Chapter 29: The Secret

1000 reads. Ahhh!! So stoked (lol I sound like someone from the 90s).

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The sound of the blasting TV doesn't allow for any thoughts--most of which are about Kyle--to manifest.

I can't even focus on what's playing. Memories of Kyle with the girl flit through my mind, but I just turn the TV up louder, trying to drown them out.

"Cass?"

What was he doing there? In the whole three years we dated, he never once willingly went to the mall; I usually had to force him to.

"Cass."

And how did he know Autumn? His reaction to her, and her reaction to him, was weird and unnerving; it made me feel weird. Was I still in love with him? Was that it? Was I, after two years, still so caught up in him that the mere idea of him with someone else made me feel wrong?

"Cass!" I jump and look to my right to see Mrs. Brewer standing in the doorway to the living room, looking worried.

"Sorry. What do you need?"

"Did something happen at the mall with Autumn? The both of you have been... off ever since you guys got back."

I shake my head. "No, nothing happened. I think we're both just tired after being there for that long of a time," I joke. My voice sounds different to me, I feel different, but Mrs. Brewer doesn't seem to notice because she laughs.

"Alright." Her eyes brighten and her smile grows. "I have a surprise for you."

"What is it?" I ask curiously.

She looks behind her and nods and three animals come barreling towards me, my eyes widening. I laugh as Pickles jumps on my lap, standing on my good leg, to lick my face, and Zeus and Blue come on either of my sides to stand on their hind legs. Wet tongues hit my face and I can't stop the splitting smile from growing. They seem aware of my injuries, because they're not too rough with me, taking care to avoid my leg and my ribs, despite how excited they are.

They're pulled off of me and I see all of my friends standing in the living room, Aaron, Cole, and Jake holding back Zeus, Blue, and Pickles, respectively.

I grin at them. "What are you guys doing here?"

Gracie grins at me. "Surprise!"

Everyone laughs, and I don't miss the way Gracie's and Cole's heads turn towards each other, and Ricky's and Jake's heads turn towards each other, or the way Aaron stares at me with a smile on his face. I smile back, but it dims when I remember what he told me and what happened earlier with Kyle.

I look away from him and back towards everyone else, smiling at my dogs' attempts to reach me.

And then my parents walk in.

I feel the happy atmosphere evaporate as I see the grim look on their faces.

"We need to talk to you."

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My parents are sitting on one of the couches, and I'm sitting before them in my wheelchair. Everyone else left, going to my house, taking my dogs with them, to give me and my parents some privacy."What is it?" I ask, looking between the two of them. This is not a conversation I want to be having. Especially not now.

Mom sighs. "Cassandra, sweetie, what we're about to tell you is something we probably should've told you a while ago." She exchanges a look with Dad before continuing to speak. "When I met your fath--Bart, I knew he was the one for me. I knew. So, after a year, we got married. And it was the happiest moment of my life. But then, shortly after we decided to have children, the doctors told us that I couldn't have any." My throat closes up. I'm not sure I like where this is going. "My body just couldn't support a baby." She clears her throat. "Bart had a sister, and at that time she was pregnant with a baby girl. But her husband decided that he didn't want it, and he wanted her to get an abortion. She refused, and that's when he started to hit her." I take in a sharp breath and close my eyes, feeling pain for this woman that I didn't even know. But, in the back of my mind, there's a voice asking what all of this has to do with me. "She didn't want to do anything until after the baby was born, so she stayed with her husband, and then she had the baby.

"Her and the baby came back from the hospital and to their house to find it trashed. Broken bottles, glass, the sofas were ripped open. She immediately tried to leave, but he didn't let her. He attacked her, and somebody heard her screams and called the cops. When they got there, they found a screaming baby in a crib, and a man standing over the dead body of a woman." He killed her? "They took him into custody, and they had enough evidence to lock him away for life, but the man pleaded insanity and got institutionalized at a mental hospital. Recently, though, he and his doctors have been making claims that he's sane enough, to the point where he can be released back into society, and the courts have agreed. That's the case we've been working on for the past three months, trying to prove he's not any better now than he was eighteen years ago, but we haven't found anything."

"Okay," I say, my tone slow, dragging out the word. "I'm not sure what any of that has to do with me, though."

Her and Dad exchange another look, and Mom takes another deep breath. "That man, sweetie," she begins. "Is your father." I start to speak, but she continues talking before I can finish. "Because we were the closest immediate family, the court gave us custody of you, and we adopted you. And you were everything we ever wanted, the child we could never have."

I blink. And blink again. And then one more time. "That's crazy. You guys are joking right?" I force a laugh. "Very funny, Mom. You too, Dad." They flinch at what I call them, but I refuse to believe it. "Please tell me you're joking," I beg, my voice cracking as tears well up in my eyes. "Please."

He places a hand on her back and starts to rub as she brings a hand up to her mouth, her eyes shining. "We're so sorry, sweetie. He wants custody of you, and we've been trying to fight it, but we haven't found anything promising. We're so sorry." She reaches out to me, but I wheel my wheelchair away from her, causing her to retreat and start to cry.

My parents... aren't my parents? The people that raised me, the people I've called Mom and Dad for all my life, aren't my parents? Tears come to my eyes. My biological father is insane? He killed my mother? I'm adopted? The sobs coming from my moth--my aunt catch my attention, and I see tears in my uncle's eyes. I want to feel sympathy, want to understand why they didn't tell me, but I can't. All I feel is angry, all I can think about is how angry I am with them. They didn't tell me and now my father wants me to be his kid again? "I need you guys to leave," I choke out, not looking at them.

I feel them look at me in shock, and I know they're hurt, but I can't bring myself to care. "Cass--" she starts, but I cut her off.

"Please, just leave. I can't do this right now."

I close my eyes as they don't move, but then they do, and with every step I know they're taking away from me, the more everything comes crashing down. One of them says something to me, but I ignore it, trying to stop the roaring ocean of feelings causing a flood in my chest.

I can't think. My heart hurts, causing my chest to physically hurt, and I just want the pain to go away, I just want the pain to stop.

I slowly push everything out of my mind, the pain, the feelings, the thoughts, until there's nothing left but me, but I know that I'm not me anymore. Everything in my world has shifted, and this is the only way I know how to deal with it.

I keep pushing it out and locking everything away until the pain disappears, everything disappears, until there's nothing left at all.

If only I wasn't here, either.

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Alright, so Cassie is...dealing with some things at the moment, so there's that.

*Shocked gasp* the secret is out, omg, omg, it finally happened. Yay, me!! Shortly after I posted the last chapter at whatever time in the morning, Resisting The Player reached 1000 reads. Thank you guys so much! I'm sorry this chapter is so short (it's only around 1500 words instead of my usual 2000-2500), but I just had trouble getting my ideas out on to the screen.

So, my new friend just posted a new chapter on the book she's writing, and she, for the first time, included an author's note at the end, and I am proud to say that I was the topic! Yes, me, Rose. She seemed so excited, and so am I, because I absolutely suck at friendships.

So, awesomeness383, I dedicated this chapter to you, my newest friend.

--Rose