24. | whispering endless promises

Complications.

Life is full of them. Mine seems to be completely persistent of complications. And the worst part is, an annoying voice in the back of my head keeps telling me that this is only the beginning. There's so much more. There has to be.

"C. 3576 A..." Lexi reads out loud while staring at the crumbled yellow post-it I accidentally found yesterday.

"Are you sure this is her writing?" She hands the piece of paper back to me as we continue walking down the hall. Cole made sure to double check tonight isn't my father's night shift, so we can roam around freely without the fear of running into him again.

"Yeah, positive." I mumble while I fold it and put it back in my phone case.

If it didn't have any value to my mother, she wouldn't have taped it to the back of a picture. I wonder if it's a hustled zip code, or some other locked environment I can only enter with this code.

"I'm going to grab myself a coffee and eat something." Lexi interrupts my thoughts, "Want some too?"

"I think the bags under my eyes already have the answer to that." I smile as I point at my under eyes. I can't remember the last time I've had a proper night of sleep without waking up at least 5 times. "I'm not hungry though. I'll just drink coffee in my office and see you after that, yeah?"

"Sure, I have to make a phone call, I'll see you later tonight." She replies with a smile as she starts walking towards the canteen humming to herself.

I head towards my office, I'm behind on some work and I'd rather get that fixed before Cole manages to get Ethan to me. Maybe he'll even wait till tomorrow morning, it depends on if he can come up with a worthy excuse. The fact that he's a very respectable guard has made these months, all these secret meetings and official conversations, so much easier. We would have never been able to without his help.

"Brooklyn?" Reed's voice startles me. I turn around to meet his eyes staring down at me.

"I need to talk to you." He mumbles, both worry and fear evident in his softly spoken words. He joins me as I start walking through the hallway, getting closer to my office.

I don't even remember when I've seen him for the last time. He's not much around lately, almost looking like he's purposefully avoiding any human interaction. "To tell me the entire story, no more secrets?" I remind him as I arch a brow.

He comes to a halt. "I'll try my best."

"That's not enough for me," I sigh, "I need you to promise me to tell the entire truth. I've got no more time to lose Reed, it's now or never."

"Please, I just need you to hear me out." He pleads, now standing in front of the door to my office.

"Fine."I fold my arms across my chest. "But not tonight, not here. I'll ask Cole if he's available tomorrow and the three of us will meet up. Or I'll ask Lexi, she'll most likely have the time."

"I want to speak with you, alone." He chews his bottom lip, giving away his nerves while still blocking the access to my door.

I fight the urge to shove him aside and purse my lips. "Look, Oliver or Reed or whatever you want me to call you." I unfold my arms before I continue. "I'm just really not in the mood for this. You told me you needed time before telling me your story. I gave you time. Now, I need you to tell us, but I don't want to be alone when you do it. I'm tired of you trying to brainwash me into somehow disliking Ethan." I point at his chest, "you and I both know I'm not listening to that bullshit anymore."

"You really don't get it, do you?" He raises his voice, taking ahold of my shoulders as if towering over a child that needs a talk. "I don't want anyone there when I tell y—,"

His shoulders stiffen midsentence at the sound of a cough to our right and I follow his glare to meet the source of the sound.

My eyes meet Ethan's for a mere second, until he looks next to me to send daggers to Oliver.

"That's enough now, don't you think?" He visibly clenches his jaw, the way he does when his anger is increasing. And by the way he looks this time, I know it won't take long for him to completely snap.

"I'm trying to help here," Reed bites back at him, "Stop telling me what to do."

"Oh yeah?" Ethan chuckles darkly, "You think you can still help, after all this time?"

I glance between them nervously as I watch the scene unfold in front of me. It took a while for Reed to be able to tell me the alleged truth and I'm afraid Ethan will push him into shutting himself off entirely. Ethan doesn't realize this, but I care, and as much as I dislike it, I need Reed. I need his story.

Before the scenario in my head actually works out, I look at Cole with a panicked expression.

"Come on boys, lighten up." He pats Ethan on his shoulder and softly pushes him towards me. "Have a meaningful session you two."

I'm pretty sure I just witnessed him winking towards Ethan. "I'll be waiting outside, hurry up." Cole mumbles into my ear as Reed walks away after saying "I'll see you later."

The moment I open the door to my office, I let out a small yelp as two strong pair of arms pull me towards a hard chest, embracing me in a warm hug. Without hesitation, I wrap my arms around his torso as well.

I wish I could melt into him, right here, into his arms.

"God, he pisses me off." He complains into my hair.

"I know." I reply, slowly tracing my fingers over his back. "But I need his story, even after all this time." The followed silence makes clear Ethan decided to not push this conversation any further.

"I've been missing you." He mumbles, tipping my chin up to face him. "A lot." My face flushes with heat as I sink my front teeth into my lower lip. "Cole told me you wanted to tell me something." He whispers as I feel his lips softly graze over my cheek, placing featherlike kisses. I think I might faint.

