Chapter 14: Snow

"Come on, Mom, why not?" I groan as I stand in the kitchen while she cooks dinner.

"Because I don't think that you've shown me that you're responsible enough for another dog, that's why."

She doesn't even turn around to look at me, as if her mind is made up already.

I let out a groan. "I'm not a little kid anymore, Mom, and I really want this dog."

"Why? Give me one good reason why I should get you a dog, and I'll let you get one."

"I want it because Gracie wants it, and I want to do something nice for her. She comes over everyday at five, and she probably wakes up way before that. She's always doing things for me, and now I want to do something for her. I want to be a good friend."

Mom freezes and turns around to face me. "You're already a good friend, Cass. You don't have anything to prove."

Yes, I do.

Everybody else may not see it, but I do.

"I want to do this for her."

Mom stares at me. "You're going to feed this dog, right?" I nod in response. "And walk him and play with him and bathe him?"

I nod all throughout her question.

She considers it. "I'll talk to your father."

Dad's staying late with a client, but he should be home soon.

But I know it doesn't matter what my dad says; the decision is ultimately up to my mom.

You can probably already tell who wears the pants in their relationship.

I turn to walk up to my room, and I'm halfway up the stairs before I turn back around and walk towards the kitchen.

"Mom?"

"Yes, sweetie?"

"I love you."

"I love you too."

---------

Gracie squeals into my ear through the phone, causing me to flinch a little.

"She said yes? She actually said yes?"

"Yes, Gracie, for the fifth time, she said yes."

Another squeal pierces my ears.

"Gracie, do you want to come over so we can talk about this in person?"

Maybe I can prevent my ears from bleeding if she's physically next to me.

"Oh my gosh, yes. But remember we have school tomorrow, so I can't stay over, okay?"

Normally, I would've pushed the issue and she would've stopped talking to me until lunch the next day, but I'm trying to be better, so I agree.

"Okay."

"I'm serious, Cass. I can't stay."

I pull my phone away from my face to shoot it a confused look before I speak into it again. "I said okay, Gracie."

"This is the last time I'm going to tell you, Cass. I. Can't. Stay."

"Okay, Gracie!" I shout. "Jeez, you don't have to stay the night if you don't want to."

"Really?" Her voice is filled to the brim with disbelief. "You're not going to push it?"

"No?" I say. "I mean, you obviously don't want to stay over for the night, and I don't want to force you to."

She's silent and I panic. Maybe I misread her?

"Unless you do want to stay."

More silence.

"Gracie?"

I hear the thundering of footsteps running up the stairs, and Gracie's heavy breathing over the phone.

My bedroom door swings open and my heart races.

What is it with all of the murders deciding that today is the day I die?

Gracie runs through the open door and launches herself towards me, wrapping me in one of the tightest hugs I've ever been in.

"Gracie, you're killing me, I think I broke a rib," I say jokingly.

Her arms tighten even more. "You're a great friend, Cass."

And that's all it takes to make me happy.

---------

"What are you going to name him, Gracie?" Cole asks from the driver's seat of Gracie's mom's car.

"I don't know, I want to wait until I see him," Gracie answers from where she's sitting in the passenger seat.

Last night, Gracie came over and we talked, or she talked and I listened, and then she left.

School was pretty uneventful, mostly because Aaron was barely even looking at me, and because Gabs wasn't at school today.

I don't know why, and it's kind of weird once you take into account that she hasn't replied to any of my texts.

Or calls.

I even sent her an email.

A fucking email.

The things I do for my friends.

Cole comes to a stop at a stop sign before he continues on the road to the Husky breeder's house.

"I feel like he's always driving," I mutter to Aaron.

He smiles distractedly before continuing to look down at his phone.

It's purposely, and pretty skillfully, angled away from me, which is causing a bad feeling to run through me.

I turn to Adrian, who's sitting to my left. "Hey, Frilly."

He looks up from his phone, locking it, and slightly turning towards me to answer. "What's up?"

"I'm bored."

"You're always bored."

I think before answering. "Yeah, but this time I'm really bored. Like, really bored."

He chuckles. "Well, what do you want to do?"

"I don't know."

He's silent as he thinks. "You could go on your phone."

I shake my head. "I already tried."

"How about... you talk to Aaron?"

I clench my jaw. "I have a feeling he's busy right now."

"Okay... what if you... make fun of Cole? You love doing that."

"I do love seeing his adorable little angry face when he tries to look tough..." I muse, waiting for the reaction.

"Hey!" Cole protests from the front seat, causing Gracie to giggle and a grin to come to my face.

Out of the corner of my eye, though, I can see Aaron looking down at his phone, obviously ignoring the rest of us.

I don't know why that bothers me like it does.

---------

Gracie rings the doorbell and a chorus of yaps, along with a deep bark, are heard through the door.

