Chapter 14

Catherine's pov

Erika was hesitant at first to leave her job at the coffee shop, but after I explained to her it will look more impressive when she applies to grad school she was more compliant.

No freshman really gets the opportunity to work at such a company as mine their freshman year, it's unheard of. Yet, I'm planning on keeping her close to me, making her more reliant on me for everything so hopefully she slips into a headspace. I know she has the ability, the traits, just need to push her over.

Tomorrow I'm teaching a special seminar for Professor Whitlock on the interesting effects of breastfeeding, the thing I was currently researching. I had not told Erika yet, but I knew she wouldn't be happy about it.

Today I face the current challenge though, keeping Erika from running off without me.

"Honey, just let me put on your pull-up just in case." I told Erika as she was just in underwear and a bra.

"No, I don't need it. I've been fine," she replied, looking down and twiddling her thumbs.

Oh my, she was so adorable, but she was going to get a major time out if she kept talking back.

"Sweetie, it's for your own good," I said, my tone firm but gentle. "You don't want any accidents, do you?"

Her cheeks flushed bright red, and she shook her head. "No, but... I don't want to wear it."

I knelt down to her level, holding her gaze. "It's just for today, lovebug. If you stay dry, we won't have to use them again. But it's important that we avoid any mishaps, especially on your first day at the internship."

Reluctantly, she nodded, and I helped her into the pull-up. Her face was a picture of embarrassment, but I knew this was necessary. I dressed her in a cute, professional outfit—a knee-length skirt and a blouse, both modest yet flattering. She looked every bit the capable young woman she was, but the pull-up underneath added a layer of security.

"There we go," I said, brushing a strand of hair from her face. "All set."

We headed to my office, where Erika would start her first day as my intern. She was visibly nervous, and I couldn't blame her. This was a big step, but it was also crucial for her development.

"Good morning, everyone," I greeted my team as we walked in. "This is Erika, my new intern. She'll be assisting us with our current study."

Everyone greeted her warmly, though I could see Erika's discomfort growing as I fussed over her, adjusting her blouse and smoothing her hair.

"Why don't you sit here, sweetie?" I said, guiding her to a chair beside my desk. "I'll get you set up with some initial tasks."

Erika's cheeks were still pink with embarrassment, but she complied. I went over the basics, making sure she understood her responsibilities. Throughout the day, I found small ways to baby her, offering her snacks, asking if she needed anything, and giving her constant, gentle reminders.

"Erika, do you need a break?" I asked mid-morning. "You've been working hard."

"I'm fine, really," she insisted, though I could see the frustration in her eyes.

I leaned in close, speaking softly. "Remember, it's important to take care of yourself. Let's go have a snack, okay?"

She sighed but didn't argue, following me to the break room. I handed her a granola bar and a juice box, smiling as she reluctantly took them. As she started to open the juice box, I stopped her.

"Actually, lovebug, why don't we use this instead?" I pulled out a baby bottle filled with apple juice from my bag.

Erika's eyes widened in shock. "A bottle? Here?"

"Yes, sweetie," I said gently but firmly.

Her cheeks turned bright red, but she nodded reluctantly. I sat down on a chair and motioned for her to sit on my lap. She hesitated, looking around nervously.

"No one will come in," I reassured her. "It's just you and me."

She climbed onto my lap, still looking embarrassed. I cradled her in my arms and brought the bottle to her lips. She opened her mouth reluctantly, and I began feeding her. As she sucked on the bottle, I could feel her gradually relaxing in my arms.

"That's my good girl," I whispered, stroking her hair. "Just relax."

After she finished the bottle, I wiped her mouth with a napkin and kissed her forehead, "Good. Now let's get back to work."

The rest of the day went similarly. Erika did her tasks diligently, but her irritation at my constant attention was evident. By the end of the day, she was clearly on edge.

"Alright, everyone," I said as the day wound down. "Great work today. Erika, you did wonderfully for your first day."

She managed a small smile, but as we walked to the car, she finally let her frustration out.

