Alpha’s Desire: Chapter 10

Angelina

I fit a pair of hoops through my earlobes and rub my lip glossed lips together, looking in the mirror. Jared’s already at the club working—he’s eased off sticking with me every second of the day, but it’s Saturday night and I’ll be down there to dance in an hour.

My limbs are loose, my butt still tingles and I’m sore in several key places from the spanking and sex Jared gave me before he left.

He said if he didn’t, he wouldn’t be able to stand watching me dance up on the box tonight. That he’d tear the heads off all the guys who looked at me and the spanking I’d get after would be way worse.

It’s so wrong that I want to tempt that fate. Because every minute I’m with Jared brings the sharp pain of knowing we can’t be together, even though we’re perfect for each other. With him, everything is easy. He gets me. Makes me laugh with his teasing, knows when to be serious. Understands what makes me tick—more than I do, I sometimes think.

And sex with him?

Better than dancing.

The first time I had sex was the summer after I graduated from high school. I told my boyfriend at the time it was almost as good as dancing. Needless to say, he was totally offended.

But the sex with Jared goes way beyond anything I’ve done with or to my body. It’s more artistic than a quadruple pirouette. More satisfying than the best choreographed piece. He lays me bare. Not just my body, but my very being—who am I at the core—and then he honors me. Pleasures me. Gives so much while he takes it all.

I sketched out my ideas for the warehouse, as he demanded. And I even made a list of dancers I’d like to ask to participate. I couldn’t quite bring myself to ask them, though. Because where would we rehearse? When? We’re all busy with the faculty’s stupid dances.

We’ve also carefully avoided the topic of our relationship. Like we both have this unspoken agreement to just enjoy this time while we have it.

But I know when he walks away, when the two weeks are up and he cuts me loose, I’m going to be begging to have my memories erased.

Because I won’t be able to live with the pain of what I’ve lost. What I can’t keep.

I grab my purse and hook it over my shoulder before I step out the door. My body’s already tingling with the excitement of seeing its master again.

When I leave to pick up Talya and Remy I can scarcely believe it’s only been one week since the crash. My whole world has changed. I’ve changed.

I pull up in front of Remy’s first and she comes out—all aglow with excitement. And she hasn’t even hooked up with a hot dominant werewolf who insinuates himself into the very fabric of her being.

But she’s like me, I guess. More excited by this dancing than what we have at school.

“How’s it going, girl?” she sings as she slides into the front passenger seat. “Ready to rock it?”

“You know it.” I take off before she’s buckled her belt. “Remy, do you have more fun with this dancing than school?”

“Hell, yes!” She doesn’t even hesitate.

“Why, do you think?”

“Oh my God, so many reasons.” She starts ticking off on her fingers. “I get to insert my own creativity in the process, we have a live and appreciative audience who aren’t all over eighty, I get to dance with my best friends, there’s no one breathing down my neck telling me I’m doing it wrong, there’s no one standing in the wings dying to stab me in the back to take my place… shall I go on?” She casts a look at me. “Why? What are you thinking?”

I shrug, deciding whether to hold back the words that have already tumbled to the tip of my tongue. “What would you think about doing a full length show? Like something super out there but totally entertaining? One part Cirque du Soleil, one part Blue Man Group, one part… I don’t know, what we do at Eclipse?”

“Hell, yeah!” Again, there’s no hesitation. I pull up in front of Talya’s house and when she gets in, Remy says, “Angelina’s going to choreograph a full length show for us. Total performance art badass shit.”

“Well, wait. I’m just thinking about it,” I splutter.

Talya leans forward from the back seat. “Do it! I’m totally in. One hundred percent.”

The twitters of excitement that I’ve flirted with ever since I first voiced my dream out loud to Jared flare up, flapping their wings so fast I lose my breath. “You are? Both of you?”

“Are you kidding?” Remy laughs. “I’d drop out of school and follow you anywhere to do this work. In a heartbeat. If you said we’re going to take this show on a tour of the country in a VW bus, I’d organize the bake sale to fund it.” She grins. “I’ve been dying for you to do more work like this.”

