18. Dinner confessions

Sian greeted us with a bottle of red wine in her hand and a beaming smile on her face when we arrived at her flat, Sunday evening. I had rung her, earlier that day, to make sure she had enough room at the table for Alec.

Her apartment could have easily been a showroom for Ikea. From the entrance to her stylish white kitchen, there was not one item out of place. I walked through each room, noting it hadn't only been cleaned in anticipation of our arrival.

"This is such a lovely flat, Sian. It feels so homely," I complimented as I looked around her bedroom. Alec was in the kitchen with James, talking about a player transfer in some football team. Sian and I had left that discussion as soon as it started.

"Thanks, babes. I love it here. Mum and dad helped kit it out and James is already house trained," she giggled and took a sip of her wine. "So what do you think of him so far? I was so nervous before you arrived."

I flopped down onto her bed and bounced up and down a few times. "He seems nice. Nicer than the other Reed brother."

"He is, isn't he? And he's so hot! Oh, if only you knew the things he does with his–"

"Sian, food's ready," James yelled from the kitchen.

"A confession, I'll save for later." She winked. "Come on, let's eat." Sian pulled me up from her bed and through to the small dining table in their living room.

Dinner went better than I expected. James was actually quite witty. I felt awful for having misjudged him all these years. Alec appeared to like him too, football being their main topic of conversation. James didn't hide the fact he was once a player, but reassured us those days were long behind him. It was easy to see the love between Sian and him. She hung on every word that left his lips, and he looked at her as if he was discovering something new about her each time.

When Sian left the table to get dessert, Alec rushed after her asking if he could help. Throughout dinner, I noticed him nervously picking at his paper napkin. Small pieces of the white material flew to the floor as he stood up.

James stared at my side as I sat turned towards the closed-off kitchen. "So when did you and Alec become a thing?"

"Oh, we're not a couple," I answered as I faced him and took a slow sip of the drink Sian had left in front of me. My nose scrunched up. I was still not a fan of red wine as the horrible taste lingered on my tongue.

"Oh, okay. What do you reckon they are talking about?" James shuffled back in his chair and crossed his arms.

"Beats me. Alec's probably playing the big brother part and making sure she's happy."

Sian came bursting into the room, two chocolate mousses in her hands, shaking her head. A red-faced Alec followed behind her with the other two desserts.

The four of us sat there in awkward silence as our spoons clinked against the glass of the bowls. Every so often, James would rub Sian's knee as she glared at a sheepish Alec.

I needed to know what had happened in the five minutes they spent alone in the kitchen. I excused myself from the table, asking Sian if she could help me with the invisible chocolate stain on my forest green dress.

Once in her bathroom, I locked the door behind us and perched on the edge of the bathtub. Sian lowered the toilet seat so she could sit down.

"There's no chocolate stain, is there?" she sighed. She bent forward to rest her elbows on her knees and her chin on her upturned palms.

"No." I ran my hands through my hair. "Before you explain what happened in there, with Alec, I need you to listen to me and not interrupt. I know you think it's a bad idea, but I think I'm ready to see how my feelings for Alec play out. I don't think I want him to just be my friend. When we're together, I want more, and I'm scared I'll regret it if I don't try," I confessed.

I prudently peered over at Sian, hoping she wasn't ready to explode. She stared at the wall in front of her and closed her eyes.

"Say something, Sian," I whispered.

She wiped her face and let out a slight huff. "What is it with you two, needing to have a heart-to-heart, tonight of all nights. Couldn't we have just kept it to a quiet night amongst friends, getting to know my boyfriend? Now you two are making me piggy in the middle. I'm telling you now if this goes sour, I'm not picking sides."

"What do you mean by 'you two'? What were you and Alec talking about?" My heart pounded harder against my ribcage.

"Argh, you didn't hear it from me, okay? Promise me, Nat. Alec can't find out I told you. He's my friend too, and I swore I wouldn't meddle." She squeezed my face and yanked me closer.

"I promise. Now, let go of my cheeks. That hurts," I grunted.

"Alec told me earlier, he was fed up of waiting in the background and was finally going to tell you how he really feels about you. I tried to scare him off to see if it was just a phase, but he said he's felt this way forever. I might have screamed at him a little for being a coward," Sian revealed, a sly smile creeping onto her face.

My chest tightened and I swatted her arm. "Why did you scare him? No wonder he's been so quiet. Hope told me he liked me, but I guess it's confirmed now. Ahh, Sian! I'm so nervous and excited at the same time," I whisper-yelled.

We stayed in the bathroom for a few more minutes while I explained my confrontations with Hope and her little game. Sian apologised for trying to dissuade Alec and I from taking our relationship beyond the friendship line. She was only looking out for us both. The boys never questioned what why we took so long.

On the way home, Alec was in a world of his own. From the moment he walked out of Sian's kitchen, he barely uttered two words. I caught him a couple of times glancing at me but just as quickly looked away.