"Why do you keep treating me like a baby?" she demanded, her voice a mix of anger and hurt. "I'm trying to do my job, but you're making it so hard."

I stopped and turned to face her, my expression serious. "I'm sorry if it felt overwhelming, Erika. I just want to make sure you're adjusting well and taking care of yourself."

She crossed her arms, looking down. "I can take care of myself, you know. I'm not a child."

I gently lifted her chin, making her look at me. "I know you're just my baby. Sometimes, it's okay to let someone care for you. You don't have to do everything on your own."

She looked away, biting her lip. "I just... it's embarrassing."

"I understand," I said softly. "We'll find a balance, okay? But for now, let's get home and have a nice dinner."

She nodded, still looking unsure.

As we pulled into the driveway, I noticed Erika shifting uncomfortably in her seat. Her face was flushed, and she was fidgeting more than usual.

"Erika, is something wrong?" I asked, concern lacing my voice.

She shook her head, but the worry in her eyes told me otherwise. "I'm fine," she muttered, but her discomfort was palpable.

We stepped out of the car, and as we reached the front door, Erika suddenly ran to the door, but I had the keys to unlock it, her face turning an even deeper shade of red. She stopped at the door and looked down, I followed her gaze to see a small, wet spot forming on her skirt.

"Oh, sweetheart," I said softly, "It's okay. Let's get you inside."

Tears welled up in Erika's eyes, and she looked away, clearly mortified. "No this can't be happening," she whispered, her voice trembling.

"Shh, it's alright," I reassured her, guiding her inside and closing the door behind us. "Accidents happen. Let's get you cleaned up."

I led her to the bathroom, where I carefully helped her out of her wet clothes and into the shower. As the warm water cascaded over her, I could see the tension slowly leaving her body. Once she was clean, I wrapped her in a soft towel and held her close.

"I'm sorry," she repeated, tears streaming down her face. "I didn't mean to. I really don't know what's gotten into me."

"I know, baby," I whispered, stroking her hair. "It's not your fault. I'm going to give you a warm bath." It really wasn't her, but she needed this.

I led her to the bathroom, her shoulders slumped in distress. She looked so small and vulnerable, and it broke my heart to see her like this. I started the water, making sure it was the perfect temperature before gently guiding her into the tub.

"Let's get you in the tub," I said softly, helping her step into the warm water.

She sat down, the warmth enveloping her, but her eyes were still filled with tears. I climbed in behind her, cradling her in my lap as I reached for the soap.

"You're okay, monkey. Just relax," I murmured, running my fingers through her hair and massaging her scalp with gentle, soothing strokes.

She sniffled, leaning back against me, but I could feel the tension in her body. "I don't understand why this is happening," she said, her voice shaky. "I've never had accidents like this before moving here."

I kissed the top of her head. "It's a lot of change, lovebug. New place, new routines, new stress. It's not uncommon for the body to react in ways we don't expect."

"But it's so embarrassing," she whispered, tears mixing with the bathwater.

"I know, darling," I said, continuing to wash her hair. "But we're going to get through this together. There's nothing to be ashamed of. I'm here for you, no matter what."

I moved the soapy cloth gently over her body, washing away the remnants of her accident with care. Each touch was deliberate and tender, hoping to soothe her troubled mind. Erika's breathing started to slow as she relaxed into my embrace.

As I rinsed her off, she sighed deeply. "I hate feeling like this. I hate feeling like a baby."

"Baby, honey, it's okay to feel this way. Maybe you need to accept those feelings instead of pushing them away." I reassured her.

She nodded slightly, her eyes still downcast. "I just want to be normal."

I finished washing her, then gently lifted her out of the tub and wrapped her in a soft, fluffy towel. "Normal is overrated," I said with a small smile. "Besides, who defines what's normal? You are perfect just the way you are."

Erika leaned into me as I dried her off, her face buried in my shoulder. I held her close, feeling her distress slowly dissipate as the warmth of the towel surrounded her.