“Me too.” Talya smacks my shoulder. “I can’t wait! When do we start?”

“Um, well, I have to find us a space to rehearse in. And to perform. I want it to be an ongoing show—not just a weekend or two, but every weekend. Something that goes on the list of Things To Do in Tucson. Something we could make real money from—paid performances.”

“Okay, then I will have to worry about someone standing in the wings to take my place,” Remy says, but there’s a laugh in her voice. “That would be freaking amazing. My parents would die—they’ve always said I’ll never make any money as a dancer.”

“Same,” Talya says.

“Same,” I agree. “Let’s prove them wrong.”

Jared

Iscent the moment Angelina enters the club. You might say that’s impossible in a club filled with over one hundred moving, sweating bodies, but it’s true.

My wolf instincts kick into high gear and I whirl around, turn predator the moment I catch sight of her.

Oh fates, she’s wearing those short shorts. And a fucking halter top. The kind that ties right between her breasts and leaves nothing to the imagination.

Which can only mean one thing—she wants me to spank her again.

Heat coils in my belly, streaks down my spine. I stalk through the club.

She’s not a wolf, but her instincts are still good. She turns in my direction and we lock eyes. Her hair is in goddamn pigtails tonight, beautiful auburn fountains where she usually wears the cinnabons.

The second I get to her, I reach my hands under her armpits. She somehow intuits exactly what I’m going to do, because she springs up, her lithe little dancer’s body attaching itself to mine, muscular legs wrapping around my waist.

“Hi ladies.” I wink at her friends. “I’m going to borrow your girl for just a few minutes.”

One of them waggles her brows while the other gives us the wiggly finger wave. “Have fun!”

I carry her right back to the storeroom. The place where this all started. I’m praying it doesn’t remind her of how we left things after I got her off. Because I only want to make my girl hot right now.

The door doesn’t lock, but I carry her back behind the stacks of boxes, where no one will see us, even if they come in. “Baby, what are you wearing?” I growl.

She grins up at me, pure impish pleasure on her beautiful face.

My hands coast all over her ass, around the curves, between her legs, under the shorts. “You’re going to have my handprints all over this ass for all to see. Is that what you wanted, baby?” I nip her shoulder, flick her earlobe with my tongue.

She gives one of those sweet blushes. “I didn’t think about that part.”

“Oh you didn’t?” I rub firmly between her thighs, make her dampness soak through her satin panties. “But you knew you’d get spanked, right?”

She lifts her face to mine, her breath warm on my face. “Oh, I knew.” Damn that husky tone makes me want to throw her over a couple boxes and pound into her until she screams.

A little more finesse, buddy.

“You’re making it hard for me, baby. I really want to mark you so every fucker out there knows you belong to me.” I’m palming her ass with both hands, kneading the firm flesh with a hard, possessive grip.

A moment of insecurity flashes in her eyes and I curse our fucking situation. If she were a wolf, she’d already be marked. Permanently.

“But I don’t want to embarrass you, either.” I yank her up over the bulge in my pants and let her slide back down to her feet slowly. “So maybe I’ll settle for a good, hard fuck. And a few spanks where they can’t see them.”

“Mmm.”

“Jesus, Angelina, do you have any idea what you do to me?”

“Um…”

“Do you?” I growl, spinning her around. I open her shorts and shove them, with her panties, down her legs.

“Y-yes?”

“You do?” I pull her hands behind her back and pin them with one hand. Putting my foot up on a box of wine, I fold her torso over my knee and smack her ass. “Let’s see…” I lay three hard smacks right in the middle of her cheeks. “They won’t see here.” Three more.

She lets out a cute little gasp and moans.

I stroke between her legs. Juicy wet. Pure heaven. Need slams through me even harder, but I push it back.

“They won’t see here.” I slap her pussy.

“Oh God, Jared. Please.”

Oh God, Angelina. And shifters don’t even worship the god with a capital G. But hearing her beg me in that needy tone does something crazy to my insides. I have a finger wedged inside her before I even decide to do it. She struggles against my hold on her wrists, grinding her hips back into me to take my digit deeper.

