0.31

William

The rest of my time in the hospital wasn't awful.

I started to try and eat more, realizing that it's the only way I will be able to leave sooner. The doctor started to threaten to feed me through a stomach tube and I knew it wasn't an empty threat.

My mom started to stay less and less. She'd obviously come after work, but only for an hour before going home.

School was back up and I had to get Lucille to get all my work. A majority of it was assigned on the computer, so I didn't have much trouble keeping up.

I have been here for two and a half weeks and I was finally allowed to leave after 4 since my weight went up enough and I was stable.

Nicholas told me that everyday I looked healthier and not as sick, so that was good,I guess.

The doctor constantly asked me if I wanted to go to a mental unit, but I constantly disagreed. She would leave it alone, but ask again the next day.

Some of the cuts were beginning to heal, some were starting to finally scab over.

My mom told me she set up an appointment with a psychologist  this weekend, then told me I'd probably have to go to a psychiatrist then a therapist.

I had to try and keep up with what each did, but I was upset about seeing all of them. I'm going to have to take medicine and talk to a stranger.

Amazing.

"They aren't that bad." Nicholas tells me as I pull my shirt down, glad that I was able to wear proper clothes. "It's better than the school consular."

"Have you been to a therapist?" I questioned, running my fingers through my damp hair. He nodded. "Have you had to take meds?"

Again, he nodded, "I stopped this school year. I took them all freshmen and sophomore year. Mainly for just PTSD and anxiety."

I frown, walking over to him. "Did they work?"

"Not at first," he starts, grabbing my hand to kiss it. "I had to change up my prescription a few times. After a month, they'd make an appointment to see if they're working. Took nearly 6 months because I tried to make them work and didn't listen. But I eventually got the right ones."

"Oh." I mumble, looking around the empty hospital room. "I'm glad you're okay now."

He smiles, pressing a kiss to my head, "thanks. I want you to be okay, though. Just try and cooperate, your parents just wants what's best."

I nodded, wrapping my arms around his waist. I was so glad he was here, I haven't seen him much since school started.

We've been together for a little over a month and he hasn't changed a bit, so that was a major relief.  I really liked him and was more than happy to be with him everyday.

"My mom's going to be here very soon." Nicholas tells me, giving me a tight squeeze. "She's really happy to see you."

I was going home with Nicholas's mom since my parents (mainly my mom) were tired of me. My mom became friends with Nicholas's, so that was good.

I was just going to spend the evening with Nick and his mom, including having dinner. Part of me was excited, another part of me dreaded it.

Eating has been constantly a battle. Sometimes I wouldn't eat for the entire day, sometimes I'd eat almost every meal and a good amount, it just depends.

"That's good. I can't wait to leave." I finally reply. My parents filled out the release papers this morning after I got weighed, so I was just dressing and waiting for Nick's mom.

My dad was a bit reluctant to let me go since I am just now getting out of the hospital, but Nicholas's mom convinced my mom to convince him.

"I bet." Nicholas kissed my head again before looking down at me. "I can't wait to be alone with you."

I smirk at his words, but I knew what he meant. "We're alone right now." Nicholas laughs, holding me closer in his arms.

I practically ran to Nicholas's mom's car once I saw it, inhaling the fresh air. It feels like it's been forever since I've gotten fresh air.

"Good afternoon, loves." Brynn beams as I slid into the back seat. "William, how was your last day?"

"Better than my first." I say with an awkward chuckle. She laughs gently, beginning to drive once Nick was in the passenger seat.

"That's good."  She says while turning the radio down. "Sorry it took so long, the traffic was awful."

Nicholas's mom asked a few more questions, just trying to check up on me since I haven't seen her in forever.

Nick held hishand back through the small opening between his seat and the door, discreetly holding it throughout the ride.

The car soon stopped and I was quick to leave the vehicle, staring at the fiamilar house.

"Now, boys," Brynn began as grabs a lanyard, "I have to go to work for an hour or two. A last minute client and no one is willing to go in. The condoms are underneath my sink, be back soon."

My jaw drops and Nicholas tensed, "Mom! No!" My cheeks heated up and I slapped my palm against my forehead. "Why would you... Mom!"

Brynn giggles, giving her son a kiss on the cheek along with me as well.

She said her goodbyes before leaving and locking the door.

"Alone at last!" Nicholas beams, begining to pepper kisses along my neck, holding me against his body. "I missed you so much."

"You have been with me for the past hour and a half." I point out, allowing him to lead me into his living room.

"I know, but I miss spending time with you, only you, somewhere where no one else is."

I smile in agreement as he sat onto the couch, pulling me down with him. His lips connected with mine and I felt like I was on top of the world.

I cup his cheeks, feeling the softly stubble on his face. Our lips molded into each others as his hands held firmly onto my waist.

"Will." Our lips pulls apart for a second because of him words, reconnecting almost instantly. I hum in reply against his mouth, earning a soft groan from him. "I need to tell you something."

Our lips separated and I stared at him in curiousity, swirling my finger through a lock of his hair, my other hand caressing his face. "What is it?"

Nicholas pressed his forehead against mine, peppering sweet kisses onto my lips. "I have a confession."

I hum as I thought, "you're pregnant and it's my child?"

He laughs, "definitely. You know, there was this study where there's a 1 in a gazillion percent chance for a male to get pregnant."

I tilt my head, "how? Is gazillion even a real number?"

"Some guys are born with uteruses and from sperm going into their anus, they can get pregnant." He informs me, kissing my jaw. "Cool, right?"

I shake my head, "I don't think that's possible, Nick."

"It was some article I read, it also talked about witchcraft, so I'm not too sure it's entirely truth." Nicholas commented with a shrug. "What was I saying before?"