"How am I supposed to open the door with all of you in front of it?"

Something big slams into the door and the lady groans.

"You're bigger than your kids, Zeus, what makes you think I can open the door with you in front of it when I can't with them?"

Another deep bark is heard, followed by a sigh.

"Johnny, the buyers are here and I can't open the door!"

The reply, assumedly coming from Johnny, is muffled, but the lady responds with even more volume.

"I don't give a damn if you're on a conference call, get your ass down here and help your wife!"

Everyone exchanges an awkward look.

A minute later, the yaps calm down, and the door opens.

A full-grown Husky is sitting by the lady's side, staring at us with curiosity.

Gracie lets out an excited help and drops to her knees. "Oh my gosh, he's so cute. Can I pet him?"

The lady lets out a laugh. "Go ahead. I'm Samantha Proctor, and that's Zeus, by the way."

Gracie starts to run her hand over Zeus's head, and he looks up to Mrs. Proctor.

He must have been asking for permission because as soon as she nods, Zeus launches himself towards Gracie, knocking her on her back, and proceeds to repeatedly lick her face.

Gracie laughs as she struggles to writhe out from under Zeus's big body.

"Who's a cutie pie?" she says as she rubs his back. "Is it you? Is it you?"

Zeus barks once at her face and Gracie lets out another belly laugh. "It's you! You're the cutie pie."

Zeus resumes his furious licking, and Mrs. Proctor takes pity on tiny little Gracie.

"Heel, Zeus."

The command goes ignored by Zeus. Apparently, he's too infatuated with Gracie to listen to his owner.

Mrs. Proctor sighs. "He never really learned to listen as a puppy, and I never really had the time to sit down with him or take him to a class as he got older."

"Okay, buddy, I think you're good now," Gracie struggles to push Zeus off of her.

Cole crouches down to help, but Zeus is too big and is moving too much.

Cole stands back up and turns to me, a hopeful look in his eyes.

I roll my eyes-no flick comes-and look down at where Gracie and Zeus are on Mrs. Proctor's front porch. "Zeus."

He stops and looks at me.

I jerk my head towards the door. "Go in there. Don't you have a female that just gave you pups to tend to?"

Zeus reluctantly climbs off of Gracie and walks towards the door with his head down.

He glances back at me with his sad face and whines at me, probably testing my resolve, but I don't crack.

"Inside."

He huffs and trots inside the house.

I admire him as he walks away. He's a beautiful dog, and he's friendly. Granted, he's probably overly friendly, but he's friendly nonetheless. And he could use a few training sessions, but other than that, he's great.

I feel myself shut down at the thought of training. Zeus reminds me of Snow. And I wish he didn't.

Snow was my dog. She was a white Husky with blue eyes, and she was the smartest dog I knew. She still is.

She died sophomore year. Gracie and Gabs probably don't remember her, but I do.

Sunday night, she was there, I went to school on Monday, came home, and my parents sat me down to tell me that she had gotten hit by a car and they couldn't save her.

The driver didn't pay anything when they found him–he had kept driving–and we had to pay for the damage to his car.

If Snow had been a person, a human being, that driver would have been charged with vehicular manslaughter, but she wasn't and he didn't.

I couldn't wrap my head around why.

Why did the driver get to go unpunished? What made Snow less than a person when she was smarter than most?

Isn't that why we think we're better than other animals? Because we can think, and learn, and we're smarter?

I fell into that hole, deeper and deeper, until I thought I was too far down to be saved.

And then I met him.

And then he left.

And I went right back into that hole.

But that time around, I didn't wait for someone to pull me out; I did it myself.

I climbed out of that hole and covered it, burying everything I wanted to forget inside it, and pretended that I was the same, that nothing had happened, for two years now.

I don't know what's happening, but the covering is going away, and everything is coming out, and I can't stop it.

I don't think I can stop it.

Cole helps Gracie up and she dusts herself off. "Thanks, Cass."

I snap out of my rather morbid thoughts and push them away to answer her. "No problem."

I turn to face Mrs. Proctor, finding her with a thoughtful look on her face as she looks me up and down.

I glance down at my outfit, a pair of black leggings and an oversized sweatshirt, paired with a pair of Nikes, and look back up at her.

"What?"

She jumps in place a little, but brushes it off with a smile. "Nothing. Come on in."

She steps aside and I walk through her front hallway, which is covered in picture frames.

Pictures with her and a guy, who I'm assuming is Johnny, pictures with her and what looks like Zeus, pictures of her laughing with Zeus and another dog, a white one.

It's cute.

I enter her living room, and the room explodes into noise.

Short, high-pitched barks come from a pen that's holding at least six puppies.

I can't really tell because they're each clambering over one another, trying to escape to greet the strangers.

