Chapter Two

I was glad for the WiFi in Elorm's apartment. Back in Mississippi, we could barely afford WiFi and it wasn't very fast.

After surfing the web for nearly two hours, I'd found something I believed would work. I'd also gathered information on the man who destroyed me. He was in prison, thank God, but that wasn't enough. He needed to pay. Prison wasn't enough.

I took a shower and went downstairs for breakfast. The kitchen was just as luxurious as I expected it to be. There were freshly fried eggs and sausages and baked beans. There was also 'white koko', peanuts and milk. I opted for the Ghanaian breakfast with a little bit of fried egg and bread.

Elorm came down just minutes after I'd dug in and she pressed a kiss to my cheek. She would never know just how much she affected me because I would never tell her. She was into boys only anyway and she was head over heels for that suicidal idiot.

"I missed you so much," she said cheekily, throwing herself onto my lap.

I took in a deep breath to calm myself down. "I missed you too. Thanks for staying in touch."

"Thank you for being an awesome person," she laughed and stole peanuts from my porridge.

"Stop it! I need all of those peanuts!"

"Groundnuts. This is Ghana okay? You will speak like a Ghanaian till you leave."

I rolled my eyes, but smiled anyway. "How have you been?" I asked.

She clambered off my lap and took the seat opposite me. It was then that I saw just how horrible she looked. I mean, she was as pretty as always, but she had dark bags underneath her eyes and an aura of sadness around her.

"Bad. Kofi doesn't understand that I really want to be with him. You know, I think that he is the one who doesn't want to be with me. I've tried to convince him too many times but all he keeps saying is 'I've hurt you so much, you can't possibly want me.' Next thing I know, I find him passed out on the floor with an empty bottle of pills beside his head."

She tried to come off as nonchalant, but I heard the way her voice shook especially as she recounted his suicide attempt. I'd never liked him, but I hated him even more for what he was doing to her.

"I'm sorry. How is he?" I asked, even though I couldn't care less. I didn't wish death upon him, but if it would take him away from her and bring him peace, then who was I to pray against it?

"He's awake. He said he still doesn't remember everything in detail but instead of that helping, it makes him feel 'empty'. He said he doesn't feel anything, he's numb, and lonely. Even though I spend every waking moment by his side, he has the gull to tell me that he's lonely," she said, her voice lowering into an angry hiss.

I nervously fiddled with my fingers. "Have... have you considered leaving him?"

Her head whipped up sharply. "No, not even for a minute. I'm not sure if I love him, but I do feel something strong. It's not lust, if you're wondering," she laughed softly. The smile that'd formed on her face faded quickly and she licked her lips and looked down. "I wish we never had sex though. That was the beginning of all this. It was a foolish, rash decision. We should've taken things slowly. I hurt him. I slept with him even though he told me that his virginity was the gift he'd give the woman he loved. I took it with no intention of loving him." By then, she was shaking and tears were rushing down her cheeks.

I hated seeing her cry. It made me want to cry too and also hurt whoever was causing those tears. I rushed to her side, knelt next to her and hugged her. She was sitting so she was much taller than me. She put her chin on my head and wrapped her arms around my neck, sobbing quietly.

"It'll be fine. He'll be fine, I promise," I whispered. I wanted her for myself, but I wanted her to be happy too. If Kofi was the person who would make her happy, then I did want him to be fine. She deserved the world and more.

"I hope so. I don't know what I'd do if he died. You know," she pulled away and wiped her cheeks, "I have no idea when I fell for him. When did it happen? I thought I hated him for a long while then suddenly, I was taking his clothes off and kissing him, and now, I can't imagine life without him."

"Psychology says never get too attached to anyone because it'll hurt too much when they leave."

She glared at me. "If they leave. And I'll be fine without him," she frowned. "I think."

"Okay," I said and tapped her shoulder. "I have somewhere to be so don't expect me back till late."

"Take a jacket and or an umbrella. I'll get the chauffeur to give you a ride so that you won't have to take a taxi. Plus, here," she handed me a black card, "in case you feel like going shopping."

I took the card, grinning mischievously. "Boss woman," I teased, punching her playfully.

She smiled and looked down, shy. She was so adorable, and what made her even more alluring was that she didn't realise that.

I headed upstairs to take a jacket like she asked when Kofi passed right beside me, heading downstairs without paying me any mind. For someone who'd had a brush with death, he seemed fine.

