16. Too good for me

Thursday night was the night for clubbing if you were young and free. Weekends were so overrated in the summer holidays. Sure that didn't stop us from partying our weekends away. You just had less chance of running into your recently single uncle -or your neighbour's brother's ex-girlfriend who was mutton dressed as lamb- if you went out on an evening that was followed by a working day.

Okay, so Sian was technically part of the working crowd and I was meant to be too when I finally got my life together. For one night only, we could pretend we had zero responsibilities and tomorrow didn't matter.

Sian arrived at my house after lunchtime and we spent the afternoon preening ourselves. Sian even bought some gel nail kit online, so we didn't need to leave the house.

At six pm, needing at least a good few hours to get ready, the three of us rushed up the stairs after we devoured the light dinner my mum made us.

Sian had emptied her bag full of clothes on to my floor, adding to the pile we had already dragged out from my cupboard and chest of drawers.

Rosie popped her head round my bedroom door after a couple of knocks. "Holy strawberries, Batman! What a mess!" She inched further into the room, her mouth agape. "How can you find anything in here?" Rosie thrust a bottle of Prosecco out from behind her back while nudging some of our clothes with her foot as she came closer. "Daniel just dropped this off. Want a glass?"

"Oh Rosie, you little beauty." Sian grabbed the bottle from her hands to open it.

"Mum will kill you. You're underaged. Don't let her catch you and don't get drunk before we even get there or they definitely won't let you in," I chided while glaring at Sian for encouraging her.

"Chill out. It's not like I've never had a drink and I'll be eighteen soon." Rosie crouched down to the pile of clothes, picking up a few pieces to scrutinise.

"Yeah chill out, Nat. She will just have a glass. Two at most. We can make her look older to get in. Trust me. It's not like you never did it." Sian bumped me with her hip to lighten the mood. "Rosie, get ready in here. Pre-party before the main event," she enthusiastically offered.

"Great, I'll grab my make-up and clothes. Oh, and some plastic cups I have in my drawer." She screwed her nose up as Sian took a swig directly from the bottle, then ran to her room.

With our clear, plastic cups filled with sparkling wine, we toasted to letting our hair down and partying like there was no tomorrow.

I stood in the middle of 'Fabric Mountain', in my black lace bra and an old pair of leggings, aimlessly picking up dresses and tops before discarding them to the side. "What on earth am I going to wear? I have no clothes."

"Er, that huge pile on the floor doesn't look like no clothes." Rosie applied mascara to her eyelashes, looking into my full-length, free-standing mirror. Her wavy blonde hair and barely-there make-up made her seem so innocent. The plunge neckline on her blush playsuit screamed otherwise. I wondered what Daniel would say when he saw her going out like that without him.

Sian scrambled around on the floor and pulled out a pair of wet-look black jeans and a black lace bodysuit. "Put these on. As the only single one, we'll be your wing women. Your new vixen title deserves an outfit to make mouths drop. Ditch the bra with the bodysuit," Sian bossed as she held the flimsy scrap of fabric against my skin.

"I'm not going out in that. It's see-through. Everyone will see my nipples," I whined, examining the lace detail on the top. "Plus, I can hardly call myself a vixen after just laying there while I let Max get on with it."

Ignoring my protests, Sian resumed getting herself dressed into a Champagne fitted top and a pair of black paper bag shorts, her hair in its usual tight blonde curls.

"You can't see your nipples. There's a built-in bra. You'll be fine," Sian chuckled. "Actually Nat, should you be drinking tonight? Did you make sure Max wrapped it before he tapped it? We don't want little babies around."

Rosie stopped applying her mascara and stared at us. Sian tried keeping a straight face but failed miserably.

"Don't let your affection give her an infection, put some protection on that erec-," Rosie deadpanned.

Great, now my best friend was influencing my sister.

"Stop it you two! Yes, we used a condom. Why can't you just use the right words?" I huffed as I snapped my bodysuit up. My jeans were so skin-tight, I needed to practically bounce into them to get them up. Luckily, Sian was correct, the top wasn't as revealing as I first feared.

