Chapter Forty One

"What made you change your mind?" Tay asked as soon as he settled in the seat beside me.

"Huh?" I glanced at him in confusion before starting the car again.

"About this job. You didn't seem happy about it." He explained.

"I thought about it and decided we can do it until we get a better job somewhere else." I shrugged.

"That's exactly what I said."

"Yeah." I answered vaguely. Already distracted by my phone placed on the dashboard as I waited for Marco's next update.

I had heard nothing new about Nicolas since I left other than the few reassurance filled texts I had received from Marco. Though the texts were vague and I was still on my toes worrying about him, I was trying my best to not be obsessive about it. I knew it wasn't going to help anyone yet every now and then my gaze would wander off to the screen, waiting for it to be lit up with Marco's name.

Tay clicked his fingers right beside my ear and I flinched before frowning at him.

"I asked how is it going with your lover boy?" He narrowed his own eyes, waiting for my reply.

I blinked back to reality and faced the road again. "His name is Nicolas."

"I honestly forgot." He shrugged and I tightened my hold on the steering wheel. "So? How's it?"

"Good." I lied, gritting my teeth.

"And how's grandma?" He extended his hand toward the radio and I sighed.

"She's okay. How are your parents?"

He paused his hand in his tracks and I stole a glance at him.

"Tay?" I asked just as he started moving his hand again.

"Yeah, they're fine."

His sour expression said otherwise. "Sure?"

Tay nodded, blatantly struggling to shift his focus on the radio in front of him.

"I'm here if you want to talk about something." I supplied when his expression didn't change.

"I know."

~~~

"Are you going to stare at your phone all night again?" Tay asked and quickly picked up my phone from my lap.

I didn't even try to get my phone back from and instead slumped further into the couch. Closing my eyes, I struggled to contain my emotions. It had almost been a week since I left and while I talked to grandma and Marco almost everyday, Nicolas still was in no condition to do so. It was the longest we had gone without talking to each other and it was starting to take its toll on me.

"Did you two get in a fight? Even if you did, why can't you call him first?" Tay suggested and I wished if only that was the case.

I shook my head, not knowing how else to explain what exactly was happening.

Tay sighed and poked my arm. "I'll call him. Unlock it."

"We aren't fighting, Tay. He just can't call right now. We'll be fine. Don't worry."

"Fine?" He let out a long exhale. "You look like a zombie right now. When was the last time you slept throughout the night?"

"It's the work stressing me out, not him." I lied again, keeping my eyes closed to avoid looking at him.

"You can fool your grandma with that, not me. We might not be working on the same project but I know that's not the case."

I stood up quietly, heading over to the desk in the corner. "I'm fine. Just go to sleep, okay? I still have some data to go through."

"I'll help you with it." Tay followed behind and adjusted the chair beside me.

"I will do it. You can sleep."

He shook his head, already occupying the chair beside mine. "It'll be faster. Come on."

Sighing, I emailed him the data. "Check this for outliers before processing it."

"So? Why can't he call you?" Tay asked after we both had been clicking away on our own laptops for almost an hour in silence.

Choosing to ignore him, I pretended not to hear him.

He bumped his shoulder against mine. "Oh, come on. I'm just wondering."

"He's not feeling well." I uttered under my breath.

"As in physically? He's ill?"

From the corner of my eye, I saw him looking at me, so I nodded.

"He's in hospital then?"

I nodded again.

"Makes sense." He whispered under his breath before turning to look at me again. "It's not something serious, is it?"

His question made me realize that I truly had no idea about it. "I don't really know."

"Why don't you call him here then? Jaursen is famous for its medical care."

I hesitated for a moment, figuring out how to answer him. "He's with his family. They're taking care of him."

He let out a sound resembling an 'oh' before focusing on his work again. "I thought I'd be able to help if it was just a fight. I'm sorry."

I shook my head. "I get it. You're just worried about me."

"Is there nothing we can do?" He asked a few minutes later.

"No, I don't think so."

He rested his hand on my back and gave me a pat. "He'll be okay."

"Yeah…"

~~~

"Have you had lunch yet?" Raymond's words startled me, snapping me out of my thoughts.

