Chapter 12: Rollercoaster Ride

I swallow thickly before taking a deep breath as I slide into a section of the rollercoaster cart, Aaron slides in next to me, and Gabs sits down in the cart behind us with a relatively cute guy that was in line behind us.

I bounce my right leg up and down, trying to relieve my nerves.

I don't think it's working.

A warm hand lands on my thigh and I just about leap out of the cart.

"You'll be fine, Cassie."

Aaron looks at me and I feel the warmth behind his words course through me as butterflies erupt in my stomach and my heart rate triples because his hand is on my thigh.

One of his warm and soft hands is on my bare thigh.

Why did I wear shorts today?

I wasn't even aware I had these shorts-which barely cover my ass, in case you were wondering.

Warmth travels from his hand and onto my thigh and I stare down at it.

Aaron's gaze follows mine, and when his eyes land on his hand he rips it off and scoots away the tiniest bit.

I roll my eyes at his behavior-what am I, chicken liver-and immediately anticipate the flick.

When it doesn't come, I relax and slowly turn my head to look at Aaron.

He smiles at me before, out of nowhere, he lands a swift, and hard, flick on my nose.

I scowl at him before reaching a hand up to rub my poor and abused nose.

"Jackass," I mutter under my breath.

He smirks and faces front again.

As soon as his attention is off of me and I'm no longer distracted from the inevitable start of the ride, my fingers begin tapping against my leg.

I recognize the song as the treble part of Für Elise by Beethoven.

I didn't even know I remembered the song. The last time I played it was-

I shut down the train of thought before the memories hit.

I've been doing that a lot lately.

I'm connecting everything back to Ky-him, and I'm guessing it's only a matter of time before I start to connect things to her, too.

I don't know what's going on with me.

It's been so long since I've thought about either of them, and I thought I forgot about them for good.

I wish I had. It would be easier that way.

Aaron's left hand entwines with my right, which was previously still tapping away, and sets our joined hands on his lap.

He scoots closer to me, and leans down slightly to whisper in my ear.

"It's okay, Cassie." His breath hits my ear and I shiver, causing him to smirk. "I won't let go."

His mouth is brushing my ear, and the left side of his body is pressed against the right side of mine.

I give another involuntary shiver, and I feel his chuckle vibrate against me.

I pull away to shoot him a glare, but when the cart shoots forward and begin it's slow ascent up the hill, I grip his hand hard and place my other hand on the bar in front of me.

"Oh God, please."

Aaron laughs. "It's okay, Cassie, you'll be fine. Just relax."

I shake my head. "I can't, Aaron, I can't."

We get closer and closer to the top of the hill and the suspense is killing me. Literally. I could die. I feel like I'm about to have a heart attack. Or throw up. Or both.

"I'm scared," I say softly, my voice shaking.

Aaron releases my hand and holds it with his right while his left arm wraps around my shoulders and presses me into his chest, causing my left hand to release the bar and reach around his other side, leeching onto the back of his leather jacket.

"I got you, Cassie. And I'm never letting go."

We drop down the hill, and my stomach jumps up to join my heart.

I let out a terrified scream and bury my face in Aaron's black T-shirt.

I feel him chuckle and he holds me tighter and lets out an excited whoop as the cart twists and makes a sharp turn, making me feel like I could be thrown out of the cart at any given moment.

I shakily laugh at his show of enthusiasm.

"Are you sure you don't want to look?" He has to yell over the whooshing air and the screams of the people behind and in front of us.

I think about it, but I shake my head against his chest.

If I look, I don't know what I'll do.

Probably scream louder.

---------

The ride comes to a stop where it started, where the line to get on his.

Aaron pulls away from me and gets out, turning to wait for me.

I scoot over and swing a leg out.

I stand on my two feet, rather shakily, and stare wide-eyed at Aaron.

"Let's go, Cassie."

Him and Gabs are staring at me expectantly.

I don't think I can move.

My knees feel like they're about to give out on me.

