Chapter Fourteen

When Esther entered the hotel room, AnnMarie was awake. She was sitting upright in the bed, under the dim glow of the bedside lamp, reading a book. It looked like it might be a romance novel of some kind, judging by the cover.

Esther's skin felt even warmer when she looked at her.

"Oh… you're awake." Esther said.

AnnMarie blushed the slightest bit, and a sheepish look crept across her face.

"I… I had a nightmare and I couldn't sleep." She said. "You were gone when I woke up, so I decided to read for a little while to help me calm down."

"Sorry." Esther said, feeling somewhat embarrassed as she thought of the woman at the bar. "I had to go get some… dinner."

Esther walked over to the bed and climbed under the covers beside her. It was almost as warm underneath them as she felt in the pit of her stomach.

"I could tell you were hungry." AnnMarie said. "I just figured you would... you know… since I was here..."

"No. Not without your permission." Esther rushed to say. She was slightly upset that AnnMarie thought she would break her promise to her, but she quickly shook it off.

AnnMarie rolled onto her side and pressed her face into Esther’s arm.

"Hmm." AnnMarie said. "Do you think you could help me fall asleep?"

Esther rolled to face her, looking at her wide, green eyes that blinked in the darkness. Her eyes fell and focused on her lips, and then fell a little lower to her collar bones, and finally down to where she could see the subtle outline of her nipples through her shirt.

The frustration, the need for satisfaction, seemed so strong now. It was impossible to ignore. It was all consuming, burning up her skin and blazing in her chest.

Her hand twitched at her side, and she brought it up to stroke AnnMarie's warm cheek.

AnnMarie blinked at her.

"...Esther?"

Something in her snapped, and she suddenly lunged forward, kissing her roughly. A noise of surprise slipped from AnnMarie’s lips, but Esther took no notice. She kissed her harder, deeper, pressing their mouths together like AnnMarie was the only thing keeping her alive.

She pushed her tongue into her mouth, and it was hot. It was so achingly, painfully hot.

Esther grabbed her by her shoulders and rolled back, flipping them so that AnnMarie was underneath her, breathing heavily, her small mouth open in surprise.

When a second passed without her saying anything, Esther kissed her again. And again. And again. Her hands dug into her shoulders harder as she slid down against her leg, trailing her lips away from her mouth, down her jaw, and across the gentle curve of her neck. The heat from AnnMarie’s body seeped into her skin delightfully.

She removed a hand from her shoulder, and slipped it underneath her shirt. She took her breast in her hand, and roughly grasped it, using every bit of her willpower to keep from biting into the side of her neck that wasn't bandaged.

AnnMarie immediately tensed and whimpered beneath her.

"Esther! Wait—" She cried out.

Esther drew her hand away and pulled herself upright.

The fog in her mind cleared and she realized she was breathing heavily; something she had no need to do.

"Sorry—" AnnMarie said, wriggling underneath her. "I— I'm just tired right now, and I don't think… I don't think I'm ready for this sort of thing right now…"

A wave of mortification washed over Esther.

"Fuck. Oh my god."

She rolled off of the woman, and off of the bed.

She ran a hand over her face and sighed, running ways through her head that she could fix the situation she had put herself in.

Nothing came to mind.

She felt disgusted, an emotion her body came up with all on her own, no blood required. It made her feel even sicker than the reeling in her head did.

There was something that felt so sleazy about using the lust from the woman she had fed on to come home and try to feel up AnnMarie.

She didn't care what Adam said. It felt weird.

I don't know why I thought it would be any different with her..  it's just like… it's like…

"Esther. It's okay." AnnaMarie said from the bed. "I'm not upset."

You should be. Esther thought, though she didn't voice it. She simply shook her head in silence.

"No, I'm sorry." Esther said. "I don't know what I was thinking."

I don't know why I would expect her to want me to stumble back to her in the middle of the night and rub all over her. She wouldn't want to sleep with me anyway. I'm dead. It's terrible that I even expected it of her.

AnnMarie made a small noise, almost something like a whimper, and Esther felt her chest tighten even more.

Esther let out the air she had been holding in her lungs for some time, and ran her hand through her hair.

"Do you still want me to help you fall asleep?" She asked quietly.

"If you don't mind." AnnMarie said. Her voice was small, wavering.

Esther gingerly walked over and got back under the covers. AnnMarie silently made room for her.

It was still warm, but the warmth was somehow less comforting now. It seemed more like some forbidden pleasure she needed to stay away from. It seemed like something she didn't deserve.

She ran her fingers silently through AnnMarie's hair, keeping her eyes away from her face, focused instead on the wall. It didn't take long to lull her to sleep, something which Esther was thankful for. She actually decided to try and force herself to sleep some too.

She couldn’t handle being awake with her thoughts.

Esther woke up first this time, though AnnMarie quickly got up when she felt Esther get out of the bed. It was quiet between them as they got ready to leave, though not nearly as tense as Esther had feared it might be.

She decided to apologize one more time, just for good measure.

"I'm sorry about… last night." She said, looking down at the stiff hotel carpet.

She said it even though she didn't think AnnMarie would respond. The girl's usual method of dealing with problems was by not dealing with them at all, so Esther fully expected her to simply pretend as though nothing had happened last night.

"It wasn't anything that's wrong with you.." AnnMarie started. "It's actually… I had a dream about Shawna. She was a friend of mine who died, and it was very upsetting. Kissing and stuff, it's, you know, it's hard to get in the mood for it when you're feeling sad."

Esther winced and turned her face away.

"I should have asked you before hand." Esther found herself saying with an uncomfortable amount of honesty. "I was only thinking about myself and what I wanted."

AnnMarie walked over and hugged her from behind.

"It's okay. I said I'm not upset about it and I promise I mean it."

Esther laid one of her hands tentatively on AnnMarie's.

"Okay." She said.

But still, she felt like some nameless thing between them had shifted.