"I'll always take care of you," I whispered. "No matter what."

After drying her off, I helped her into a fresh pull-up and some comfortable clothes. We headed to the kitchen to prepare dinner, and though Erika still looked a bit shaken, I could tell she was starting to feel a little better.

As we worked together to set the table, I looked at her and smiled. "How about we make tonight special? We'll have some leftover dessert, and just relax. No pressure, no stress. Just us."

Erika nodded, a small smile tugging at the corners of her mouth. "Okay. That sounds nice."

And so, we settled into a quiet evening, enjoying each other's company and finding comfort in the simple things. It was a small step, but it was a step forward, and for now, that was enough

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Erika's pov

"What do you mean you're going to class with me today?" I asked, my shock written all over my face. There really was no escaping her. On days I don't have classes I work as Cat's intern. It would be great, if she wasn't constantly babying me.

"Mommy's teaching a class lovebug," Cat brushed a piece of hair out of my face, "Professor Whitlock invited me, we're old friends." I rolled my eyes and groaned.

"Hey, corner right now I will not tolerate this attitude." Cat said sternly.

I glared at her, but the look in her eyes told me she wasn't joking. Reluctantly, I marched over to the corner, crossing my arms over my chest as I stood there, feeling ridiculous.

I stood there, fuming. After a few minutes, or more like a few eternities she called me back.

"Okay, come here," she said gently. I turned around and walked back to her, my cheeks flushed with anger and embarrassment.

"You know why mommy put you in the corner?" She asked as I looked to the floor, not meeting her eyes.

"For having an attitude." I replied reluctantly.

"Yes honey, mommy knows you're frustrated," she said, pulling me into a hug. "But this is important."

I didn't want to believe her, but a small part of me hoped she was right. I leaned into her hug, taking a deep breath.

"Let's get ready for class," she said, pulling back and giving me a reassuring smile.

We walked to campus together, the cool morning air helping to clear my head a little. I couldn't help but feel self-conscious, though, knowing Cat would be in the same classroom as me.

When we arrived, the classroom was already filling up with students. Professor Whitlock greeted Cat warmly, and I could see they really were old friends.

"Welcome, everyone," Professor Whitlock began. "Today, we have a special guest lecturer, Dr. Catherine Barlowe, who will be discussing her research on the effects of breastfeeding."

Cat started with an overview of the physiological and psychological benefits of breastfeeding. She discussed how breastfeeding not only provides essential nutrients and antibodies to the infant but also promotes bonding between the mother and child. She delved into the hormones released during breastfeeding, such as oxytocin, which fosters a sense of trust and attachment.

"As we've seen through various studies," Catherine continued, "breastfeeding is not just about feeding the baby. It's an intricate dance of biology and psychology that strengthens the emotional bond between the mother and child. This bond is especially crucial in adoptive families or situations where the child might not be biologically related to the caregiver."

I shifted uncomfortably in my seat as she moved onto this topic, feeling a sense of dread creeping in.

"For non-biological mothers, breastfeeding can be an incredible tool to establish a deep connection with their child. The act itself, the skin-to-skin contact, the eye contact during feeding, all play significant roles in reinforcing this bond. In many cases, it can help the child feel more secure and loved."

I could feel the heat rising in my cheeks. The room seemed to close in around me. This was too much. I had to get out of there. Quietly, I stood up and slipped out of the classroom, trying not to draw any attention to myself.

As soon as I was out in the hallway, I took a deep breath, my heart racing. I felt suffocated by the idea of being reduced to a helpless infant in front of all my peers. It was one thing to deal with Cat's babying in private, but the thought of it being discussed so openly, even academically, was too much to bear.

I wandered around campus aimlessly, trying to clear my mind. After a while, I found a bench under a large oak tree and sat down, staring at the ground.

I knew what was to come, she wanted me to breastfeed with her. I already bathe with her what's sucking on her tit?

But still a part of me wants to resist. I know that it will change our dynamic completely. She already treats me like a child even outside of the realm of normalcy. While I guess there's nothing normal about it.

