Chapter 17

As the sun peeked through the curtains, I quietly slipped out of bed, trying not to wake Erika. I had a headache and a slight cough that I hoped would dissipate as the day went on. Despite feeling under the weather, I wanted to make sure Erika had a good start to her day.

In the kitchen, I started making breakfast: scrambled eggs, toast, and a fruit salad. As I moved around, I felt a wave of dizziness, but I shook it off, determined to focus on Erika.

"Morning, sweetheart," I greeted Erika as she walked in, rubbing her eyes.

"Morning, Cat," she mumbled, still sleepy.

I placed a plate of food in front of her and sat down with my own, trying to ignore the pounding in my head. "How are you doing?" I asked, watching her closely.

Erika tensed, pushing her food around her plate. "Fine, how are you?"

"I'm well thanks for asking lovebug." I replied sitting next to her.

"How's school going? I haven't seen that girl. What was her name again? Something with a J." I interrogated.

Erika's shoulders tensed once more, "Schools okay. I have all A's, but I know I'm not the best I could be." She completed ignored the friend inquiry, noted.

I chuckled, "Aren't you top of the class?" I rhetorically asked. Her professors tell me all about her. Most of them are friends or were ancient and my professors when I was in college.

"How'd you know that?" Erika's eyes widened as she questioned me.

Busted.

"You told me." I lied.

"Really? Okay." She responded, picking at her nail beds. Another bad habit she has to break. Her biting her lips can be solved with a pacifier, but my baby throws a fit every time I suggest it.

I see her pinky finger start to bleed, "Stop picking at your skin honey." I scolded getting up to grab rubbing alcohol and a bandaid.

This happens more times than not. I needed to put a pacifier in her mouth, hopefully she would focus on that and not her skin.

I walked back with my supplies, "If you can't stop I'll have to enforce the pacifier at all times of the day." I raised my eyebrow and looked her dead in the eyes, "Understood?"

Erika nodded, "I expect a response little one."

"Yes, yes... mommy." She said reluctantly. She was so adorable. Sure she had her occasional tantrums and attitude, but she was quite the cutie.

My demeanor softened with calling me mommy without having to ask, "That's my good girl."

I kneeled next to her and put out my hand to clean her cut.

"It's okay I can do it." She clung to her independence, something I must undo.

I grabbed her hand, "I just want to make sure it's done right baby."

"Nooo it's going to hurt." Erika whined. Oh my poor baby was scared, how did I not realize?

"Honey, just for a second." I tried to ease her discomfort.

"Okay." She nodded, tears already threatening to form in her eyes.

I quickly cleaned all the blood off her cut to avoid infection, causing my girl to squeal.

I tenderly put on a bandaid, "You were so brave." I praised and left from my kneeling position.

Erika blushed and I kissed her little finger, "Mommy's kisses are magic and now it should be all better."

Erika smiled at my silly antics as she usually does.

"Now does some little girl want to tell me what's got her so anxious?" I questioned as I sat to face Erika.

"Just school that's it." Erika looked down avoiding my gaze, meaning she's not telling me the full truth.

I reached over and squeezed her hand. "I know it's a lot, lovebug, but you're capable of handling it. If it gets too overwhelming, we can always find help. Therapy might be a good option if you don't want to talk to me about it."

Erika's reaction was immediate. "No, Cat. I don't need therapy," she said sharply.

I sighed but didn't push further. "Alright, but remember I'm here if you need to talk." If she didn't talk to me then I would 100% get her a therapist, especially before she turns 18.

She nodded, but the tension in her shoulders remained. I noticed she wasn't eating and it worried me. "You need to eat something, Erika. You can't learn on an empty tummy."

"I can't, Cat," she said, her voice strained. "I'm too nauseous."

I nodded, trying to remain calm despite my concern. "Just try a little bit, okay?"

After a few more minutes of silence, Erika finally managed to eat a few bites. I made a mental note to keep an eye on her stress levels and find ways to help her manage.

Once Erika left for her psychology class, I got ready for work, still feeling the effects of my headache and cough. I decided not to mention it to Erika. She had enough on her plate without worrying about me.

At work, the day was long and exhausting. My headache persisted, and my cough worsened. I managed to push through, but by the time I got home, I was ready to collapse.

Erika was waiting for me when I walked through the door. She took one look at me and frowned. "Cat, are you okay? You look awful."

"I'm fine, sweetheart," I assured her, though my voice was hoarse. "Just a bit tired."

She stepped closer, concern etched on her face. "You don't look fine. You're sick, aren't you?"

I tried to wave her off, but another coughing fit betrayed me. "It's nothing, really."

Erika crossed her arms, her expression determined. "You're not fine Cat. Don't worry I'll take care of you."

"Oh my sweet girl. You don't have to do that. Mommy can take care of herself" I told her going to the nursery to get her a diaper so we can start our 2 hours.

Erika went after me, "Cat, you're sick and shouldn't be taking care of me. I'm a big girl don't worry, I'll be fine. Let's take care of you." Erika said trying to grab the diaper from my hand.

