Chapter 2

Kazzi Kovers was a walking, breathing contradiction.

It was troublesome for the people around her, moreover, troublesome for herself. She finds herself in these undesirable conditions, and wonders why, as if it isn't a direct consequence of her own actions. As such, she finds herself seated in class on a Wednesday morning, eyes glued to her phone as if the very reason for her spiraling isn't seated two seats away from her.

Paige Bueckers. Kazzi's favorite guilty pleasure, a thing that wouldn't be guilty if not for her loud mouth and penchant for self sabotage. It was embarrassing, spending months denying her attraction to the blonde before finally succumbing. As a result, she needed an outlet for her bottled feelings, and twitter had seemed the most reasonable choice, it was feral anyway. Kazzi posted, and posted, and posted, the more she tweeted, the more comfortable she got exposing her innermost desires.

Unfortunately, the months Kazzi spent denying her attraction (she swore she was straight) were not silent, spending every opportunity to openly antagonize the basketball player. The latter had been mostly confused at first, before taking it into stride and butting heads with Kazzi at every turn. Now that Kazzi realized the fire in her gut whenever Paige so much as looked at her was in fact not anger, but rather some sick form of lust, it was too late to revert back to the "nice to meet you, my name is Kazzi" stage.

It was stupid, but Kazzi had accepted her fate with amazing grace, opting to admire the UConn star behind a screen. She built a barrier between the deepest parts of her conscience, and now that Paige had discovered her twitter page, it felt like Kazzi's insides were being laid bare for her to analyze and decipher. Absolutely disgusting.

Kazzi chewed her bottom lip, wondering for the fifth time whether her @ is too obvious and whether she needs to change it. It contains the words "K" and "Azz", which is far too revealing if you ask Kazzi. Did Paige know? She would simply shrivel up and die, if that was the case. Just the thought of Paige finding out had Kazzi nauseous. Speaking of which, she could feel a familiar stare burn into the side of her face. "What is it, Bueckers?"

"You look sick."

Kazzi didn't fight the eyeroll. She levelled Paige with a flat look, trying to calm the harsh rhythm of her heartbeat at just hearing the blonde's voice. "What? Why do you care?"

The latter shrugged, a familiar teasing smirk stretching across her lips. She leaned back, eyes trained on the white-knuckled grip Kazzi had on her phone. "I don't. Just curious as to why you look like you're about to throw up your breakfast looking at your phone. Did your boyfriend cheat on you?"

"I don't have a boyfriend." Kazzi grit out, stomach twisting at the thought. Damn, how could she have ever argued that she was straight? the very thought of being with a man made her violently ill.

"For a reason." The other muttered, and Kazzi glared at the smug expression adorned on her face. She never noticed when the other had stopped looking confused and started returning her barbed remarks, but she wasn't exactly complaining. It helped cover her raging attraction. Plus, Paige being mean was hot.

"I don't recall you having a boyfriend either."

"That's cause I swing the other way, sweetheart."

Kazzi's eyes widened, attempting and failing to school her facial muscles. She had her suspicions, sure, and people loved to talk, but to hear it so blatantly from her had a whole new effect on Kazzi's brain. Paige noticed the sudden silence, and narrowed her eyes, "Don't go all homophobic on me, Kaz, I'll rock your shit."

Her words jerked Kazzi out of her reverie, and she scoffed, "Shut it, I'm not. I was going to say you don't have a girlfriend either, so your point is not pointing."

"Maybe I'm waiting on someone."

Kazzi ignored the way her heart fell into her stomach, swallowing with difficulty. Of course the longest conversation she's ever had with Paige since the start of the semester would literally break her heart. Curse the universe for landing her in this predicament, she would like a refund for her feelings, please. "Oh? Someone doesn't want the Paige Bueckers?"

Paige clicked her pen repeatedly, looking off into the distance, "Yeah, someone."

"Wow, even you know the sorrows of common peasants," Kazzi said dryly, "And stop clicking your fucking pen, it's annoying."

Paige paused, looking directly into Kazzi's eyes before slowly clicking her pen again. Kazzi groaned, body twisting to turn away from her gay awakening and effectively ending the conversation. Her friend raised an eyebrow from beside her, and Kazzi dutifully ignored him in favor of pretending to listen to the professor.

"What do you have against Paige anyway? I've spoken to her before and she's super chill."

Kazzi hated this question for a multitude of reasons. One, because it was definitely not anyone's business why she's beefing with UConn's star. Two, because everyone always takes Paige's side. And lastly, because Kazzi had no idea how to answer this question. How do you tell someone that you had started being rude because you were panicking and closeted? Thus creating a relationship where insults and apathy had become the norm? You can't say this without melting into a puddle of embarrassment.

"None of your business," is what came out of her mouth.

Conner clicked his tongue, looking mildly impressed as he commented, "Actually, I'm more surprised that you managed to get Paige to hate you. I mean, she's way too kind for her own good. What'd you even do to her?"

Kazzi scowled, speeding up her walking pace as if she could just walk out of the conversation. Conner easily caught up, and Kazzi mentally flipped off his long legs. "C'mon, Kaz. I don't know what happened between the two of you, but I seriously think you guys could be good friends. Contrary to popular belief, you're not a complete asshole."

"Gee, thanks," Kazzi muttered, eyes threatening to roll to the back of her head.

"I'm just saying, all this negativity can't be good for your mental health."

"Oh? When did you become a mental health expert?"

Conner shot her a flat look, and Kazzi hated the way a part of her shriveled up a bit at the other's judgment. She never cared about stranger's opinions, but when it came to people she treasured, she chased their validation with a fervent need. "Since, you started brooding the entire lesson after arguing with Paige."

"Touche," Kazzi winced, "Just leave it be, Conner. It's just how we are, no use changing it now."

"So you admit if you had a chance to change it, you would?"

"I never said that."

"Oh my god, you are so deep in denial."

Kazzi bit her tongue. If only he knew the absolute filth she posted on her twitter. She was actually so self-aware that she constantly walked around knee-deep in shame.

"Leave it, Conner."

He sighed, throwing his hands up in defeat, "Fine. Suit yourself."

Kazzi shook her head lightly, rounding a corner towards the exit of the building. A shout caused her eyes to flicker upwards, and a smile spread across her face at Bea bounding towards her.

"Kaz!"

"Hey, Bea."

The other grinned, bouncing on her toes as she excitedly questioned, "You still down for Julie's party?"

Kazzi didn't fight the smile stretching across her lips at Bea's enthusiasm. Everything about Bea was contagious.

Conner pursed his lips, "Wait, when is this?"

"Did you even read the groupchat?"

"No."

Bea sighed, "Tomorrow night. Her place."

A beat passed as both Kazzi and Conner pondered this. Kazzi had already invited Lili to watch a movie, but she could always call for a raincheck. Julie's parties were to die for.

"Sure," Kazzi concluded as Bea jumped for joy, Conner eventually reaching the same conclusion. Bea clasped Kazzi's hands in hers, eyes sparkling as she exclaimed, "It's gonna be so fun!"

Kazzi softened, "Of course, Bea."

Her attention was then abruptly stolen by a laugh that Kazzi could recognise anywhere, and her eyes immediately latched onto a laughing Paige not even ten feet away from her. She was positively glowing, eyes bright and smile wide as she conversed with a short brunette that seemed to be fangirling over her. Kazzi felt a spike of jealousy at the scene, trying to tamp down the rising urge to stomp over and tear Paige away from the exchange.

Kazzi looked away.