44- The Return of Consort Hua

She is sitting alone in her chamber. Her body grows skinnier than before and her eyes doesn't have the confidence it used to send out. She is exhausted of life, her life.

"My lady, here's your lunch." Her servant knocks her door and slide the food inside.

Consort Hua can not meet anyone while in her serving time. Not even her own hand maiden. It was very dark and lonely.

"Another day passes." She smiles bitterly.

She takes her chopsticks and pick ups the noodle. Used to be her favorite, yet now it tastes so bland.

She liked to think that the emperor favors her, love her. But deep down she knows that he doesn't. He never did. She knows. But she didn't want to admit it. Since the first time he saw her, his eyes were never looking at her. She's a woman, she can feel fakes.

However she never complained, the consort always does her best to live with it, wishing that one day he will be able to truly love her.

Without her realizing, tears fell down to her cheeks. She understands. She is a failure.

"Father, mother, your daughter is a monster. I am sorry. I am very sorry." She cries. Her parents died when she was young, so she was always alone.

A beauty like her, fails to make her own husband falls for her.

Her handmaiden hears her crying, and she feels so sorry for the consort.

"Hang on there my lady, tomorrow is your last serving day." She tries to cheer the consort up.

-

That morning is warm yet it is cloudy. Dozens of eunuchs and servants lines up in the hall. Their hands are full of beautiful robe and jewelries, already waiting for the time to come.

The bell inside the consort's palace rings, meaning that her serving time is over.

Tutu knocks the door nervously, it's been so long since she saw her lady. It must be very hard for Consort Hua, she thinks.

No answer.

A minute passes by, two minutes..

All of the servants worried about what happens. But they don't dare to say a word. Their formation looks like a flower, a standard welcoming formation for Hua Clan. They wait in silence, yet their minds are wondering all the worst reason why doesn't the consort answers.

She knocks once again.

This time, Tutu receives a knock back from the inside.

She feels relieved, "my lady, it's time."

"I understand." A small and weak voice answers.

"This servant will open the door.."

Consort Hua is wearing a simple white robe, her hair is tied in a low bun. Her eyes seems sad and tired. The black under eyes seems to tell a story.

Tutu feels sorry for her lady. She takes a deep breath. And put on a smile on her face, trying to cheer up the atmosphere. Because somehow, she can senses that everyone is depressed.

"Welcome back, Consort Hua!" All of the servants eunuchs and guards shout in unison.

"Thank you." The consort replies shortly.

The servants quickly dress Consort Hua with her usual royal outfit. Not forget to put on some jewelries. A symbolic ceremony when ones finished their serving time, and to take back the titles they once taken off when serving.

After the ceremony, the consort goes back to her royal chamber.

"It's been a long time", she mumbles as she looks around her chamber. The bed, high ceilings and curtains looks just like in her memory.

"Your majesty, what hairstyle suits the consort's mood today?" A young servants asks while combing her hair.

"It's okay, I don't feel like it." The consort quickly stands and walks to her pavilion.

Tutu follows her in silence, keeping distance from her lady.

The servant sees her from distance, Consort Hua seems like a different person. No ambition, no grudges, no nothing. Just a hollow beauty. She had given up.

The consort sits alone in her pavilion. Her expression is blank, nothing matters anymore. He had lost everything. But she doesn't seem sad, just tired.

Her small delicate fingers touch the flower vase in-front if her. Beautiful violet colored berries. And then she smiles. And takes the vase back to her chamber.

Weeks passes by, seems like Consort Hua is not the same person anymore. She rarely talks and doesn't want to dress herself. All she does everyday is just staring at the vase.

"My lady, should this servant calls the royal tailor? The consort will need extravagant clothes for the upcoming festival." It is still a few months away, but usually the consort never forget about any festivals. So Tutu tries to remind her of it.

"Wait a little more, and then we might not need to make anymore clothes." She says in a weird tone. Tutu doesn't understand what does the consort mean. So she just nods and go.

Tutu walks away to her chamber, she doesn't like it. She doesn't like not doing anything at all she wants her lady back. All these weeks she hasn't done anything because her lady always tells her to go back to her chamber. She misses the old Consort Hua. Now the consort only stare at the old vase.

Tutu is cleaning her place when it hits her. The vase. It is from the Hua clan. Tutu is sure she has seen it before. The vase is.. is..

The servant quickly runs to her lady's chamber.  Not caring about anything else. Cold sweats drip from her forehead. Her heart almost stops. How come she didn't understand earlier? She prays to any God that is listening right now. Please don't let the consort do anything stupid.

Tutu doesn't even knock the door when she enters. Panting, and out of breath. She sees her lady sits with a violet colored water inside her usual tea cup.  Tutu quickly slaps the consort's hand making the cup drops and shatters on the floor.

"What are you doing?" The consort asks.

"Don't do it. Don't even think." Tutu is already crying at this point. If she's late even just a split second, it will be too late. "My lady, this servant begs you." Tutu never thought that her lady will ever even think to ends her life.

"You can go back to your-"

"No, this servant will not leave."

"Tutu.. I have no other purpose in life, I am a failure."

"No, my lady is not." Tutu cries seeing her lady's misery.

"I know he never loves me, but I kept on fooling myself. I know that he will never.." The consort sobs.

".." Tutu does not know what to say. "But my lady.."

Tutu knows that the consort had a very hard life in Hua Manor because she lost both of her parents when she was young. And then she lived with her uncle, Minister Hua who is a power-hungry person.

So she thought that her only purpose in life is to be an empress, to bring Hua Clan to their peak again. And to revenge to the Wei Clan for what they did.

"But my lady also never likes the emperor, right?" Tutu asks.

The consort stops crying. That's right, she never likes him as a guy. She always thinks that  she has to make him fall for her, but she, herself never. It's all for power, because his affection means power.

She smiles, but it doesn't makes her better. So all this time she was chasing nothing. Then what's the point of it? She doesn't even want anything anymore.

Who misses Consort Hua?

Haha.. have a nice day everyone