Chapter-52 |•|

Happy to get expected response from you guys, so, as promised, earlier update!

Hope this love and encouragement continue till the end.

Enjoy reading!

Happy Birthday, Elephant

Author's POV

Sitaara looked at Anish and Rishi whose eyes were reflecting pain, regret and sadness.

"Both of you change your clothes and clean your wounds," said Sitaara.

"He is not the man you see. Never break him like we did today. He is...." They both choked and wiped their tears.

"He is thanatophobic and BPD patient," said Anish and Rishi together making everyone gasp.

They sat on the couch waiting for Anish and Rishi to continue.

"Thanatophobia is fear of losing their loved ones, either it be death or abandoning. It developed after Samhith's death. He has had borderline personality disorder since he was 15 years old. But it turned dangerous when his ex-girlfriend, Sanjana left him. Before that, there are a few more things that happened in his life that developed this disorder in him it's better if he says them as they are highly personal. BPD is due to unstable relationships, a few events that happened in his childhood, lack of love and care from his loved ones, Sanjana's betrayal, Anjana betraying Samhith in the worst way, Samhith's death, then Vaibhav uncle's sudden death and Prerna aunty's painful death took a toll on him which developed a fear of abandonment on him. BPD patients fall in love quickly and it happened with Sitaara but it will be short-lived due to their irrational behaviour. He is afraid of that. He doesn't want his love for you short-lived. He wants you in his life forever but he is in constant fear that you may leave him" said Rishi.

"Sitaara you remember him misbehaving with you on engagement day?" Asked Rishi. She nodded while others looked at her confused.

"It was due to his disorder. He many times tried to tell you but he didn't want to justify his act by telling you about his mental condition. When his disorder triggers he acts like a wild animal which happened the same with you'' said Rishi. She nodded with tears.

'That's why he used to say sorry. He didn't mean them. He used to say something but cut off in middle' she thought wiping her tears.

"You remember? Him misbehaving with you when you were obstinate to go your parents home?" Asked Anish. She nodded.

"He was afraid to send you away. He was afraid that you would leave him forever like everyone. He called you many times for every single thing, remember?" Asked Anish. She nodded again.

"He was making sure that you didn't give up on him. He was making him believe that Sitaara won't leave him. Whenever you are away from him only one thing rings in his mind 'Sitaara might leave me'. He started keeping your pics everywhere to make him believe that you won't leave him and will never give up on him" said Anish.

"He always wanted to take your relationship to next level so that a baby from you both will make you live with him forever but he didn't want to cross your comfort zone. But when his fear of you abandoning him intensified, he started making a few moves as he can't say about his condition or can't ask you to take this relationship to next level as the situation you both got married in wasn't like a normal wedding. The other day when you ignored him, that rejection triggered him badly, very badly which made him behave like that. When you called him 'molestor' usually he would have reacted more wildly but his love for you started winning there, Sitaara. His love for you made him calm down little which didn't let him act wildly. He was away from you because he didn't want to hurt you and he was hurt by your words and he was afraid that he may harm you as he did earlier biting your neck harshly like an animal. I wanted to say this then but Aastha shouted at me not to defend him. I understood no one are in condition to acknowledge his disorder, so I kept mum" said Anish and wiped his tears.

"Aunty must have told you that he never co-operated with any psychiatrist..right? That's because they used to say his mental condition which he never accepted and used to behave wildly and self-harm. We used to attend sessions with him and came to know about it. We requested doctors not to say anything to Chowdary's as we wanted to handle it without letting anyone know his disorder because he used to behave impulsively if we say that, so we kept it out of everyone's reach" said Rishi. Sitaara remembered Sakshi telling her about changing many psychiatrists which didn't bring any changes in him though.

"His life made him so much insecure that he was sacred to live, he was scared of death which eventually developed thanatophobia," said Rishi.

"He used to hate himself, Sitaara but your presence made him love himself. He used to live alone and stopped hanging out with us or his brothers and sisters as he believed that getting hurt when they leave him is better to stay away. This disorder of him wants his attention and your attention was all he needed the most that's why he wants you to select his outfits, make him wear a coat, be around him when he is at home, serve food for him, his anger at Dhruv when you used to be close with him, his anger used to reach peaks when you are with Vikram. According to him, as Vikram is not committed to anyone and is close to you, he may take you away. That's why he once misbehaved with you when Vikram came back from the business trip" said Rishi. Sitaara nodded and she remembered him smashing the phone on the ground after his talk with Rishi about him being fine, touching her upper body without her permission.

"How do you guys know that happened in our room? He told you both?" Asked Sitaara.