I pull my finger out and slap her pussy again. “No, I said a hard fuck. That’s what this naughty pussy deserves. Tempting me all over again when I just fucked her raw a few hours ago.”

I slap her ass a few more times, then pick her up and sit her on top of a stack of boxes, waist height. Eyes glazed, she spreads her knees wide for me.

“That’s right,” I growl, freeing my erection from my jeans. “Spread those milky white thighs wider. Show me where I’m going to pound.”

She reaches down and spreads her pussy wide with her fingers and I nearly cum all over my hand.

“Fuck, Angelina. How in the hell do you think I’m going to keep my sanity tonight? Knowing this sweet little pussy’s hiding right there, under those shorts?” I fumble to get a condom on.

She rubs herself and whimpers.

I grab her wrist. “Uh uh. Mine.” I line up with her entrance and ease in. “Mine, mine, mine, mine.” I slap my loins into the cradle of her legs, getting deep inside her.

She’s tippy on the boxes, and she grabs my forearms to keep from falling back.

I growl and shove another stack of boxes behind the one she’s on, lay her back. “How’s that baby?”

“P-perfect.” Her teeth chatter with my thrusts, because I can’t stop giving it to her hard, marking her in the only safe way I can.

“Squeeze those nipples. Pinch them hard. This is punishment, baby. Daddy’s going to make it hurt before I make it better.”

She laughs, throaty and sweet. “Too late. It’s already good… so good.”

I can’t help but smile back, because she’s so damn adorable. Sweat gathers at my brow and my muscles strain, but I don’t ever want it to stop. “Guess I’ll have to fuck your ass again when we get home,” I threaten.

She orgasms, her pussy tightening and releasing around my cock.

I thrust deeper. Harder. Faster. “Yeah, you’re definitely taking it in the ass later. I never said you could come.”

Her eyes roll back in her head, mouth opens in a silent scream. I clench my teeth, balls tightening up. I close my lips around my own roar and bury myself deep inside her. I lean forward and attack one of her breasts, pulling it out of her halter top and bra, sucking, squeezing, kissing.

Biting.

She arches up into my mouth with a mewl.

“Fuck, I want to take your ass right now.” I reach under her ass and find her back pucker with the pad of my middle finger.

Her pussy squeezes again, milking the last drops of cum from my johnson.

The storeroom door opens and I pull her down, quickly, hiding our bodies behind the boxes.

She laughs silently as we yank our clothing back in place. I fall on her mouth, kissing away her lip gloss and squeezing her ass. I can’t get enough of this girl—even fresh off an orgasm.

“Fates, I think I will have to give you the belt tonight. I’m going to be harder than marble all night watching you.”

She looks up and blinks. “Do your eyes change color?” She sucks in a quick breath. “I thought I saw that once before. Is that your wolf?”

I go perfectly still, staring down at her. “Are they yellow?”

She nods.

My hands on her tighten. Does this mean—? Could she be my mate? Is my wolf coming to the surface to mark her?

She rises to her tiptoes, balancing easily as she bats those long lashes. “I want to see your wolf.” It’s an excited whisper. Not a request, but not an assumption, either. She watches me with hopeful expectation.

How in the fuck can I say no?

I crush my lips against hers.

“Is that a yes?” she asks breathlessly when we break apart.

“Tomorrow,” I promise. “I’ll take you up to Mt. Lemmon.”

“Yes!” She bounces on her feet and pulls me down for another kiss. “Thank you. I can’t wait!”

Things have shifted. There’s a weight to my commitment. Not a heaviness, just a significance. I’ve agreed to show her my wolf.

Because she’s my mate?

Is it wrong that I’m starting to hope so?

Yes, definitely. Because I still can’t keep her. But fuck if I don’t want to.

Angelina

Jared isn’t in the bed when I wake up. He had to stay late at Eclipse for pack business and I was asleep when he came to my place. But I am sure he came in last night. I remember him climbing into bed beside me and curving his large body around mine.

Pure heaven.

