Chapter 79

Chapter 79 She was naked on top of William The next day, Doris met William out in a clearing a bit away from the camp. He stayed at a different cabin and she hadn’t seen him since he brought her back to the camp the day before. No one had ventured out to even notice she had been gone, not one person was concerned about her. Only him. She hated how that made her feel inside, as if her heart could stop for him and she despised her own weakness. It was right that he slept in his own cabin. There were more than enough and it wasn’t right for them to share a bed in the first place. She brought clothes that were too big for her and an extra set just incase it ripped off during the process. The last thing she needed was to be wandering around naked because her wolf tore her clothes. He stood with his hands deep in his pockets and his eyes anywhere but her. She tried not to notice how lovely he looked in the color red. It made his eyes look even more blue than normal-if that was possible. She set down her things and went to stand in front of him. “Does it always hurt when you change into your wolf?” “Yes. You just get used to it.” William said. They were far enough from the camp that no one would see or hear them as she attempted to change on demand. At least no one would see her failures. His words though made her want to turn back to her cabin and hide under the covers. But she couldn’t. She wasn’t like that anymore, she couldn’t live her life in fear. She had to control her own future and her life was meant to be lived, not feared. If she now had a wolf inside her, she would learn to embrace it… or try to. “Okay.” Doris took a breath. “What should I do first?” William looked down at her with raised brows. “It’s not about forcing it. It’s about calling it to your will.” Doris furrowed her brow in confusion. “I tried to call it in the snow but it wouldn’t come” “Did you try to call to it?

Or did you try to force it to come?” William asked as he crossed his arms over his chest. “Your wolf doesn’t like to be controlled when it’s new.” Doris stood there and looked around as if the answer would fall from the sky. “How do you suppose I call for it? Just… say her name?” William rolled his eyes to the sky and let out a breath of frustration. “No. You call her from within and let it take control of you. You have to be willing to let her do that.” “Oh.” Doris chewed on her lip. She supposed a part of her had been trying not to let the wolf take complete control of her body. She pushed back even in her darkest times, she didn’t want to lose that sort of control to something she didn’t really trust yet. It was hard to even think of doing that now. Doris took another deep breath and closed her eyes. She could feel her wolf hum inside her as if it was waiting for her to call upon it. The stubborn wolf must have always been listening beneath the surface. It made her resent it a bit more when she realized she knew Doris had been suffering and didn’t once offer to help her. Perhaps it wanted her to come to the decision on her own-but a little guidance would have been wonderful when she felt so clueless. “Keep your eyes closed and speak inwardly to your wolf.” William said by her ear. She could feel him as he moved around her, almost as if her own body tracked him like he was a part of her. She shivered at the sound of his voice and felt her cheeks heat almost instantly. Doris cleared her throat and went for it. “Cordelia?” She asked in her mind. “Yes?” Cordelia responded, it sounded as if she was smirking. Doris tried to keep the conversation in her mind even when her lips parted to answer out loud. “I… give you permission to take control.” “Oh, do you? That’s nice.” Cordelia responded. Doris sighed and opened her eyes. “She’s being stubborn.”

“Our wolves can be bolder versions of ourselves.” William said. He was still behind her. “Call to her, command her to take control and shift.” Doris closed her eyes and tried again. “Cordelia. I command you to take over.” Doris said with a bit more confidence than she felt. She could have sworn the wolf laughed at her and her hands curled into fists at her sides. “You’re not doing it right. Listen to our mate a little closer.” Cordelia said. 23 Doris blew out a frustrated breath and opened her eyes to find him standing in front of her again. “It’s not working. She won’t come.” “She must be testing you. She wants you to be stronger.” William said. He studied her face as if he could see her wolf if he looked hard enough. “It’s not always about asking, she can feel what you want and it’s her choice to answer.” Doris closed her eyes one more time and tried to focus on what he meant. Don’t force her, let her come. But don’t ask either?

Doris tried to find a bit of balance in herself and she knew her wolf lingered nearby patiently. Why couldn’t she have a wolf that actually liked to do what it was told? She felt a sense of calm wash over her as she released a breath. She imagined her wolf stepping into control and allowing her body to become her own instead of staying in the background of everything. Doris allowed her to have the freedom, the power she knew she craved. There was no one to save, not even herself. She just wanted her to come out and see the daylight for once in her life. “Alright…” Cordelia hissed. “If you insist, I’ll come out to play.” Doris felt the shift mimic the feeling from before, but she didn’t ever think she would get used to it.

Not in a hundred years. Her bones cracked, every single one of them. They shifted and formed new shapes that made her feel intense agony as she dropped to all fours. Her clothes stretched and ripped from her back despite her attempt at finding something big enough to last this sort of thing. She supposed nothing she had would last this, would it? White fur exploded across her skin, she felt her legs shift and her fingers fomm into paws. Her screams turned to howls almost instantly, it was as if she no longer owned her own body the second Cordelia stepped in. She whimpered when she realized it worked. His advice worked and she should have been happy but she only felt more afraid. She didn’t want this body, she didn’t want this life. Doris turned to look at William and realized he had shifted too.

His wolf was black as night with bright blue eyes she would never forget. Her wolf was excited to see him, Cordelia hurried to press her nose against his in a sort of greeting and didn’t listen when Doris tried to tell her to step back away from the prince. It wasn’t proper for her to act that way with him, no matter how much her wolf wanted to. Doris forced her wolf away and she heard Cordelia growl inwardly. Doris wanted to shout, but she couldn’t. All that came out were more howls or whimpers. Was she able to speak inside her head as a wolf? Doris didn’t understand how any of this worked, not in the slightest.

Everything just made her even more confused than the last. William watched her curiously and walked around her wolf. She sat still and let him observe her until he wandered into the trees and came out a few minutes later as his human version. He had his clothes on still, thank the moon goddess for that.

“You need to learn how to pull it in and change back. You never want your wolf to have too much control.” Cordelia bared her teeth at William as if she was threatening him. Doris forced Cordelia to go towards the woods so they could change back but she wouldn’t budge. A dark sort of feeling lingered in her mind, she knew it wasn’t her own thoughts that made her feel that way. It was strange not being able to control herself, to have a wolf with a mind of her own that just demanded to be heard even when it wasn’t right. Her wolf jumped on William. He caught her in mid air and fell back into the snow. Once she was on top of him, Cordelia released her hold and allowed Doris to shift back into her human form. Doris didn’t realize she was naked on top of him until it was too late.