"Few he told us but most of his we came to know through his treatment. The doctor used to record every session which we heard to know his behaviour" said Anish.

"He never admitted that he is a BPD patient until you came into his life, Sitaara. For you, he wanted to be fine, for you, he wanted to be the best and he started attending sessions. Before that we used to make doctor visit the same club he visits, the doctor used to visit the same club as customer and used to talk to Abhi. He used to befriend him and talk to him" said Rishi.

"That's why he didn't want to marry anyone. He was afraid that he may pull his partner into darkness. Usually, BPD patients don't have a stable relationship which leads them to cut off the relations. He didn't want Sisira to get into it and when she ran away, it turned out to be you which was much more scared as it may hurt you. He had a crush on you since you were a kid and he thinks we don't know that, so he is scared to make your trouble marrying you because you used to look lively girl" said Rishi.

"Abhi is a very good man, Sitaara. He is a gem like you call him Mani (gem). He is a rare gem. He loves you so much that the thought of you away from him is choking him, having anxiety and panic attacks" said Anish.

Sitaara cupped her mouth crying.

"We didn't tell you to make you accept him, Sitaara but his condition is getting serious. His fear of you leaving him is intensifying each passing second and you need to know and act accordingly so that he doesn't harm you which can lead to misunderstanding" said Anish.

"Why didn't he tell me about this before?" Asked Sitaara. Rishi and Anish chuckled humourlessly.

"Initially he wanted to tell you but your care, attention, love for him which is new to him stopped him. He tried to stay away from you and then tell you about him but you took care of him even then. There he started falling for you deeply as even after pushing you away you came to him, at this point he stopped himself from telling you and decided not to tell you ever. Because usually partners of BPD patients partners leave them due to their behaviour and even Sanjana kept him far away after he told her about this and he didn't want this in your case" said Rishi.

"Only God knows how he handled himself when you rejected him in his office. Even his doctor was shocked badly. It was like 8th wonder. His love for you won again, Sitaara. It defeated his disorder. He was calm and composed which is unlike his behaviour. His disorder has to overrule his mind and actions but his strong will to not hurt you made him a sane person" said Rishi.

Sitaara smiled with tears.

"I will never leave him. It's not because I came to know his past, I already decided to never leave him and his love for me is holding me back" said Sitaara smiling. They smiled back with tears.

"Why were you guys fighting?" Asked Sitaara.

"Nothing! It's common. Now, don't disturb him until he comes back himself okay?" Asked Anish. They nodded.

After some time, Arjun and Riaan came back. She told them everything. Riaan gave a knowing smile as he knew this thing of Abhi while Arjun cried.

"I can't believe Anna had a girlfriend," said Naman. Sitaara smiled.

"He used to harm himself in the gym many times but we didn't expect that it's because of this," said Dhruv.

"Years itself ago, I doubted my brother had a crush on you, Situ," said Aarya.

"I know. He told me indirectly when we went on our first dinn...date" said Sitaara smiling.

"Now, I understand why he always makes you stand with him in Vikram's presence and used to glare at him all the time" said Arjun chuckling.

"That bastard! I will kill him for ruining our reunion. Am not gonna talk to him for sure" mumbled Sitaara.

"Because of this disorder, he doubted my intentions towards you, Vadhina(sil)" blurted out Dhruv thinking deeply.

"What?" Yelled Sitaara.

"Nothing.. nothing," said Dhruv as he don't want his sil to misunderstand his brother.

"Tell me, Dhruv" demanded Sitaara.

"Nothing. Am going" saying this Dhruv stood up to leave but Sitaara pulled him back by his shirt.

"Spill out the beans," she said dangerously. Dhruv closed his eyes.

"He doubted my intentions towards you and closeness with you. He warned me to send to another state for my L.L.M if I have other feelings towards you. It's because of this disorder. He didn't mean anything, Vadhina(sil). Please don't leave him. He cried for you that day scared of you leaving him. Please think wisely, he didn't doubt you. It's just he was insecure because of me but it's fine now. He understood me and you" said Dhruv. Sitaara sat silently remembering all the things that happened with him.