My hands continue to toy with his hair as I adjusted on his lap. "You just said you had a confession to make. Are you secretly straight?"

He shakes his head, connect our lips briefly.  "I... I think... I might... Uh... I think I might sorta, kinda, maybe, love you."

My heart started to race millions of miles faster and it swelled with joy. Butterflies swarmed in my stomach as a smile grew on my lips.

"You do?"

Nicholas sheepishly nods, his eyes still on mine. "I've never gotten to say that to someone without feeling forced or actually meaning it. I've never realized what love meant before you. And I know we've only been together for a little over a month, I know this is too fast, maybe. But... I love and adore you so much."

My heart melted at his words and I could've cried tears of pure happiness.

Someone actually loves you. Even after seeing you struggles, in the fucking hospital, at your worst... He still loves you.

"Awe." I let out, smiling widely at my boyfriend. "That makes me happy."

"I'm glad you're happy right now." Nick responds with a silly, lovestruck grin. "That's all I want."

I kiss his soft lips, filling every gap between our faces. His arms tightened around my waist as he pulled me closer, pressing me into him.

I really, really liked Nicholas. I've never really thought of the word "love", mainly because of what happened the last time I said it to someone.

But I was caught up in the moment and I don't think I even meant it.

It feels like I've known Nicholas forever, even though it's been a short few months, only one of them we were together. He makes me so happy and it feels longer than just a month.

I care about him more than I care about myself a majority of the time, and he's always there for me.

It was hard to imagine how my life would be without him, I didn't want to even think about that.

"Oh, Nicholas." Our lips caused and he looked at me with those gorgeous, hazel eyes of his. "I love you too."

An adorable, large smile plasters on my boyfriend's face. "You better." I giggle, stuffing my face into his shoulder while my arms wrap around him. "I'm so glad you're here."

"I am too."

My breath was caught in my throat as I stared at the plate of food in front of me, pushing it around. It was a small portion and the food looked great, but I wasn't in the mood to eat.

Nicholas squeezes me knee in assurance once he noticed I haven't eaten a single thing on my plate yet. Brynn was busy eat, sending me a warm smile every few minutes.

"You don't have to eat all of it, I'm sorry if I gave you too much." She said while I cut a small part of the cubed, oven roasted potato.

"You didn't." My arm felt like it was shaking as I guided the small piece of food into my mouth.

I frown at the thought of eating most everything on my plate. I know Brynn said I didn't have to, but it would be rude of me not to eat a majority of it.

There was a small squeeze on my knee, making me feel a bit better.

I slowly ate more, already feeling queasy as I felt my stomach fill. The food was amazing though, much better than hospital food.

If you eat so more potatoes, you'll get fat from the carbs. And all that fat in that meat, you have no idea how much is hidden in it.

What about the oil used to cook the potatoes in? The grease from the meat? The butter and salt in the green beans?

No wonder you're look like a sack of shit.

I set my fork down, staring at the half finish food. Stop eating. You've eaten enough today. You are nearly that entire piece of toast for breakfast, and all that butter on it too, you're disgusting.

I wanted to eat more, so much more. However, I was a beginning to feel full, even though I didn't eat that much. I knew if I kept eating, I'd get full and feel the need to purge.

It was my first day back from the hospital, I can't purge already. I needed to make some type of progress. Eat less, excersize more. Simple. You should've done that in the first place.

"I'm, uh, full." I announced, staring at the plate. "It was really good, I missed eating something other than hospital food."

Brynn looked at the food left on my plate, smiling in approval at the amount I ate. "That's fine, I'm glad you liked it."

I put the remainder of the potatoes left on Nicholas's plate before Nick's mom said to just throw the rest away.

I felt awful wasting such good food, but I don't think they were going to eat the remaining.

By the time I got back to the table from the dishwasher, Nicholas was eating his last bite, quickly going to take wash his plate.

"I know this is all hard" Brynn began, " I can't image what you're going through and everything you're thinking. I'm always here for you, love, I'm not just your boyfriend's mom."

I thank her quietly, showing a weak smile.

Nicholas and I sat in his room after dinner, trying to distract me from the urge and sick feeling. I hated the feel of food inside me.

"And this is Flash, the only DC figure I have." Nicholas holds up a box with a bobble head of the superhero inside, staring at it as if it was his most prizes possession. "Then here's another Nightcrawler."

If anyone stepped into Nick's room, it would be obvious he was obsessed with marvel.

He had a stack of old comic books and movies all about the super heros. Old Wolverine and Cyclopes costumes from when he was younger were hung up in his closet still. He had posters and signs all about Marvel.

He even had an entire bed set of just marvel characters, but said it was "too childish," to put it on. That didn't stop him from keeping a stuffed Hulk plush and Iron Man blanket on his bed.

"I think Thor is hot." I say, staring at one of the comics. "And that Ghost Rider dude."

"I'd fuck him just to be burnt to crisp." Nicholas admits, flopping beside me on his bed. I giggle, poking his cheek. "Hey."

"Yes?"

He grins at me, "I love you."

I could never get used to hearing those simple words. The words that were so simple, but effective.

(That's also a One Direction joke T_T. If you've watched the video diaries and when Louis says "will you marry me?" And Harry says, "Simple, but effective." *cries* Sorry, continue the next few sentances...)

I stick out my lip in awe, staring down at him. My fingers began to trace his face as I reply.

"I love you too, asshole."

It's 5:52 am and I have to wake up around 9:30-10 in the morning :'( I've had a shitty night/ morning. Writing this chapter definitely helped me feel better.

Hope you're enjoying!

~Whoops