All these little moments are ones I haven’t had with past boyfriends—not that I’ve ever really taken a serious boyfriend. I mean, I’ve dated a little. But I’ve never stuck with a guy for more than a few months, and while they may have spent a night at my place on a weekends, it was never like this.

I’ve never felt more wrapped up in a relationship than I do with Jared.

The one guy I can’t have a relationship with.

I hear the sound of a motorcycle outside and I scramble out of the bed and look out my window.

There he is. Unbelievably hot in a tight black t-shirt, tattoos snaking down his forearms, a new motorcycle between his powerful thighs. At least it looks like a new motorcycle.

He parks it in my driveway and picks up a helmet that’s hanging from the back seat.

I go running for the door and fling it open.

“Hey, baby. You’re up.” He looks so genuinely happy to see me.

I don’t know why that surprises me. Maybe because I grew up feeling like a nuisance to my dad and before Jared I picked indifferent men who couldn’t really give me their full attention.

Now I’ve picked one who gives me more attention than I’ve dreamed of, but I can’t have him.

Same story, different twist. Unavailable.

He sets the helmet on the table by the front door and comes at me, his hands reaching for my waist, tugging up the little pink cami I slept in.

I giggle and catch his hands. “Did you get a new bike?”

His eyes gleam with hunger. “I did.” He ignores my attempts to stop him and tugs the cami off over my head.

I turn to run—only because I love when he catches me—and he does.

“Baby, you come to the door in nothing but a few scraps of fabric, you’d better know I’m going to be putting my hands all over you.”

I giggle. “I know.” That certainty is part of the massive appeal to Jared. I’m desired. Every minute of the day.

He kisses my neck, backing me down the hall.

“Is the helmet for me?”

“Mmm hmm.” He nips my ear.

“For the trip to Mt. Lemmon?”

“Yes. Unless you’re scared.”

“I’m not scared,” I say quickly. The fantasy of riding on the back of Jared’s bike has been with me since I first started dancing at Eclipse. And knowing he will show me his wolf at the end of the ride completes it.

“Good.” He pushes me into the bathroom. “Were you going to shower before we go?”

“Um…” I’m only confused because his hands are all over me, his tongue in my ear.

“I’ll help you.” He shoves my panties down my thighs until they drop to the floor.

I loop my arms around his neck. “That sounds like a plan.”

Angelina

The hour long ride up Mt. Lemmon is spectacular. I’m a little wind-worn by the time we get there, but I loved every second of it. Jared drives the bike like it’s an extension of his body, control and power humming beneath us.

He pulls up at a cabin nestled in the woods and turns off the bike.

“What is this place?” I step off the bike and try to find my footing on my wobbly legs.

“It’s a cabin owned by one of our kind. Not exactly a pack member, but a friend of the pack. Real wealthy guy. I asked for permission to use it today, and he agreed.” Jared pulls a saddle bag from the motorcycle and carries it up the door, where he punches a code into a keypad.

“Cool.” I follow him in, taking in the rustic, yet very well-appointed cabin.

He unloads the saddlebag, which is filled with food from a deli—fresh cut up fruit, fried chicken, potato salad, and a sack of brownies. “Hungry?”

I eye the food. “Um. I probably shouldn’t.”

He lifts a brow. “What the fuck does that mean?”

His tone stings, and I turn my head to hide a flush.

In a flash I’m in his arms, my cheek pressed against his chest. “Baby, that came out wrong. Are you telling me you’re hungry but don’t think you should eat? Because that’s not gonna slide with me.”

I nuzzle into him, loving this protective streak he has for me. “I’ll eat,” I concede quickly. “I definitely don’t want to go up against an angry wolf.”

He chuckles and strokes the back of my head. “I didn’t mean to scare you, angel. Did I?”

“You hurt my feelings a little. I don’t like to get yelled at. But it’s all good. I appreciate what you’re doing for me.”

He drops a kiss on the top of my head. “I won’t yell again.” He sits in a chair at the table and pulls me into his lap, then proceeds to hand feed me until he’s satisfied I’ve eaten enough. Only then does he eat what’s left.

