Chapter 29.

*****

I held my breath as I lifted my hand pausing to stare at the brown wood for a second before giving a timid knock on my parents' door.

"Why is he knocking?" I heard Dad mumble.

"I don't know, they've never cared about our privacy before. Maybe he's finally growing up." Paps said.

"He was grown up when he was three, just never knew the definition of privacy." Dad's reply made Paps give a light chuckle in agreement.

"I'm right here... I can hear your gossiping..." I frowned pushing their door open.

They laughed and I rolled my eyes. They were lying on their bed, each with a book in their hand. Paps' head was resting on Dad's lap as Dad leaned back on the pillows stacked up against the headboard. They were both still in their pyjamas, understandable since it was almost seven in the morning. I had been up for a while.

"What do you want, Alpha?" Paps asked, faking annoyance as he dropped his book to look at me.

I laughed as my Dad smacked his mate's forehead lightly before I cleared my throat nervously and climbed onto the end of their bed to sit cross-legged, it instantly brought back memories of similar moments when I was younger. Paps being there was new though, usually he was working. He moved so he was parallel to my Dad and they were both staring at me curiously and slightly worried. I wasn't the Alpha to them right now.

"You alright, Soldier?" Dad asked. I nodded.

"I just... I thought about it and... and I don't wanna keep hurting Karabo so I'll do it... the, uh, 'taking to someone'" I mumbled. It was that, mostly, and also the fact that I was just drained. I was tired in every sense of the word and knew I could not keep being so tense and on edge all the time. I watched my Dad scoot over to me before he ruffled my hair.

"I'm proud of you." I gave another nod looking at his chin instead of his eyes.

"What I... what I said about -"

"It doesn't matter. You were upset."

"That's no excuse," I mumbled looking down between us. "I'm really sorry, Dad. I... I'm so sorry."

I sighed as he hugged me, patting my back lightly before he moved back and was replaced by Paps who patted my shoulder.

"You never were one to think before you speak when you're angry." he said, "I don't expect you to start now. I mean, Jayden hasn't started." I laughed as I watched my Dad's jaw drop behind Paps' back.

"What? Don't start with that. He's the one that messed up." I laughed more as Dad gave me a frown.

"I'll make breakfast," I said.

"I want waffles." I rolled my eyes hearing Danté from his room.

"I want waffles," Dad repeated grinning. Of course he does.

"Oh, and chocolate chip cookies." Danté's voice came from his room again.

"No." Paps frowned, his face twisted in disgust.

"Come on, Corey. It's not like we eat this way every day." Dad said.

"Which means there really is not a reason to eat that way today," Paps replied.

"Babe..." Dad said causing the man in front of me to turn to his mate. I saw Dad smirk before biting his lip and felt a grossed-out shiver run through me at the thought of what they could be linking about. I did not want to picture it.

"Fine." Paps turned to give me a smile.

"You're making cookies too then." Danté appeared behind me.

"What do you think I am?" I asked frowning at my brother.

"The best cook that lives here." he smiled.

"Ah. I am, aren't I?" I smirked. "Come on." I got up.

"But I can't cook, and you're so much better at multi-tasking –" Danté began.

"Feeding my ego isn't going to get me to do everything for you, Kiddo." Tamia couldn't help us because she was at her house with Ashton today.

"Don't call me that."

He jabbed his elbow hard into my ribs before running out of the room. I heard our parents chuckle behind me as I began to run after him but stopped outside of Karabo's room. I listened but didn't hear a sound and figured he was still asleep before I made my way down to the kitchen. I hoped he liked waffles and cookies for breakfast.

Danté and I made breakfast before our parents joined us downstairs and we all ate breakfast without a sound from my mate's room. Paps said to let him sleep but I was beginning to worry that he had left and somehow found a way to trick my pull into leading me to believe that he was still in his room. That was impossible, but this was weird and it filled my chest with a panic that I tried to ignore. I relaxed eventually when I heard the guest bathroom's shower turn on as Danté left for school and Paps decided to drive Dad to work leaving me to clean the mess in the kitchen. Nice.

Once I was finished cleaning up, I stacked two waffles and a few cookies onto a plate before adding a glass of milk onto a tray and carrying it upstairs. I opened Karabo's door without knocking and my shock stopped me once I saw him beside his bed.

"Karabo...?"

He was packing.

"Morning." He glanced at me, "That for me?" he added pausing.

"What are you doing?" I looked past him at the bag on the bed.

"I have to get back home," he shrugged, "Richard – My pack need me."

"I... know, but –" I stopped when he shook his head with a tight, sombre smile that quickly disappeared.

"I know you don't think of me as an Alpha... yet somehow you see me as a threat. Eli, I've never wanted your pack, just like how you've never wanted mine. You know... You're the only person I act the way I act around and towards because when I'm with you, I'm not an Alpha. I'm a different part of me. I'm a stupid kid with a mate that drives everything inside me crazy every time I so much as think of you because that's what you are to me: my mate. But to you... I'm a rival... Just another Alpha... Someone you can't trust, be honest with or... And-and I know, I know you've been through a lot that I don't – I can't understand and I'm sorry, Eli... but you're not letting me in at all and I can't be your punching bag anymore." He gave a dry chuckle, "I mean, I would be but I need to stay sane to lead my pack." he turned back to his luggage.

