Peeping Sean

HELEN

Quiet.

Quick breaths.

Pounding heart.

I strained my eyes, trying to see through the fogged-up windows.

Sam was out there somewhere in the darkness.

As I rubbed the glass and tried to make out his shape between the trees, my mind started to race, thinking of everything he’d told me about hunters.

How they were expert trackers…

How they were after the bear shifters…

How they wanted to kill Sam…

~Is that what we heard?~

“SAM!”

I swung the car door open. I thought I’d heard something. A voice…a male voice…

With my legs dangling out of the Jeep, I looked around and still couldn’t find Sam. Once more, the night fell quiet.

On the ground lay the shirt I’d ceremoniously tossed from the car window as a show of my faith to Sam.

I clutched up the blouse and started pulling it on.

“You fucking hillbilly!” I heard faintly from the darkness.

It was definitely a voice this time. The hairs on my arms stood on end. My heart continued to race. Suddenly I was freaked.

That wasn’t Sam’s voice.

As soon as the shirt was on, I started running. As quickly as I could in bare feet, I ducked through the trees toward the sound of the voice.

Yes, I may have been running toward a hunter. A hunter who almost definitely would have a gun. But I wasn’t a bear shifter. They weren’t hunting me.

And I’d never forgive myself if Sam was in trouble and I did nothing.

“What are you doing out here?!”

My heart fluttered with relief at the sound of Sam’s voice. His growl was deep and commanding…and very much alive.

Finally, they came into view.

Sam was holding some guy by the collar, nearly lifting him off the ground. The guy was thrashing about trying to hit Sam. He was dressed like the guys in line at the club.

“Dude, I was just taking a leak! Get the fuck off me!”

“You were spying on us, you piece of shit.”

“Sean?” I said, finally recognizing the guy Sam was holding as Chris’s sidekick.

“Helen?” Sam looked at me with fierce concern on his face. “You ~know~ this guy?”

“He goes to my school.”

“Helen, tell your boyfriend Harambe to get off me!” Sean yelled.

Sean pushed away from Sam as he released his grip.

“You’re crazy, man! You can’t just go attacking people in the woods. We’re not animals.”

“I caught this guy watching us,” Sam said to me. I could tell he wasn’t sure what he should do about it: as if the bear wanted to take over, but Sam didn’t want to hurt someone I knew.

“Like I was watching ~you~! You’re sick.” Sean sounded especially whiny.

“Then how come you ran?”

“Because some Neanderthal started chasing me through the woods! For all I know you’re some rapist or serial killer! I mean, you could’ve been a bear!”

Sean’s last comment set Sam off. He moved forward, raising his fist.

“Hey!”

All three of us swung around to find Chris emerging from the woods.

“Chris?” I asked.

“Chris, man! Call the cops! This fucking caveman tried to rape me!” Sean cried, backing away from Sam.

“What are you doing here?” I asked.

“We just saw Emma at the club. We were on the bus but hopped off to take the shortcut back to school,” Chris said. He was talking to me but his eyes were firmly planted on Sam.

~The shortcut. Of course.~

The little park we were in was the fastest way to get from campus to downtown—if you were okay with showing up to the club covered in tree sap.

I’d only taken it a few times when I was ~super~ drunk, and had always smelled like maple syrup when I woke up.

~Mmmm… Maple syrup…~

“Helen,” Sam said, returning Chris’s stare.

“Yeah,” I said, snapping back to attention. My heart sank. Sam had only just smelled Chris on my shirt, and now he was standing across from him, clearly on edge.

“It’s you again.” Chris’s expression changed, breaking the tension as he switched into a casual tone. “Sorry if there’s been some misunderstanding. My buddy’s had a bit too much to drink.”

Chris extended his hand for Sam to shake as a gesture of peace. Sam looked at the hand, his eyes dark and his nose twitching.

~Slap!~

Sam smacked Chris’s hand away.

“This is the guy?!” Sam turned his anger toward me now.

“Sam…” I tried to say something. Tried to explain myself. But there was nothing I could say.

“Whoa dude, look, I don’t know what you guys were up to out here, but my buddy Sean and I were just trying to get home.”

Chris attempted to subdue the situation, but it was no use. I could tell the bear in Sam was close to the surface.

“Your buddy was spying on us and jerking off!”

“Is that true?!” I was angry now and shooting daggers at Sean, wishing I had my pink shitkickers on.

“No way, I was taking a leak and this guy just tried to tackle me or, I dunno, butt fuck me!”

Sam turned back to Sean, and I thought I saw him begin to shift. Bear fur began to sprout along his arms, and I only hoped it was dark enough that the boys wouldn’t notice.

A low growl was building in his throat.

He stepped to Sean.

“Sam, no!”

