Chapter Twenty-Nine

A/N: ^soundtrack for this chapter is 'wherever you will go' by the calling :)

I love that part in the bridge where it's like I'll stay with you for all of time.. gives me the major feels<3

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James was crawling through one of the war tunnels that led to the battlefield. The narrow space had soldiers crawling one behind the other and the air was heavy with the stink of rotten blood. James kept his eyes firmly fixed on the heels of Simon's boots, the soldier who crawled just in front of him; it was easier to control the claustrophobia that way.

'I can't wait for this war to be over,' a man grumbled from somewhere behind them.

Simon glanced back at James and gave him a sad smile, 'if we're still alive by the time it's over,' he mumbled softly.

James felt sad to hear it because he knew that he would stay alive and Simon most likely wouldn't. They had been drafted at around the same time and had become instant friends when they met during training drills.

Simon was sort of different from everyone else James knew, and it made him get picked on by the other soldiers. He had his secrets just like James did. It was something they couldn't talk about at the time but it made them kindred spirits nevertheless.

The tunnel rumbled slightly, causing them to lose their balance a little bit. They steadied themselves and then continued on, confused on whether there had been a minor earthquake. The dirt in the tunnel loosened slightly and sprinkled itself on their helmets.

They continued crawling forwards but James picked up the scent of smoke first, having a better sense of smell than any of the humans. Just as he started to say something, the tunnel was lit in a blinding flash of red.

'It's an ambush!' the soldiers at the front of the line yelled as they were slashed and torn apart. The tunnel started falling in on them as grenades were thrown their way, the dirt falling like rain from above. The explosions killed the lucky ones instantly, the others lost their limbs before they were buried alive in the dirt of the caving in tunnel.

A grenade flew near them and James pushed Simon beneath him, covering the boy's torso with his own body that wouldn't be destroyed in the explosion. Simon screamed as both his legs were blast off in the shockwave. He looked up in horror at James who was somehow still alive and partly shielding him.

'I can turn you,' James whispered shakily. The boy was losing blood fast through his blown off legs and he wouldn't stay alive much longer. Simon was so delirious from blood loss that he instinctively knew what the vampyre meant, all his senses were heightened as he neared his death.

'I don't want to live forever,' Simon's face was tight in pain, 'I'm a sinner and so I deserve to die.'

'That's not true.'

'It is... please allow me to finally rest in my peace. I don't want to be like you.'

James couldn't thrust upon another his own twisted fate. He had asked to be turned so that he may join his sister; but he understood why Simon preferred death over the life of a monster.

'You're not a sinner and nobody deserves this,' James whispered. He wanted the other boy to understand that before he met his untimely fate.

Simon shook his head, 'you don't know the things I've done. The person I am.'

'Loving someone is not a sin.'

It was the last thing Simon heard as his eyes finally closed in the painless escape of death.

~

James convulsed violently, coated in a thin layer of sweat after the nightmare of his memories. It was like he couldn't wake up from it. His eyes stayed tightly shut while his breath came out in short unsteady gasps.

James was conscious but he felt paralyzed. It happened every time he had a nightmare and they were mostly random; but this time his memories had flooded back at the sight of the old war tunnels.

He felt a hand smoothing back the clammy hair stuck on his forehead, holding it up. Its fingers gently stroked his hair till he was able to open his eyes. He saw Andrew's worried face hovering inches above his, the moon casting its blue-tinted light over his usually golden skin.

He looked ethereal in the blue moonlight. His curly hair was darker than ever in the shadowy room but his delicate face was still dazzlingly illuminated as he gazed silently at the other boy. His eyes were alert in his sleepy face and his lashes threw long shadows around his dark pupils.

'It's just a dream,' Andrew whispered, gazing into the turquoise eyes that were so filled with fear in that moment.

James's face was shimmering in sweat and he didn't look quite so human under the glow of the blue moonlight. He looked haunted and anguished by the darkness in his past. His lip quivered and caught itself between his teeth as he tried to stop the shivering.

Andrew's hands cupped tightly around his face as he tried to calm down the shaking boy. He still looked so beautiful even as he was falling apart and coming undone. His eyes were welling up in tears that sparkled and threatened to spill out as he slowly lifted himself up from his sleeping position.

'It's not just a dream,' he mumbled, leaning back slightly against the headboard.

'What was it about?' Andrew softly asked. He wanted to understand everything about the boy who sat before him. Even the parts of him that were dark and wretched.

Andrew's hands had fallen from his face but he still sat close enough that they each felt the soft heat that emanated from each other's foggy breaths. James's was sounding ragged as he vaguely recounted the dream leaving out its gruesome details; he didn't want to upset the innocent human boy who had never known the horrors of war.

'Was Simon..' Andrew hesitated, 'was he your...'

'He was my friend,' James interrupted softly, 'after he died, I decided I would keep my distance from all humans since...'

They all die eventually. It's what they were both thinking but James didn't say it aloud. He looked instead at the human boy in front of him who he'd been so determined to not get close to. He felt like he suddenly couldn't breathe as he realized that the human was mortal; and completely destructible.

Andrew suddenly felt like he was just a very tiny fraction of James's centuries long life. Soon he'd be gone and the vampyre would just move on and find new friends to replace him. A part of him hoped that he would be replaced; he didn't like the idea that James would be lonely again, withdrawing into himself and pushing people away when they got too close.

Andrew glanced back at James and realized that the vampyre's face was deathly pale and wet with tears. His eyes were hollow and empty; and they were fixated on him in a way like James had zoned out and wasn't really seeing him.

James jerked back in shock as the other boy reached out and brushed his tears away with the heel of his hand. He hadn't even realized that he'd just been crying. He had been lost in a desperate moment as he terribly imagined the human boy's impending death. For some reason, he kept replaying a memory of a car crash. A faint recollection of Andrew swerving off a cliff. It was impossible, for Andrew hadn't even been born at the time when cars had existed.

But it felt like a memory. Not a premonition, but a memory.

Andrew's hand hadn't budged from his face even after he'd jerked away. He was holding him so gently as if he thought he might crack; his thumb brushing the teardrops from his eyelashes and the rest of his fingers lightly entangled in the wavy brown locks that fell over his face.

It was almost ironic that the fragile human was holding the powerful vampyre as if it were he who was so breakable.

James felt his lip tremble again at the sweet gesture. He was almost embarrassed about the position they were in, but for some reason he didn't really mind looking so vulnerable in front of this boy. Andrew saw James about to break down in tears again and he had the sudden desire to hold him straight through the night till he felt okay.

'Can I hold you?' Andrew mumbled tentatively, averting his eyes at the awkward question but not wanting to do so without his permission.

James made a strangled sound as he leaned into the comforting touch and rested his damp face upon the human's shoulder. Andrew's arms wrapped tenderly around his waist as he felt the tears that soaked through the thin material of his t-shirt.

They stayed like that for a long time; until the vampyre's shaky breaths slowed to such a peaceful rhythm that Andrew thought he had fallen asleep. The wavy brown locks had been tickling his nose for a while now and to his greatest regret it suddenly made him sneeze and break the spellbound moment.

James stirred awake at the sound and unconsciously ran his fingers down Andrew's t-shirt. He felt that the human's clothes were entirely damp and then seemed to realize he had cried all over his body. And he had snotted quite a bit too.

'Sorry I made you really wet,' he mumbled sleepily.

Andrew tried to keep a straight face as he replied, 'I don't really mind. I think I like my shirt soggy.'