Out of curiosity, but mainly jealousy, I went and hid behind the wall, peeking at them.

He strode up to my seat, slowing down almost nervously when he saw her. She looked up, and he sat down slowly, clasping his hands in front of him.

"Hello," he whispered. His voice was weary and strained, it came out like a croak.

She stared at him without replying for a few seconds, then went back to stealing my peanuts.

"Elorm..."

"Four days ago, you consumed a lethal amount of pills. What was that? You wanted to pay me back for what I did to you? You wanted to show me what would've happened if--"

"No. Of course not," he whispered, straining to push his voice past his throat. "I can't explain to you how I feel because I don't know how I feel. I went to a doctor, Ellie. It's a medical condition, but the name was too complicated to keep in my mind. I actually have a medical condition where I can't understand my feelings. Do you know what this means? Elorm, you won't want to be with me. You don't, now that you know, do you?"

She bit her lip, then rose quickly. Her hand came up and headed for his cheek at lighting speed, but he caught her wrist before it could make contact with his cheek, eyes wide.

They were quiet for a few seconds, him looking shocked and afraid of her and she confused, like she couldn't understand why she was doing what she was doing. Suddenly, she gasped, dropping her hand, but Kofi didn't leave her wrist. "I'm... I'm sorry... I..."

"Nevermind. I'll be at my house. Don't come to visit," he hissed and let go of her wrist, storming out of the kitchen.

Instantly, I was filled with rage. He had no right to be angry with her after all that he had and was still putting her through.

When he got to the stairs and began the climb, I stood in his way. He finally looked at me for the first time that day.

He looked different. His hair was much longer, and he had a stubble. His eyes looked sadder than they used to, but that indecipherable look I was used to was on his face.

I could tell that he was hurting, but my anger had forbidden any kind of rationality from entering my brain.

"She said she was sorry," I hissed, shoving him back a few stairs.

He came up and shoved me too. Luckily for me, I was stronger than most girls. I might have ended up on the floor if I wasn't.

"Stay out of my way," he said. He was still as dangerous as he used to be, just that with that strained voice and knowing all that he'd been through, I couldn't find it in me to be scared of him.

"You have the balls to be angry with her after all you've done to her," I continued, regardless.

"This is none of your business, and I'm not angry with her," he sighed, his hands clenching into fists. "I know she can't love me even if she tried. I've hurt her and if she chooses to be with me, I will continue to hurt her. I want to be with her so badly but I also want her to be happy, and that happiness is not with me."

"That's what you think," Elorm said, startling both of us. He turned around quickly, his shoulders dropping once he looked at her. She came up to him and wrapped her arms around his neck. "I don't care what any doctor says. I want you, Kofi, and even if we won't work out in the end, you're worth the risk."

He stayed frozen for a little while, just probably staring at her.

She smiled a little, then whispered in a certain sing-song but desperate voice, "I'm sorry for almost hitting you. I'm so sorry. It will never happen again, I promise," she held one hand up and put the other on her chest. "If I hit you or attempt it again, you can break up with me and have me arrested for physical assault."

He chuckled a little bit, then went silent again. They stayed there, and she was staring at him hopefully, almost desperately, wringing her hands behind his neck.

Suddenly, his shoulders shook and he buried his head in the crook of her neck. His arms came around her top half, then he lifted his head, gazed into her eyes and kissed her.

She returned his kiss, getting on tiptoe so that he wouldn't strain his neck. Her fingers wove through his hair lovingly as she pressed herself against him.

Jealously. I'd never felt it so strongly as I did in that moment. It was foolish, really. I badly I wished I were a man because of her. I could've wished not to have feelings for her, but I was wishing I were a man instead. As if she would leave Kofi and want me even if I were a man. I was an idiot, that was for sure.

I continued upstairs and took my jacket. When I got back downstairs, she was sitting on the kitchen counter and he was between her legs. They were just staring at each other and he was caressing her cheeks in addition.

He hugged her, his chin on her head as his arms tightened around her back.

Tears slid down my cheeks. There was nothing more painful than watching someone you wanted with someone else. It was a pain that would remain with me forever.

It would sit atop all the other pains that would remain with me forever.

* * *

this is sad, idk 😢

prepare for some twisted stuff, coming up soon!

vote or whatever, see if i care. 🌟