From the corner of my eye I saw a tall blonde figure approaching me, "Erika, there you are," she said, kneeling down in front of me. "What happened? Are you okay?"

I looked up at her, tears threatening to spill over. "I couldn't... I couldn't stay in there," I admitted, my voice shaky. "It was too much."

Cat sighed and pulled me into a gentle hug. "I'm sorry, lovebug. I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable. Let's go somewhere more private and talk, okay?"

She started to pick me to which I refused, "No, not here someone can see."

"Okay monkey, but you will be holding my hand after running off without telling me." Cat grabbed my hand and I blushed a deep shade of red. It's better than being carried.

Cat led me to her office. Everyone greeted us once more, the main Dr's on Cat's case came over to coo over me, asking if I was okay, likely due to my tear stained face.

I was so embarrassed. It was becoming my most common emotion. I felt it multiple times everyday after moving here.

Cat finally closed the door to her office, giving us some privacy. She guided me to the couch and sat down beside me, her expression serious yet gentle.

"Love, I want to talk to you about something important," she began, holding my hand tightly.

Cat sighed and brushed a strand of hair out of my face. "I want you to know that my goal is to build the ultimate bond with you, to make you feel safe, loved, and secure. That's why I want to introduce breastfeeding."

My eyes widened in shock, and I pulled my hand away. "What? No, Cat. That's... that's too much."

"Monkey, listen to me," she said softly, reaching out to cup my cheek. "Breastfeeding isn't just about feeding. It's about comfort, bonding, and establishing a deep connection. I believe it could help you feel more secure and help us connect on a deeper level."

I shook my head, tears welling up in my eyes again. "I don't know if I can do that. It feels... it feels too much like giving up who I am."

Cat hugged me tightly, rocking me gently. "You're not giving up who you are, honey. You're just letting yourself be loved and cared for in a different way. We'll take it slow, and if you ever feel uncomfortable, we can stop. But I want you to trust me and give it a chance."

I buried my face in between her chest, conflicted and scared. The thought of being breastfed felt humiliating and infantilizing, yet a part of me craved the closeness and comfort she was offering.

"I... I don't know," I whispered. "It's just... a lot."

"I understand, baby," Cat whispered back. "We'll go at your pace, but I want you to think about it. I want to build that ultimate bond with you, to make you feel cherished and loved. Can you at least consider it?"

I nodded hesitantly, feeling torn. "Okay. I'll think about it."

Cat smiled and kissed my forehead. "That's all I ask. Now, let's get you cleaned up and feeling better, okay?"

She stood up and helped me to my feet, guiding me to the private bathroom in her office. She filled the sink with warm water and gently washed my face, wiping away the remnants of my tears.

"There we go," she said softly. "All clean. How about we take a little break and get some fresh air? Now let's go home"

As we returned home, I felt a sense of relief wash over me. The day had been overwhelming, and I was looking forward to some quiet time to gather my thoughts. But Catherine had other plans.

"Alright, little one," she said as we stepped inside, "I know you have some homework to do. Let's get you settled, and I'll make us a snack."

I nodded, feeling a bit apprehensive. Cat was being extra attentive, and I wasn't sure how to feel about it. I gathered my books and notebooks, setting them up on the dining table. Cat returned with a plate of sliced apples and a small dish of peanut butter, placing it in front of me.

"Here you go, sweetheart. Now, what are we working on today?" she asked, sitting down beside me.

I sighed, opening my textbook. "I have a biology lab paper to finish."

"Alright, let's tackle it together," she said cheerfully. "You read, and I'll help you with the notes."

I started reading, and Cat stayed right by my side, occasionally feeding me slices of apple dipped in peanut butter. Her presence was suffocating. I sometimes appreciated her help, but at this moment I felt like I couldn't breathe.

As the evening went on, Cat didn't leave my side. She helped me eat dinner, then guided me to the bathroom for a bath. She washed my hair and scrubbed my back, talking softly the entire time. Once I was clean, she dressed me in my pajamas and brushed my hair.

