Chapter Nine

TRIGGER WARNING: mentions of plan b (fetus scrapping) the word itself isn't mentioned though.

"This isn't going to work."

"It's the perfect plan."

"What about the cameras? It's going to show that we weren't in visiting areas!"

"Do you know this thing people do where they hack into technology?"

"Very funny."

"You need to relax. What you should be worrying about is your suspicious relationship with Edinam's ex," Wolfgang said with a teasing smile, leaning back on my bed with his arms under his head.

"Justus?" I asked. "We're just friends!"

"Yeah right," he snorted. "That's what they all say, next thing you know, you're having a baby."

"I had a hysterectomy."

"What? Why?"

"I didn't know how long I was going to work as a prostitute and I didn't want to risk getting pregnant by a stranger."

"But don't you think that was a bit rash? Didn't you think of long term birth control like IUDs or freezing your eggs?"

"Still a slight chance I would've gotten pregnant."

"Did you know that with birth control pills, women usually only get pregnant because they forget to take the pills?"

"I don't have the memory of an elephant, I would've forgotten," I sighed. "I would've loved to have a child of my own, but somethings just aren't meant for me. It wouldn't have been right for me to bring a child into a life like this."

He looked at me sympathetically, placing his palm over my hand. "I'm sorry. Maybe one day, when you're ready, you can adopt."

"Yeah, I guess so. Though I don't know which kid would want me to be their mother. I would mess them up for sure."

"Stop it!" Elorm yelled, appearing out of nowhere. A breath literally escaped me as I wondered how she could've snuck into my room without me hearing the door open. "You will be a great mother one day, of course, if you want to be a mother one day."

I was glad she hadn't heard the preamble of the conversation. She would've made a bigger fuss than Wolfgang did. "Thank you, both of you. You're just lying to me," I chuckled when they frowned simultaneously, "but thanks. We all need a few lies to make us feel better sometimes."

Wolfgang discontinued his contact with me and shook his head. He turned to me with a smile, nodded slightly and said, "Well, I'll be heading out now. Kofi's finding me a house."

I smiled back even though it felt painful. Wolfgang accepted it anyway and made for the door. He tried to squeeze past Elorm, but she didn't let him. She crossed her arms and blocked the doorway, staring pointedly. He avoided her eyes.

"Wolfgang, we need to talk," she said.

"I have nothing to say to you."

"Yes you do. You know you do."

"I'm not going to surround myself with people who invalidate my struggles."

"I'm sorry, okay? Let's just talk. Please," she whined, looking up at him through wide, innocent eyes.

For some reason, I wondered if she looked at Kofi like that when they had sex. I wondered if he found that as arousing as I did-mainly because I was a disgusting pervert.

"Fine," he said. "In my room."

Before she left, she gave me a nervous smile and I returned that with a thumbs up. She called me a dork but I didn't mind.

I called Justus as soon as they left. He told me that he'd found my father, and the man was actually excited to hear from me. I was supposed to meet him for lunch at a certain restaurant.

I was nervous. I didn't know how to feel. My mother told the man that she was pregnant, but apparently, he was neither mentally nor physically ready for a baby. I didn't blame him. He just wasn't ready, and at least he had the courage to discard me, unlike her. To be honest, the only person I could really find fault with was my mother.

She too wasn't ready for a kid. She shouldn't have let me be born. She could've even given me to my grandparents. They weren't rich, but they weren't as poor as she was and neither of them was involved in prostitution. She didn't like them because they were believers, and they didn't approve of her lifestyle. She moved out when she was sixteen to live with her boyfriend.

When my grandmother tried to get her home, she told the police that my grandparents were abusive and showed them scars that she'd made herself. Somehow, she was granted emancipation and she never went back to my grandparents' again. She broke up with that boyfriend of hers and went into full-time prostitution and that was when she got pregnant with me-at sixteen.

My grandparents begged to have me, but she refused. She kept me away from them out of spite. It was funny, because she was a believer too. She wasn't angry with God or religion, but she was angry with them. It made me wonder what exactly they'd done to her. By the time I turned sixteen myself, they died and left us a few thousand dollars. She used it all.