"No, not yet." I answered, instantly switching my gaze back to the screen from my phone.

"Everyone else has already left. Aren't you hungry?" He took the seat beside me and rotated the chair to look at me from the side.

"I- no, I still have some work left." I pointed toward the random window on the screen.

Without even looking at the screen, he got up. "That can wait. Let's go grab a bite."

I shook my head, still not looking at him. "I really have to finish this."

He let out a chuckle. "Says who? I'll extend your deadline. Don't worry about it."

Despite my obvious discomfort, he didn't stop trying until I had no choice but to agree. Just as I stood up, he stepped aside, gesturing with his hand for me to walk ahead. I tightened my grip on my phone and took a few reluctant steps before I heard him following me.

"You seem to have lost weight. Is everything okay?" He questioned just as we entered the lift.

"Everything is okay. Thanks for asking." I answered from beside him.

I heard a loud laugh before he spoke. "You don't have to be so formal with me."

When I didn't reply, he spoke again. "Actually, I have been wanting to apologise to you."

My gaze snapped to him in surprise and he gave me an embarrassing smile.

"On our first meeting, the only reason I hugged you was because I thought that'd be more appropriate given that I'm only two years older than you. And I have never really liked handshakes, so I just thought most people my age would think the same." He ran his hand through his dark brown hair which reminded me way too much of Nicolas' and I averted my gaze right away as I felt a stab of pain in my chest.

"I'm sorry I shouldn't have done that. And now that we're colleagues, I don't want you to feel awkward around me." He ended just as the lift's door opened.

"There's no need to apologise. I understand." I hurriedly answered and quickly stepped out of the enclosed space to clear my head.

Everything about him seemed to have kept reminding me of Nicolas since I saw him again. I had been avoiding him like plague so far but now that he had taken the initiative to talk to me, I had no other option but to keep reminding myself that he wasn't Nicolas. He was nothing like Nicolas apart from the obvious similar physical features, but the fact that I had to keep reminding myself that was starting to scare me.

My gaze stayed stuck on my food while I heard him chatter away. I had no idea what he was even talking about or even what the food tasted like, my body almost seemed to be working on autopilot. My hand kept spooning food in my mouth frequently while my head nodded on its own every now and then. All the while my mind continued to wander back to Nicolas.

"Blue?" His sudden voice snapped me out of my thoughts.

"Yeah?" I asked, barely lifting my head to look at him.

"You okay?" His eyes wandered all over my face and I lowered my head again.

"Yeah, yeah. Sorry what were you saying?"

"Um, I was wondering if you…" His faltered voice made me look at him. He ran a hand through his hair before meeting my gaze. "Are you liking working here so far?"

His blatant hesitancy and nervousness made me doubt if that's what he wanted to ask for real. Nonetheless, I nodded.

He grinned embarrassingly and picked up his fork again. "Let me know if there's anything I can help you with."

"Thank you."

Soon he directed the conversation toward our family members. He told me about his parents. Both of his parents were lawyers and stayed pretty much absent in his life since he was a kid. When it was my turn to talk about mine, I hesitated.

He waited for my answer and I tried to decide how much I was willing to share. Once decided, I let out. "I lived with my grandma."

"Your parents?" He asked, picking up his fork.

I shook my head, letting him know I wasn't about to say anymore.

His smile faltered and he put down his fork again. "No one else? Girlfriend or something?"

By now I had understood what he was trying to figure out. Maybe I wouldn't have told him if he hadn't been so sorely obvious but much to both of our dismay he was.

I forced a smile on my face, ignoring the discomfort I felt. "I do have someone."

Disappointment was clear as day on his face. His eyebrows furrowed and he shifted his gaze back to the food while letting out an 'oh'.

I was glad for the quiet that followed despite the fact that the atmosphere had turned painfully awkward and I couldn't have gotten away from him fast enough. Fortunately, there weren't anymore prodding questions for the rest of the day at least.

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