might have bowed her head with a melancholic expression, and thanked him for his words.

One thing was for sure.

[Leticia. Is that what I should call you?]

That face that called her name with a sweet voice that seems to melt Leticia even now.

Unlike the cold and dry impression of midwinter, the way Enoch looked at Leticia was as warm as the spring sun.

[Sweet dreams. Leticia.]

The moment Enoch called her name with a soft smile, she could hear her heart thump.

Her fingertips started to itch, so Leticia stood there for a while and nudged them.

So it was strange.

‘Why?’

Leticia stared at her hand with a dazed expression.

She could still remember that feeling clearly and it made her face feel hot.

What was even weirder was that she didn’t hate the feeling.

‘Different.’

It felt different from when Levion called out her name.

‘Why?’

How can it be so different because the person who said it is different?

She tilted her head dubiously.

“I’m back…”

Leticia heard a wistful voice say as they sat down next to her.

Leticia turned to face Elle, who was sighing with a tired look.

“Were you able to return it?”

“No, I didn’t see him.”

Elle couldn’t find the man she bumped into that day even after searching for a long time.

After lying on the table for a while, Elle sat up again and glanced at the envelope. Aside from the fact that she hadn’t found her drawing, it bothered Elle that she hadn’t been able to return something important to the other person.

“I went to the place where I bumped into the man, but I couldn’t find him.”

“I’m sure you’ll see him soon. It’s an important item.”

“I really hope so.”

Elle, who was sighing a lot, looked at Ian and nodded to the kitchen.

“I’m going to make tea. Do you want to come with me, Ian?”

“No. I’m going back to my room.”

“Yeah, of course.”

Unlike Elle, who went immediately to the kitchen, Ian sat there brooding for a while before he left. At that moment, Ian’s face looked a little dark

Leticia watched his back in silence, his face was hiding some complex feelings.

‘What’s the matter?’

There didn’t seem to be anything wrong with Ian when they went to look for the man who had bumped into Elle. But it kept bothering her, so Leticia got up and went to Ian’s room.

Leticia walked down the hallway. She knocked on Ian’s door as soon as she arrived at his room.

“I’m coming.”

The door slowly opened after the short answer.

Ian opened the door with a dry look, his gray eyes widened as soon as he saw Leticia standing in front of him. He didn’t seem to have expected Leticia to show up.

“What’s going on?”

“I’m just wondering how you’re doing. Can I come in?”

“Sure.”

Ian quickly stepped aside in confusion.

Leticia nodded lightly and thanked him as she entered.

Ian’s room looked frugal and simple for a child from a noble family. The room reminded her of a study, without a single personal trinket and filled only with books.

Leticia was looking at the bookshelf and pointed to one book.

“I’m guessing that you’re preparing to be an Imperial civil servant.”

She’d seen Emil reading and studying various books in order to prepare for the Imperial civil service. It was clear that this was one of them.

“You mean this?”

At Leticia’s words, Ian took out the book, flipped through it, and put it back.

“It’s nothing.”

“Weren’t you interested?

“Rather than interested…”

“.…?”

“I think I should.”

His brother Enoch became an Imperial knight to revive the family, and his twin sister Elle was preparing to enter into her field of interest.

Ian was at a standstill because he didn’t have anything he liked or wanted to do.

“This is the only thing I can do.”

Fortunately, he was a little bit smarter than most people.

He wasn’t very happy about it.

He still hadn’t found the job he was meant to do.

‘I envy you.’

Ian murmured as he slowly patted his book.

Unlike him, who was unable to move forward, Elle knew exactly what she wanted to do.

He was feeling anxious.

A bitter smile spread across his face at the sinking feeling. Ian quickly changed the subject because he seemed to have said some useless things.

“Do you want to have tea with Elle?”

“Yeah, sounds good.”

Ian nodded and went with Leticia to the kitchen.

Before reaching the kitchen, Leticia suddenly stopped walking. Ian stopped and looked at her in question. Leticia opened her mouth.

“Why don’t you find something you like, not something you can do?”

“What?”

“I’ve never been able to find anything I like either, but…”

Leticia was briefly lost for words, then looked straight at Ian and continued.

“Let’s look for something we like together.”

There was a warm smile on her face as she talked to him. Ian felt a deep sense of comfort from it.

Ian always felt like he was lagging behind because he wasn’t good at anything other than being smarter than others. He felt sorry for himself and had trouble facing his family.

Perhaps that was why Leticia’s words were such a great comfort to him.

It was a common phrase that anyone could have said. Strangely, he could feel the sincerity in her words, and they didn’t sound like common words.

They sounded rather special.

“I understand why Elle likes Ms. Leroy so much.”

“What?”

Ian smiled instead of answering, looking at her as if he was saying what he meant.

“Let’s go.”

He beckoned her towards the kitchen and Leticia followed with a puzzled expression.

She glanced at him and saw that his profile was even more relaxed than before. Only then did Leticia smile.

‘I’m going to find it, too.’

What can I do?

What’s my favourite thing?

And…

‘What I want to do.’

I’ll find out for sure.

To move forward.

***

The day of the Imperial knighthood ceremony had finally arrived.

The morning sun was shining brightly. An excited Leticia finished getting ready and arrived at the front door of the mansion first. Elle arrived shortly after and greeted Leticia.

“Did you sleep well?”