My father was finally ready for me. Perhaps it would've angered other people, but it didn't anger me. He'd gotten all the immaturity out of his system and he was finally ready to meet his mistake. I didn't know whether he wanted to claim me as his daughter, but I still wanted to meet him so badly. I just wanted, no, needed someone to love me. If I didn't have that, I would die. I was sure of it.

I wore a yellow dress. It was a flowery sundress. Surprisingly, it was hot that day. I paired the dress with a pair of black sneakers. Perhaps I looked stupid, but I really didn't care. I was too excited. I barely wore any make up at all but then again, I didn't want to look like that stupid doll anyway. My lips looked less pink without the gloss and my skin wasn't as perfect without foundation and all that yadda yadda.

I called Justus again. I sniffled, filled with emotion when he picked up. "I'm ready."

"Stop crying Barbs. I'm with him right now, you should see how excited he is. He's cried like three times already."

I giggled. He sounded sweet. "Tell him to dry his tears. I'll be there in thirty."

Thirty was an overestimation, especially since Elorm let me ride in one of her chauffeur driven cars. She had hugged me and fussed over the thought that I was going to meet my father, though she was pissed off that he had left me.

The restaurant building loomed into view before I could say 'jack', and the driver was helping me down in the blink of an eye. I was heading for the glass doors with my mind somewhere in the clouds. It was all a bit of a daze, it felt like a dream, yet I was aware of the eyes on me.

I was pretty, I knew, but staying in that country helped increase my beauty. The sun was really good for tanning-when it did come out-and it made my skin look crisp and golden, but they were mainly looking at me due to my resemblance to that annoying doll.

I went past all the eyes. I found those I was looking for by catching sight of Justus' hair. He had his back to me. My father was sitting in front of him, yet I couldn't see him because of his bent form.

The man had my platinum blonde hair and crisp skin. I was glad I resembled one parent at least, because I never looked like my mother. There wasn't even an ounce of resemblance. She was pale with red hair and green eyes, a breathtaking woman.

The platinum blonde man with dark, tan skin lifted his head, and our ocean blue eyes locked. Looking into those eyes identical to mine, a thousand emotions rushed through me in the twinkle of an eye. They rushed into me and crashed into my mind, dominating all thoughts and other senses.

I felt overwhelmed. It was probably the stupidest thing I could do, but I turned around and ran.

"Barbara! Wait!" came a deep gravelly voice. It felt like I'd known the voice all my life, even though I had just heard it.

The pure and untainted despair and want in that voice stopped me. As soon as I stopped, the fast approaching, earth-shattering sound of footsteps stopped too.

"Barbara," the man said.

What was I thinking coming to meet this man? He wouldn't want me. Nobody did. I was a prostitute. I'd been raped. I wasn't good enough for anybody, especially him. Why did I let Justus talk me into this?

"Barbara," he said again.

I had to leave before he rejected me, because if he did, I would die. It wasn't unheard of to die of heartbreak. I was so sure that I would die.

"Barbara, look at me," he commanded.

I shook my head slowly.

"Let's go inside. The sun is out and its scorching."

"I can't. Please, just leave me alone."

I heard his breath hitch in his throat. I turned around quickly, and lo and behold, he was crying, just like me. I took a few steps forward, staring into those beautiful ocean blue eyes.

He was like a male Barbie. A blonde Ken. He had a perfect body, dark, tan skin, ocean blue eyes and pink lips. He'd grown a beard so that he wouldn't look so boyish. The matured lines in his face also made him look much older. He was tall, really tall, perhaps six three.

"Okay, if that's what you want. But at least, don't deny me the chance to explain to you why I was missing from your life for all these years. You're twenty-two now, correct?"

I nodded. "You remember."

"How could I not? How? The thought of finding you was the only thing that kept me moving. I amassed everything I had so that you would come and enjoy it one day, if I ever found you again."

"What are you talking about? My mother said you left because you weren't ready to have me."

He laughed. The noise grated on my nerves, hitting all those sharp sensitive points that made it quite untolerabe. "We have a lot to talk about, but there's one thing I want to make very clear to you. Beverley is a liar. She's always been and perhaps, she always will be. Now please, come on in, and if you choose to reject me after everything that I'll tell you, I will respect that."

* * *

"So she told you that she wasn't going to have me?"