"I do." I whisper back, my voice involuntarily trembling. "I can't if you continue doing this." Truth is, I just want to throw myself at him at this point. The only thing withholding me is the fact that I won't be able to recover from it and won't get any work done for at least a week. Just a little more patience, soon he'll be out.

Laughter cracks out of him. "I'll stop." He says as he places one last kiss, one on my temple this time. He lets his lips linger for a few seconds before pulling away and grabbing my hand.

We walk over to the couch as I'm giddy and excited to tell him the good news. I tell him about all the evidence Cole got against his attorney. All the evidence of how all the important people from this case were connected, all being bribed by my father. I finish by telling him about Michelle, his new attorney. When I tell him he's getting an entirely new case, a clean slate, he freaks out. For the first time ever, I can visibly see hope in his eyes.

After happily chatting on for five minutes, I remind myself our time really is limited and Cole might come in to take Ethan back. I walk over to my bag to retrieve my phone. I want to show him some of the evidence pictures so that he knows it's the real deal now. As I turn around to get to my feet, I notice Ethan is now sitting with something in his hands. To my horror, he has picked up my notebook and without a warning he opens it, starting to read the notes out loud.

"To do," he attempts to put up a higher pitched voice as I cringe and quickly stride over to him. "Order a few formal dresses."

He looks at me with a smug grin on his face. "Wear them all, one by one, to conversations with Ethan." He adds as he proceeds to actually write it down, causing me to chuckle.

I tower over him, desperately trying to take the notebook from his hands before he reads something embarrassing. He stretches his arm further away and hooks the other one firmly around my waist, holding me in my place.

"Buy Lexi a b-day present." He continues with the voice. "I think you need to get her laid."

I let out a laugh at his remark and whisper-yell, "Stop invading my privacy you little—,"

"Visit Ethan's mom and Lizzie." He reads out loud and abruptly let's go of my waist, leaving me with the remaining tingles from his touch. This particular line has been checked off because I already did it.

"You did?" He breathes, dropping the notebook on the couch.

I silently reply with a plain nod of my head. "I'm sorry, maybe I should've waited a little longer. I hurried into it when you agreed I should speak with your mom. I just thought—"

He silences me by pulling me closer to him. "No, no, don't apologize." He tucks a loose strand of hair behind my ear. "I'm just surprised you actually went to see them, that's all. I thought you had too much other stuff going in."

"They were a priority to you, so I prioritized them too." I mumble truthfully.

After a few minutes of silence, he draws in a sharp breath, "How are they doing?" He asks, his tone giving away the piled up sadness and worry.

"They're doing fine." I'm being honest. "Lizzie is not the little girl you left behind. She's growing up, starting to become a young woman, slowly. She's trying her best to look out for your mom, seeing you as a good example."

"I'm everything but a good example." He mutters, threading his fingers through mine, looking down.

"Don't say that." I rub my thumb over his knuckles. He brings our intertwined hands to his lips and kisses my knuckles in return. He gets even more affectionate when he's sorrowful, that much I've noticed.

"She makes great cookies." I lamely try as an attempt to assure him they really are doing better than he thinks. His mother is still sick, but I've noticed she finds her strength in her love for her children. Her belief and prayers to finally get Ethan out seem to give her the courage to go on.

He lays his frowned face in the nape of my neck. He seems to be contemplating something as he traces a finger of his free hand over my collarbone. "What did my mom tell you?"

"The entire story." I answer.

"Aren't you going to ask me what changed my mind? Why I didn't go through with the murder job the two men, one of them being your father, offered me?"

"I think you'll tell me when you trust me, us, enough to do so." I admit. It's the truth. I know he trusts me, but perhaps there's still a doubt in his mind. Perhaps he thinks it'll be too much for me to bear, hearing about how he almost did accept the murder job of my mother.

Licking his lips he continues, "Do you still think this is about me not trusting you?" He lets out a frustrated sigh as he cups my flaming face in his hands. "Hell, you're the only reliable person in my life right now."

I touch the back of one of his hands with mine and close my eyes, taking in this moment that won't last long.

"I can't lose you Daisy." He whispers, his voice gruff.

I won't go anywhere, I want to scream but my mouth remains silent. He wraps his arms around my neck and brings me to his chest, whispering endless promises, ones I know he'll try his hardest to keep.

"I won't lose you." He speaks with determination.

And I won't let you.

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A/N; happy new years lovely humans! sadly i didn't manage to finish behind bars before 2022, there are still 11 chapters left, 7 of those written but in neeeeed of some extreme rewriting. let's say our goal is somewhere in february? about damn time huh. :)

thanks for reading, i hope you enjoyed.

please don't forget to vote & comment, i really enjoy reading every single one of them.

— lyra b.