Parked outside my house, Alec spun his body around in his seat and rested his head on the headrest. He lifted his hand to my face and stroked my cheek with his thumb. "I can't see you this week. My parents are taking us all away on a mini-break, but I really need to talk to you soon. Do you reckon you could keep next Saturday free?" His husky voice was almost pleading.

I nodded as my voice caught in my throat. "Yeah, I don't have any plans."

Alec kissed my forehead and watched me walk up to my front door. I heard his car drive off a short time after I closed it behind me. A mix of disappointment and sadness washed through me as I traipsed up to my bedroom. I was disappointed he only kissed my forehead and I felt glum at the thought of having to wait almost a week before seeing him again.

***

Despite Alec being on my mind, non-stop, the rest of my week passed quickly. Max had sent a few more messages since his unwelcome 'HOT' comment, but I did my very best to ignore them, so I could move forward. I was a coward, but I knew if I saw him in person, I would get sucked back into his vortex of mind games. Thank goodness my one and only experience of sex was one I wasn't in a hurry to repeat, especially with him.

Saturday arrived sooner than I expected, and I could barely sit still all day. Alec called on Friday, asking I be ready for nine pm. Apparently, it was the earliest I would be able to see him. His parents were dropping him at his house early evening, and he wanted to get washed and changed before picking me up.

I suggested we met on Sunday instead if it was easier. That didn't go down very well. I heard Alec panicking over the phone, reassuring me that he would still make it, and we needed to catch up Saturday night.

After his call, I rang Sian to ask if she would keep me company. She was happy to oblige, insisting she was about to ring me to arrange a shopping day and asked if we could bring Rosie with us.

My birthday was Wednesday. My parents, Rosie and Sian clubbed together for my gift, a voucher at a local hair and beauty Salon. Rosie and Sian handed the voucher over, while we ate breakfast, claiming I should use it before meeting Alec as they were both busy on the actual day. Why we couldn't go next weekend, I had no idea?

I was tweezed, threaded and waxed to an inch of my life. My hair was trimmed to below my shoulders and curled, and my nails were painted in something the beautician called 'Sweet Toothache'. To me, it was a soft pink, one amongst a bunch that looked oddly similar.

Once we were done there, we headed into town for a spot of shopping. Our browsing lasted an hour before both Rosie and Sian respectively received urgent phone calls. Apparently, Daniel felt ill, so Rosie needed to go straight to his house, and Sian's dad needed her on the farm. She mumbled something about covering the shop because of unreliable staff. Either way, we had to go.

Sian dropped me at home, then drove Rosie to Daniel's before heading to her parent's farm.

I had all afternoon to kill before Alec arrived back in Hawkley, let alone ready to pick me up. I sent him a text asking if I could meet him at his house instead so we would see each other soon. A few seconds later, he sent a 'No! Stay put.' message in response.

I couldn't even waste time on my hair or on picking my outfit. Sian had already sorted that out before she had to rush off. She had found a gorgeous, sleeveless, ribbed grey dress that stopped mid-thigh in the first shop we looked around. She suggested I paired it with my denim jacket and my white converse.

I ate dinner with my parents, barely uttering two words while clock-watching.

My dress was laid out on my bed as I paced my bedroom in my underwear. Only an hour to go before he picked me up. He had sent a text to reassure me that he was home. I applied my make-up, keeping it very natural. Let's face it, it was all I was capable of doing without Sian or Rosie's help.

With twenty minutes to spare, I slipped into my dress, jacket and shoes and sat on our front doorstep to wait for Alec.

There he was. This felt like last Saturday when we went on our beach date, except this time, I didn't need to hold back. Sian was no longer in the dark about Alec and me, wanting to explore our new feelings towards each other.

I was eager to get to him; I was beside his car before he managed to switch the engine off. Climbing into the passenger side, I banged my head on the open door frame. All my nerves vanished as a sharp shooting pain through my skull replaced them. "Ouch!"

"Watch it, Nattie! That's hard. You okay?" Alec practically lay on top of me as he inspected the top of my head.

I winced as he touched the spot I had hit seconds ago. "No shit, Sherlock. I would've never guessed a car was hard. I thought it was made of marshmallows," I sarcastically bit back.

"I guess your brain isn't damaged then," he laughed and pulled out onto our street.

"Sorry, you know I get angry when I get hurt. I can't help it."

"I know." Alec tensed up, sat next to me. His arms went rigid as he clutched the steering wheel, and he bit the inside of his cheek. It was only now, as I looked him over, that I noticed how tired he appeared.

I placed my hand on his shoulder. "Are you okay, Alec?"

He glanced over with a half-smile on his face as his grip loosened slightly. "Mmm, yeah I'm okay. Do you mind if we go back to my house?"

"Anything as long as we're together."

***