Chapter 155 - 155 Submission

155 Submission

~ SASHA ~

When that awful, awkward, joyless meeting was over, Sasha was almost in tears, but she swallowed them back and made herself look stronger than she felt as they all began to move towards the doors, Zev and Lhars still deep in conversation with Skhal, apparently debating when and how to gather the hunters that Zev wanted.

Sasha’s stomach dropped at that thought and her steps slowed, allowing the males to leave the building ahead of her so she could have a moment to breathe before she ventured back out and had to smile and greet the people again. She was so happy to see them, and so grateful for their excitement to see her… but she was exhausted and defeated and terrified that she was going to lose her mate to this darkness that seemed to inhabit his skin.

She knew what he’d endured, he’d shown her more times than she wanted to remember. She knew he’d been shoved back into that place by the cruelty and cold treatment of the Anima right on the heels of the humans hunting them. She understood what had happened… but it still terrified her.

Zev wasn’t Zev. He’d become the soldier. The assassin that the humans had molded him to be. And she didn’t know how to bring him back from it.

Zan had fallen asleep again as soon as she’d fed him, which was a relief. He was as tired as she was—though he didn’t seem to settle as well this time, squirming more in his sleep and occasionally letting out a small cry.

She’d kept herself in the corner of the building, swaying back and forth to keep him soothed, not knowing what else to do. Part of her wanted to grab Zev and try to force him to break through this fear and anger that was driving him. But there was a small piece of her that was scared to do that.

If she couldn’t bring him back, how might he react?

She had a baby—they had a baby! She couldn’t let her son be put at risk from his own father. Or worse, what if Zev was right? What if Elreth really wouldn’t ever soften her position? What if the conversation she and Sasha had had before everything went to shit really was just a ploy to get Sasha to lower her guard?

.....

She and Zev had always led together—the one taking the lead who knew the enemy better, or who had the stronger plan. When the humans had been the biggest threat, it had been Sasha who’d taken the lead, journeyed back to her own world and negotiated with the Team. She’d been the one to fool the humans and found a way to get the Chimera out of that prison they called a ‘sanctuary.’

But now… now they were dealing with shifters. And physical threat. Zev had been quick to point out that they were in a land they didn’t know, facing shifters who were so much stronger and didn’t need weapons to kill.

What if he was right—

“Sasha?”

Sasha jumped, gasping, as Kyelle took her elbow. Zan squeaked, woken by her fear, but he just nuzzled her chest, then sighed and resettled.

Sasha waited until his breathing was even before looking up at her friend, blinking back tears. But Kyelle—her brown hair peppered with white strands, not because she was old, but because it mirrored the plumage of her owl that shifted between brown in the summer and white in the winter—just stared down at Sasha’s son, her eyes wide and forehead wrinkled with something between joy and despair.

Kyelle had been experimented on by the humans. She wasn’t capable of having offspring—which was a strange kind of blessing since her mate was a wolf, and their offspring would inevitably be one of the genetically mutated Creatures. And yet…

“He’s beautiful, Sasha,” Kyelle said, a hollow sadness in her tone, despite her gentle smile.

“Thank you. It’s so good to see you, Kyelle. Thank you for holding everything together here.”

Kyelle finally tore her eyes off the baby and back to Sasha, and they embraced again, both of them careful not to squash Zan between them, but gripping each other tightly.

When they pulled apart, there were tears in both their eyes. But Kyelle—never one to dance around an issue—didn’t even address it. She just cleared her throat and held Sasha’s eyes.

“Why are you submitting to him, Sasha? He’s obviously… not himself.”

Sasha shook her head, her vision blurring. “You’re right. He’s not. But… this is the kind of fight I can’t lead,” she whispered, glancing towards the door, wondering if the males were close enough to overhear them. “He’s so scared, Kyelle. He didn’t tell you everything that happened. They really did almost kill him. And he’s… he’s stuck in that dark place where the humans used to keep him… before…”

Kyelle rubbed her arms while Sasha breathed deeply and blinked back tears. This wasn’t the time to crack!

“So… there really isn’t hope for peace?” Kyelle said, her own voice crackling with disappointment.

“I don’t know. I really don’t. I thought… I talked to the Queen before Zev woke up and… I thought… I thought it would be okay. But now… he hates her, Kyelle. And I can’t blame him. She did everything she could to push him back into the trauma of everything the humans did. So now he doesn’t see a difference. He had a… useful conversation with their Captain—who’s working hard, because his mate is Chimera. He wants peace. But Zev… he’s not wavering.”

Kyelle frowned at the door where the men had disappeared, then absentmindedly rubbed Sasha’s arm. “Is he… okay? In his head?” she asked carefully.

Sasha blew out a breath. “I don’t know!” she wailed. “I can’t tell if he’s just got to solve the problem then he’ll relax, or if I’m losing him. Kyelle he’s exhausted but he won’t sleep. He’s seeing an enemy behind every rock. And if anyone confronts him about it, he thinks they’re part of the problem. I don’t know if he can look for peace right now. I really don’t.”

Kyelle sighed and ran a hand through her hair. “I’ll talk to Lhars. Maybe… maybe he can get Zev to see straight.”

“Or maybe he already is? These people… they’re different to us, Kyelle. I don’t know. I don’t know if I’m just misreading the situation or… but it doesn’t matter. This isn’t a war I can fight. I have to look after Zan and I’m not strong enough to fight. This has to be his battle. I have to stand by him.”

Kyelle nodded, but her expression was a lot less certain.

Sasha was just grateful that as they walked out of the building and into the sunlight of the encampment, most of the hovering people had followed the men ahead, so she had another few minutes to breathe.

She was just so damn tired. She knew Zev was even worse, had had even less sleep and even more tension. He had to be asleep on his feet. Yet his gaze was still sharp and he seemed to continue to draw energy from somewhere.

Was it just the difference in their bodies? Was this part of the strength the humans and had bred into the Chimera? Or was her mate going to keep pushing himself until he literally crashed?

Sasha didn’t know. There were too many things she didn’t know. But she prayed that somehow it would all become clear. And that Zev would be leading them in the right direction until it was.