I opened my mouth to argue, but the pleading look in her eyes stopped me. She wanted to help, and I realized how much it meant to her. "Taking care of you is my favorite part of the day,"

"Fine I can be a baby," Erika rolled her eyes. Such a cheeky girl. "But we need to take it easy. I'll order takeout, so no making dinner, understood?" She sounded as if she was mimicking me making me laugh.

"Okay missy, deal. Let's get this diaper on you." I stated lifting her up onto the changing table.

"Nooo, I haven't had an accident in forever." Erika's little cheeks turned a bright shade of red.

"Honey, you know the rules." I warned.

"Yeah and it's been a week. I haven't had an accident and that was the deal." Erika argued. Wow I had forgotten about that. I can't believe I forgot to put in the medication.

I initially hoped she would finally slip now with breastfeeding, but still she seems like a such a big girl when I do baby things with her.

I tried to get her to play with toys and she ended up just watching cartoons, making me give her a time out for not listening.

Erika grunted and laid back, "Just this once since you're sick." I smiled at my considerate girl. I quickly put on her diaper and lifted her back up on my hip.

Tonight I would have to slip medication in a bottle instead of breastfeeding.

"Let's go to your room to rest." Erika demanded as she clung to my shirt tightly. She has so much potential. She already was so adorable, she just needs to fully let go.

"Okay baby." I laughed at her demanding tone.

Erika "tucked me in" as she liked to call it. She insisted I lie down whilst she made me tea. "You need to rest."

She got back and demanded I drank all my tea and took all my medicine.

As I lay there, Erika laid next to me and cuddled close.

"Do you want me to leave or stay?" Erika asked lifting her head from my chest.

I smiled down at her, "Wow aren't you considerate little one, I want all your cuddles." I said as I rubbed her back.

"Are you hot or cold?" She asked.

"I'm cold, but don't worry." I replied simply.

Erika went under the blankets and I felt a warm body enter my shirt. I yelped at the very unexpected contact.

She popped her little head out of the hole of my shirt and rested her head on my shoulder.

"Body heat's the best warmer." She said closing her eyes.

I couldn't stop my laugh, "Oh is it monkey? Well if you say so." I said. I didn't mind, in fact I loved it. I loved our closeness.

I continued to rub her back through my shirt, all of a sudden I seen a small pout form on her face.

"What's wrong little one?" I asked, confused on her sudden shift in mood.

Erika let out a sigh, "That feels better when I'm outside of your shirt, but I'm too comfy and you're so warm."

"Aw honey, why don't we take a little nap." I suggested as I brushed a piece of hair out of her face.

"No I'm not sleepy." She said as she yawned. She always fought me on these naps.

"Well I'm going to nap if you don't want to join me that's fine." I replied as I shut my eyes. The weight of my cold made sleep come very easy, but apparently for Erika it came even easier because I heard little snores before I sleep fully took me.

I woke up to the sound of my own coughing. The cold had me in its grip, but I couldn't let it stop me from taking care of Erika. I glanced at the clock and realized it was already late afternoon. Time to get up and make sure we had something for dinner.

I gently shook Erika awake. "Hey, little one, it's time to wake up."

Erika stirred, her eyes fluttering open. She yawned and stretched, still nestled close to me. "What time is it?" she asked sleepily.

"It's almost dinner time," I said, brushing a strand of hair away from her face. "What do you feel like eating?"

Erika sat up, rubbing her eyes. "Can we order from that Japanese place you like? You know, the one with the really good sushi?"

I smiled at her suggestion. "Of course, we can. Let's get some miso soup, sushi, and maybe some tempura."

She nodded enthusiastically. "That sounds yummy."

I placed the order and we waited for the food to arrive. Meanwhile, Erika insisted on helping me out of bed.

She held my hand all the way to the couch, "Let's eat in my room and watch a movie today?" I asked.

Erika made a disgusted face, "No, you'll get bugs if you eat in your bed."

"Only if a certain someone is a messy girl." I remarked poking her sides. She started giggling as I continued to tickle her.

"Stop, Cat." She said in between breaths.

"Cats not here, monkey" I replied still tickling her.

"Mommy stop." She finally said, causing me to smile and her giggles came to a stop.

As if on cue the door bell rang and Erika ran to answer it, much to my disapproval.

Luckily it was just the delivery man and she grabbed the food from him.

"Honey what did I say about opening the door?" I questioned once the door was shut.

She looked down at the food, "Not to open it for strangers."

"That's right. And what did you just do?" I asked standing up from the couch, placing my hands on my hips.

"Opened it." She replied disappointed.

I took the food from her hands, "While mommy gets the food together, you will sit in time out until I come get you." I demanded pointing to the corner.

She nodded and walked herself to the timeout chair in the corner of the living room.

I hated punishing her, but I've told her this multiple times and she's out of warnings.

I set up a cozy dinner spot in my room, while I waited for Erika to be ready to come out of time out.

I went back to the living room and kneaded down to her level. Every time I do this it surprises me that I was still so tall compared to her.

"I'm sorry mommy." Erika said, tears forming in her eyes.