He nodded. "I was so torn up about it, but there was nothing I could do. I left. Technically, I kicked her out," he sighed, rubbing his forehead. "She moved in with my parents and me when she was sixteen, and we were so in love that we didn't see the problem with that. How silly."

"Wait, she told me that you were a one-night stand."

"Another lie. I was the idiot boyfriend that allowed her to move in. Everything was going great, until she told me that she wanted to get rich quick, and the only way she could do that was by becoming a stripper.

"I refused because I didn't want my girlfriend sleeping with other men, just like any other sensible human, but that was when our problems began. Suddenly 'I didn't make her happy anymore', 'I couldn't satisfy her, she wanted to ride in a Bentley, not my stupid Ford'."

"Sounds just like mama," I laughed maliciously.

"She got pregnant and she said she wasn't going to keep you. I wanted you, but she didn't need my permission to remove you, so she said she was going to. She was already abusing me emotionally and... physically, sometimes.

"People didn't care that she hit me, they would only care if I hit back. Everything just became too much, and her not wanting to have you was the final blow. I couldn't take it anymore. I kicked her out and tried to work on my health. I kept telling myself that you were just a fetus and I'd have kids of my own one day, with a woman who loved me. Beverley kept you without telling me, not because she had a change of heart, but so that she could have revenge on me."

Justus saw my body's reaction to what I was hearing. He hugged me. I was born just because my mother wanted to have revenge on my father. How bad could this get?

My father breathed in lightly, the look in his eyes longing. He yearned to be the one to comfort me, I could tell.

"So you only just found out that she was alive?" Justus asked him.

He shook his head. "No. When Barbie was about a year old, things got too hard for Beverley. She came to me and told me that we had had a child together. I was livid.

"I fought for custody, but she still got you because family court is corrupted with gender stereotyping. I was in law school by then, and I had just one year to go. Unfortunately, I'd spent all my extra money fighting for you in court. I was broke and when I say broke, I mean broke.

"I couldn't pay child support. Beverley wanted me to drop out and use the money for school to support you, but I decided that I would finish school and give you the life you deserved. I told her to go to hers or my parents to support you both while I finished school," he broke down into tears, "and that was the last time I ever saw you two."

"What? Why?" Justus asked.

"The law forces men to pay child support no matter what. We don't even get to check whether the money is being used on the child or the woman is using it for herself, and that's why I wanted my daughter, not just be a money tree for her mother.

"I knew Beverley was going to use the money for herself, yet still, for the first month, I toiled, worked two jobs to make a few dollars for you. When I went to hand the money over, you were gone. She was gone.

"I studied and became a lawyer. I made money, and combed America for you. I didn't find you two. I hired many private investigators, yet only one smart one was able to tell me that you and your mother moved to this country. I moved my life here, but after searching for almost ten years, I found that that 'investigator' was a friend of your mother's sent to throw me off your trail.

"I was already established here so I couldn't move back to America, but I hired more investigators in America to search for you. Somehow, she managed to evade them, but one day they finally grabbed hold of her. It was too late by then. You'd moved out.

"I didn't know you were looking for me too, and you'd come to this country, so I kept looking for you in America. Today," his voice cracked with emotion, "is the second time I've lain eyes on you since you were born."

He was trying so hard not to cry, but his eyes were red already. He lifted his head and wiped escaping tears, but he couldn't help his short, quick breaths.

"How do we know everything you've said isn't a lie?" Justus asked.

As much as I hated that he was meddling, I needed to hear this too.

My father shrugged. "You're just going to have to trust me. I love you Barbie, and I want to spend the rest of my life knowing where you are, knowing that you have enough to eat, knowing that you're happy, knowing that you're safe. If you don't want me in your life, I'll understand."

I knew I surprised them when I asked, "What's your name?"

He did look surprised. "Don't laugh, and I really hope this isn't weird, but it's Ken Winchester. Beverely named you Barbie because she thought it'd be funny. I would've named you Blue."

"Blue?"

"Your eyes. They're so blue, even bluer than mine. Besides, for the brief period I knew you, I could see that you liked the colour."

"Blue is my favourite colour," I confirmed, daring to smile. He smiled back and reached for my hand, and I leaned forward to clasp his fingers. "I look forward to getting to know you, dad."

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family reunions 😢❤ ugh!

vote or whatever, see if i care. 🌟