That ride was terrifying, easily the scariest one I've ever been one.

That may be a slight exaggeration, but you know what I mean.

I take a step forward and almost fall, but instead I stumble, somehow landing in Aaron's arms.

He gazes down at me, a worried look on his face.

"Do you need to sit down, Cassie?"

"Think so."

My knees still feel not strong enough to hold me up while I'm walking, but I don't know if that's because of the ride or the way Aaron is holding me.

Our torsos are pressed right against each other, and his large, warm hands, which are pulling me to him, are gripping my hips, my hands resting flat on his shirt covered chest.

His eyes dart to my lips, and my teeth come out to bite my lower lip.

Bad move.

Or a good one, depending on how you look at it. I'm leaning towards looking at it in a good way

Because of our small height difference, he doesn't have to lean down that much, his face already close enough to mine.

I feel him exhale as his eyes lift to mine, searching for something.

Whatever it is, I want to give it to him.

His head comes closer to mine, his warm, minty breath blowing on my face.

I inhale sharply and wait.

I've had my fair share of kisses, but I don't think I've ever wanted one this bad.

I don't think I've ever wanted someone's lips on mine as much as I want Aaron's.

"Please exit the ride loading platform."

I push out of Aaron's arms and walk towards the ride exit.

I take deep breaths as I walk to calm my racing heart.

I can't believe I was going to kiss him.

Just a few more seconds, and there's an eighty-five percent chance my lips would've been on his.

And I wanted it to happen.

"Cass!"

I stop walking, now outside the area where the line for the ride was, and turn towards Gracie's voice to see her walking towards me, Cole in tow.

She stops in front of me.

"Oh my gosh, Cole and I went on the ferris wheel, and it was so fun, we went so high and I saw everything and Cole tried to push me out of the booth thingy, and it was so exciting, you should've been there, oh no, wait, you don't like heights, I forgot." She pouts for a second before the smile is back and she turns to Cole. "You wanna know what I'm thinking?"

She buzzes with excitement as she waits for him to answer.

"I always want to know what you're thinking."

I watch them, holding in my snort.

They're not even dating and he's so whipped.

"We should go buy some cotton candy."

He nods. "I'm paying."

Gracie pouts again. "But you payed for the popcorn earlier."

Popcorn? They got popcorn? And none was saved for me?

Wow, I have awesome friends.

"Yes I did," Cole says matter-of-factly. "And I'm paying for this too."

"Why do you want to waste money? I'm offering to pay, it's not that big a deal."

"Exactly. It's not that big a deal, so stop arguing. I'm paying, and you're going to eat the sugary cotton candy, and you're going to like it."

Gracie's pout disappears as she thinks, slowly replaced with one of her trademark grins as she comes to a realization, one she doesn't share with the rest of us. "Thank you."

Cole sees her change in expression and grins back. "You're welcome."

They walk off together and I start to follow.

Aaron comes to walk by my side, his long legs easily keeping pace with my slightly shorter ones.

I glance at him out of the corner of my eye, without turning my head.

I'm not sure if he's feeling it, but the awkwardness is clawing down my throat, begging to find a way into my brain.

Our silences are never awkward.

I know I've only known him for, what, three days, but in that relatively short amount of time, I've let him in.

I've told him things about me, the things I think about, without hesitation, and he takes it in stride, no matter how weird it is. No matter how out there it is. No matter how embarrassing it is.

We're either always talking about the most random things or not talking at all, but it's always everything but awkward.

Think, Cass, think.

Say something. Anything.

"So..." I say awkwardly.

What the hell is wrong with me?

So?

Out of everything I could've possibly said, I chose so.

"So, what?"

His words show no trace of the awkwardness mine held.

I shrug, the motion feeling off for some reason.

I'm overanalyzing, and definitely overthinking, everything I do around him, and I don't know why.

What changed?

"What's your favorite..."

I scramble for something to day to complete the sentence.

I did not think this through, it just slipped from my mouth.

"Color!" I say suddenly. "Yeah, color. What's your favorite color?"

