30. Rising anxiety
Big girls don't cry
Aleidaâs POV
âSo, would you like to explain?â Kian asks.
âNot really, no.â
âWhy wonât you talk to us!?â
âBecause you donât understand! You never listen to what I say; you all just say that itâs going to be better without even knowing why Iâm hurting in the first place! You have no right to either judge me or say that you understand me when you know fucking nothing about me or my life!â I scream at Kian; he looks taken aback by my answer, and he is now looking apologetic. âDonât even start to apologize. Iâm sick and tired of people apologizing, saying that they donât know. Thatâs because I donât tell you; I donât want others to judge me. I donât want people to look at me with sympathy or some other shit. Iâm me, and if that isnât enough for you, then all of you can fucking go to hell! See if I care.â
I storm out of the room and run towards the forest. Without caring for my clothes, I shift, and my attire is now lying on the ground, in shreds. My paws are pounding on the damp ground. The only thing that circulates inside my head is that I have to get somewhere where I can be alone for a while, which doesnât seem to take long. I hear others behind me; I guess itâs Kian and Miliano. Right now, I donât care. With all the muscles I have, I increase the pace and run faster than ever before. I donât slow down until I reach a clearing full of wildflowers and tall grass with a nearby stream. I lay down under the tree with the head on my paws and wait for my mates to appear to continue scolding me. Miliano is the first one to appear. He slowly paws up to me, and when I donât react, he lays down next to me with his head on my back. He licks behind the ear and breathes out in satisfaction. Not long after that, Kianâs black wolf walks up to me and gently nuzzles his head towards mine. Like with Miliano, I donât react, allowing him to lie down on my other side, with his head right next to mine. He licks me in the face with his tongue; itâs the ultimate gesture of intimacy. He shows my wolf and me that he loves us. I give him a little lick back on his snout to show that Iâm not mad before putting my head back on my paws. We lie there all three together and enjoy nature around us, like in eternal bliss. That doesnât last for long, however. A threatful growl comes from behind us, and I immediately stand up in front of my mates to protect them from danger. The wolf before me is big but not bigger than me; the smell of rot and decay surrounds the air-this is a rogue. It shows its teeth against us and growls uncontrollably. I growl back and step towards him; he immediately sits down like a little dog with his head down in submission. Miliano and Kian guard the young wolf while I walk behind a tree and shift. I put on the long T-shirt that one of my boys had with them before walking back to the wolf. I stand in front of him with my arms crossed and give him a stern look.
âShift,â I say, calm but stern voice; he glares at me, which annoys meâI breathe in deeply before I use my alpha voice. âShift!â
He shifts in seconds before me.
âHow-how did you do that?â the rogue asks.
âYou have no right to question anything I do, especially when youâre in my territory. Now, who are you?â
âI donât have to answer to some girl,â he snorts at me; with a sugary smile, I turn to my mates.
âBabies, go and shift; Iâll be fine,â I say, and they both give me wolfie smiles before walking away. âI give you one more chance before Iâm going to get angry. Answer my damn question.â
âMake me,â he says mockingly.
âThatâs it!â I roar, and in a nanosecond, I take a grip around his throat and push him up against a tree; the look in his eyes is incredible. âIâm sick and tired about people like you challenging my authority around my own goddamn land. Youâre nothing but a boy who knows nothing about who I am or what I can do. Please answer my question or prepare to die. I can snap your neck like a twig.â
âI would answer her if I were you,â Kian says behind me.
âWhy would I answer this mutt?â the rogue asks, and my mates growl at him.
âDonât you dare to disrespect the queen!â Miliano roars.
âTh-the queen?â
âThatâs right, love, Iâm the werewolf queen, and Iâm tired of your games. Answer my god damn question, or I will make you answer it!â
âMi-Michael.â
âOkay, Michael, are you going to be a good boy and behave, or do I have to hurt you further?â
He shakes his head âno,â and I release my grip. He falls to the ground, coughing and wheezing for air. I walk around him in circles.
âNow, Michael, what are you doing in my territory?â
âThis isnât your territory; it belongs to alpha Miliano and alpha Kian,â he spits out in anger, and I chuckle at him.
âYeah, and Iâm their luna,â I answer, his eyes open wide, and his mouth forms an âoâ. âThatâs right. Do you want a repeat of what happened a moment ago?â
âN-no, maâam.â
âThatâs what I thought. What are you doing here?â
âI was sent here.â
âBy who?â
âAlpha Jonathan of the Rose Moon pack,â he answers; I stop walking and look at him.
âWhy did he send you?â
âHe told me that the alphas had taken what was his and wanted me to return you,â the rogue answers, which makes my mates growl at the bare thought about someone taking me away from them.
âDonât you dare even to try to take our mate from us!â Miliano yells.
âIâm sorry, alpha, I just follow orders,â Michael whimpers.
âMichael, youâre just a kid. You canât be more than a teen,â I point out to him.
âSo what? Iâm still strong and can take care of myself.â
âOf that, I have no doubt. But it would be best if you didnât do Jonathanâs bidding like some errand boy. Youâre better than that.â
âI-I am?â he asks, insecure, and I smile gently at him.
âYes, you are. Youâre worth something to other people, your family, and your friends. Itâs not worth it to end your life early by doing something this foolish. Come on, Michael, do you really think you can walk into our territory without being killed? You should be happy that it was us who found you and not the warriors.â
âIâm sorry, luna or alpha?â he asks, and I laugh at him.
âI donât even know myself. But I want to help you, for your family.â
âI donât have a family.â
âYour friends then.â
âI donât have any fucking friends!â he screams, clearly angry.