"Pack it in plastic, it will be fantastic," Sian continued ignoring my comment. The girls, in fits of laughter, reeled off different sayings for using protection.

I started curling my hair with my barrel curler as I watched my best friend and my sister laughing. I couldn't help but smile at the scene before me. Who would have thought, a month ago, that my ice queen sister would be in my room getting ready to party with me? And laughing about sex and condoms, no less.

Sian convinced Rosie she needed to wear red lipstick in order to appear older. As she swiped the crimson shade against her lips, Rosie snorted, "protect that fish then dip it in the dish."

Sian howled with laughter and grabbed her crotch. "That's the worst one yet. I think I'm going to pee myself." She hurried out of the room, clenching her thighs.

I took Rosie's place at the mirror to apply my own make-up. Sian left instructions before she dashed out to go with a sultry smokey eye and bare lips which was easier said than done with my lack of cosmetic skills. Noticing my struggle, Rosie plucked the eyeshadow brush out of my hand.

In no time, my hazel eyes popped with the blends of onyx and bronze shades thanks to her magic touch.

"Thank you. I love it. And thank you for coming out tonight. It means more than you can imagine."

She tidied up the eyeshadow palettes, lipsticks and other essentials, avoiding my gaze. She shrugged her shoulders. "It's nothing," she mumbled in a barely audible voice. Like my parents, Rosie wasn't comfortable with emotions. I didn't mind, as I already felt like we had made so much progress in mending our relationship.

***

Daniel turned up at the house a little before nine-thirty pm in his parents' range rover. Relief washed over me, glad we didn't have to drive the thirty-minute trip in his clapped out death machine.

He held the back door of his car open for Sian and I to shuffle into, then raced over to the passenger side to let Rosie in. From our seats, I spied Daniel running his eyes up and down Rosie's body before letting her sit down. "You look gorgeous, baby." I heard him whisper in her ear before kissing the crook of her neck and closing her door. Rosie's face broke out into a contagious smile. I mirrored her expression, warmth filling my chest.

When we arrived in town, it was nearly ten pm. Daniel wished us a fun evening, promising to pick us up as soon as Rosie sent him a message.

A small crowd queued up outside Portsmouth's most favoured nightclub, trying to take advantage of the free entry before ten pm offer. The Club's neon lights bounced off the mass of bare skin lining up at the door.

We headed for the back of the line, praying Rosie wouldn't be asked for ID. As we neared the entrance, Rosie's face paled. "I shouldn't have come along. I'll just ruin your night out if they don't let me in," she worried, her voice weak.

"No, you won't. Sian always has a plan," I reassured her, threading my arm through hers.

Sian made a beeline for the bouncer as he asked for our IDs. Rosie and I watched in awe as the bubbly blonde worked her magic making the bouncer forget his question. He had probably forgotten his own name at this stage. Sian subtlety ushered us into the club, behind her as she flirted with her new friend

An array of blue, acid green and red lights glowed over the nightclub which was slowly filling up. Only a few people had braved the dance floor and soon, they would all fight for space, their hot sticky bodies pressed up against each other. The music loud, my skin tingled as the bass thumped in rhythm with my own heartbeat. It was like my own fix of adrenaline. I felt my body come alive, needing to sway to the beat.

"Smile girls." Sian held her phone up to take a selfie of the three of us and returned to typing furiously on the device. Either she was texting James or we had already made a feature on her Instagram and her Snapchat.

A clammy body sidled up to me, reeking of stale sweat and a heavy dose of cheap aftershave. The night was early, too early to be pushing unwarranted attention away.

"Can I buy you a drink?" The repugnant smell of beer hit me in the face as he slurred his words in my ear. An unpleasant chill ran down my spine.

I turned to glance at the man with no concept of personal space. He must have easily been in his mid to late thirties if not older, judging by the lines around his eyes and mouth. His five o'clock shadow was speckled with a few grey hairs.

"Sure, but only if you buy my boyfriend one too." I involuntarily scrunched my nose up at the sight of his white shirt, which was damp under his armpits. Gross.

"A girl dressed like that doesn't have a boyfriend," he sneered, his eyes lingering on my chest instead of my face.