“Okay, angel. You ready to meet my wolf?”

I jump up from his lap. “Yes!”

He stands and peels off his t-shirt. “It’s bigger than a normal wolf. Don’t be afraid, okay? I won’t hurt you.”

“I’m not afraid.” Excitement wings through my chest. It’s like I have some secret belief that seeing his wolf will close the gaps between us. The differences keeping us apart.

He kicks off his boots, then unbuttons his jeans and shucks them. His boxers and socks come off last, and then he’s naked. With the world’s biggest boner.

Again.

It seems this man never gets tired of me.

“I’ll probably need to run. If I leave through the doggy door, just make yourself at home here, okay? I’ll come back when I get my animal under control.”

I don’t understand what he’s talking about, but I nod, anyway.

Jared gives a curt nod and then his eyes turn gold. He drops to all fours, a giant white and silver wolf. So beautiful I want to weep.

Maybe I do weep.

I definitely drop to my knees and throw my arms around his furry neck. He whines and licks my face while I stroke him all over. Beautiful, soft fur. Massive animal.

I’m in total awe of him.

“Jared,” I breathe.

He shudders and bolts, running straight for the doggy door in the kitchen. And then he’s gone.

I fling open the door, not to follow, just to watch. He covers ground swiftly, his massive paws leaping across the soft forest floor.

“Have fun,” I murmur, leaning my hip against the doorway.

Incredible, gorgeous wolf.

Seeing him sets off a longing I can’t describe. It’s a tug in my belly. A deep need or desire that I don’t even understand.

Do I want to be a wolf too?

No, that’s not it.

I want him.

I want to keep him.

Forever.

Tears spear my eyes.

Why can’t this work?

Jared

Angelina seems subdued after she sees my wolf. Maybe she finally understands how inhuman I am. How we can’t be together. That thought shouldn’t make me feel so fucking desperate, but it does.

She presses her body right up against my back on the ride down the mountain, like she can’t get close enough, and yet there’s a flavor of melancholy to her.

Is this goodbye?

Fuck.

I fear it is.

I take her back to her place and we walk in, slowly. “So what do you have going for the evening?”

I saw her time blocked off on her phone, but it didn’t say what for. It was a recurring Sunday night date, whatever it is.

“Oh, um, not much,” she says. “Are you hanging around?”

I slow to a stop at the weird strain in her voice.

Did she just lie to me?

When she looks at me, guilt washes over her expression.

I stunned at how badly it hurts. Unbelievably. Like a monster truck just rolled across my chest.

“I usually have dinner with my parents on Sundays.”

There’s the truth. But the pain doesn’t ease. It amplifies. Because Angelina’s voicing what I’ve always known but somehow tricked myself into believing wasn’t true.

I’m not good enough.

Not for Angelina’s parents, who want what’s best for her. Hooking up with me may be fine for a two week fling, but I’m not the guy she brings home.

Ever.

I shove my hands in my pockets. “Yeah, I got it. That’s cool.” My voice sounds strangled. The urge to hit something is huge.

Or to shift and run.

“Yeah, I have pack business to take care of. I’ll catch you later.” I head for the door. I literally can’t stand another minute in her place because I’m suffocated by loss.

Which is stupid, because she was never mine to lose.

But this is a good thing. Because I’d just started wondering if she’s really my mate and whether I can figure out how to make this work.

The answer is no.

Which I knew from the start.

So walk away. And even though it kills me, I’ll have to break my word and get her wiped. Maybe I can get her to agree to it. That needs to be my one and only strategy.

Stop fucking her.

Convince her to let go of these memories.

Our memories.

“Jared.”

I stop at the door and look back, arranging my face into what I hope is a pleasant expression.

“Yeah?”

“It would just be awkward with my parents—”

I wave my hand. “Oh, I know. That’s why I’ll stay out of your hair. Catch you later.”

I walk out, leaving my bludgeoned heart flopping around on her living room floor.

But there’s nothing that can be done. I did this to myself.

And to her.

I have no one to blame but myself.