Gracie immediately drags Cole over there and they look down into the pen together.

"Look at them," Gracie breathes. "They're adorable. Can I take them all?"

I smile. Of course she wants all of them.

Gracie and Cole open the pen and step inside, shutting it behind them.

They crouch down and start to play with the puppies, who are barking excitedly and giving licks.

"I have to make a call," Aaron mutters as he steps back outside and closes the door.

Adrian looks after him for a couple of seconds before joining him.

And now it's just me and Mrs. Proctor.

We sit down on her couch and watch Cole and Gracie play with the puppies.

"They're beautiful." My voice is soft. "What are their names?"

Mrs. Proctor laughs. "I tend to leave that to the buyers. People like to pick names, and if I name them, I'll get attatched." Her smile turns sad as she gazes at the puppies. "There's only one puppy left, which is the one you guys are here to buy."

She seems sad to let them go.

"If you want to keep the last one we can go somewhere else."

"No," she says. "No, that's alright. We need the money." She's silent before speaking again. "We might have to sell Zeus and Blue, too."

"Who's Blue?"

Her eyes light up. "She's the mother of all these rambunctious fellows. She's sad to see them go, and I don't think she's handling it well."

"Why not?"

She hesitates before standing up. "I'll show you."

She leads me up her stairs and into a room.

On the floor in a corner of the room lays a Husky, who I'm assuming is the Blue that Mrs. Proctor was talking about downstairs.

She's laying on her side with her paws out from under her, and her breathing is slow. Her blue eyes shift from the nothing she was staring at to me, and I have to hold in my gasp.

She looks so much like Snow I have to refrain from throwing myself at her and pressing my face into her fur.

I turn my eyes to Mrs. Proctor. "What do you think is wrong?"

"I don't know." She gazes sadly at Blue. "She barely eats, barely sleeps, barely moves out of that bed." She's silent and when she speaks again, her voice is nothing but a whisper, her face filled with pain. I look back at Blue, unable to keep looking at the obvious show of emotion on her face. "I think I'm going to have to get her euthanized. I don't know what else to do. She won't even look at anybody."

I find that last statement hard to believe considering Blue is stating into my eyes like she knows everything about me.

Slowly, ever so slowly, Blue raises her head and lifts her body off the bed, standing up.

Mrs. Proctor gasps as Blue starts to walk towards me.

I crouch down and scratch behind her ears a little.

Blue comes even closer to me, pressing the front of her body against mine, and lets out a sigh.

I reach my hands around her body and hug her to me, pressing my hands into her soft fur. Her wet nose lands on my neck and I feel her pull air into her lungs.

Her tongue comes out to give my collarbone a quick and short lick.

I look up at Mrs. Proctor to see her staring down in shock with tears in her eyes.

"Take her."

A beat passes before I answer. "What?"

"Take her. She obviously likes you, and I think she'll be better off with you than with me and Johnny. We don't have the money to care for her or Zeus anymore. You'll still have to pay for the puppy but you can have Zeus and Blue."

I shake my head. "I can't do that."

Her reply comes out as a whisper. "Please. Her, Zeus, and the puppy. Please."

I look away from Mrs. Proctor, instead looking at Blue.

Her eyes bore into mine, almost like she's trying to tell me to take her home with me.

I give a little nod of my head. "Okay," I whisper. "Okay."

"Thank you, Cassandra."

Mom's not going to like this.

We head back downstairs with blue trailing behind us, sticking close to me as we walk into the living room.

Gracie's holding the puppy and giggling with delight.

"Do you know what you're going to name him?" I ask.

Gracie shakes her head. "I'd rather wait until we're in the car to tell you."

Because I'm eighteen and technically a legal adult, I sign the transfer of property papers for the puppy, Zeus, and Blue.

After I pay, Johnny and Aaron and Adrian help me put the two dog beds and leashes and toys and stuff into the trunk of Gracie's mom's car.

I turn to Mr and Mrs. Proctor. "How much do you want for this stuff?"

They both shake their heads.

"It's a gift. Don't give us anything."

I smile at them. "I'll bring Zeus and Blue back to visit sometime."

Mrs. Proctor's eyes full up with tears. "Thank you, Cassandra."

As we load into the car and start to drive away, I register that she called me by my full name at least twice and I didn't have a problem with it.

Weird.

"So, what did you name him?" Aaron asks from where he sits next to me

A mumbled answer comes from Gracie in the front next to Cole.

"What?" I ask.

Gracie presses her lips together before speaking. "Pickles."

The puppy–Pickles–yaps at me and escapes Gracie's arms to leap back to me, landing on Blue, who's head is on my lap.

Zeus lifts up from where he was snuggled against her and starts barking with his kid.

The car becomes filled with their barks and I sigh.

Mom's definitely not going to like this.