Seeing red, I clenched my fists at my side to stop myself from swinging for him. "Excuse me? What's that supposed to mean? I can buy my own drink and dress how I like. I already have a dad. Don't need another one," I snapped through gritted teeth and spun on my heels to catch Sian and Rosie gaping at us.

Sian stifled a laugh and waved down the bartender to order our drinks.

"Stuck up bit-," my unwelcome admirer mumbled as he stalked back to a table full of rowdy men dressed in suits, their jackets discarded.

I grabbed the glass Sian slid in front of me, downed its contents and ordered another one.

"Woah, slow down there. Sip it this time." Rosie lowered my second vodka soda away from my lips and rubbed my back in soothing circles with her other hand.

My earlier anger slowly vanished as the girls and I spent the next hour dancing, having fun and people watching.

***

I nursed my drink, taking Rosie's advice on board. We attentively listened to Rosie tell us of the time Daniel took her ice skating and broke his wrist when I spotted a flash of red over her shoulder.

"You've got to be kidding me," I muttered as Hope sauntered across the dance floor. I had to admit she looked amazing in a vibrant red bodycon dress that accentuated every curve.

Sian furrowed her brow, waiting for an explanation to my comment. She embraced Hope as she joined us. Abigail wasn't far behind with Finn stuck to her hip. I scanned the room for Alec. He couldn't be far away if they were here.

"You took your time." So Sian had invited them. I thought we were on a girls' only night. Not that it had ever stopped Alec before. Where was he?

I pulled Sian away from the group to mutter in her ear, "What are they doing here? It's girls' night."

"What's your problem? They're our friends. I only invited the girls. I can't help it if Abby won't go anywhere without Finn," she sighed without waiting for an answer.

"And Hope without Alec," I said under my breath. Not wanting to wait around to see Hope fawning over Alec, I grabbed Rosie's hand to lead her to the dance floor.

We faced each other, swaying clumsily to the music as I resumed my search for Alec. I couldn't help myself.

Deflated, I focused on the atmosphere around me. Artificial smoke billowed from the ground. With my eyes closed, I let the vibrations from each note take over my soul until I was at one with the music.

I felt his breath on my neck before the touch of his hands, running down my arms. I kept my eyes shut in case he vanished when I opened them. I don't know how, but I knew it was him. My skin was on fire as his fingers left goosebumps in their wake.

His chest pressed against my back, his chin rested on my shoulder as he laced his arms around my waist and guided us from side to side.

My heart thumped louder than the song the DJ played. What if I was wrong and it wasn't Alec? What if it was "Mcsweaty" from earlier? He didn't smell like rancid beer or sweat. No, this person who was waking up my senses smelt like home, like my Alec.

I held him close for a few more minutes before opening my eyes again.

Rosie had disappeared, leaving Alec and I in our own bubble. Without hurry, I twisted round, placing my arms around his neck. He rested his forehead on mine. We were in a slow dance as the surrounding crowd bounced to the fast beat.

The warmth from our bodies grew more powerful by the second.

"Aren't you worried about Hope catching you like this?" I breathed, drawing him closer, my fingers lost in his thick brown hair.

"Why would I be worried about Hope?" His husky voice against my skin sent a shiver up my spine, causing the hairs on the back of my neck to stand up.

Lowering my head to rest on his chest, I plucked up enough courage to explain myself. "I know you two have something going on. I saw it."

"Nothing's happening with Hope," Alec said. Gradually inching his hands to the small of my back, he traced the lace detail with his fingers.

He wouldn't distract me. I needed to know before these lines blurred any further. "Why are you lying to me? I saw you two looking very cosy in your pool. And her bikini top was on your bathroom floor. It was all over her Instagram stories. The Sunday before you left for Finn's," I challenged, returning to stare into his emerald eyes. He didn't look guilty, simply apologetic for whatever I had seen.

"Trust me, nothing happened. I have no reason to lie to you. You know Hope loves taking photos of everything. We were never alone. Not like that." Alec hugged me to him once more, resting his head on mine.