"I found peace in you. I felt I have a person to stand in my rough phase. I felt a motherly feeling when you caressed my hair. I felt protected, taara"

"I know we both hate each other and feeling all these is completely strange, taara but it's true"

"Am sorry for my earlier behaviour. I didn't mean to behave like that. It was out of my control due to my di...due to my anger. I didn't mean those words. Please forgive me, am sorry"

"Don't talk about death, Taara"

"Am sorry, I just can't control my temper but I'll try"

"It's okay. Am not angry at you at all. Please stop crying and I guess I deserve this small punishment for questioning a woman character the other day''

"Don't be sorry, Sweetheart. Though am arrogant I don't hesitate to admit my mistake and receive punishment and I'll take it as a punishment for that incident that happened on engagement day"

"I'll even stay hunger if you don't serve me and as you didn't serve me now, I dragged your plate. I don't why but it fills my stomach satisfying my hunger when you serve me"

"I didn't do that. It wasn't me, taara. Please don't leave me for this. I promise I won't do it again"

''Anything about you isn't a small issue for me, Taara. I can't bear seeing you in pain''

"Don't ever leave me please. Am begging you"

"I have you. You release all my tension with just your smile. I don't need a cigar to free my sour mood, just stay beside me"

"Please don't leave me. I lost many things in my life. I don't want to lose you, Sweetheart"

"Baby...Sitaara... please promise me you won't leave me making me alone again"

"Am sorry for behaving like a jerk and beast to you. Now, think practically sweetheart, how can I stay without you? Though it's for two days? You made me very lazy looking after my need and I need you in everything"

"I love you, sweetheart. I don't lust you. Please don't judge me based on a few things, love. That's.. that's not me, baby. The real Abhimanyu loves you, he fucking loves you, baby, respects you, cares for you, make your comfort his priority, his heart beats for you and you are his lifelines"

"Am not a man this world know. I have a mysterious side that is even a mystery to me sometimes. I never had a peaceful life until you came into my life as my wife. Peace is like a forbidden thing in my life. Am tired of running behind it, when I found my peace in you, even you want to leave me"

"Never question my love for you, sweetheart. The depth of love I have for you, makes you drown both in happiness and pain, it chokes you to death yet provides you with the warmth and assurance you need to survive, it pushes you in dark yet makes you feel the beautiful thing you never felt all your life, it will be challenging and also helps you to win, it hurts you to an extent where you can't withstand looking at yourself and also it makes you feel ecstatic to love yourself more and more. My love for you is toxic yet beautiful. But you can't say my for you isn't real because I told you it can be toxic too... it's just you don't know me completely...what you see isn't real me...am still mysterious, that can't be solved... am mysterious I don't want to discuss about"

Sitaara remembered Abhi's words since they met. Her eyes filled with tears understanding how much he wanted her but couldn't say that. She came out of her trance when Naman spoke.

"What might be his past which is still a mystery? Why did he develop this disorder?" Asked Naman to no one in particular.

'I'll ask him. Now, my Mani has me. He doesn't need to get scared more. I'll pull him out of that shell he is hiding' thought Sitaara.

**

At night,

Abhi was sitting on mud drinking and smoking alone still crying for what happened in the morning. Suddenly he felt a presence on either side of him. He smiled internally knowing who it could be.

"You know, we love you" cooed Anish and Rishi.

"But we three have wives," said Abhi chuckling. They chuckled too and Rishi and Anish lit a Cigar and held it out for Abhi after taking a puff.

It's their way of saying sorry. If one wanted to apologise for the other, instead of saying sorry they lit and share the cigar, if the other accepts it that means he accepted their apology.

Abhi looked at two hands that had cigars in them. He looked at them with tears. Tears were flowing down Rishi's and Anish's eyes. Abhi smiled at them and took the cigar from both of them giving them his as if apologising to them and drawn in from both the cigars at a time. Trio hugged each other happily.

They didn't speak any words, just enjoyed the waves sounds with their company.

"We understand you, Abhi. We were just scared that your love for Sitaara does not turn toxic in her pov" whispered Rishi.

"We didn't judge you, Abhi. We just wanted to say that you have to handle both the issues neutrally without hurting yourself and Sitaara" said Anish.

"I know. You, Rishi, Samhith and Anika can never judge me. I should have behaved maturely. Indeed, Vikram didn't bother much, I shouldn't have done that. Please forget the words I told in anger" said Abhi.

"What did you say? What happened between us? Huh? Ani do you remember anything?" Asked Rishi as if pretending that he forgot everything. Abhi chuckled.

"I don't remember anything. Do you, Abhi? Asked Anish.

"Yeah! Even I don't remember anything. We can never fight or else Samhith would throw a thunder on our heads" said Abhi chuckling with tears. Anish and Rishi too had tears looking at the sky.

"Ahem..." they heard a throat clearing sound. They titled their heads and saw Sitaara. They smiled.

"My dear brother in law, Rishi and dear brother, Anish, can I borrow my husband for some time?" She asked.