I inwardly cringe at myself.

He must think I'm stupid.

I'm stupid, really stupid, I know that, but I don't know why I care what he thinks of me.

I've never cared what someone thought of me. It's just not me, not who I am.

And why should I? They're not me and, unless they're a really close friend or family member, they're not going to have any say or influence or impact on my future or my choices.

But, with Aaron, I care. I care a lot.

He makes a thoughtful noise, and I relax.

"I don't know. Probably a really dark blue. Like when it's dark outside, but the sky's not black. You can look up and see all the stars, and I like the stars better with the blue than with the black."

"You like to look at the stars?" I ask hesitantly.

I like to look at them too.

Some nights, when I can't sleep, I climb out my window and lay on my back on a little flat section of my roof.

It's big enough for me and maybe one other person, if we're pressed close enough together.

"Yeah," he nods. "I do. Before we moved, I used to go into our backyard and just...look up at the sky and the constellations. I haven't really gotten a chance to look at them in this house, because I'm still unpacking, but I like knowing that they're there and they always will be, no matter what. What about you?"

"Me? I like to look at them. Except, the grass messes with my allergies sometimes, so I'll go on my roof."

Aaron disappears from my side and moves behind me as we maneuver around a large group of people that most likely came together.

"Your roof?"

I'm not looking at him, but I can imagine the adorable confused look on his face, the one I've seen him make once or twice in class before.

"Yep. There's like a little platform, I guess, right above my room. I'm pretty sure there's one on your house too. But, I'll go up there, look at the stars, and sometimes fall asleep. I always wake up with a ton of fucking mosquito bites, but it's worth it."

We fall into another silence, but this one feels comfortable, normal.

This one feels right.

---------

"My stomach hurts," Gracie whines from where she's sitting in the second row of her mom's car in between Adrian and Cole.

Gabs is in the third row, alone.

Which, honestly, is kind of where she belongs right now; if she was sitting anywhere else I probably would've killed her already.

I don't know what it is with me and wanting to kill people lately.

I turn around to glare at Cole. "Why did you let her eat so much cotton candy?"

"She said she wanted it. I asked her and she said she'd be fine. She didn't tell me she would go on an extreme sugar high and then crash two hours later."

I scowl at him. "She's Gracie. She's hyper without sugar, why would you give her something that's literally spun sugar? Even better, why would you give her so much? Don't you think three buckets is a little overboard?"

He scowls back at me before making a face and turning his gaze to Aaron, who is driving. "Aaron, tell your girlfriend to calm the fuck down."

"You little..."

I unbuckle my seatbelt, still facing Cole, and attempt to leap at him, but a large hand wraps around my waist pulling me back and lightly shoving me back into the passenger seat.

Aaron slides his gaze to me. "Not while I'm driving, Cassie."

I slump in my seat and pout before a devilish thought enters my head, and a slow smile grows on my face.

"What are you thinking, Cassie?" He says it warily, like he already knows.

"Ways I could kill Finny in his sleep and make it look like an accident, also making sure that there's no physical evidence linking me to the crime so the cops can't prove anything." I say it sweetly, my voice the epitome of innocence. "Why?"

A choking sound is heard from the backseat and I smirk.

Aaron chuckles and glances at me quickly before he looks back at the road, a smile on his face.

"Aaron, come on," Cole whines. "Aren't you going to do something?"

Aaron does another quick glance at me and, seeing the smirk still on my face, looks away and speaks quickly.

"Nope, I think I'm gonna leave this one alone, buddy."

"What?" Cole shouts as Adrian busts out laughing.

"Sorry, pal," he shrugs as he presses on the brakes at the stop sign. "But I'd rather not die today."

He shoots me a wink and I suppress a giggle.

Oh, and now I'm suppressing giggles.

Fucking giggles.

It's official: I'm insane.

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What's your favorite type of candy? Mine are the watermelon sour patch kids; the regular ones are too sour for me.

Thoughts or feedback in the story so far?

--Rose