"Oh my sweet girl. It's okay. I just want you to be safe and answering the door for a stranger isn't safe. Okay?" I pulled her into a hug, feeling a nod against my shoulder.

I picked her up and held her all the way to my room before setting her on my lap.

"Wait!" Erika shouted. She jumped off my lap.

"No jumping Erika." I scolded as I watched her run to the living room.

She brought in a small table and laid out some napkins and chopsticks. I could see the excitement in her eyes as she arranged everything neatly on the table.

"Eating on your bed is nasty. We'll use a table" She said as she tried to crawl back up on my bed. My bed was extra tall to make Erika feel smaller.

"Do you need help?" I laughed, watching her struggle.

"No." Erika side eyed me. She let out a big grunt before finally making it on the bed.

She crawled beside me and I immediately pulled her into my lap, causing a little whine to exit her mouth.

"Alright, sweetheart, let's eat," I stated. I picked up a piece of sushi with my chopsticks and held it out to her. "Open wide, baby."

"Mommy, you said if I was good I could feed myself." Erika whined.

"Yes, but a certain little one is messy, so mommy will feed you today." I remarked.

"Am not." She argued.

"Are too." I replied bringing the sushi to her mouth.

She blushed but complied, opening her mouth and letting me feed her. "Mmm, that's really good," she said after swallowing.

We continued eating, with me feeding her bite after bite. Erika was unusually compliant, letting me baby her without any resistance. I knew part of it was because she felt bad for me being sick, but I appreciated her cooperation nonetheless.

"You use chopsticks silly." Erika teased as I took a bite of sushi.

"Oh really?" I chuckled, "How?"

Erika shrugged, "Just weird."

"Okay silly girl. Here, try some miso soup," I said, bringing a spoonful to her lips.

Erika sipped the soup and nodded. "It's really tasty. It reminds me of this one next to the beach back in Okinawa."

I smiled, feeling a warmth that had nothing to do with the soup. "I'm glad you like it, sweetheart."

As we finished our meal, I noticed Erika looking at me with a mix of concern and affection. "You need to rest, mommy. You're not getting better if you keep pushing yourself."

I chuckled softly, I think I've heard this before. "I know, I know. But I can't help wanting to take care of you."

Erika leaned in and kissed my cheek. "Well, tonight I'm taking care of you. No arguments missy." She pointed at me.

I wrapped my arms around her, pulling her close. "Alright, little one. I'll let you take care of me tonight."

We cleaned up the remnants of our dinner and settled back into bed. Erika snuggled up next to me, her head resting on my shoulder. I could feel her warmth and love, and it made the sickness a little more bearable.

"You're such a good girl," I murmured, stroking her hair. "Mommy's so proud of you."

Erika sighed contentedly, her eyes closing as she nestled closer. "Love you."

"I love you too, baby," I whispered, kissing the top of her head.

"Shall we take a bath?" I asked, knowing despite her answer we will take one anyways.

"I already did but I can run you one." She said opening her eyes to look up at me.

"I'll take one when you fall asleep then." I replied resting my chin on the top of Erika's head.

"No mommy. I'm going to sleep after you so I can take care of you." Erika whined.

"Alright fine fussy." I conceded. She smiled and I pulled her off my lap with the intention of making a bottle.

"Mommy's going to make you a bottle, you can stay here." I began to stand before a little hand grabbed mine.

"No, I'll do it, you rest." Erika argued.

"Do you even know how to?" I asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Uhh. Fine, but come right back." She blushed.

"Okay, monkey I'll be right back." I replied fully exiting the door.

I entered the kitchen and began to make the bottle as normal. Of course tonight I had to add the special medicine to allow Erika to stay in diapers.

I warmed the bottle and brought it back to the room. As soon as I entered the room I saw a sleepy Erika struggling to keep her eyes open.

I went on the bed and cradled her in my arms. I brought the bottle to her lips and watched as she slowly suckled.

I wish I could have breastfed, but alas this must be done.

I rocked Erika gently as she continued to nurse from the bottle. I cooed at her trying so hard to keep her eyes open.

Once the bottle was finished Erika was sound asleep. I was feeling very fatigue myself that I also went sound asleep after setting the bottle down.

I adjusted Erika to sleep on the length of chest. Her little body fit perfectly on my upper half. She was just too tiny.

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I woke up feeling groggy and disoriented. The room was dimly lit, the only light coming from the faint glow of the bedside lamp. I instinctively reached out for Erika, expecting to find her nestled beside me, but my hand met empty sheets. I bolted upright, the cold gripping my body more intensely now that she wasn't there to warm me.

"Erika?" I called out, my voice raspy from the cold. No response.

I pushed the blankets aside and got out of bed, feeling the ache in my muscles protest with every movement. I walked through the house, checking every room—her bedroom, the kitchen, the living room. She was nowhere to be found.

Panic started to rise in my chest. Where could she have gone? Did she go out without telling me? That wasn't like her. I went back to my room and grabbed my phone, quickly dialing her number. It rang and rang, but no answer.

"Erika, where are you?" I whispered to myself, feeling a knot tighten in my stomach.

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Shits abt to go down. 😝😝