I rushed toward him and took his arm. As I slipped my hand into his, I felt Sam steady himself, slowing his breathing and reducing his heart rate. The shift stopped before it fully took over, and Sam was back to normal.

There was no telling what might have happened if Sam had fully shifted. No amount of explanation would have satisfied the gossips back at school. Not to mention the damage he could have done to Sean and Chris.

“I heard you were from Bear Creek?”

We turned and found Chris staring intently at Sam.

~Oh God!~

~What did he see?~

“Yeah,” Sam said coolly. “What do you know about Bear Creek?”

Sam’s and Chris’s eyes were locked, staring at each other.

Something passed across Sam’s expression. A strange look of confusion and accusation.

“Not much,” Chris shook his head. “Why don’t we leave you guys to it? Come on, Sean.”

He took Sean’s arm and started walking him off. Although by the way Sean kept whispering to Chris and turning around, it looked like he still wanted to fight.

~Good luck going up against Sam,~ I thought.

Eventually Chris managed to convince him to leave it, and they disappeared between the trees.

I got back in the car feeling rattled and angry.

“What did you think was going to happen if you shifted?!” I shouted before Sam even had a chance to shut his door.

“I wouldn’t have.” His voice was steady but uncertain.

“Bullshit! I saw it happening.”

Sam wouldn’t look at me. Instead, he stared at the steering wheel. I could tell he knew what I was saying was the truth, and he was disappointed in himself.

“You’re right,” he lowered his head. “I thought you were in danger, and it made me crazy with anger. I nearly lost it.”

“You can’t lose it here, Sam.” I ran my hand along his forearm. “This isn’t Bear Creek.”

“No, it’s not.”

Sam turned the key in the ignition and his car sprang to life. Without saying a word, Sam pulled out of the parking area and started driving back toward the main road.

***

“So, that’s the guy then?”

We were back in my dorm room. Emma still wasn’t back, so either she was having a great time at the club or an even better time at some guy’s place.

Sam hadn’t said much to me on the drive back.

I could tell there was a lot on his mind. Me hooking up with Chris was probably close to the forefront.

“Sam,” I said. “I told you I realized I didn’t want it and stopped.”

I got up from where I was sitting on my bed and walked across the small room to Sam, who had taken the desk chair.

I took his face in my hands.

“I’m sorry, okay? But just because you’re upset doesn’t mean you can risk shifting in front of people here. It’s too dangerous for you…and me.”

“You’re right, and you don’t have to be sorry.”

Gently, he put his hands around my wrists. His thumbs massaged the backs of my hands.

“I get it. Maybe that is the kind of person you should be with.”

I could feel the blood draining from my face.

~What is he talking about?~

“Maybe the gap between your world and mine is bigger than we thought.”

“Sam, what are you saying?”

Letting go of my wrists, he wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me onto his lap.

“I love you. But ever since I’ve been here, I’ve felt as out of place as I know you do in Bear Creek.”

I stared into his eyes as if I could glean some kind of explanation from his face.

“What are you trying to say?”

“I’m just concerned that maybe the gap is too wide.”

Sam sighed and ran a hand through my hair. He looked at me with the biggest, most innocent eyes. Full of care and worry.

I let my hand rest on his cheek. “It’s not too big for me.”

Originally, the thought of dating someone from Bear Creek had seemed ridiculous to me. I’d never even wanted to visit the place, let alone commit myself to a relationship with one of its citizens.

And Sam was right. There was a big distance between my life in the city and his life at the Creek.

But it was a gap I was willing to bridge.

I only hoped he felt the same.

I kissed him on the lips, gently and with meaning.

Sam wrapped me in his arms, then lifted me as he stood and carried me to the bed.

We lay down facing each other.

I scanned his face for any sense of certainty, but came up short.

Nothing in his expression seemed to calm the fear that perhaps he was holding me for the last time.

Resolute and remorseful, he stared at me and stroked my hair.

With fear in my gut, I kissed him one last time before drifting off to sleep.

***

I woke up the next morning with little sense of what had gone on the night before.

Yawning, I ran a hand through my hair and rubbed my eyes.

I reached out, feeling for Sam beside me.

~Oh!~

I jolted up in bed.

He was ~gone~!

I grabbed my phone to see if there were any messages… Nothing.

~Maybe he’s just gone for a morning run?~

Then it dawned on me.

~What if he’s not coming back?!~

~No, don’t be paranoid…~

After last night, it was apparent that our two worlds were an odd match. But I was willing to try to make it work, and I was pretty certain Sam was too.

Even though it had only been a split second since I’d woken up, the fear of losing Sam hit me like a freight train. And I realized that I felt more committed to him than ever before.

~If only he’d get back here I could show him…~

I grinned at all the filthy thoughts suddenly chugging through my brain.

~Come on, you big teddy bear. Hurry up!~