âWatch your tone with the queen!â Kian roars back at him.
âItâs okay, heâs upset, and thatâs all right,â I say to Kian and kiss his cheek before I turn to Michael again. âI care about you, Michael, and I want to help you.â
âBut why?â
âBecause once upon a time, I was just like you. Alone and broken down into millions of pieces. No one cared if I lived or died. I lost my family when I was only a few years old, and I had no friends; I was Jonathan and the rest of the packâs slave. Nothing more and nothing less. I donât want to see anyone else treated that way again,â I hear the sorrow in my own voice and the tears burn in my eyes.
âHe promised me to become part of his pack if I did this...â
âNo, Michael, just no. Heâs going to treat you the exact same way he treated me, if not worse. Jonathan will make you feel that you owe him for letting you in the pack. Youâre going to stay with us and show your loyalty. If you do good, I personally will allow you a place in our pack. I promise you this.â
âCan you do that? Itâs not your pack and...â
âShe can, and she will. Aleidaâs our luna, our queen, but above all, our mate. If this makes her happy, then so be it,â Kian answers with a smile on his face.
âYou will come to live with us, and we donât want anything in return except your loyalty towards both the pack and us. Donât ever feel like you owe us anything, okay?â I say.
âOkay,â he answers, and now heâs smiling, that makes me happy; we begin walking before Michael stops us, looking down, embarrassed. âSo, um... Can we maybe go there in wolf form? I donât really have any clothes...â
âOf course, follow us.â
We all shift to our wolves and run through the forest with ease. I walk inside the house first and put on some clothes after I transform; I open the door for them to walk in. Michael looks around in awe of our home.
âThis isnât our packhouse, but our private home. I hope that youâll respect the rules we have set here like you would in the packhouse?â I ask him, and he nods. âGood. First things first, you need to shower and put on some clothes. Kian and Miliano will show you to the shower while I make us all something to eat. How does that sound?â
He barks like a dog, and that makes me laugh. I rub him behind his ear before I walk into the kitchen to start cooking. After a quick look in both the pantry and the fridge, I decide to make meat stew. Before I begin, I start the stereo and connect my phone with Bluetooth. The song âCastleâ with Halsey comes out of the speakers at a high volume while I cut the meat and put it into a hot frying pan. The pot with water is ready in no time, and I pour rice into it before putting it back on the stove. I stand and cut onions when I feel someone standing behind me. By pure instinct, I turn around and throw the knife that hits Milianoâs shirt. The blade penetrates the sweater and the wall; heâs stuck.
âOops, sorry, baby,â I say when I walk up to him and tug the knife out of the wall while kissing his forehead.
Kian laughs at Milianoâs face, and Michael looks terrified.
âWhat have I told you about walking into the kitchen unannounced when Iâm using knives!?â I scold Miliano.
âSorry, baby girl...â he says with shame.
âDamn, youâre one dangerous she-wolf,â Michael says, astonished.
âI can say with a clean conscience that sheâs the strongest and most dangerous wolf in the whole pack,â Kian points out.
âBut, how? Youâre not much older than me!â Michael exclaims.
âIâve been training since I was two years old,â I answer without looking away when I cut the onions.
âWow! You began four years before an alphaâs child does; your dad must be so proud of who you are,â Michael says, and I stop the cutting, my smile disappears.
âYeah, I guess he was...â
âIâm sorry if I made you uncomfortable, luna.â
âItâs okay; Iâm just not used to talk about him,â I answer with a sad smile.
âWhat was he like?â
âHonestly? Iâm not sure. I was very young when he and my mom died. Iâve heard stories about how they were as alpha and luna. I donât remember much more than what others have told me and the training sessions with my dad.â
âWasnât it hard to be trained at such a young age? Not even male alphas begin the training at that age.â
âYeah... It was really hard. every time I hurt myself, he always told me that big girls donât cry. Thatâs what Iâve been working on not doing my whole life. Not even once since they died have I cried because of pain. He trained me so I could be able to fight my way through the werewolf society and claim my place.â
âAnd what place is that?â
âIâm the rightful heir of the Rose Moon pack.â
âThat-that means that...â
âThat Iâm the child of alpha Romeo and luna Clara Mendez, yes. I have 100 percent alpha blood in my veins, and apparently, itâs also royal blood.â
âAre you going to claim whatâs yours then?â Michael asks with interest.
âOh, I promise you, darling, itâs just a matter of time. Iâll claim whatâs mine until my last breath.â
âAnd I will stand by your side,â Michael says, and I smile at his bravery.
âThank you, Michael. Now, boys, Iâve cooked dinner. Who will set the table, and who will do the dishes?â
âI can do the dishes,â Michael says without hesitating.
âThatâs good then. Iâll go upstairs to change, help yourselves. Iâll be back in a moment,â I say before pointing at my mates. âAnd you two, no bickering, I mean it.â
âYes, baby,â they say in unison after looking at each other.
âGood boys,â I coo at them.
I give them a million-dollar smile before walking to my bedroom to change. It doesnât take long to change my clothes and walk down again. I hear the three males in the kitchen moan loudly. What the hell!?
âWhat the fuck are you doing? It sounds like all of you are having sex in here.â
They all stop eating and look up at me. The three men in front of me have food all over their faces.
âUh... Itâs good?â Michael says hesitantly, but it sounds more like a question; I burst out laughing.
âUse your fork, boys.â
âYes, maâam.â
Such good boys I have. I just hope I donât make a mistake by letting Michael into our lives.