"What? No, Karabo, wait. Stop! I'm not gonna hurt you anymore. I'm gonna see someone, and I'll fix this. They'll make me strong again –" He turned back to me raising his hands.

"Strong? Eli, I don't care how strong you are. I know you're strong. I can fucking feel it. So am I. You just won't let me any deeper than that."

"It's hard," I admitted. He stared at me dumbfounded and I bit the inside of my cheek. Yeah, of course this was hard for him too. "Um... Small steps." I said more to myself than to him.

"What?" He asked.

"I... I need you to let me fix me before I can try... try to be with you." I explained.

"Of course," he nodded, "you know where to find me." I stared at him shocked and he gave a sigh. "Eli... If I had a choice there's nowhere I would rather be than with you but my pack needs me back at home."

"I understand," I mumbled. But I needed him with me. I understood though. I felt like I needed him close, but did not want him too close...

"Is that for me?" he asked, his eyes shifting to the tray in my hands and instantly brightening.

"Yeah..." I mumbled looking down at the food. I gave a small smile as his lips met my cheek quickly while he took the tray from my hands.

"How are you feeling?" His voice held a cautious edge and I reminded myself that he wasn't asking because he thought I was some fragile Omega.

"I slept more than a few minutes." I said enthusiastically, "I mean... like fifteen more minutes but it's progress." I grinned. His laugh made my grin soften into a genuine smile.

"Good, because your sleep is messing with mine." he frowned taking a step back from me.

"Typical Alpha caring only about those in your pack." I sneered at him. We laughed.

It felt nice to just have light banter with him, and somehow it made me feel less fidgety. He really knew how to distract me... I should be concerned about that...

"You have work?"

"Uh... Not right now." I said. He smiled sitting on his bed and I followed and sat beside him once I put the bag on the floor.

I took one of the last two cookies from his plate and received a murderous glare accompanied by a terrifying, low warning growl before he took it back and shoved it into his mouth. I laughed falling back onto the bed and watched him eat slowly, both of us quiet. Occasionally his hand or his chewing would slow like he wanted to say something, but each time he decided against it and kept eating, that happened until he finished. The atmosphere was slowly becoming more awkward with the silence between us. I sat up and grabbed his arm with a sigh when he mumbled something about taking his empty plate downstairs and then going for a walk. He looked at me as I tugged his arm towards me.

"What is it?" he asked scooting backwards on the bed until he was right beside me, still holding the tray. "Eli?" He gave a chuckle at my not answering his question.

I took the tray and placed it on the nightstand before I lay down and rested my head on his lap letting out a slow, exhausted sigh. His leg felt incredibly comfortable, just being near him was comforting. I shut my eyes feeling his fingers brush my hair gently as he asked if I was alright. It made me clutch onto the fabric on his pants as I tried to breathe past the huge knot in my throat, but practically suffocating on it caused me to swallow which forced the tears that I had been desperately trying to hold back to leak from my shut eyes.

"Sorry." I hissed; mad at myself for whatever the hell this was. I had no idea what was going on with me but I really didn't like it.

He didn't reply and no matter how much I willed and fought with myself to stop crying, I couldn't seem to, the fight was getting incredibly tiring very fast so I gave up and felt a sob escape my throat. I refused to move because if I stayed still and he stayed quiet I could pretend he wasn't there.

*Karabo*

I stared down at Eli, my fingers still in his hair where my hand had frozen once he suddenly broke down. My jaw was clenched tightly as I watched him shake and sob against me. I moved my fingers in his hair lightly, he was shaking too much to notice it. If he had, he would probably have stopped, apologized and left as fast as he could since he was obviously incredibly angry at himself for this.

I stayed still keeping my eyes on him until eventually, his body began to shake less, his sobbing turned into light sniffles and his breathing began to get slower. His fingers' grip on my pants eventually loosened and I felt his body sink against me signalling that he had fallen asleep.

Once certain that he was sleeping, I ran my hand through his hair and onto his neck gently, realising that I was shaking against his skin as I relaxed my jaw. Slipping out from under him as gently as I could, I replaced my lap with a pillow and let out a sigh as I ran my hands over my face before clenching my shaking fist as I tried to calm myself and my wolf down. I cursed as my phone went off and I grabbed it ignoring the call immediately before looking back at Eli. I chuckled seeing that he had not been fazed in the slightest; he looked adorable and peaceful despite the tearstains on his face. I reached to wipe them away, gently clearing his face and wiping the dampness away from his eyelashes. So the secret to making sure nothing woke him up was to make him incredibly exhausted.

I looked to see whose call I had ignored and saw Richard's name on the screen. I turned my phone off. A day wasn't going to make a difference; Rich gave himself way too little credit. He could handle the pack for one more day considering that nothing that bad was actually happening. I trusted him.

I couldn't leave yet. I needed to take care of something for someone I was willing, even eager, to kill for and I was particularly blood-hungry for a certain human at the moment.

*****