"You're such a good girl," she praised, giving me a gentle kiss on the forehead. "Ready for bed?"

I nodded, though I was far from ready to sleep. "Can I read for a bit?" I asked, trying to buy some time.

"How about I read you a bedtime story?" she suggested. She tucked me into bed, handing me a book.

Cat selected a book from the shelf, a children's storybook with colorful illustrations. She settled beside me on the bed, her presence warm and reassuring. As she began to read, her voice was soft and soothing, drawing me into the story.

"Once upon a time, in a faraway land, there was a little girl who loved adventures," she began, her fingers gently stroking my hair as she read. I closed my eyes, letting the cadence of her voice wash over me, but still sleep was far from being near.

I eventually pretended to fall asleep. Once Cat went to her room to sleep, I carefully slipped out of bed and grabbed my phone. I needed to talk to my mom, I had forgotten to call or text for a while.

I tiptoed to the living room and clicked her contact. After a few rings, she answered.

"What do you want?" Her voice was cold and distant.

"Mama, it's me," I said softly. "I just wanted to talk."

"Talk about what?" she snapped. "I'm busy."

"I... I just needed someone to talk to," I said, with hope glistening in my eyes.

"You made your bed, now lie in it." She retorted.

Her words cut deep, and I felt my heart sink. "I just... I thought you might understand."

"Understand what? You need to grow up, Erika. I don't have time for this."

She hung up, leaving me standing there in the dark, feeling more alone than ever. I couldn't stop the tears from falling as I made my way back to the bedroom.

When I collapsed in my bed all I could do was cry. Every conversation I had with my mother ended poorly, yet I still craved her approval. So much so that I couldn't sleep. Last time I went to Cat's room and fell right to bed, but this time I knew she would try a different approach to comforting; breastfeeding.

The thought of it made my face burn with embarrassment, but the need for Cat was stronger. I sobbed into my pillow, my heart aching from the harsh words of my mother. The emptiness in my chest grew heavier with each passing minute, and I knew I couldn't handle it alone. Desperation pushed me out of bed and down the hall to Cat's room.

With trembling hands, I knocked on her door, my sobs barely under control. "Cat?" I called out, my voice cracking.

The door opened almost immediately, and Cat stood there, concern etched on her face. "Honey, what's wrong?" she asked, pulling me into a warm embrace.

I clung to her, my tears soaking her nightgown. "I... I can't sleep," I choked out. "I need you..."

Cat's eyes softened, and she nodded. "Of course, sweetheart. Come here." She led me to her bed and sat down, gently pulling me onto her lap. "Do you want me to breastfeed you?" she asked softly, brushing the hair out of my face.

I nodded, unable to speak. The idea of such an intimate act was both embarrassing and comforting, but at that moment, I needed her more than anything.

Cat smiled tenderly and adjusted her nightgown, offering her breast to me. "It's okay, baby," she whispered. "Let mommy take care of you."

Hesitantly, I latched on, the warmth and closeness immediately soothing my shattered heart. Cat's hand stroked my hair, and she hummed a soft lullaby, her voice wrapping around me like a protective cocoon.

As I nursed, the pain and loneliness began to ebb away, replaced by a profound sense of safety and love. Cat's gentle touch and soft words were exactly what I needed, and I felt my body relax for the first time since the phone call.

"You're so precious," Cat murmured, her voice filled with love. "I'll always be here for you, no matter what."

Tears continued to flow, but they were no longer tears of sorrow. They were tears of relief and gratitude.

As the minutes passed, I felt myself growing sleepier, the warmth of Cat's embrace lulling me into a peaceful state. She continued to hum softly, gently rocking me back and forth.

Before finally drifting off to sleep, I locked eyes with Cat. She looked at me with nothing more than love, more than my mother has ever done. I should stop resisting her and just accept her as she is, without so much resistance. She made me feel safe and loved in a way I had never felt before.

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