15. | many unspoken words

"Okay, I have picked out some furniture that looks so great, you're going to love it. The walls will all be white, the floor will be laid with wooden laminate. Everything will change this Thursday and Friday, and they better finish it in time. I also picked out some random psychology facts like you asked me to do, which you'll love." Lexi rambles on as she explains her little project to give this room a make-over.

I love this girl.

As she tells me about all of the improvements and changes she managed to make, I let my eyes wander around the room to picture it in my mind. It's going to be a great make-over.

"Wait, I'll read them to you." She squeals excitedly, pulling out her phone. "Individuals who have a deep sense of guilt are better at identifying the emotions and concerns of the people around them." She begins to read out every single psychology fact she's found, causing my smile to grow even wider. It seems like she's barely even breathing, only rambling. I softly put my hand over her mouth to cover it and stop her from rambling out of breath.

"You've honestly outdone yourself." I chuckle as I slowly let my hand fall. "You're awesome, but please, breathe."

"So, you like the ideas?" She gives me a toothed smile, causing me to mirror it.

"I love it." I mumble gratefully, wrapping my arms around her. "I don't even know how to properly thank you. You already have an extremely busy schedule, and somehow you did all this in a short amount of time. You barely let me help you."

"Anything for you." She walks over to my new and entirely personal coffee machine in the corner of the room, which arrived this morning, to grab us some. As she walks back and hands me the cup, she glances around the room, sitting down in one of the chairs to sip on hers.

I take a sip of mine as well and close my eyes for a few seconds. Some would say coffee is overrated, I would say it's an absolute necessity in my life. Not particularly to stay awake, but it just feels like it relaxes all my senses. It gives me a minute to enjoy the warmth and taste, letting the calmness wash over me. After a few minutes of silent sips and looking around the room, I notice Lexi is glancing curiously over at me. "How was your week? Any interesting sessions?" She begins, putting down her half full cup.

"Just the usual type of convo's I have honestly." I state, trying to remember if anything out of the ordinary happened. I wouldn't tell the personal stuff of my clients to Lexi, but every now and then I do share some minor things about how the conversations went. I make sure to not mention any names, even if I tell her something that's quite irrelevant. Thought, I can't say I haven't mentioned Ethan's name numerous times. I guess he's somewhat of an exception.

She throws me a glare with one of her sly smiles, indicating what she was aiming for when asking about conversations. "What about Ethan? Did you see him today?

I nod, avoiding her curious eyes by sipping coffee and nibbing on a muesli bar.

"And?" She pushes with a smile plastered on her face. I narrow my eyes at her and softly kick her feet under the desk. "Oh c'mon Brooklyn, I'm literally prying the words out of you." A pout forms on her lips as she leans forward, expecting a proper answer this time.

Not being able to resist, I let my mind wander back to the beginning of the week.

"Well actually, the first day I came back here after the court, I ran into Reed and we spoke. You know how he's been acting rather odd, mainly against Ethan. " She nods at this, thinking back at all the interactions with Reed that I've told her about. "He said that there was something going on, but he couldn't tell me. I urged him to elaborate, but he insisted that it wasn't the right time. He promised to tell me when he was sure he wouldn't get... harmed."

Lexi seems at a loss for words. "Harmed?" Lexi raises an eyebrow, "By who?"

I lift my shoulders, frustration evident in my every move. "I don't have a clue, but it has to be my father, right? He's the only person that hates Ethan and persists that he's my mom's murderer."

"I'm sorry, this is such a mess." Lexi lets out a sigh, her hand finding mine. I give her a weak smile.

She's right. It is an absolute mess.

My mother is buried six feet under, answers to some of my questions buried down there with her. Ethan is in prison for life because of it. Ethan's innocent, which means the actual killer has been and still is somewhere out there.

My father blames Ethan and absolutely hates him. Which, in my opinion, makes zero sense. He and my mother hated each other, he never loved her. He never treated her right. And now he's acting like he's grieving for her.

Then there's the way they tried to blame Ethan for my attack as well, tempering with the video footage. Till this day I don't know who did that, but once again, I can only point fingers towards my father.

Reed could be holding some of the answers that can possibly connect all this, but till he finally is able to speak up, I am no wiser.

I have to try harder. I have to find out, I have to force justice for both my mother's and Ethan's sake.

Saving Lexi from the summary of the mess, I continue telling about my week. "After the conversation with Reed, I saw Ethan for the first time since court. You can imagine how I felt, I was—,"

"Angry, upset, disappointed?" She fills in, squeezing my hand. "And you had every right to be like that. I can't believe he didn't tell you his case was your mother's case."

And thus, I told Lexi all about Ethan's reasoning. I told her how he didn't want me to see him as a monster and to be afraid of him. He was afraid that I wouldn't be accepting of his innocence once I found out it was related to my mother's death.

"That's kind of—," Lexi begins, not being able to contain her smile, "Cute and thoughtful, I guess?"

I let out a soft chuckle, letting go of her hand as I take a sip of my coffee, which had turned cold by now. Finishing it, I grabbed both of our empty cups. "I understood where he came from, but I couldn't help but be a bit withholding during the conversation."

"Hard to get, huh?"

I lift my chin as I nod at this, a grin spreading across my face. "He said he would win my trust back, because he felt like I was afraid of him. He said he didn't want to do this to— us." I repeat Ethan's words, preparing myself for Lexi's happy squeals. I get up from my seat, holding both cups and walking over to put them next to the coffee machine.

She gets to her feet to reach me, tugging at my arm, making me turn around to face her again. "So, there's definitely something blooming."

I chew on my lower lip as I get anxious over the thought. How could we ever work?

"I guess so."  I mumble as we leave my workspace, walking through the corridor towards the room we'll be staying in overnight. We have to catch up on some schoolwork and promised to pull an all-nighter together. "Honestly Lexi, this is such a messy situation. I can't imagine us being something while he's in here and we're both going through all this shit."

"Whatever, I ship it."

As much as I want to say I do too, doubts still cloud my feelings. One day I feel like I can conquer all of them and dive into this with Ethan, the other day I feel hopeless and anxious about it.

There are still too many unspoken words, unknown pasts and uncertain futures.

"Sorry to disappoint you Lex, but at this rate that ship is going to sink very soon." I speak up as I somehow manage to smile through the thoughts. We approach the corner near the end of the corridor, which leads to the bedrooms for guards who stay overnight and switch shifts.

"Oh, hell no!" She laughs as she follows me back to our room. "I've seen the way he looks at you." She nudges my shoulder but suddenly tenses. I follow her gaze and see my dad looking at us with his arms folded.

"The way who looks at Brooklyn?"

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A/N; finally, lexi and brooklyn get to catch up. it also felt nice to kind of summarize the mess they're currently in. a lot of questions in your minds, i assume, and i'll be adding more to those with the upcoming chapters, hehe. we're gonna get really messy.

thanks for reading, i hope you enjoyed.

please don't forget to vote & comment, i really enjoy reading every single one of them.

— lyra b.