12. Unexpected arousal
Big girls don't cry
Aleidaâs POV
I canât believe it! My wolf is inside me; she exists; she is mine! I jump up and down over the new feeling of togetherness. My joy spreads throughout the room while my brothers, Killian and Miliano, are smiling big at me. They understand how big this is for me since they all probably met their wolves when they turned sixteen, as most others do. My happiness spreads even more, when I hear Lisa inside our shared mind.
Itâs great to be able to talk to you; finally, Aleida, Iâve been waiting for the wall you set up between us to fall.
Did I set up a wall between us? Oh, moon goddess, Iâm sorry!
Itâs okay, sweetheart. Iâm here now, and Iâm a part of you. Thereâs something I need to talk to you about.
What is it?
You have to let go.
Let go of what?
The walls you have up there blocked your feelings and anyone trying to get close to you. Itâs not the best way to handle it. It would be best to process all the pain, sadness, and betrayal you have experienced during your short life. Otherwise, it will eat you from the inside... and stop yelling at our mate!
Iâm hanging down my head. I can hear someone say, âit looks like sheâs getting scolded by her wolf.â
I didnât yell at him...
Well, you have, and you are very well aware of that too. You donât have to be strong all the time; mate wants to help you, let him do it. Heâs happy when you are happy; even if he hasnât left his mark on you yet, he can still feel your emotions from time to time. You have been begging and praying to the moon goddess all your life that she will send someone who wants to help you. Now you have him in front of you, and you deny him that.
âI donât know how to talk about it ...â I say out loud to her.
I know itâs hard, but if you donât tell him about the darkness inside you, youâll perish. No one can make it all alone in this world unharmed. You have had to fight for your survival all your life, but you have also forgotten to live during that time. Promise that you live your life the way you want to live; you have neglected yourself and your joy long enough.
âThank you,â I say out loud with a smile before she turns off the link.
When the fog disappears from my eyes, I can see my new family sitting in front of me, looking at me with joy.
âWelcome back, luna,â Killian says.
âDid you get scolded?â Nathan asks, laughing.
I stick my tongue out to him, and both of my brothers laugh at me. I sit back in Milianoâs lap and relax in his arms immediately.
âSo, was it a friendly chat with your wolf?â Miliano asks.
âYes, it opened my eyes a little.â
âWhatâs her name?â
âLisa.â
âHmm...â he says, and I can feel the vibrations in his chest.
âWhat?â I ask.
âNothing, that just explains why Ryan has said the name âLisaâ since we found you. He has repeatedly said that we have to get Lisa out, but he ignored the question every time I asked him about it. So why did she yell at you?â
âBecause I didnât tell you about my dark thoughts.â
I feel him stiffen, and every personâs gaze in the room lands on me.
âWhat dark thoughts?â
âIâm not ready to talk about it yet; give me some time, and I promise I will tell you everything,â I answer and give him a weak smile.
He looks worried but doesnât say anything about it. Instead, he hugs me closer, puts his head at my neck, and nuzzles to draw my scent into his nose. Itâs quiet for a long time after that, but thereâs not an uncomfortable silence. We all sit with our thoughts that rotate in our minds.
âSo... Luna?â Nathan asks with a smile.
âIâm not a luna; Iâm an omega,â I answer shamefully.
âYouâre not an omega, youâre an alpha, and you know it! So, therefore, the Rose moon pack belongs to you,â Jason exclaims in an outrageous voice.
âNo, Iâm not the firstborn; Nathan is the righteous descendant of the alpha position,â I answer and they both shake their heads. âWhat?â
âWe arenât descendants of your mother. Iâm an alpha, but Jason is a gamma. We have different ranks because Jason has taken after our mother more, and I got more DNA from our common father. Itâs also clearly noticeable that you took after dad the most, but we can see traces of your mother in you,â Jason answers, and I wipe away a tear that falls when he begins talking about my mother; I miss her terribly.
âSince Clara also was an alpha, you have a hundred percent alpha blood in your veins. Itâs very unusual for two alphas to have a true mate that has the same rank. Iâve never actually heard of it before. It rarely becomes two alphaâs who match partners because it grows an infinite force, and that power can even cause another alpha to bow to the one who possesses the power. An alpha isnât affected by an order from another werewolf at all; we donât like to take orders additionally. But since that power is so dominant, it can have every creature within a mile radius bow at their feet,â Nathan explains, and they all glance at me with open mouths.
âWhat does this have to do with me?â
âYou are the strongest werewolf living right now; you just havenât achieved your full potential yet,â he answers with a shrug, and the shock is overriding me.
What!? This canât be right.â¦
âI havenât even shifted yet; you have confused me with someone else,â I answer shamefully and look down at my hands.
âThereâs a difference between shifting and turning, dear Aleida,â he says, and I look up at him. âYou shifted to mature werewolf age far too early, and that made your wolf not able to catch up. You ran away from your wolf, who has been looking for you ever since.â
âHow do you know these things?â I ask perplexity and donât know what to think, feel or do at the moment.
âI have studied the history of werewolves and a lot of other creatures. Itâs a hobby nowadays; I donât have the time to do it as much anymore, considering I have a pack to attend to.â
âWait here now... How can you be the alpha if dad didnât rule that pack?â
âOur mother was the luna. Her mate died a few weeks after she got the title. Our dad was her second chance mate.â
Now I understand, I think. All this is so new to me that my brain is spinning with all the latest information. The dizziness spreads in my tired body.