“Yes, did Ms.Elle sleep well?”

“Oh no, not at all. I was so nervous that I couldn’t sleep a wink.”

It wasn’t even her investiture ceremony, but she was so nervous.

Elle, who had been laughing quietly, looked around curiously.

“But my brothers haven’t arrived yet.”

“I think he’ll arrive soon.”

“Really? Oh, right. I forgot the envelope.”

Elle almost forgot that she was going to the square as soon as the investiture ceremony was over, and she’d forgotten the envelope.

She looked at Leticia with her hands clasped together in a begging manner.

“I’m sorry, can you call on Brother to hurry up? I’ll collect Ian when I get the envelope.”

“Of course I’ll go now.”

Leticia nodded lightly and went to Enoch’s room.

When she arrived, she was strangely nervous. She tried to put it behind her and knocked carefully.

“It’s Leticia.”

“Yes, come in.”

She slowly opened the door.

Enoch had just finished putting on his uniform, and looked over at her with an embarrassed expression.

“I’m sorry. My sleeve button is not working well.”

Then he lowered his head again and began to put on his gloves.

Leticia stared blankly at his figure without realizing it.

‘Wow…’

Her breath caught before she could utter an exclamation.

Dark hair that stood out against white skin, and eyes that gazed down. The line of the waist and long legs that went under wide shoulders.

The form-fitting black uniform looked graceful and noble rather than darkening his cool impression.

‘It looks good on you.’

When she looked up, she met Enoch’s eyes who had a curious expression.

Startled, Leticia coughed and turned her head away. By chance she saw the undone sleeve.

“You’re not buttoned there.”

Enoch raised his wrist to button it. He was trying to do it alone, but it was hard. His hand was fumbling at it, which made Enoch frown.

After watching for a bit, Leticia slowly approached Enoch.

“Let me help you.”

“Thank you, my lady.”

As she reached out her hand, Enoch smiled as if he had been waiting and held out his wrist.

Leticia beamed happily at his smile, then paused for a moment.

‘This bracelet…’

As soon as she recognized the bracelet, Leticia involuntarily raised her head to look up at Enoch. Enoch tilted his head at an angle in question.

“You’re still wearing the bracelet.”

“Oh, this?”

At Leticia’s words, Enoch rolled up her sleeves slightly so that the bracelet could be seen better.

“I always wear it because only good things happen when it’s on.”

It was the gold thread bracelet that Leticia had put on Enoch during his entrance exam.

Leticia was surprised, she hadn’t expected him to go so far. She was touched, and couldn’t raise her head properly.

‘Yes.’

This is enough.

She was satisfied that he cherished her heart like this.

“Still, you might want to take it off.”

Leticia buttoned up his sleeve, touching the gold thread bracelet she’d given her.

“You don’t like that I’m wearing it?”

“It’s not that, I just don’t think it suits you.”

The gold thread bracelet could be glimpsed between the black sleeves. It wasn’t strange, but it bothered her because this was an important post.

“I don’t like it.”

“What?”

Leticia glanced up at Enoch, who was smiling down at her.

“I’m going to brag.”

“Lord Achilles…”

“There’s someone who cares about me.”

The gold thread bracelet could mean success, but it can also mean “affection” when given by a lover.

These thoughts came to mind and Leticia turned her head away to hide her reddened face.

“Isn’t that…”

“Don’t you care about me?”

Leticia jumped at the lonely sound of his voice.

“I do care for you! Of course I care for you…”

The moment their eyes met, Leticia’s voice trailed off.

Leticia looked down her hands to avoid his gaze, Enoch couldn’t help but chuckle. He needed to endure otherwise he’d be late to the Imperial knighthood ceremony if he teased her anymore.

“Shall we go?”

Leticia nodded with a smile to his gentle coaxing voice.

***

It was a sunny day with dazzling sunlight. The Imperial knighthood ceremony had begun.

White birds, symbolizing peace, soared high to fill the sky. Morgan Fides flowers, meaning loyalty, were scattered across the assembly hall.

A noble oath to give one’s life to the Emperor.

Among the many knights, only two people stood out because they were significantly opposite in looks and atmosphere.

It was Enoch Achilles and Levion El.

Leticia was clapping her hands while looking at Enoch when she felt a piercing gaze.? The moment she made eye contact with that person, her bright face hardened.

‘Levi…’

He looked at her with a colder look than he had a few days ago, and Leticia sighed and turned her head away.

.

.

.

The investiture ceremony ended without a hitch. Leticia was also able to take a breather away from Levion’s sharp gaze.

It was then that she felt an unusual presence approaching from behind her.

“Are you going to get revenge for being kicked out?”

The moment she turned around, Leticia was startled by a rough hand tugging on her shoulder. It was Diana, who had a ferocious look in her eyes.

“Diana, what’s wrong with you…”

“How can you go out and cause so much trouble?”

“Let me go…”

“Your existence itself is an unfortunate mess!”

Leticia’s head was starting to get dizzy as Diana shook her violently by her slender shoulders.

That’s when it happened.

“Stop it.”

*****

Note from Baset: Thank you all for reading “I won’t go back to my family who abandoned me”.

I wanted to apologize for how late this chapter was. I was feeling under the weather and needed to take a break. I’m feeling better now and releases should be back to a more normal schedule.

Thank you for your patience. (シ_ _)シ