"Sure!" They both said and left from there. Abhi put both his palms on sand supporting his body on them and looked at Sitaara smirking eyeing her from top to bottom.

"My eyes are up here, you pervert" she scolded.

"But the view is at the bottom," he said smirking. She blushed and directly sat in his lap resting her cheek on his chest. He wrapped his hands around her waist.

"You didn't have anything since morning" she mumbled. He hummed.

"How can you leave me alone there? Huh?" She asked pouting. He stayed silent.

"You know I always wanted to have my honeymoon at the Maldives" she whispered burying her face in his chest making him shock at her words.

He lifted her face and brushed off hair strands off her face. She was looking red like a tomato. He chuckled and pecked her forehead.

"Shall we go then?" He asked.

"We are on a trip already. You have so much pending work" said Sitaara in a whisper biting her lower lip.

"It's okay!! Naman will handle work here. And, I will attend meetings virtually if my presence is needed" he whispered. She hummed hugging him, blushing, resting her chin on his shoulder. Her phone pinged. She saw a message from another private number. She opened it and saw her's and Abhi's picture of their current positions. She looked around but found none.

'Don't look around darling! You won't find me' her phone popped up with this message.

Her eyes filled with tears. She doesn't know what she has to do. She can't tell her friends or Abhi or her brothers too. She doesn't want to risk another family.

"Sweetheart" Abhi called. She pulled back and looked at him. He pointed at the sky making her look at it. She turned her head at the sky and saw hot air lighting balloons in the sky forming into a sentence with colourful crackers adorning the dark sky in the background.

Happy Birthday Sweetheart,

Sitaara Abhimanyu Chowdary

Her lips parted with shock.

"Happy Birthday, Sitaara Abhimanyu" he whispered in her ears. She hugged him in excitement.

"Thank you. Thank you so much. I just forgot that it's my birthday. Thank you Mani" she said hugging his neck tightly.

"Happy Birthday Sitaara" she heard multiple voices. She lifted her head and saw hers and Abhi's whole family. She stood up immediately as she is in his lap. Abhi too stood up. She ran to her father and Father in law and hugged them.

"Happy Birthday, Situ/ Sitamma," they said and kissed her forehead.

"Thank you" she whispered smiling.

"You forgot us?" Asked her mom and mil. She shook her head in no and ran to them. They wished her and she thanked them. Later all the elders wished her.

"You need all this? However, we brought you from the dustbin near the end of our street? Abhi Baava (bil), you are wasting your money on this girl" said Ved. She punched his stomach.

"Even on my birthday you are hurting me," she said and pouted. Ved chuckled and pulled her in a hug.

"Happy Birthday, elephant" he whispered.

"Thank you, donkey" she whispered back giggling.

"You all guys have come here for me? That too to Goa? Like seriously? With all these oldies?" Asked Sitaara.

"We are not old" yelled elders.

"Yeah! They just entered teenage with hair colour on their grey hair" said Dhruv his rolling his eyes. They glared at him making him hide behind Naman.

"Your husband asked us to come here," said Dev.

"Goa? Mani, you asked them to come to Goa?" Asked Sitaara.

"I planned in other states but these oldies were more excited to visit Goa more we youngsters," said Abhi with an innocent look.

"We are not oldies. You are. You are 28 now and will soon turn into 29 in the next 4 months" said Sakshi pushing out her finger.

"Athamma (mil), mommy, aunts, how can you guys come here? What about your husband? There will be many more women looking sexy. What if they hit on your husband? What if your husbands hit on them?" Asked Sitaara in a whisper.

"Beta, Sitaara, we have come so far dragging our nearly 30 years of marriage life peacefully without any fights and please, you don't ruin it. Look at Anjali, she is already imagining me with a lady" said Suman. Sitaara laughed.

"Don't worry, we, kids are here for you. We won't let your husband's even look at other women" said Sitaara.

"What about your husband?" Asked Anjali. Sitaara smiled and walked to him. She side hugged his torso.

"He won't even look at any woman other than me even if I ask him to. He is a gem. My gem" she said confidently. Everyone hooted.

"I love you" he whispered. She smiled.

"I know you do" she whispered. He pecked her forehead.

Suddenly crackers started bursting into the background again. They all turned towards it. Abhi hugged her behind resting his chin on her shoulder and she leaned to his chest.

'I love you too, Mani' she thought smiling.

***************

How was the chapter?

Abhi's disorder! Now, you all might have understood why he used to behave like a jerk sometimes.

Sitaara's birthday!!

Precap:- Birthday celebrations.

Surya.