âAre you okay, honey?â Miliano asks gently and strokes my hair while I close my eyes, trying to calm my head down.
âI donât know; Iâm dizzy,â I answer, and he sighs.
âAgain?â he asks softly.
âI donât understand why it continues to appear like this,â I say with a weak voice.
âItâs not very weird, baby girl; you had someone else in your body that forced you to experience all the evil youâve been through over and over again. Weâre just going to be glad you didnât disappear from us. We need you.â
âNo one needs me...â I whisper; Miliano lifts my face for me to look him into the eyes.
âNever say that no one needs you, Aleida. Your brothers need their little sister theyâve been looking for for years; Killian needs his Luna for our pack and me. I need my mate with me. I was looking for you for so long that I donât know how to carry on every day without you being with me. Now that Iâve met you and seen what a beautiful and amazing personality you have, I know Iâll never be able to live without you again.â
His words touch my soul; I put my hand on his cheek and look into his eyes. He backs away a little, all of a sudden.
âWhat is it? Did I do something wrong?â I ask, terrified that I may have hurt him.
âYour eyes, they are glowing.â
âWhat?â
âWhen you put your hand against my cheek, I could feel a force that took away all the dark thoughts within me, and your eyes were glowing all the time.â
âWâwhat does that mean?â
âThat means youâve healed him,â Nathan says suddenly, looking at me with great curiosity.
âWhat? I canât heal anyone.â
âItâs pretty apparent that you can; we all experienced and saw it just now even if you didnât notice it yourself.â
âHow-how did it feel?â I ask Miliano, and heâs smiling.
âIt was as if a big stone fell from my chest. After that, I feel lighter, happier, and safe within myself.â
His words bring joy to blossom within me. It makes me happy to help him when he needs me, even if itâs just about a worldly thing like this. I curl up further and nearer to him. Then, before I know it, I begin to slumber.
When I wake up, itâs dark in the room, which confuses me. What am I doing in here, and why is it dark? Iâm about to sit up when I feel a spark in my wrist. I turn my head and let my eyes get used to the darkness before seeing those facial features that I recognize anywhere.
âGood evening, my luna,â he says.
âHow did I get here? What happened?â I ask, to which he laughs.
âYou fell asleep in my arms down in the living room. All the new information, together with the conversation you had with your wolf, made you completely exhausted. So we concluded that it would be best to let you rest for a couple of hours, and now weâre here.â
âA few hours? Iâve been sleeping all day.â
âEven a future luna needs to sleep occasionally.â
We lie there in each otherâs arms in silence for a good time. My head lays on his shapely and trained bare chest. Itâs only now that I realize how fit and sexy my mate is. I wonder how it would feel to touch him. Pulling my tongue down over his belly toward his-.
Our mate is hot, I know.
What the-!? Did you spy on my thoughts again?
Okay, first of all, we share this mind. Secondly, we belong together, and thirdly, my mate is inside him. Theyâre ours.
True, trueâ¦
So ... are you going to try to get yourself something? I can give you tips! If you start byâ¦
I break the link between us and mentally laugh at how grumpy she probably is from me doing that.
âWhat are you thinking of, little one?â his sudden voice makes me shudder all over my body.
âMy wolf and I had a discussion,â I answer, and he turns toward me.
âReally? What was it about?â he challenges, grinning.
âYou,â I answer briefly and correctly while he laughs low.
âWhat did she want?â
âShe thought I should...â I interrupt myself before I have time to embarrass myself further.
âThat you should, what?â
Iâm ashamed both on the inside and outside right now. If I know my body exactly, my cheeks are guaranteed to be tomato red right now.
âNothing,â I answer quietly, and he continues to laugh.
âYouâre cute when youâre embarrassed.â
His statement makes me even redder, I didnât even think it was a physical opportunity, but here I am!
âIâm still tired,â I say to change the subject, and it isnât a lie; even though I have slept, it felt like I have been running a marathon.
âThen we sleep, we should regardless; after all, itâs in the middle of the night.â
He settles behind me and holds my back to his body. Spooning with this man, my mate, gives me for the first time in a long time that security Iâve always dreamt of but never thought Iâd get.
âWhat are you doing awake anyway?â I mumble to him.
âI came in here not too long ago; I couldnât help but look at you,â he answers, and after that, weâre quiet for a minute before he continues. âI think I know what you and your wolf were talking about.â
âI donât know what youâre talking about,â I say and freeze unintentionally.
âI think you do; Ryan has had a fascinating conversation with Lisa,â Miliano says, and my eyes open quickly; I donât move a muscle; I even hold my breath.
âWe think youâre sexy too,â he purrs in my ear; again, I shudder and feel how my lower regions moisten.
âGood night, my darling,â he says, and shortly after that, I relax.
âItâs time to get up now, Aleida,â someone says and pushes me a little carefully.
With a groan, I open my eyes and look into the eyes of my man, my mate. Heâs already dressed and newly showered.
âGo shower with you; we have things to do today!â he chirps.
When I get up and walk into the bathroom, he snakes his hand around my waist and holds me close.
âDonât think that I didnât notice your arousal yesterday, little mate, all in its own time.â
With that, he opens the door, gives me a wink, and walks out. Iâm still standing by the bathroom door and feel my wetness pouring down my legs. Shit, Iâm in trouble...