"Tell me this then. If nothing is going on why would you hang up on me when I called?"

Alec stilled. "What are you on about? You never rang me so how could I hang up you?"

As realisation hit me, I pulled away from him.

"Where are you going?" Alec shouted after me, trying to keep in step.

I marched across the dance floor, straight for Hope, who stood at the bar chatting with our friends.

"You, me, toilets. Now," I hissed, ignoring Sian's shocked face. I grabbed Hope's arm, leaving her no choice but to follow. Rage poisoned my veins, each step heavier as I dragged her away.

The line for an unoccupied cubicle was too long, and I didn't fancy to have this conversation in such a public setting.

The girls' washroom was a sight in itself. It was heaving. A group of friends huddled in the corner, near the hand dryers, consoling a girl. Said girl had either drank too much or was going through a break-up. I couldn't tell.

"Pretend you're about to throw up," I muttered in Hope's ear while I gathered her copper locks in my fist, playing my part as the caring friend.

Hope doubled over and retched, bringing her hands to her mouth.

"Out the way. Can't you see my friend's going to be sick? Dodgy dinner before she came out."

The girls queuing moved flat against the wall of sinks and motioned us to the front. As soon as the first toilet opened, we rushed in, slamming the door behind us. This trick worked every time.

Hope crossed her arms over her chest, her face unreadable.

"What are you playing at?" I mirrored her stance, but my heart raced.

"I don't know what you mean," she sneered, never dropping her stare.

The noise outside covered our voices, not that I thought any of the others had followed us in.

"Your photos with Alec on Sunday? You wanted me to see them. Why else post them? What have I ever done to you? Was it you who turned his phone off when I tried to call?"

Hope's poker face cracked. She ran her hands through her long hair, looking at the floor. "Can I pee while we're here? I'm bursting and that queue's too long to join again."

I faced the closed door. "Why Hope? Why Alec?" My voice weak, I waited for her explanation.

She tugged at her dress as I turned back to her, the flush of the toilet echoing in the small space. Her lips weren't tight and she didn't seem as closed off. She let out an audible sigh before speaking, "I admit it, it was stupid. I wanted you to get jealous. I don't want Alec. But I was sick of seeing you both deny what everyone else can see. He's crazy about you. Always has been and you are too. If you felt threatened, I thought you would start fighting for him. Who better to be the villain than your fiery friend?" She chuckled at her last statement.

"You're nuts." I wrapped my arms around myself and looked away. "We're just friends."

"Bullshit! Stop with the just friends comment. You two need your heads banged together," she groaned, glancing up at the ceiling. "I'm done playing matchmaker. Sort it out between you two. These last few weeks have only given me a migraine. Now if you don't mind, I'm going back out there to finally dance with a hot stranger."

Hope swung the door open and left me standing there, on my own. She had been manipulating me into thinking she was with Alec. That they were sleeping together. I felt like a fool.

I went home with Max that night to forget about Alec and Hope. What had I done? All because of Hope. I banged my first against the cubicle door. It was all because of me and my toxic relationships.

I checked my make-up while I washed my hands. My eyeliner smudged because of the heat from dancing, I wiped under each eye with my index finger and combed my hair out with my fingers.

Alec was leaning against the wall near the girls' toilets, fidgeting with his watch as I strolled out. "You okay?" He straightened up to stand in front of me, grabbing both my hands in his. His gaze intense as he watched me.

I nodded. "Yeah, a silly misunderstanding. We'll get over it."

I took in a deep breath. We stood there in silence, occasionally being pushed to the side by someone who was leaving or entering the washrooms. It wasn't the ideal place to get lost in his embrace, but I didn't care.

"Do you want to leave? I drove." He drew his lower lip between his teeth as he cocked his head to the side.

I couldn't avert my eyes as I thought of my conversation with Hope. Alec was crazy about me. How had I not seen it before?

Sian and I promised each other we wouldn't keep any more secrets. I needed to speak to her before I explored any feelings I had for Alec.

"I'm not ready to go just yet. Can we dance a bit more?"

Alec's mouth curved into a smile as he spun me round to nestle into his side. "Of course."

***